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Someone asked me once...
What is to be trapped in a man's body
I'm not trapped in a man's body, I said.
I'm trapped in Ecuador.
In our image and likeness: Transgender individuals and their subjectivities in transit
So what are you then...
...a man or a woman?
I’m a drag.
I don’t consider myself...
...*** or transgendered
I consider myself a trans-heterosexual girl because I like men
These days, I define myself as a trans, but...
I like to have sex with other trans just like me. These days, I define myself as a trans, but...
I like to have sex with other trans just like me.
Now, why am I a transgendered?
Because my characters do it that way.
I’m a normal person.
It’s not my fault to be so fabulous.
My concept of a transgendered...
...is every person that transgresses the gender...
...which corresponds to that person’s sex at birth.
Well, with the term trans, we globalize the transvestite...
...the transgendered and the ***.
But a transgender comes hand in hand with a transvestite...
because they transgress only occasionally...
like the guard, the policeman, the clown
They dress according to their profession...
...whenever they required it.
A clear example of this is “the day of the widows”...
...when men dress as girls, to get money.
And there are many cases in which there are...
...reprimanded homosexuals by their family...
...that get married...
...have children, and apart from this, are transvestites.
Being a drag is different than being a transvestite.
All have different meaning.
Drag is the boy that dresses as a girl...
...to make that an art
The term “drag” is an english term that means...
...“transformed or dressed as”
or “changing radically into”
...and is followed by the second term in English for Drag Queen...
...that is “Queen.”
So, transformed into a queen or dressed radically into a queen or...
...changed into a queen.
That is to be a drag, to me.
In drag thematic...
...just like the clowns have their own clown...
...human beings also have a clown; they have a clown inside...
So, I believe that every human being has a Drag inside, as well.
Hello, hello, one, two, three, four...
To be a transgender is like...
is being weird.
A transgendered is the man or the woman that dresses as...
...a man or a woman, according to its gender identity.
I am a transgender.
I would like to define it broadly, and to get far away...
from a simple definition.
And a *** is the one that thanks to surgery has put silicon on...
implanted prosthesis, has resorted to any surgical procedure...
without the need of having the thing...
of blowing its organ.
That’s what *** means,
...that one transgresses further away from what one can imagine.
I am a transgender, I am a lesbian, I am a woman. I can be a man as well;
I can be a woman also. Then, I believe there are, uf!, so many things...
...and there are people that have defined so many things.
Trans, in reality, to be transgendered is to transgress the body.
But the only possibility to transgress the body...
...is to place yourself in the opposite gender. That is,
...if you pass from a man to a woman or from a woman to a man...
...because is the only possibility that you have in hand.
...because for the masculine part as well as for the feminine part...
...is the social surroundings that begin...
...to create these concepts and ideas on you...
...of what masculine is and feminine is.
But I believe that to be in a gender which is not mine,
I have to represent well that gender,
and that gender is the feminine.
And I have to behave as what I am. A girl.
In spite of being what through biology I am, I’m not interested in that, right?
I have to make people respect myself and to have them understand...
...that women are important, valuable, we are fighters, we are warriors...
And we have an initiative and honesty very different from men.
Me as Drag Queen...
...and as transgendered...
...has given to me, personally, the possibility to get to know...
my feminine side.
When I change to the other gender, it’s a complete rupture.
To me, *** identity, and as something that defends...
...the phrase that launches our current transgender project...
...is that *** identity is a journey,
and that touches me completely...
...because I was a lesbian woman, completely lesbian three years ago...
...and that lasted for two years. Before that,
I was a common heterosexual woman. And now...
...I have millions of possibilities. When I come out as a man on stage...
...there are gays that say to me, “wow, how handsome you are.
Come, I’ll buy you a drink” or women that know that I’m a woman...
...but like women with male appearance. So then, I...don’t know. If
I am a trans or whatever. I’m only in a journey, like this long.
Trans, transgendered, transvestite, ***, gay, ***, ***, ***…
my *** identity does not end in these definitions,
more than anything, is a journey.
Who am I?
My name is Mabel Montesdeoca, as a transgender activist.
You know that I, just as Carlos and as Ginger...
...I always show myself as I am...
I think that my legal name cannot mean anything...
...my name Mabel Montesdeoca is of more interest.
I’m friendly, I am a loyal person. You can tell me...
...anything and I keep it.
Biologically, I am a man, but I project myself as a woman.
I live as a woman, I feel as a woman, and at the same time,
I conduct my life as a girl.
The same is with Ginger,
meaning both of them have the same personality.
Only that one is more open-minded, the other is closed-minded.
One dares to do more things, the other doesn't.
Since childhood and adolescence,
I was living incredible moments at the peninsula.
Carlos is...
Do I do this thing? No! Instead, Ginger doing shows does not think...
Do I take off my corset off or I don’t? Do I do this or not? No!
Ginger at once goes...Zas!
So this is why, the love for this land that is not mine,
this is why the fight in this community that is mine, yes.
I’m peninsular, but actually, I was born in Guayaquil.
Daniel Moreno, who is Daniel Moreno?
A 35 year old man,
a 24 year homosexual...
a 10 year Drag,
a 10 year partner.
Jem is a sincere person, like any human being that falls in love.
A friend for life...
...and more than anything, passionate for life.
For her community, for her own, for the people to come...
I like paintings, art in general
I do poetry, I write my own things, my own songs.
Daniel Moreno is also a master, a teacher, a builder...
...an architect, a designer.
Daniel Moreno is a costume designer; I design costumes...
for theater groups here in Quito...
...and have designed costumes outside of the country as well.
Music, I love music, music has always moved me, always...
As Carlos, when I cannot record my songs...because I can’t record them...
...I make my own music mixes for my shows, so, I edit the songs...
...and place the parts that I like the most, the vocal parts,
where I can see I have energy.
Because as Carlos I would not dare to do what Ginger would on a stage.
(Playing: Mr. President)
“Give it to me hard...
...give it to me hard”
Ok, what’s up! Are we doing good?
Um...yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah
My name in Drag is Sarai, and Sarai interprets many characters.
Sarai is the one having fun. Daniel is the one working extremely hard...
...fixing everything for her to have fun.
And is cool, because people also notice that difference...
Cool because sometimes there are people saying, damn Daniel...
was this done by Daniel? He build a wall? Yes.
He does construction work, as an architect...
...as an interior designer and everything.
And then they see Sarai, just holding a drink, a cigarette...
...and everything is served to her, and she’s feeling beautiful...
...and that is funny because they say...
That is not Daniel, it’s Sarai.
And before Daniel keeps going...
We will present the owner of this place, who works very hard...
...year after year, to present new plays...
...who has worked without ceasing...
...to make many plays, all the installations...
...for doing everything, for calling us, for inviting you: Daniel Moreno.
Ready? Ok, do we continue?
The first time I dressed as a woman was durning school...
...when I went to a school party.
It was when I was 17, around then, even before...
...that they knew I was a ***. In my house they already catched...
...that I enjoyed playing with dolls...
...and that I loved to hang out with the boys...
...but not play ball or do any of the things boys like to do.
I was a gay. I actually didn’t know the terms.
I simply was a “mariquita” (***) that enjoyed dressing as a woman.
I wear make-up since I was 14, since I was in high school.
And to explore with that new make-up, eye make-up and all that...
...call a lot of my attention.
But well, my sister’s accepted that I hang out with them...
...because they thought I liked some girl, but no, it was not that...
...it was because I wanted to use their make-up, wear their heels...
...try on their purses, their dresses.
And I said, wow, I do look good...
...because all my friends were close-minded...
but they saw me and wow!... they said...
you look good!
But in the inside, I enjoyed hanging out with the girls,
but it was to take their things to learn their things.
Then, my father discovered my inclination, my orientation...
...since I was about 16 years old, and he warned me...
“Please, any weird stuff outside of the house.”
This leaves a mark on you. The things you say to a child, they mark you.
They affect you a lot, maybe as you grow.
And he could not consent certain things...
...that were embarrassing and sinful to him.
And there were things I did while I was a child.
And the truth is, I did not know what I was doing actually...
...because I was a child,
I was a kid.
And I felt trapped; I could not face it, because I felt ashamed for my family.
So this is why I would move from place to place...
...to bring out what I had inside, right?
To feel good, to feel what I was really like.
I thought they could kick me out; I had to do it, but hiding, in secrecy.
I remember when I first came out of the closet, wow!
The classic double life one lives and to tell mom:
“oh no, I will go out with some girlfriends”
But...it did not please me; it pleased me to dress as a girl.
So, this is the reason why I came to the Peninsula.
To bring girl’s clothes, everything from a girl and to feel like a girl here.
I would *** myself from time to time on the weekends
but hiding from my family, hiding from my friends.
I would transverse and go out...
The next day, I would turn back into the other person
just like SUPERMAN.
Song Daisy – Kevin Johansen
"From an early age...
...she did as she pleased.
Since he was a little boy, was already a little girl...
...and didn’t play with little dolls..."
Dionisios was created for gay people, meaning,
a cultural space for gay people.
And here we have audiences from heterosexuals, to bisexuals...
...to homosexuals, to transvestites, to fetishists.
There’s a bit of everything. But what I think is the nicest part,
is that none of these things matter here, It only matters...
...to see the show that will be presented...
...and the stories told during the show.
Song Sobreviviré – Monica Naranjo
"I have the anxiety of youth. I’m afraid, just as you...
...and every morning I break down while seeing the cruel reality.
There is no one in the world, no, no one more fragile than me.
Acrylic hair, leather and heels, make-up even for the heart.
And at night the lubricated city blooms again.
There is no one in the world, no, no one tougher than me.
Ah, ah, ah, ah!
I must survive, lying to myself"
The person who had “the baton,” the lead, on First of May Street,
is the one speaking to you.
And I would sneak out to the streets to work.
There was a time, during the administration of Intendant Noboa...
...when many trans were reprimanded; many trans...
...and transvestites were murdered daily.
They would turn up dead in “La Perimetral” highway.
Many were disfigured, their buttocks where burned...
...they were castrated. They were marked with a kind of crossword.
They were burned with car lighters, their hairs were cut,
...they left them almost dead. What a complicity and what a coincidence,
that when these things happened, the police never showed up.
Because the girls died, we joined FEMIS
(Ecuadorian Foundation for *** Minorities),
and then Friends for Life.
From here, we started to be what we wanted to be:
Peninsular Transgender United for Life.
We host the GLB community.
We placed the “T” of trans, originally at the end, at the beginning...
...because we saw that it was time for us to have our own visibility...
...our own representation.
So from then on, we started to bring the girls together.
Girls, we must acknowledge that we are dying of AIDS, this and that...
I don’t know, and we don’t care, what we care about...
...is that we need to defend ourselves and to educate ourselves.
We need to be on the lookout.
So it was time to choose, them or us, within ourselves.
So we decided that it was time to end this, time to denounce it.
And that’s how it was.
Song I will survive – Monica Naranjo
"Come and rise like the blue smoke...
...don’t suffer anymore love.
And ripping myself something in my life changed.
I will survive...
I will search for a place...
...between the rubble of my loneliness.
Strange paradise, where you are absent.
And even if it hurts, I want freedom...
...even if it hurts."
...because we wake up everyday, making politics...
And this is how we formed the first group here.
With the town’s “contagious people”, like they know us.
But in reality, we can have AIDS; however to us AIDS stands...
...for Affection, Intelligence, Dollars and Soundness.
And so, if they tell us, AIDS, what’s AIDS?
Well then, yes, I do have AIDS. I have affection, I have intelligence...
...I have dollars and I have soundness.
I don’t know if you have that.
If I have ***, then well,
the only thing I have is short term goals,
and what you don’t do in two years, I do in six months.
If I have ***, and if I have AIDS and if I’m a carrier,
then I’m a solidarity carrier, but not a virus carrier.
And this is why... today we try... a person like me...
that has lived these experiences... I don’t want the youth of today...
the girls that have opted for this *** option of being trans,
of being transvestite, of being whatever...
...I don’t want them going to the streets...
...to *** themselves, because prostitution is not simple...
...is not easy, you must be brave, you must have courage...
...you must have guts, because there you find all kinds of dangers,
all kinds of humiliations, and all kinds of filth.
We go through many calamities, why?
Because sometimes I have to wait for a haircut to land to say: Let’s do this!
The trans community lacks this education,
has not received workshops, there is not interest to teach them.
You know why I started to study publicity?
To launch myself as a product,
to learn about the market...
...and to launch myself as a product.
But girls conform, and suddenly, we are requesting something absurd,
why I say absurd? “I want to be the manager of some place,”
...but how will they demand this if they have not even been educated.
Leaders do not exist yet, there are no leaders.
I can’t say there are leaders, there are no leaders.
(Chanting) for health! (Chanting) for transgender girls!
(Chanting) Life for transgender girls in the Peninsula! (Chanting)
(Chanting) For the mayors to work for this group!
Then, this is why I study publicity. Besides, like I said,
I work very hard for what I want.
That there are girls that have many good and concrete ideas,
that are very good students, good scholars,
but they don't work in their field, because they still fear.
They still fear that, rejection from society,
from the same community and from themselves.
So, Ginger`s fear is to be a nobody..
Song I will survive – Monica Naranjo
"I must survive, lying to myself"
Ready? Ok...
Perfect, where we left off?
Good question, where we left off
"Ay, how delicious you are daddy,
ay...how good the president is.
Ay... Ay... Ay...”)
What is Correa doing? The provincialization.
Do you think I’m dumb? No, I don’t have my hair extensions yet.
Now, today they overturned Mahuad, they overturned Alarcón, and so on,
they will overturn every president they feel like overturning.
When they don’t like the pretty face of a president or how he speaks...
forget about it, they will kick him out.
Why they didn’t overturn Febres-Cordero?
With so many assassinations and many deaths, many persecutions...
...that today are in impunity, how many deaths,
why didn’t they overturn him?
Why do you ask me about the government?
Because it was an oligarch government.
A government that would not allow, coming from any class,
to have them do what they did, to go out on the streets,
because I bet if Febres-Cordero is in power...
And tell him you will do a civil protest,
and Febres-Cordero will place the military all over the country.
If Febres-Cordero would be in power today,
...he would have already sent Nebot and his four dogs home.
You will not mess with my uncle Nebot!
The mayor may say in public that he commands in Guayaquil...
...but he doesn't command in Guayaquil.
No, Guayaquil is not prepared.
Guayaquil is not prepared to see Ginger.
He is the administrator of the city.
He gets his salary from the citizens with the taxes they pay.
Therefore, he is neither the chief, nor the boss...
...he is just another public employee of the Municipality of Guayaquil.
I hate Urban Redevelopment; my heels get stuck in the cobblestone.
I can't walk!
Is the first time I go out as a drag in broad daylight...
I’m just another citizen,
I have rights and I cab be here like any other person.
I’m nervous thinking about how people can react. I don’t know, I don’t know.
I’m nervous, I feel cold.
Yes, here it comes ufff... Here no one can say anything.
(“Right of Admission Reserved”)
Well, I will ask and I hope she doesn’t have any problems.
Thank you.
Hi, Im Indira, from Honduras.
Hello, Im Ginger, from here...
From here, from Guayaquil?
Yes
Have you noticed one thing?
Look, in every South American country that I’ve visited...
...every statue of Simón Bolivar is gay.
Maybe is the sculptureis problem, but if you stop and observe, they are.
To confront society you must fix your member,
because the bulk hurts and the voice always reveals.
We must learn not to remain silent.
Ok guys, now the real deal comes...
To talk about a gay community or a general community...
...or a community here in Quito, or in Ecuador, is very hard, very hard.
And I can prove it eh; I can prove that to this day.
Mentally retarded. Disrupted. Why?
Because why do they believe, in the case of men...
believe they are women, and start using wigs or grow their hair...
...or go through surgery, what’s wrong with them. I don’t agree with that.
Exactly! Because being gay...well...
there are people that don’t like gay people,
but there are people that don’t like gay people but get along with me.
But in this case... it’s only the Lord...
One must search for God’s kingdom, in heaven,
to keep those demons away. Those are demons roaming around.
It seems to me they have the rights that every other person can have.
Is something you are born with.
In my opinion, transvestites are normal people like you and me...
...that have different *** preferences and must be respected,
just like we like to be respected.
They are good people, there are also bad people...
...but they must be respected.
There are some people already saying this is normal.
So, normal to them...
...would be for people to start having relations with animals?
They have called me sick.
They have told me I’m a person setting bad example.
But the truth is, if I observe, why you call me sick?
Because I talk about AIDS? But I talk about AIDS for them to prevent it...
...and you don’t even talk about it because you are ashamed...
I do not agree with that,
because a homosexual must not wear women clothing.
You say I set a bad example because I dress as a woman?
you set the bad example as a man arriving drunk to your house...
...kicking the dog, beating you wife, and hitting your child.
Truthfully, is completely wrong, to society, to humanity and to God.
This is what I can say in relation to God’s opinion,
because Im a son of God.
We were sitting in a small deck, in a restaurant,
and a group of transvestites that hustle in the Mariscal walked by,
and one of them started shouting: Clown ***, clown transvestite,
who do you think you are filthy transvestite.
They started shouting very derogative things.
How can we demand respect, if many of us do not respect each other,
if transfobia exists among us.
Tonight we are celebrating trans pride...
...that we feel proud of transgressing...
...our human masculine nature to be feminine.
Because it's time that we vindicate ourselves,
that we join and fight for our rights.
Because the boys, the gays, the lesbians,
are always ahead, they fight.
And it is time for us to stand up and say: “well, now the trans.”
We have many projects to show the Municipality and the public...
... that we are not only hairdressing, or cooking or drinking alcohol.
That this demonstration is for health rights, employment,
...and why not, education.
The word trans means: transform, transgress, to break schemes.
And you break these schemes everyday.
You transform a society that for many years has stepped on you.
And you say, “here we stand today,” this is a permanent fight.
This is the reason why, when we talk about this concept,
we say that it is important to visualize ourselves...
...in the right to demand citizenship.
And to demand citizenship is not only to be in a party...
...or to appear from time to time.
To demand citizenship, is to say that we are human beings,
and as human beings we deserve respect from society.
“Ecuador is all of us”
We are here at the Civil Record Office to learn if officials...
...have already made a conscience about discrimination,
because last time I was the object of the violation of my rights at this office.
I took the documents that I received in Guayaquil,
where in the city’s People’s Defense Bureau and the Civil Record Office,
...they had approved that we could get our identification card as trans.
But here, he denied it. He said to take off my make up...
...and to put up my hair on a pony tail.
So next I went downstairs, I took his name, and I went to Guayaquil...
...to get my identification card. I have my identification card as a girl.
I’m not asking for a change of name, because I can’t,
but I do request to have my picture with my gender identity, as I am.
The same with the university, I go as a girl.
They call me as a girl, and they don’t say my first name, only my last name.
Everyone knows I’m a girl. I don’t mind to pay from my own money...
...for the other girls’ identification cards.
But that *** treats them like they are, women.
Soledad, who is part of our organization...
“Pictures in 40 seconds”
...will get her identification card now, let’s see what happens.
“Civil Records Office”
“FORBIDDEN. Do not stain the walls”
“Identification Cards”
-Is this your identification card?
-Yes, it’s my identification card.
-Like this on the screen?
-Yes.
-Ok, then you must look like this
-You must renovate your identification card just like it shows.
But if I go to an institution, they say, you know, this is not you,
...because it doesn’t look like me.
If I look like this all day long, and all night long,
how I am right now, how will a present my identification card as a man...?
Of course you have to present it.
$2 Identification Cards $6 Renewal
We can’t keep allowing these people, the so called “public officials”,
if they don’t know the law.
-What’s your name?
-Ok, my name is Kléber.
-Kléber. What sex do you have here...Male!
And ignorance is what corrupts us the most.
You have to change your last names, first names, and sex.
No, I don’t need to change my sex...
In what world are we? They say we are the third world,
...I don’t think so, we are worst, we are uff... in the fifth world.
Because this country seems to be the slowest in Latin America.
-The general director says he can't.
-Because we had to...
-See... The doctors have to come...
-Please, turn that camera off, if you are kind, please, I’m asking a favor...
...turn the camera off. If you are kind, please, I’m asking a favor...
...turn the camera off. Officer! would you please, I’m tired of that camera.
-Roberto, Roberto, would you please, either you take this away or with you.
-It’s confiscated. The Civil Records Office is in National Emergency ...
Officer...it’s confiscated.
Yes, many people, men, women, dress as they feel,
...they color their hair, use different clothes and they are fine.
They have their right. Now me, I’ve decided to dress this way...
...to have a personality and they can’t give me an identification card?
Well, I don’t get it. I need my rights to be able to move forward, as a person.
I already had my identification card with the picture as a girl, of course,
with my original names, and because they did not give Soledad...
...her identification card, they took mine as a reference...
...to ask and to investigate in the different departments,
why and in what office I obtained my identification card...
...and they gave me this paper, my temporary identification card.
We are not missing an ear, or an arm, we are not blind, we are not mute.
To the contrary, we are complete human beings and like complete...
...human beings we can do marvelous things.
We are at the step of the fight. There’s a bug inside to defend citizenship,
that citizenship denied because we defend what we are...
...for our gender identity...that citizenship...
that people can’t see that we are productive beings.
And in that, is everyone’s inner fight, to face life,
to take the bull by its horns, and to keep going.
To achieve our objective of getting our identification cards...
...as transgender girl citizens.
I believe we have really contributed with this...
...we have contributed with many ideas.
We have contributed with feelings.
And in the same way, we must cover all the spaces,
because we have the same rights as heterosexuals.
That people understands that the heterosexual world...
...and the homosexual world are not that different,
to the contrary, both worlds have too many things in common.
The difference is with whom you sleep, nothing more.
And now, I’m heading home, but once again without identification card,
but happy, because the fight starts, and we will never loose the wars,
...because we acknowledge we exist and we must be well-known.
I don’t believe there are homosexual, transvestite or lesbian gods,
no. In heaven, there are pure things.
He tells us in the bible. “Let us make man to our image and likeness.”
And I am the image and likeness of God...
Transcripción: Rafaela Orrantia. Subtitulado: Fabián Burbano.
After this documentary, Jem was in jail for six months…
…and we never knew the reason for it.
Ginger now dresses freely as drag in broad daylight.
Mabel Montesdeoca got her identification card back…
… and the transgender girls are allowed to get…
…their identification card in the Peninsula.
Daniel Moreno has given interviews in television and gotten good press.
He still produces his own plays at Dionisios.