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Tara: I'M DISGUSTED WITH MYSELF.
IF I COULD CUT IT OFF, I WOULD.
JUST -- JUST TAKE IT OFF.
Woman: SOMETIMES IT FEELS LIKE I'M DEAD,
LIKE THAT I'M NOT ALIVE.
Woman #2: IF I COULD DO IT WITHOUT THE SURGERY,
I WOULD HAVE DONE IT.
MY WAY DOESN'T WORK.
AND THIS IS A DYNAMIC THAT WE NEED TO CHANGE NOW.
I'M DONE WITH THIS! I-I QUIT! I'M DONE!
OH, IT HURTS.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
Woman: I CAN'T BE THE REASON YOU LOSE WEIGHT
OR THE REASON YOU GAIN WEIGHT, PERIOD.
[ Voice breaking ] I'M GONNA MAKE THIS WORK. I PROMISE.
WE CAN'T PROCEED.
RIGHT NOW.
-- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com
CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS
Tara: SOME PEOPLE DISPLAY THEIR PAIN ON THE OUTSIDE,
BUT MORE OFTEN THAN NOT,
THEIR PAIN ON THE INSIDE IS FAR WORSE.
BECAUSE OF MY SIZE, I DON'T DO MUCH OF ANYTHING.
I DON'T MOVE MUCH.
BASICALLY, MY DAY IS IN THE BED, STUCK.
[ GRUNTING ]
IT'S NOT EASY.
THIS IS WHAT I AM ASHAMED OF. THIS.
THIS I CAN'T DEAL WITH.
IF I COULD CUT IT OFF RIGHT NOW, I WOULD AND WOULDN'T CARE.
JUST -- JUST TAKE IT OFF.
I'M DISGUSTED BY MYSELF.
EVERYTHING I DO IN THE ROOM. I DON'T DO MUCH OF ANYTHING.
[ SIGHS ]
I TRY TO HELP OUT AT TIMES.
TARA, I NEED FOR YOU TO COME HELP ME IN THE KITCHEN.
ALL RIGHT.
I'M IN CONSTANT PAIN.
MY WEIGHT HAS WORN DOWN THE CARTILAGE IN MY KNEES,
SO WHEN I WALK, IT'S LITERALLY BONE-ON-BONE.
IT HURTS.
GOT IT?
YEP.
I'M TIRED OF MY KNEES HURTING.
I'M TIRED OF MY BACK HURTING
'CAUSE MY STOMACH HANGS SO FAR DOWN.
I'M JUST TIRED.
YOU WANT IT CREAMY?
Paula: YES.
THANK YOU, MOM.
NO, THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME.
OH, YOU'RE WELCOME.
Tara: THE WAY I AM NOW, I HATE MYSELF.
EVER SINCE I CAN REMEMBER, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN OVERWEIGHT.
Paula: IN THE 1st GRADE,
SHE WAS THE BIGGEST CHILD IN THE CLASSROOM.
Tara: IT DIDN'T REALLY DAWN ON ME ABOUT MY SIZE
UNTIL I GOT OLDER.
WHEN I WAS 13 YEARS OLD, I STEPPED ON A SCALE.
IT READ 187.5.
I JUST BRUSHED IT OFF.
WHEN I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL, I WAS 352 POUNDS.
IT HIT ME LIKE, "WOW."
YOU KNOW, IT'S AN ADDICTION. MY FOOD IS AN ADDICTION.
THIS IS MY HIDING STASH. IT'S WHEN I FEEL DOWN.
I KNOW WHERE IT'S AT,
SO I CAN GRAB ME SOMETHING AND GOT A QUICK FIX.
FOOD DOESN'T JUDGE ME.
WHETHER I'M HAPPY OR SAD OR ANGRY OR UPSET OR WHATEVER,
I ALWAYS HAVE FOOD.
FOOD HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY SAFE HAVEN.
ALWAYS.
ESPECIALLY AT THE HARDEST TIMES.
WHEN I WAS 26, I WAS ***,
AND I GOT PREGNANT FROM THE ***.
AND I HAD A -- I HAD A MISCARRIAGE.
I WAS HEAVY, BUT AFTERWARDS, I KEPT GETTING HEAVIER.
I FELT THAT IF I WOULD BECOME MORE UNATTRACTIVE,
NO MAN WOULD WANT TO TOUCH ME.
SO, IF NO MAN WANT TO TOUCH ME, THEN I'M SAFE.
IT MADE ME NOT CARE. I DIDN'T CARE.
I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT NOBODY ELSE'S FEELINGS.
Paula: [ Voice breaking ] SHE HAD A LOT OF HATRED,
SO HER HATRED MADE HER EAT.
AFTER I EAT, I FEEL DISGUSTED, ANGRY AT MYSELF.
I BEAT MYSELF UP ABOUT IT.
[ SNIFFLES ]
[ SIGHS ]
Paula: I'M HELPING HER TO STAY LIKE SHE IS
BECAUSE IT'S HARD TO SERVE HER AND TELL HER,
"THAT'S ALL YOU CAN HAVE."
I ALWAYS END UP GIVING TO HER.
SHE'S MY CHILD.
HOW CAN YOU TELL A CHILD, "NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE THIS FOOD"?
Tara: I KNOW I CAN'T KEEP GOING ON LIKE THIS.
NOW I HAVE TWO KIDS WHO NEED ME TO TAKE CARE OF THEM.
AWW.
AND I HAVE TO BE THERE TO TAKE CARE OF THEM.
MM-HMM.
MY KIDS ARE MY WORLD.
RIGHT NOW, MY MOTHER IS RAISING THEM
BECAUSE I CAN'T GET UP TO TAKE CARE OF THEM.
YEAH.
SHE DOES BASICALLY EVERYTHING.
MY MOM IS GETTING TOO OLD TO BE DOING WHAT SHE'S DOING.
I SHOULD BE TAKING CARE OF HER.
LET'S GO.
LET'S GO.
COME ON, DUKE.
LET'S PLAY BASKETBALL.
Tara: I WANT TO BE THERE FOR MY CHILDREN.
I WANT TO GO SEE THEM PLAY SPORTS.
I WANT TO CHEER THEM ON.
I WANT TO SEE THEM GROW UP.
I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE GROWING UP MISSING A PARENT,
AND I DON'T WANT MY CHILDREN TO FEEL THAT PAIN.
AND WHEN I WAS 15, ONE MORNING, MY DAD WOKE UP NOT FEELING WELL,
WENT TO THE DOCTOR,
AND THREE DAYS LATER, HE PASSED AWAY.
THAT QUICK.
[ SNIFFLES ]
I CAN'T LEAVE MY CHILDREN THE WAY MY DADDY LEFT ME.
MM-HMM.
SHE TRIES TO DO AS MUCH AS SHE CAN,
BUT SHE COULD DO MORE.
Tara: I WANT TO LOSE THE WEIGHT,
AND THE FOOD IS GONNA ALWAYS BE THERE,
BUT I WON'T.
IF I KEEP ON THE WAY I'M GOING, I WON'T.
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
I KNOW I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING, AND I HAVE TO DO IT NOW.
I HAVEN'T BEEN TO THE DOCTOR IN SEVEN YEARS.
I'M REALLY NERVOUS.
AND IT HAS A STEP.
YEAH.
BE CAREFUL.
I GOT IT. I GOT IT.
OH, YOU'RE SO SWEET.
Woman: MS. TAYLOR?
NERVOUS. [ CHUCKLES ]
DON'T BE.
Tara: IT'S BEEN YEARS SINCE I'VE ACTUALLY WEIGHED MYSELF.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WEIGH NOW.
OH, MY GOD.
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
HELLO.
I'M DR. NOWZARADAN, TARA.
YES, SIR.
YOU HAVE BEEN OVERWEIGHT FOR HOW LONG?
I'VE ALWAYS BEEN OVERWEIGHT.
OKAY.
WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM
THAT YOU'RE NOT ABLE TO LOSE WEIGHT?
MY KNEES HURT ME A LOT.
SO I CAN'T GO AND EXERCISE.
HERE'S A COUPLE THINGS THAT YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND.
YES, SIR.
YOU DON'T GET TO BE 600 POUNDS IF YOU ARE ABLE TO EAT PROPERLY.
IT'S BECAUSE YOU TAKE IN TOO MANY CALORIES.
OKAY.
AND SO HOW MANY TIMES YOU EAT --
I EAT BREAKFAST, DINNER, SNACKS IN BETWEEN,
THEN SUPPER AT NIGHT.
AND THEN MAYBE A SNACK AFTER SUPPER.
Dr. Nowzaradan: TARA SEEMS TO HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH THE FACT
THAT SHE'S OVEREATING.
TO SUSTAIN HER WEIGHT,
SHE HAS TO EAT AT LEAST 6,000 CALORIES A DAY.
SOMEONE IN HER SITUATION IS NOT DOING IT ALONE.
MY MOM.
YOU NEED TO CUT YOUR EATING HABIT,
AND I THINK, PROBABLY,
WE SHOULD HAVE A LITTLE VISIT WITH YOUR MOM
AND MAKE SURE SHE'S GONNA SUPPORT YOU
IN EATING THREE TIMES A DAY
AND NOT THE SNACKING IN BETWEEN.
IS YOUR MOM HERE?
DR. NOWZARADAN.
HI.
HELLO. HOW YOU DOING? I'M TARA'S MOTHER.
OKAY, COME ON IN. COME ON IN.
OKAY. GREAT.
I UNDERSTAND THAT SHE EATS SIX TIMES A DAY.
MM-HMM.
SO, IF SHE EATS SIX TIMES A DAY AFTER SURGERY, I CAN TELL YOU
NO.
WE NEED TO MAKE THOSE TRANSITIONS NOW
TO HAVE SOME WEIGHT LOSS
AND BE IN BETTER SHAPE FOR SURGERY.
OKAY.
Dr. Nowzaradan: BEFORE WE MOVE AHEAD WITH THE SURGERY,
SHE NEEDS TO LOSE 20 POUNDS OVER THE NEXT MONTH.
TARA'S CONDITION IS CRITICAL,
AND SHE NEEDS A DRASTIC CHANGE NOW.
I THINK, YOU KNOW, SHE'S AT THE POINT --
I DON'T KNOW IF SHE'S GONNA LIVE ANOTHER FIVE YEARS.
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO TRY TO LOSE WEIGHT NOW.
WE GET THE BALL ROLLING, THEN.
OKAY.
THANK YOU.
MM-HMM.
Paula: YOU OKAY?
[ Voice breaking ] THAT WAS LIKE REALITY
JUST SLAPPED ME DEAD IN THE FACE.
COME ON, NOW.
YOU DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW HOW MUCH YOU WEIGHED.
NO, I DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW. I NEVER WANT TO KNOW.
LOOK AT ME. YOU CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
LOSE THE WEIGHT SO THAT YOU CAN HAVE THAT SURGERY.
[ Voice breaking ] I WAS THERE TO SEE Y'ALL GROW UP.
I EXPECT FOR YOU TO BE THERE TO SEE YOUR CHILDREN GROW UP.
I LOVE YOU.
YOU HEAR ME?
YES, MA'AM.
Tara: I KNOW I'M NOT DOING WELL.
[ GRUNTS ]
YOU GOT IT?
YES, MA'AM.
BUT IT'S HARD TO HEAR SOMEONE SAY,
"YOU'RE NOT GONNA LIVE MUCH LONGER."
I'M READY TO CHANGE MY LIFE.
Tara: CHANGE ISN'T EASY.
YOU CAN'T SIT AROUND AND WAIT FOR IT.
YOU WANT SOMETHING, YOU GOT TO GO GET IT.
THIS PAST MONTH, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO DO
WHAT THE DOCTOR SAID,
BUT IT'S REALLY, REALLY HARD TO CHANGE YOUR EATING HABITS.
Paula: FELICITY.
AND CUTTING YOUR DAILY MEALS BY HALF IS HARD...
YOU SEE ALL THIS EMPTY SPACE? THAT'S A SHAME.
[ LAUGHTER ]
...ESPECIALLY WHEN YOUR WHOLE LIFE,
YOU'VE JUST KNOWN TO GO TO FOOD TO MAKE YOU HAPPY.
I PATTED IT AFTER I FRIED IT
TO GET AS MUCH AS I COULD OUT OF IT.
MY MIND'S TELLING ME TO STOP RIGHT NOW, STOP.
BUT MY STOMACH SAYS, "YOU'RE STILL HUNGRY,
SO YOU NEED TO EAT."
TARA, YOU HAD ENOUGH?
[ LAUGHS ]
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAD ENOUGH?
IT'S, LIKE, CLEAN HERE.
HE TOLD YOU IF YOU DON'T HAVE A LIFE CHANGE AND THIS SURGERY,
THE MOST HE SEES YOU LIVING IS FIVE YEARS.
I DON'T HAVE MUCH LONGER TO LIVE IF I KEEP GOING LIKE THIS.
I KNOW I WANT TO BE THERE FOR MY KIDS
MORE THAN I WANT FOOD TO MAKE ME HAPPY.
I CAN'T LEAVE MY CHILDREN THE WAY MY DADDY LEFT ME.
TODAY, I HAVE A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT WITH DR. NOW.
I HOPE EVERYTHING GOES WELL TODAY.
IT'S BEEN A HARD MONTH, BUT I FEEL LIKE I'VE LOST WEIGHT.
AND I FEEL BETTER.
BUT HOPEFULLY I'VE LOST ENOUGH WEIGHT.
Woman: GOOD MORNING.
I'M NERVOUS.
BUT I'M EXCITED TO SEE THE RESULTS.
YEAH, YOUR WEIGHT LOSS HAS NOT BEEN IMPRESSIVE.
SO I THINK YOU CAN DO BETTER.
YES, SIR.
Dr. Nowzaradan: IT'S SOME PROGRESS,
BUT IT'S NOT A WHOLE LOT OF WEIGHT LOSS.
AND HOW IS YOUR ACTIVITY?
LET ME SEE HOW YOU WALK.
[ CHUCKLES ]
IT'S KIND OF HARD TO MOVE ALL THE 500 POUNDS, HUH?
IT'S THIS -- ALL THIS RIGHT HERE THAT HANGS.
LET ME SEE HOW MUCH IT HANGS.
IT HANGS PRETTY LOW.
YOU GOT SOME SORT OF SKIN INFECTION ON THE SKIN, TOO.
OKAY.
Dr. Nowzaradan: TARA IS PHYSICALLY IN CRITICAL CONDITION.
SHE NEEDS INTERVENTION NOW.
I DON'T THINK YOU CAN GO MUCH LONGER LIKE THIS.
YES, SIR.
SO, WE NEED TO MAKE ADJUSTMENT IN YOUR EATING.
WE'RE GONNA ACHIEVE THAT WITH GASTRIC BYPASS SURGERY.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO SCHEDULE YOU FOR SURGERY IMMEDIATELY.
Dr. Nowzaradan: IF I SEND TARA BACK HOME NOW,
I'M AFRAID THAT THIS IS GONNA BE
THE LAST TIME I'M GONNA SEE TARA.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
YES, SIR.
THANK YOU.
Tara: I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT MY SURGERY,
BUT IT'S HAPPENING REALLY, REALLY, REALLY FAST.
I GOT TO BE STRONG.
I KNOW I HAVE TO DO THIS.
Tara: LET'S GO.
THIS IS SCARY FOR ME.
I HAVE NEVER HAD SURGERY LIKE THIS.
MAMA!
HEY!
Tara: FOR A MOM, THIS IS A LOT.
WHAT IF I DON'T WAKE UP?
WE GOT ANOTHER THING TO PUT ON MY HEAD.
[ CHUCKLES ]
MAMA, ARE YOU OKAY?
YEAH, MAMA FINE.
HE WAS WORRIED. HE WANTED TO SEE HIS MAMA.
Tara: MY DAUGHTER UNDERSTANDS HOW RISKY THIS SURGERY IS.
MY SON -- HE'S 6. HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND.
HE JUST THINKS IT'S LIKE A MOVIE, YOU KNOW?
BUT MY DAUGHTER -- SHE KNOWS.
I KNOW.
THAT MAKES YOU MAD, HUH? AND YOU WANT TO FIGHT?
I KNOW.
BUT MOMMY'S GONNA START LOSING SOME WEIGHT.
YOU WON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT NO MORE.
I CAN'T STAND THE FACT THAT HIS CLASSMATES
ALL MAKE FUN OF HIM BECAUSE OF MY SIZE.
I DON'T WANT MY FAT TO BE MY CHILD'S PAIN.
I'M A LITTLE SCARED RIGHT NOW. BUT I AM READY FOR THIS CHANGE.
THIS IS MY LAST CHANCE, AND THERE'S NO TURNING BACK.
Man: I'D LIKE YOU TO TAKE SOME BIG, DEEP BREATHS FOR ME.
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
OKAY.
[ RAPID BEEPING ]
Paula: I HOPE THAT THE SURGERY GOES WELL,
THERE'S NO COMPLICATIONS,
AND TO SEE HER WAKE UP AND ASK FOR HER KIDS AND HER MOM.
[ RAPID BEEPING ]
WHY YOU CRYING?
[ Sobbing ] BECAUSE.
BECAUSE -- BECAUSE WHY?
[ CRYING ]
[ RAPID BEEPING ]
Dr. Nowzaradan: PUSH IT BACK JUST ABOUT AN INCH.
SLEEVE GASTRECTOMY IS A LESSER-INVASIVE PROCEDURE
WHICH REMOVES PART OF STOMACH AND MAKE IT SMALL...
HER SURGERY WAS A LITTLE BIT MORE CHALLENGING
THAN I EXPECTED, BUT EVERYTHING WENT FINE.
I HAD TO MAKE TARA'S INCISION
A LITTLE BIT BIGGER THAN USUAL BECAUSE OF HER SIZE.
AND THIS IS GONNA MAKE HER RECOVERY A LITTLE BIT LONGER.
TARA. YOU IN PAIN?
I GOT TARA ON A LIQUID DIET FOR THE FIRST MONTH AFTER SURGERY.
I THINK IT'S GONNA BE CHALLENGING
FOR TARA TO ADJUST TO,
BUT IT'S GONNA BE SOMETHING THAT SHE NEEDS TO WORK ON.
HEY. GOOD MORNING.
Tara: HELLO. GOOD MORNING.
IT'S GOING DOWN. [ CHUCKLES ]
ALL RIGHT. LET'S LOOK AT YOUR INCISION.
ALL RIGHT. THIS LOOKS GOOD.
[ GROANS ]
OKAY.
HOW LONG WILL I BE IN HERE?
MM...
YOU GET TO GO HOME SATURDAY. HOW IS THAT?
GREAT.
GREAT. SATURDAY'S OUR GOAL TO GO HOME.
YES, IT IS.
ALL RIGHT. LET'S GET YOU WALKING AROUND, OKAY?
YES, SIR.
Dr. Nowzaradan: IT IS VERY IMPORTANT
TO GET THESE PATIENTS MOBILE AND GET THEM MOVING
TO REDUCE THE RISK AND COMPLICATION OF SURGERY.
AAH!
KEEP GOING. KEEP GOING.
[ WHIMPERS ]
IT'S GONNA HURT.
Woman: GOOD JOB.
THIS IS A LOT HARDER THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE.
SLOWLY LOWER YOUR BODY. THERE WE GO.
GREAT JOB.
I HAVE TO PUSH THROUGH THE PAIN.
I HAVE TO GO HOME TO MY KIDS.
RIGHT NOW, I DON'T HAVE THE CRAVINGS,
BUT I KNOW THEY WILL COME BACK,
AND WHEN THEY DO, I'M SCARED I'M GONNA GIVE IN.
I KNOW I HAVE TO STAY STRONG AND STAY FOCUSED,
AND I AM READY TO DO THAT.
I'M NOT GOING BACK.
[ HORN HONKS ]
MWAH!
I MISSED YOU.
Tara: MY FAMILY'S SUCH A SIGHT FOR SORE EYES.
IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME THAT THEY CAME OUT TO GREET ME.
I'M JUST SO GLAD TO BE HOME.
I'M READY TO GET MY LIFE BACK TOGETHER.
YOU WANT SOME?
NO.
[ LAUGHS ]
I'M SUPPOSED TO STAY ON THIS HIGH-PROTEIN, LOW-CARB DIET,
AND SO FAR, IT'S NOT THAT BAD.
GIVE ME A TASTE.
THIS DIET AND MY NEW LIFESTYLE WILL HOPEFULLY MAKE AN IMPACT
ON MY CHILDREN'S LIVES.
I WOULD HATE FOR THEM TO MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES I DID.
GUESS WHAT -- I'M GONNA MAKE A WHIRLPOOL.
IT'S BEEN TOUGH TO STICK TO THE DIET,
BUT I HAVE, AND I KNOW IT'S MAKING A DIFFERENCE...
CANNONBALL!
...BECAUSE I'M ABLE TO DO THINGS I HAVEN'T DONE IN YEARS.
I HAVE NEVER SEEN MY BABY SWIM.
MAMA, LOOK. I CAN DO A --
CANNONBALL!
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT SHE'S GONE OUT THERE
AND WATCHED DARREN SWIM.
ONE, TWO, THREE. HOLD YOUR PANTS OR THEY'LL FALL!
[ LAUGHTER ]
I LIKE THAT DIVE.
HE CAN SWIM UNDERWATER.
Felicity: I WAS HAPPY AND EXCITED.
I WANT HER TO DO MORE STUFF WITH US...
AND ESPECIALLY ME.
I CAN MAKE A TWIRL!
Tara: THIS IS SUCH A WONDERFUL FEELING.
ALL I WANT IS TO BE A PART OF MY BABIES' LIVES
AND TO BE ABLE TO START DOING MORE THINGS WITH THEM.
I HAVE A REAL LONG WAY TO GO, BUT THIS IS A GOOD START.
I'M NERVOUS ABOUT THE APPOINTMENT.
WHEN I STEP ON THE SCALE...
PHYSICALLY, I FEEL GREAT.
TAYLOR?
I'VE BEEN MOVING AROUND A LITTLE MORE...
MAYBE NOT AS MUCH AS THE DOCTOR WOULD LIKE.
BUT HOPEFULLY I'VE LOST SOME WEIGHT.
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT NUMBER?
I'M ANNOYED.
THE NUMBERS WEREN'T WHAT I WANTED IT TO BE.
Paula: HELLO, THERE.
HELLO. HOW ARE Y'ALL DOING?
Tara: GOOD.
HOW'S YOUR DIET AND EVERYTHING COMING ALONG?
I'M STICKING TO MY DIET. I'M DOING WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO.
AND, AMAZINGLY, YOU HAVEN'T LOST ANY WEIGHT IN ONE MONTH.
FIVE POUNDS IN ONE MONTH?
YEAH. I USED TO GAIN 20 POUNDS IN ONE MONTH.
THAT'S -- THAT'S GOOD.
WITH THIS TYPE OF OPERATION,
YOU SHOULD LOSE 20 TO 30 POUNDS A MONTH.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU.
WELL, JUST TELL ME THE TRUTH --
HOW MANY TIMES YOU'RE EATING, HOW MUCH YOU'RE EATING.
I EAT BREAKFAST, AND THEN I EAT SUPPER.
Dr. Nowzaradan: TARA IS OVEREATING,
AND SHE'S NOT BEING TRUTHFUL ABOUT IT.
I WANT TO SEE HOW YOU'RE DOING IN TWO WEEKS.
OKAY.
I'M HOPING THAT SHE WILL LOSE 10 POUNDS NEXT TIME I SEE HER.
TWO WEEKS.
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
[ TARA SNIFFLES ]
[ Voice breaking ] I'M TRYING, DAMN IT.
I'M EVEN MOVING MORE.
LIKE I'M GOING CRAZY, LIKE I'M NOT TRYING.
I'M [BLEEP] TRYING. [ SOBS ]
Tara: ON SOME DAYS,
EFFORT AND STRUGGLE IS YOUR ONLY OPTION FOR SUCCESS.
AT THE LAST DOCTOR'S VISIT,
I DIDN'T HAVE THE WEIGHT LOSS THAT MY DOCTOR WANTED.
I'VE DECIDED I'M READY TO MAKE A CHANGE.
I WANT TO DO WELL,
AND I WANT TO MAKE THE PROGRESS I NEED TO,
SO I'M GONNA START WORKING OUT.
HI, ARE YOU TARA?
YEAH. NICE TO MEET YOU.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
ALL RIGHT, COME ON.
SO, WE'RE GONNA DO
A LITTLE BIT OF AN ASSESSMENT TO SEE WHAT YOUR STRENGTH IS.
COOL.
I'M NERVOUS TO WORK OUT.
FIRST OF ALL, GRAB.
I'M NOT USED TO PHYSICAL ACTIVITY.
LAST ONE. GOOD.
ALL RIGHT. IT IS LIGHT.
I'M GONNA KIND OF SHOW YOU WHAT I WANT.
ONE MORE FOR ME. THEN WE'LL TAKE ANOTHER REST.
Lafaye: TARA'S ONE OF THE LARGEST WOMEN
THAT I'VE EVER WORKED WITH AND TRAINED BEFORE.
SOMEBODY TARA'S SIZE WHO'S NEW TO EXERCISE
HAS A LOT TO OVERCOME.
IT DEPENDS ON HOW COMMITTED SHE IS
TO MAKING A PERMANENT CHANGE TO HOW WELL SHE'LL DO.
AWESOME.
SHE'S DEFINITELY GOT A LONG WAY TO GO,
AND I'M REALLY CONCERNED
ABOUT HOW SHE'S GONNA HANDLE THIS IN THE LONG RUN.
TARA, WHAT IS YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS FOOD?
SINCE SURGERY, WHAT'S BEEN YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH THAT?
FOOD IS THE ENEMY.
FOOD'S THE ENEMY?
THAT'S SOMETHING WE NEED TO CHANGE.
I WOULD LOVE TO HELP YOU
TO MAKE IT ABOUT FUELING YOUR BODY.
WELL, WHEN YOU HAVE CHILDREN, YOU DON'T THINK ABOUT YOURSELF.
THEY SAY, "MOM, I'M HUNGRY." "OKAY, WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
YOU HAVE TO MAKE THE DECISION THAT THIS SURGERY,
WHICH IS A BIG DEAL,
CHANGED YOUR LIFE ENOUGH THAT YOU MATTER.
AND WE'LL GET THERE.
IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN OVERNIGHT.
YOU MATTER IN THIS.
[ SOBBING ]
IT'S HARD WHEN YOU HAVEN'T PUT YOURSELF FIRST.
AND YOU'RE RIGHT -- OUR KIDS HAVE TO COME FIRST.
WHEN YOU ARE YOUR HEALTHIEST,
YOU WILL TAKE BETTER CARE OF THEM,
AND THEY WILL BE HEALTHY, TOO.
BUT YOU WILL BE SO MUCH BETTER FOR THEM WHEN YOU MATTER, TOO.
SHE DOESN'T FEEL THAT SHE MATTERS,
AND IT'S VERY HARD FOR HER TO TAKE CENTER STAGE.
Tara: I DIDN'T REALIZE NOW IT'S TIME FOR ME TO TAKE CARE OF ME
AND MAKE SURE I GET MYSELF RIGHT.
YOU GONNA PUT THIS IN THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT FOR ME...
YEAH.
...SINCE YOU'RE GOING ON THAT SIDE?
TODAY, WE'RE GOING SHOPPING FOR THE KIDS.
I'M NOT GOING IN THERE FOR JUST, LIKE, ONE ITEM.
AND IT'S GONNA BE AISLE TO AISLE TO AISLE,
AND THEN I CAN'T WALK IT.
MY TRAINER TOLD ME TO WALK MORE AND STAY ACTIVE,
AND I'M REALLY TRYING...
COME ON, BABY.
...BUT I STILL NEED TO USE MY SCOOTER.
MY KNEES HAVE BEEN BOTHERING ME.
I CAN HARDLY WALK.
I WORK OUT AT THE GYM,
AND I'M ALWAYS WALKING AROUND THE HOUSE.
I'M NOT USED TO MOVING AROUND SO MUCH.
I'M NOT READY FOR IT.
I CAN'T CHANGE OVERNIGHT.
FOUR...TWO...FIVE. START.
THEY'RE BIGGER, AND THEY'RE PRETTIER.
CHANGING SOMETHING LIKE MY EATING HABITS
IS NEVER GONNA BE EASY
BECAUSE I'M USED TO DOING WHAT I KNOW.
I MAY CHEAT A LITTLE BIT HERE AND THERE,
BUT I'M REALLY TRYING.
IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT WHEN MY STOMACH SAYS I'M DONE.
IT'S ABOUT WHEN MY HEAD SAYS I'M DONE.
SO IT'S HARD TO STOP.
CHANGING SOMETHING LIKE EATING HABITS
IS JUST REALLY, REALLY HARD.
TODAY, I'M AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE.
I HOPE I'VE LOST THE WEIGHT MY DOCTOR WANTED
AND GET APPROVED FOR SKIN SURGERY.
Dr. Nowzaradan: YOU HAVEN'T LOST ANY WEIGHT.
BUT I'M DOING THINGS I'M SUPPOSED TO.
I EVEN WALKED THE WHOLE -- A WHOLE DEPARTMENT STORE.
YOU'RE STILL EATING TOO MANY CALORIES FOR YOUR METABOLISM.
THAT'S WHY YOU'RE NOT LOSING WEIGHT.
YOU CAN PREACH AND PREACH AND PREACH.
I DON'T EAT NOTHING I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO.
THINGS I USED TO EAT, I DON'T EAT ANYMORE.
Dr. Nowzaradan: IF THE PATIENT DOESN'T WANT TO CHANGE,
THEY WILL CONVINCE THEMSELF
THAT THEY ARE NOT EATING VERY MUCH.
MOST OF THESE PATIENTS ARE PATHOLOGICAL EATERS,
AND THEY LIE TO YOU.
BUT THE REALITY IS, TO MAINTAIN SUCH A HIGH WEIGHT,
THEY HAVE TO EAT A LOT.
WE WERE LOOKING FORWARD TO HAVING HER STOMACH REMOVED.
WE CAN'T REMOVE THE SKIN IF SHE DOESN'T
LOSE THE WEIGHT FIRST.
IF TARA HASN'T LOST ANY WEIGHT NEXT TIME SHE'S HERE,
I'M AFRAID THAT'S GONNA BE THE END OF HER WEIGHT LOSS.
TARA, WE NEED TO GET YOU BACK ON TRACK NOW.
IF YOU CAN'T, THERE'S NOTHING MORE I CAN DO FOR YOU.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT HE TOLD YOU?
[ Voice breaking ] YES, I UNDERSTAND.
I'M GONNA [BLEEP] STARVE MYSELF FOR TWO WEEKS
TO MAKE EVERYBODY [BLEEP] HAPPY.
I'M DONE WITH THIS! I-I QUIT! I'M DONE!
[BLEEP] THIS!
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
MY [BLEEP] HOUSE.
Tara: A STRUGGLE CAN GET YOU NOWHERE...
UNTIL YOU DISCOVER YOU'RE ONLY STRUGGLING WITH YOURSELF.
AT FIRST, IT REALLY UPSET ME WHAT THE DOCTOR WAS SAYING,
BUT THEN I REALIZED WHAT HE WAS SAYING WAS TRUE.
I GOT TO STOP LYING TO MYSELF.
HEY. HOW YOU DOING?
I'M GOOD.
I LIKE TO GIVE LOTS OF HUGS TODAY.
YES.
I WANT TO ASK YOU
BEFORE WE GET STARTED, WHERE THE HECK HAVE YOU BEEN?
WHEN I DON'T SEE YOU FOR WEEKS ON END, IT --
WE'RE STARTING OVER.
THIS IS ALMOST LIKE THIS IS OUR FIRST SESSION.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW THE DOCTOR?
THE LAST TIME I SAW THE DOCTOR, IT WAS NOT CUTE.
HE WAS FUSSING, TELLING ME I'M NOT LOSING ENOUGH WEIGHT.
WELL, YOU AREN'T.
THEN HE'S LIKE --
THERE'S TRUTH IN THAT.
ON HIS SCALES, YOU OBVIOUSLY HADN'T LOST
THE WEIGHT HE EXPECTED YOU TO LOSE.
THIS IS NOT GONNA BE A CAKEWALK.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE COMFORTABLE AT EVERY MOMENT,
BUT YOU HAVE TO SHOW UP.
MM-HMM.
OKAY? I CAN HANDLE TRUE TARA.
YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO SHOW HER TO ME.
SHUT UP, AND LET'S GO WORK OUT?
[ LAUGHS ] THAT'S FINE WITH ME.
LET'S GO.
[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]
MY STOMACH IS IN THE WAY. [BLEEP]
IT'S GOING TO GET EASIER.
AWESOME.
STEP THROUGH IT.
WHENEVER YOU'RE READY.
IT'S TIME FOR ME TO STOP MAKING EXCUSES
AND START CHANGING FOR REAL.
THAT'S 30 SECONDS.
I HAVE TO PUSH MYSELF. I HAVE TO DO THIS.
GOOD DEAL.
[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]
I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES, NO MATTER HOW DIFFICULT,
TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD AND TO MAKE PROGRESS.
GET THE FRUSTRATIONS OUT. IT FEELS GOOD, ALL RIGHT?
WHENEVER YOU'RE READY.
FIVE...FOUR...THREE...
TWO...ONE. BOOM!
Lafaye: I'M IMPRESSED WITH TARA.
SHE SHOWED UP TODAY. SHE DID THE WORK.
I HAVE FAITH IN HER.
SHE'S GONNA HAVE TO COMMIT TO MAKING A CHANGE
AND STICKING TO IT IF THIS IS GONNA WORK.
I KNOW SHE CAN DO IT.
Tara: TODAY, WE'RE GOING SHOPPING FOR SOME GROCERIES.
LAST TIME I WENT SHOPPING, I HAD TO USE THE CART
'CAUSE I COULDN'T WALK THAT FAR.
BUT THIS TIME, I DON'T NEED THE SCOOTER.
I'M GONNA WALK.
IT'S TIME FOR ME TO STOP MAKING UP EXCUSES.
I NEED TO CHANGE IF I WANT TO LIVE.
BEFORE I HAD MY SURGERY,
I COULD EAT LIKE THREE OR FOUR OF THESE TV DINNERS.
I DON'T EVEN EAT THAT ANYMORE.
MISSING OUT ON THE FOOD THAT I CAN'T HAVE
DOESN'T MAKE ME SAD.
ARE YOU PROUD OF MY WALKING AND STUFF?
HIGH FIVE! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
I'M PROUD OF YOU BECAUSE WE'RE BOTH TAYLORS!
AND WE BOTH CAN WALK THE STORE.
YEAH, BABY!
AH, COME ON, BABY.
NO ICE CREAM. MNH-MNH, MNH-MNH.
I CAN'T HAVE. YOU CAN'T HAVE.
MOVE IT. MOVE IT.
IT FEELS GOOD TO BE ABLE TO GO TO THE STORE.
NEED A HAND BRINGING IT OUT?
OH, NO, I GOT MY KIDS. THANK YOU, THOUGH.
COME ON, DEE.
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A LONG WHILE,
I KNOW I CAN DO THIS.
I CAN'T WAIT TO SHOW THE DOCTOR HOW MUCH WEIGHT I'VE LOST.
AND THIS TIME, I KNOW I'VE MADE PROGRESS.
THESE PAST COUPLE OF MONTHS,
I'VE REALLY PUSHED MYSELF TO THE LIMIT.
I HOPE THAT'S ENOUGH TO GET THE APPROVAL
FOR MY SKIN SURGERY.
HI, DR. NOW.
YOU LOST A LOT OF WEIGHT.
I'M PROUD OF YOU STICKING TO THE PROGRAM.
Dr. Nowzaradan: TARA IS MAKING PROGRESS NOW.
I WAS WORRIED ABOUT HER LAST VISIT,
BUT SHE'S TURNING THE CORNER NOW.
IF WE GO AHEAD AND DO SKIN SURGERY,
THAT MAY INCREASE YOUR ACTIVITY
SO YOU'RE GONNA BE ABLE TO LOSE MORE WEIGHT.
YOU SERIOUS? LIKE, FOR REAL?
YEAH.
I WOULD KISS YOU, BUT YOUR WIFE MIGHT GET MAD.
[ CHUCKLES ]
NOW I'M GONNA DO THE HAPPY JIG.
[ LAUGHS ] I'M JUST HAPPY.
I'M VERY HAPPY WITH HER PROGRESS.
YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!
Tara: I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GETTING MY SKIN SURGERY.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
Tara: [ Voice breaking ] IT'S A REALLY BIG SURGERY.
AND I'M NERVOUS I MIGHT NOT EVEN WAKE UP THIS TIME.
Paula: IT'S A BIG SURGERY,
BUT IT'S GONNA BE BETTER FOR YOU AND ESPECIALLY FOR YOUR KIDS.
EVERYTHING WILL GO FINE.
JUST WANT YOU TO TAKE SOME NICE, SLOW DEEP BREATHS FOR ME.
IN AND OUT.
I'M JUST REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY NERVOUS.
Dr. Nowzaradan: LET ME HAVE A KNIFE.
ALL RIGHT. WE ARE DONE WITH TARA'S OPERATION.
TWO...THREE.
Tara: IF YOU CANNOT BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE,
THEN ANY SORT OF TRANSFORMATION WILL NOT HAPPEN.
Lafaye: 10 MORE. COME ON.
10...9 -- HARDER!
HARDER. COME ON.
IT'S HARD FOR ME TO GO OUT WHILE I'M RECOVERING FROM SURGERY.
BUT LESLIE'S WILLING TO COME HERE AND TRAIN WITH ME.
LET'S GO. HIT ME.
THE NEW ME ACTUALLY LIKES WORKING OUT.
I LOOK FORWARD TO IT.
I WANT YOU TO GO AS FAST AS YOU CAN WITHOUT IT CAUSING PAIN.
I WANT TO KEEP PUSHING MYSELF TO KEEP MAKING PROGRESS.
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU TRYING AND PUSHING YOURSELF.
[ Voice breaking ] I'VE COME SO FAR, YOU KNOW?
AND I STILL HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO.
I KNOW NOTHING HAPPENS OVERNIGHT,
BUT I'M JUST READY TO BOUNCE BACK IN THE WORLD, STOMACH-FREE.
I'M NEVER GONNA GIVE UP.
THE DOCTOR'S SCALE USED TO SCARE THE HECK OUT OF ME,
BUT TODAY, I CAN'T WAIT TO GET ON IT.
[ CHUCKLES ]
Dr. Nowzaradan: 610 TO 320.
YOU'RE ALMOST A HALF OF THE WEIGHT THAT YOU USED TO BE, HUH?
THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
YOU TURNED MY LIFE AROUND. THANK YOU.
I APPRECIATE IT.
Dr. Nowzaradan: I'M PROUD OF TARA -- HOW FAR SHE HAS COME,
AND SHE'S DOING GREAT.
LET'S GO.
Tara: A YEAR AGO, I WAS AT THE LOWEST POINT OF MY LIFE.
I WILL NEVER FORGET WHO THAT 600-POUND PERSON WAS.
[ Voice breaking ] I WILL ALWAYS LOVE HER...
I HAVE A WORLD OF POSSIBILITIES.
I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO START LIVING MY LIFE.
NOW DINNERTIME IS NOT WHAT MY MOM IS GONNA MAKE.
IT'S WHAT WE'RE ALL GONNA DO TOGETHER.
NOT LONG AGO, I WAS WHEELING INTO THE KITCHEN,
MAKING NOTHING BUT STARCH AND CALORIES.
I NEED TO PUT SOME SALT.
I'M GONNA PUT A LITTLE SEASONING ON IT FOR HIM.
NOWADAYS, THE FOOD IS DIFFERENT,
AND I'M NOT WAITING IN BED TO EAT IT.
BUT WITH ALL THIS CHANGE, ONE THING IS STILL THE SAME --
WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER,
AND THAT ALONE IS THE REASON WHY MY WHOLE NEW LIFE IS GONNA WORK.
Darren: MM-HMM.
READY...SET...GO!
I'M NOT USED TO MOVING AROUND SO MUCH.
I HAVE NEVER HELPED MY SON GET READY FOR SCHOOL.
ONE DAY, HE WON'T WANT HIS MAMA HELPING HIM IN THE MORNING,
SO I WANT TO DO IT WHILE I CAN.
I KNOW NOW I CAN ACTUALLY BE A PART OF HIS LIFE...
BE GOOD, OKAY?
...AND SUPPORT HIM.
BLOW ME A KISS BYE!
WHOO! THANK YOU!
IT FEELS LIKE A NEW LIFE
TO BE ABLE TO BE WITH MY CHILDREN A WHOLE LOT MORE --
PARTICIPATE, TO BE WITH THEM.
I CAN BE A BETTER MOM.
I CAN'T IMAGINE EVER GOING BACK.