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so
good afternoon everyone
I will be a little bit more brief
than the people who spoke before me, perhaps I don't have so many new things
to say about this subject
I can tell you, some weeks ago, when I was asked to be here today
to make this small intervention
to put together the problems of youths
precariousness
and emigration
my reaction was the one that is becoming frequent in
these situations
I am a youth?
Why the hell would they call me that?
it's true that as I grew up
understood that the notion of "young" was extending.
First, you can use the Youth Card until you are 30 years old
When I was 15, if someone said you were still a youth at 30,
I would laugh
Then, the idea that the Bachelor degree means nothing without a master's degree,
without a Phd
and after all that it still isn't enough without a huge amount of unpaid internships
because you never get enough experience
and because after all, being in our parent's house feels really good
When I was 15
if I thought that I would have to wait until 24 to have my own space to live...I would laugh
And today, at 36 years old
I see that many of my friends have never had their own space
Others, have lost their place
That's right, but I am 36 years old
a "youth". Hmm..
and we were mocking those 40 year old "young people" working in farms
I started thinking of all this, and the cauldron started looking more
confused. I found myself looking over this cauldron
and trying to see our reflection in it
Life's toughness
and the precariousness made
our parents and our grandparents adults ahead of time.
men who were never boys
girls as if they were already born as women
adults who were 9, 10, 11 years old
working from dawn to dusk, in the kitchens of rich families
like my mother
before she turned 18 and went away to France
Or the adults who were 9,10,11 years old, who came alone from Alentejo
and alone opened the doors to cafes at dawn
and eating one sandwich a day
like my father did
By the time he was 15
he thought he might die of tuberculosis, before even
realizing that me or my sister would ever exist
This was the reality
that gave me the safety net
that holds me up today so often
It substitutes the net that the state denies me more each day
the inheritance from small commerce, built by men who never got to be boys,
& by girls who were born women
served exactly this purpose:
to secure us.
so that we wouldn't have to go backwards
so that we lived better
so that we lived at all
I was born only after the revolution
My father was a 37 year old youngster
and he refused to have kids in a dictatorship
I am from the year of the constitution
And when I was born, that 37 year old young man
was a complete adult
he was so sure that the recently conquered democracy
would spare me of his experience growing up
He gave me food, thought
he gave me school and health, art
books
& freedom
& taught me to sing "it's the people who command the most" (grandola, vila morena)
that by the end of the road we would be holding hands. (applause)
I also
thought we could never go back.
but today what i understand
is that which made my father an adult
is that which stops me from being one:
Precariousness and the lack of horizons
A state that refuses to give what
it owes me
A social security that instead of catching me when I fall, chases me
it sucks from me such an extremely high contribution, just to deny me
sick leave, maternity leave. and unemployment benefits
I worked nearly a decade in the national theatre
a state theatre, which is now a public company
with precarious work contracts
The contributions for social security were totally my responsibility
Constant contributions
without any time of bonus
and taking into account
my job
I was privileged
I had a relatively good income for a good period of time
even with the completely irregular schedules, even with the lacking rights
I gave my scalp and my hair
like my father would do before me
And when i left, as happened with my father when he decided he had enough of
bosses
I left without anything
well, I left with good memories, with a lot of inner life
& with a resume, in this moment with art & culture discarded,
isn't worth much
I didn't leave with anything else besides this
I pay 20 euros for a hospital emergency
& i don't have any exceptions of retirement
with even minimum dignity
I want to be a mother but have no idea how I will be able to do that
I want to work
& they don't let me
Still, I do a few jobs so that I pay the bills
& even like this
as it is today
I feel privileged
a privileged "youth"
& if I am a youth, I ask:
what do we know,
when there's one in every 2 youths, that don't emigrate,
are at this moment unemployed
Youths of what ages?
I have many friends who've already left the country
or who are about to leave
Friends who went away to complete their education & some who want to come back
but who are unable to
others return, against everything and against all odds
to be able to build for themselves a stable rich life,
a better life than their parents
& again I look around & I am privileged.
I continue to eat each day
I still have a roof over my head
& still get work (precarious contracts)
despite it getting increasingly more difficult to do so
but I go on
15 years after starting to work
is this what is it is to be an entrepreneur?
I should fell happy, since
I should feel useful in this old system full of
plastic surgeries
My life is made of working for the same old companies without
any commitment,
& without the attention from the state
that is necessary in my line of work, & while in France -which is far from being a paradise-
this (social safety net for artists) isn't even a matter of dicussion
it isn't a state privilege
it creates a safety net, that's true
but it establishes duties, educational goals, projects for communities
constant activity even when there is not a show in exhibition
I am dependent on benefits
even though my profession offers a services guaranteed by the constitution,
& that the state doesn't support in reality, the state delegates to me
& my colleagues.
benefits
these that I'm supposedly dependent on,
I never saw them
not for christmas
not for vacation, not for unemployment
not for sickness.
Not me, who am naturally intermittent in work
nor the great majority of my generation, nor the generations that came before
or after my generation.
they have strict schedules, strict functions, strict hierarchies
a permanent place of work
do they have any safety net?
only that same one constructed by the hard life of my mother who was born
already as a woman
by the unmeasurable effort of my father
who never got to be a boy
& it was this that I understood
preparing this speech:
That which prevented my parents from being young
is that which binds me to the label:
"youth"
it's type of inverted mirror.
I don't know if it's enough to go through it, like Alice did
One day we really are going to have to break it. Thank you.