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An Open Letter: Dear friend,
dear stranger, dear beautiful creation of God, dear Mom
dear dad, dear son and daughter
dear precious human being, dear man
and women and boy and girl, dear whole entire world...
Sometimes I feel like people don't say this enough to you but
you are beautiful. And I don't just mean physically beautiful, which you truly are,
but I mean that you
carry about you, within you, and around you a complete and utter essence of beauty.
An essence that when fully embraced betters not just the people directly
around you, but that shines a light
out into the whole entire world. You often walk with your head down
and that makes me sad, because when you hurt, I hurt...
and not because I empathize with what you're feeling but because it hurts to see
something so beautiful
think that it's not. I hear the way you talk to yourself,
those little things you say when you think no one can hear you.
Those subtle, self-deprecating jokes you make so that no one else can,
those loud lies of confidence you scream out into the void
praying that no one ever sees through the fact that sometimes when you're alone
you wish you didn't exist. I see you sitting alone in the corner trying not to talk
for fear that you'll accidentally trick us into thinking you're not beautiful.
Sometimes, yes sometimes, and I know that sometimes "sometimes" means most of the
time, and sometimes "sometimes"
means all of the time, and I know that a lot of the time you're in a lot
of pain. The kind of pain that you feel with every part of your being, like needles
being pressed into every
nerve, because when you feel you feel fully, and when you feel something you
let it encompassed your entire
being on the off chance that feeling could be love, and that is a beautiful way to
live
but sometimes... sometimes.. sometimes that makes you
vulnerable. And I know that sometimes you don't feel that pain,
I know that sometimes you don't feel anything.
And I know that sometimes you can't decide which one of those is worse so you
do your best to feel everything
and nothing all at once... Sometimes you try and equate that emotional pain or
the lack thereof with a physical pain, and I know that you think that that
helps
but you're wrong. In fact you're wrong about a lot of things, because you may be
beautiful but you're also very foolish and you've somehow tricked yourself into
thinking that
because you can't meet the world's every standard of perfection that that somehow
means you aren't worth anything.
And sometimes, sometimes you mistake the world's unrealistic view of
perfection with your own equally twisted and unrealistic view.
But you're wrong, you're more wrong than you could ever imagine being and don't
try to tell me that I'm wrong because I can see you and you can't hide your
beauty from me.
You utter and complete fool, can't you see it?
Can't you see that every little thing you do touches so many people, that you are the
sun on a rainy day and that there are a LOT of
rainy days. But sometimes suns need sunlight too so look at me and let me be
your sun!
Let me pour some love back into you because I will never
let you burn out. Because, and you better
listen close. Because I love you.
No, STOP, you're doing it again. You're tricking yourself into thinking that you're not
worthy of what I'm offering to you but the truth is that it's my love that is barely
worthy
of you, and you are worthy of so much and so much more...
And I'm not the only one. I promise you that there are more suns
that would love nothing more than to pour a little sunshine back into your life.
So stop believing those lies. I'm not even going to talk about them anymore because we both
know that you know
exactly what they are. I'm not going to talk about them, I'm just going to talk
about you.
You, you wonderful beautiful
thing! Do you know how much you are worth... a worth that only pails
in comparison to how much you are loved.
You are loved by me, and by the people around you, and by the one who created you,
and we have not forgotten you. All you have to do
is give one of us a call and we will come running to you because you are you
and you are beautiful and I love you. You can't do it all, and that's okay. And you
don't need to meet the world's or even your own twisted standard of perfection because
who you are is
already perfect. I can tell you right now that you're never gonna meet that
standard because you can't fit inside that box.
Because you are perfect, and your perfection is unique and your uniqueness
is beautiful. Not sometimes,
never sometimes, all the time! Since even before you were born, you were knit
together stitch by stitch and then you came into this world and made it so much
better!
So listen to me because this letter isn't meant to convince you of a
barely conceivable truth, it's to thank you; to thank you for being who you are
and for making my world a little brighter that you would bless me by
merely
existing in it. So please, for my sake
keep existing. Just keep moving.
Don't give up on yourself because I never will.
Because you are beautiful and sometimes,
sometimes, sometimes you forget.
Don't forget. Never forget.
All my love, Amanda Lynn Scott