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>>> WELCOME TO "RED EYE."
I'M ANDY LEVY FILLING IN FOR
GREG GUTFELD WHO IS ON A BEACH
COMPLAINING.
LET'S GO TO THE CURRENT
PRESIDENT OF DILIGENCE, MIKE
BAKER FOR OUR PRE GAME
REPORT.
DILIGENCE, WHEN THEY
ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY HAVE TO
BE DEAD OVERNIGHT.
WHAT IS COMING UP ON TONIGHT'S
SHOW?
>> THANK YOU, ANDY.
YOU MAY NOT BELIEVE IN
ASTROLOGY.
BUT IF SEVERAL UH STROLL GISTS
GET TOGETHER AND THEY AGREE
THAT THE STARS ARE LINING UP
FOR OBAMA IN NOVEMBER, IS
THERE ANY NEED TO GET OUT AND
VOTE?
NO.
AND NOW THAT MITT ROMNEY HAS
CAPTURED THE REPUBLICAN
NOMINATION, DOES HE HAVE PLANS
FOR A FOLLOW-UP ACT?
FINALLY, IF YOU COULD VOTE AND
YOU CAN WEAR A MILITARY
UNIFORM AT 18, WHAT IS UP WITH
THE 21 YEAR DRINKING AGE?
WE WILL TRY TO FIND SOMEONE ON
THE SHOW MATURE ENOUGH TO TALK
ABOUT THIS.
ALL OF THAT AND CHARTS, BUT
NOT TOO MANY CHARTS COMING UP
ON THE BIG SHOW.
>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT TOO
MANY CHARTS?
>> NEWS CORPORATION TALKED TO
ME ABOUT THIS.
>> IS THAT RIGHT?
>> LET'S WELCOME OUR GUEST.
SHE IS SO CUTE PUNCTUATIONY --
*** BREWSTER WEARS A
JEDEDIAH BILA T-SHIRT.
AND "MAXIM" MAGAZINE'S
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF.
AND BILL SCHULZ WHO THINKS HE
IS IN GOT THEM CITY RISING UP
AGAINST BAINE.
AND LOOK IT IS ANTHONY CUMEA,
CO-HOST OF THE "OPI EXPE
ANTHONY -- AND AN THON NAY
SHOW."
>> TODAY IN SCIENCE THE
JENNETTE TAU CYSTS SEQUENCED
THE GENOME IN THE HOPE OF
BREEDING BETTER SPECIMENS AND
FOUND THAT IT IS 30,000 GENES
VERSUS 30,000 IN A HUMAN
BEING.
WHICH BEGS THE QUESTION, WHO
CARES?
AND FURTHERMORE, WHY DO WE DO
THIS STORY TO BEGIN WITH?
NEVER MIND.
>> EVERYTHING YOU SAY BEGS THE
QUESTION, WHO CARES?
I'M TALKING TO BOTH OF YOU.
>> MAKING FUN OF AN INADD MET
-- AN INADD DO MET OBJECT.
WHY GO THROUGH THE PACES?
MITT ROMNEY MAY HAVE
OFFICIALLY CLINCHED THE GOP
NOMINATION.
APPARENTLY THE ELECTION IS
ALREADY OVER.
ACCORDING TO A VOLUME GIST,
THE SKIES PREDICT AN OBAMA
REPRIZE.
FIVE STAR STARGAZERS ASSESS
THE OPPONENT AND SAY BARAK
WILL BE BACK.
FOR YOU KNOW NOTHINGS, THAT'S
WHEN THE SUN ENTERS THE SIGN
OF AIR REECE.
THAT CLINCHES THE DECISION.
SHE SAYS, QUOTE, IT IS OBVIOUS
OBAMA STAYS WHERE IT IS
WITHOUT A CHANGE IN STATUS.
YOU KNOW WHO IS NOT STAYING
WHERE HE IS?
NO UH STROLL GIST PREDICTED
THAT.
ANTHONY, WELCOME TO THE SHOW.
>> HI, SIR.
>> SHOULD ROMNEY JUST ABANDON
HIS CAMPAIGN?
IT IS OVER, RIGHT?
>> YES, I GUESS SO.
IT IS A GREAT SURPRISE THAT
LIBERAL SPACE CADETS WOULD
THINK OBAMA WOULD PUT THIS ONE
AWAY.
I HAVE MY OWN CHART TO LOOK
AT.
MY DOLLAR IS IN RETRO GRADE,
AND THE MOON IS IN THE SEVENTH
HOUSE ALONG WITH ITS MORTGAGE
THAT IS ON THE WATER.
>> YOUR CHART SAYS ROMNEY?
>> MY CHART SAYS ROMNEY.
>> YOU NEED TO GET TO THE
CONVENTION AND STRAIGHTEN IT
OUT.
>> JEDEDIAH, ARE YOU A WOMAN
AND PROBABLY BELIEVE IN
ASTROLOGY.
>> SOMETIMES I PLAN MY LIFE
AROUND IT.
WHEN THERE ARE CONFLICTING
MESSAGES, THAT'S NOT GOOD FOR
MY KARMA.
>> BUT THESE PEOPLE AGREE.
>> THAT'S TRUE.
AND IN 2008 THEY HELD ONE OF
THESE AND THEY SAID OBAMA
WOULD WIN.
OBVIOUSLY THEY MUST BE RIGHT.
IS THERE ANYTHING ROMNEY CAN
DO TO CHANGE THIS?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE HE CAN SCHMOOZ UH
ASTROLOGERS.
OBAMA MIGHT WIN.
LET'S FACE IT.
THAT'S A REALITY THAT MIGHT
HAPPEN.
>> WE WILL NEED YOU TO LEAVE
THE SET.
>> ESCORT ME OUT.
>> LIKE IT IS NOT BAD ENOUGH
THAT THE MEDIA IS IN THE TANK
FOR OBAMA, BUT NOW THE
ASTROLOGERS ARE TOO?
>> IT IS UNBELIEVABLE.
BUT I ONLY BELIEVE IN ANCIENT
RELIGIONS LIKE SIGH YEN TOLL
GEE THAT SAYS I WILL BE
PRESIDENT.
>> REALLY?
>> IN YOUR DREAMS.
>> AND THEY ARE CORRECT.
>> IT IS GETTING HOT IN HERE,
BOYS.
>> BILL, YOUR HOUR ROW SCOPE
PREDICTS YOUR DEATH USUALLY IN
A DITCH PRETTY MUCH DAILY.
HOW HAVE YOU MANAGED TO
PERSEVERE AND CAN YOU PLEASE
STOP?
>> YOU ARE SO BEING A LEO
RIGHT NOW.
LOOK AT THAT.
LOOK AT YOURSELF.
>> YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS BEING
A LEO RIGHT NOW?
YOU.
>> WE BOTH ARE MR. SHARED
BIRTHDAYS.
I WOULD SAY THIS MAKES ME
SAD.
I WANT OBAMA TO WIN, AND THESE
FREAK SHOWS ARE SAYING HE IS
GOING TO AND THE REVERSE WILL
PROBABLY HAPPEN.
AS MY OLD UNCLE JOE USED TO
SAY, YOU CAN'T SPELL
ASTROLOGER WITHOUT AN AS.
ROMNEY HAS A NEW IPHONE APP.
CAN WE PUT UP THE SCREEN?
THEY MISSPELLED AMERICA THEY
HAVE NOW CORRECTED IT WITH AN
UPDATE.
ON A SCALE OF ONE TO AWESOME
HOW GREAT IS THIS?
>> AMAZINGLY AWESOME.
I AM SURPRISED ANYBODY SAW IT
THOUGH.
I THOUGHT THIS WAS PROBABLY
ONE DOWNLOAD UNDER BOILING
WATER SIMULATOR.
>> YOU GET DIFFERENT WATERS.
>> AND YOU CAN SIMMER.
>> IT IS ONLY $1.99.
>> NOT BAD.
>> LOOK AT WHAT THAT APP IS
SAYING.
THAT'S THE PREF PHYSICIAN.
P RE FICE.
>> A BETTER AMERICA IS AMERICIA.
>> I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY
IT.
>> AMERCIA SOUNDS LIKE A TOWN
IN MIDDLE EARTH.
>> OR SOMETHING YOU WOULD SAY
IF ARE YOU BALDING YOU PUT
AMERCIA ON THERE.
>> IT IS ALL PART OF THE
MORMON AGENDA.
HE REVERSED THE LETTERS AND
NEXT HE WILL REVERSE THE
POLYGAMY LAWS.
IT WILL HAPPEN.
>> I DON'T THINK THEY BELIEVE
IN THAT ANYMORE.
THEY LIKE BLACK PEOPLE NOW
TOO.
>> DO YOU EVER WONDER HOW THAT
STUFF HAPPENS?
HOW MANY LOOKED AT THAT AND
DIDN'T NOTICE THAT AMERICA WAS
SPELLED WRONG?
>> ANYONE WHO WORKS IN TV
WHERE YOU HAVE THE MAGAZINES
YOU KNOW TYPOS HAPPEN AND
MISSPELLINGS HAPPEN.
BUT MAYBE GET THE NAME OF THE
COUNTRY YOU WANT TO LEAD.
>> MAYBE HE DOESN'T WANT TO
LEAD AMERICA.
>> IT IS AMERICIA.
>> IT COULD BE THAT HE KNOWS
OBAMA IS GOING TO WIN THE
PRESIDENCY OF AMERICA THANKS
TO THE ASTROLOGERS.
SO HE WILL BE PRESIDENT.
>> OR MAYBE THIS IS HIS
VERSION OF HOPE AND CHANGE.
CHANGE THE NAME, BRING SOME
HOPE.
COULD BE.
>> I HAVE ONE MORE QUESTION
FOR YOU, JEDEDIAH.
ROMNEY CLINCH EDS THE GOP --
CLINCHED THE GOP NOMINATION ON
TUESDAY.
WILL I GET AN GRAY LETTER PRZ
RON PAUL -- ANGRY LETTERS FROM
RON PAUL SUPPORTERS?
>> HAVE I BEEN SENDING NEWT
GINGRICH CHECKS FOR THE PAST
TWO MONTHS.
>> YOU COULD USE THEM SO DON'T
STOP.
>> IT DOES SEEM LIKE YEARS AGO
WE WERE RALLYING AROUND THE
LUNCH.
>> WHO?
>> IT SEEMED TO BE SOME GUY
WHO WAS RUNNING FOR THE
PUBLICAN CANDIDACY.
>> IT IS WRITTEN RIGHT THERE.
>> HOPEFULLY MIKE BAKER WILL
BE ABLE TO SPELL IT.
>>> FROM ASTROLOGY TO
ADULTHOOD.
HOW SHOULD WE GAUGE WHEN KIDS
COME TO AGE?
MANY GRADUATING HIGH SCHOOL
SENIORS HAVE BEEN DRIVING
SINCE THEY WERE 16 AND THOSE
WHO TURNED 18 ARE NO LONGER
CONSIDERED MINORS MEANING THEY
CAN VOTE WHEN THEY ARE IN THE
MILITARY.
SO THE WEBSITE ASKS, IS IT
TIME TO RETHINK THE AGE OF
ADULTHOOD?
DO THE AGE REQUIREMENTS NEED
TO BE LOWERED OR RAISED THIS
SHOULDN'T THEY BEACON SIS
ASSISTANT 1234*
SURGEON WEIGHS IN AS THEY
OFTEN DO NOTING THAT DIFFERENT
BRAIN REGIONS MATURE AT
DIFFERENT PACES.
THOSE INVOLVED IN
SELF-REGULATION DEVELOPING
INTO YOUNG ADULTHOOD.
AND ANYWAY THE WRITER OBSERVES
THAT THEY ARE DRAWN FOR
POLITICAL REASONS AND NOT SIGN
ISK IT ONES.
ISN'T THAT RIGHT GOLD LOVING
TODDLER?
>> I HOPE HE NEVER GROWS OLD.
I DON'T MEAN THAT IN A BAD
WAY.
>> I HOPE HE LIVES A LONG,
HEALTHY LIFE IS WHAT I MEANT.
>> JEDEDIAH, SHOULD WE RETHINK
THE AGE OF ADULTHOOD OR
REALIZE WHY WE SET DIFFERENT
AGES FOR DIFFERENT THINGS?
>> I WOULD SAY YES, BUT I FEEL
LIKE THE WHOLE THING IS
SUBJECTIVE.
WHAT DEFINES ADULTHOOD FOR
ME?
THAT MAY BE DIFFERENT FOR
YOU.
IT IS VERY PERSONAL.
ONE PERSON'S GROWTH IS
DIFFERENT FROM ANOTHER.
I FEEL ALL THE TIME LIKE SOME
GUY BEHIND THE DESK PICKS THE
AGES FOR DIFFERENT THINGS.
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU WOULD
MAKE THAT EVEN.
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE THAT MAKE
SENSE FOR EVERYONE?
>> IT IS A GOOD QUESTION.
THE DUTCH IN FINLAND ALLOWS TO
LET CHILDREN DRINK WHEN THEY
ARE 18.
AND DRIVE WHEN THEY ARE 19.
ISN'T DRIVING A BIGGER
RESPONSIBILITY THAN DRINKING?
>> YES.
AND A PERSON SHOULD BE
DECLARED AN ADULT WHEN THEY
GROW BACK HAIR.
FOR ME THAT WAS AT AGE NINE.
>> WHAT IF YOU NEVER GROW BACK
HAIR?
>> THEN YOU ARE NEVER A MAN.
>> THIS IS ACTUALLY TRUE.
WHEN HE WAS IN UTERO HIS MOM
WAS BITTEN BY A MONKEY.
SOMETHING TO BE SAID RIGHT
THERE.
AND HE HAS A TAIL.
>> YOU SAID WE SHOULD LOWER
THE DRINKING AGE TO 16, BUT
RAISE THE VOTING AGE TO 35.
>> I THINK PEOPLE ARE A LITTLE
MAURY RESPONSIBLE -- MORE
RESPONSIBLE.
>> YOU ALWAYS USE THAT --
EVERYBODY USES THAT WHOLE
THING, YOU CAN GO TO WAR, BUT
YOU CAN'T DRINK UNTIL THEY GET
TO 21.
YOU CAN GO TO WAR AT 18.
>> I HAVE NEVER HEARD THAT.
>> MY EITHER.
I JUST MADE IT UP.
DO YOU LIKE THAT?
>> YOU SHOULD TWEET IT.
>> I THINK THERE ARE PEOPLE
MATURE AT 18 AND PEOPLE WHO
ARE DOPES AT 18.
IT IS HARD TO LEGISLATE.
IT IS SO SUBJECTIVE.
SCRAP EVERYTHING AND MAKE IT
16 AND EVERYTHING GOES.
>> YOU MEAN EVERYTHING?
I LIKE IT.
>> INCLUDING VOTING?
>> VOTING TOO.
I DON'T EVEN CARE.
>> IT IS TRUE.
VOTING IS A SHAM.
>> HI, I AM CHRIS HANSON.
IS THAT ZIMA YOU HAVE?
>> CASES OF MIKE'S HARD
LEMONADE.
BILL, YOU ARE 36 AND BASICALLY
STILL A CHILD.
>> THAT'S NOT A QUESTION.
COMING UP, EVERYBODY'S BRAIN
DEVELOPS DIFFERENT TIMES AND
IN DIFFERENT I WHATS.
IF THAT'S THE CASE WHY DON'T
WE HAVE COGNITIVE TESTS
DEVELOPED BY EXPERTS IN THAT
FIELD THAT WILL DETERMINE
WHETHER AN INDIVIDUAL IS
RATIONAL ENOUGH TO DRIVE, TO
DRINK, TO WATCH BASIC
INSTINCT.
WHY CAN'T IT BE DIFFERENT FOR
EVERY SINGLE PERSON?
YOU KNOW WHY BECAUSE
EVERYTHING SUCKS.
I AM OLD AND PESSIMIST.
>> AND ALSO BECAUSE YOU WOULD
CHEAT ON ALL OF THE TESTS.
>> I AM NOT SMART ENOUGH TO
CHEAT, MADAM.
>> YOU CHEATED OFF ME ONCE.
>> WOULDN'T ALL OF THESE TESTS
IN BILL'S FANTASY LAND,
WOULDN'T THEY BE RUN BY
LIBERALS AND PSYCHIATRISTS.
>> THEY ARE RUN BY THE SAME
GUY BEES HIND THE DESKS.
>> DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE COST
OF AN ADULT LICENSE WOULD BE?
>> NONE OF US WOULD HAVE ONE.
>> I'M SORRY I HEARD YOU SAY
THAT, THAT, THAT.
>> ANTHONY IN MOST STATES YOU
HAVE TO BE 18 TO BUY A LONG
GUN AND 21 TO BE A HANDGUN.
IS THAT FAIR?
>> NO, I REMEMBER MY DAD -- MY
DEAR OLD DAD BUYING ME A
PISTOL AT 13.
IT WAS ON MY 13th
BIRTHDAY.
THEN HE SMACKED ME IN THE HEAD
AND SAID BE A MAN.
MAYBE ALL OF THAT DOESN'T
WORK.
>> IT IS LIKE AN ITALIAN BAR
MITZVAH.
>> WHAT A LOVELY COMING OF AGE
PARTY WHERE YOU DIDN'T SHOOT
THE HOOK -- ***.
>> IT IS WEIRD.
YOU SAID YOU COULD JOIN THE
MILITARY AND FIRE MORE
POWERFUL THINGS AT 18 BUT
CAN'T BUY A HANDGUN UNTIL ARE
YOU 21 JIE. THERE ARE SO MAIN
OF THOSE DUMB RULES.
IT IS ARBITRARY.
PEOPLE ARE JUST MAKING THEM UP
WILLY NILLY.
>> WHEN DID YOU CONSIDER
YOURSELF AN ADULT, IF EVER?
>> WHEN I WAS NINE AND JUST
SPROUTED IN EVERY DIRECTION.
THE KIDS IN THE LOCKER ROOM
ALL RAN SCREAMING.
>> YOU HAVE KIDS OR SEVERAL
KIDS.
>> TWO.
>> I HONESTLY FEEL LIKE YOU
DON'T ACTUALLY BECOME AN ADULT
UNTIL YOU HAVE KIDS WHICH IS
FINE WITH ME.
I AM HAPPY NOT BEING AN
ADULT.
IT IS ONE OF THE REASONS I
DON'T WANT TO HAVE KIDS.
IS THERE SOMETHING THERE?
ISN'T THAT WHEN YOU BECOME A
RESPONSIBLE ADULT WHEN YOU
HAVE KIDS?
>> THERE IS THIS WEIRD THING
THAT HAPPENS AND YOU THINK I
WOULD *** SOMEBODY IF THEY
WOULD TOUCH THIS THING OF
MINE.
>> ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOUR
KIDS?
>> YES.
I CALL THEM THE THING.
BUT I STAND BY THAT.
I AM NOT GOING TO MAKE A
JOKE.
>> NO, IT WAS A FAIRLY SERIOUS
QUESTION.
>> IT DOES SEEM ODD.
I TALKED TO A LOT OF PEOPLE
WHO HAD KIDS, AND IT IS LIKE
THEY SLEPT NEXT TO THE POD IN
"INVASION OF THE BODY
SNATCHERS" OF THE BEFORE THEY
HAVE A KID THEY ARE DRINKING
AND HAVING FUN AND THEY HAVE
THE KID AND IT IS LIKE, MY
LIFE IS FOR YOU, EVERYTHING
FOR YOU.
AND I JUST CAN'T UNDERSTAND
THAT.
>> IT SOUNDS AWFUL.
>> YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND
THE JOY OF PARENT HOOD.
AS THE ONLY OTHER ADULT AT
THIS TABLE I WOULD SAY
LAQUIFA, IT IS VERY LATE, GO
TO BED.
>>> WE ARE MOVING ON.
FROM COMING OF AGE TO THE
OLDEST DISCRETION.
A FORMER *** IS MAKING THE
MOVE TO LEGALIZE PROSTITUTION
ARGUING THAT NEITHER LAW
ENFORCEMENT NOR LEGISLATURE
CAN DICTATE THE SOCIAL
MORRAYS.
HE NOTES IN A NEW YORK DAILY
NEWS OP ED THAT THERE ARE
PROSTITUTES AND JOHNS IN
ANCIENT ATHENS.
IT IS LEGALIZED, RECOGNIZED
AND REGULAR GIEW LATED.
PROSTITUTION CAN SAVE
MARRIAGES POINTING TO A REPORT
THAT 10% OF MARRIED MEN IN
THEIR 40s REPORTED NO SEX IN
THE PAST YEAR.
THE SELF-PROCLAIMED KING OF
ALL PIMPS FINDS IT IRONIC THAT
IT IS LEGAL AND THE STARS MAKE
A NICE SALARY TO BOOT.
THINKING OF THINGS THAT SHOULD
STAY IN THE SHADOWS.
>> SHOULD PROSTITUTION BE
LEGALIZED?
>> I LIKE THE POINT HE BROUGHT
UP IN ANCIENT TIMES.
I WATCHED "GAME OF THROWNS"
AND THE PROSTITUTION WAS
GREAT, BUT EVERYTHING ELSE
SUCKED.
EVERYTHING ELSE LOOKED LIKE IT
HURTS.
PROSTITUTION LEGALIZED AND
TAKE THE *** SLAP OUT AND I
DON'T SEE IT AS A CRIME WITH
VICTIMS IN IT.
I THINK IT IS A BUSINESS, AND
IF A GIRL WANTS TO DO THAT
WITH HER BODY, SO BE IT.
>> HE SAYS THE ONLY REASON
PROSTITUTION EXPLOITS WOMEN IS
BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL.
IF IT IS REGULATED IT WOULD BE
BETTER.
IS THAT A FAIR POINT?
>> I THINK IT IS A FAIR
POINT.
IT MIGHT BE SAFER SAFER AND
MORE REGULATED.
WE SEE THAT WITH ***
WHERE YOU HAVE TO GET THE STD
TESTS.
I WOULD FIND MYSELF STRUGGLING
WITH THESE ISSUES.
I AM A STRONG ADVOCATE OF
PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY AND
PEOPLE MAKING THEIR OWN
CHOICES.
IF YOU ARE AN ADULT AND THIS
IS SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO
AND IT IS REALLY A BUSINESS,
THEN I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM
WITH IT.
I AM NOT GOING TO TAKE PART IN
IT, BUT I AM NOT GOING TO
STRIP CLUBS AND GAMBLE MY WAY
TO BEING BROKE.
THOSE THINGS ARE LEGAL.
THERE IS A SUBJECTIVITY HERE
TOO THAT BOTHERS ME.
>> I AGREE.
DAN, THEY PREDICT THEY WILL
LEGALIZE PROSTITUTION BY 2020
DO YOU THINK THAT IS CORRECT?
>> YES.
AND I LOVE THE THEORY THAT IT
CAN SAVE MARRIAGES.
>> THAT PART I DON'T AGREE
WITH.
>> HONEY, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
I AM GOING TO GET A ***.
>> DAN, I WANT YOU TO SHUT THE
CAMERAS AND THE AUDIO OFF.
DAN, SERIOUSLY, CAN IT SAVE
MARRIAGES?
PUT THEM BACK ON AGAIN.
WELCOME BACK.
BILL, ANYTHING TO ADD?
>> I LIKE THE FACT THAT THE
WHOLE TIME I AM READING THIS
IT IS LIKE, FOR A FORMER ***
THIS IS A COGENT, WELL THOUGHT
OUT ARGUMENT WITH LOTS OF GOOD
FACTS.
THEN I NOTICED IT WAS CO
WRITTEN BY HIS LAWYER.
AND THEN I REALIZED THIS IS A
VERY COGENT THING WRITTEN BY A
LAWYER.
THAT WAS NOTHING THAT GUY SAID.
>> ARE YOU PROBABLY RIGHT
ABOUT THAT.
>> HOW MANY TIMES CAN YOU SAY
COGENT?
>> IT IS A FUN THING TO SAY.
DO I REALLY KNOW WHAT IT
MEANS?
>>> IT IS TIME TO TAKE A
BREAK.
WHAT DO RAIN DROPS ON ROSES
AND BRIGHT COPPER KETTLES AND
WARM MITTENS AND BROWN PAPER
PACKAGES TIED UP IN STRINGS
HAVE IN COMMON?
ANTHONY DISCUSSING HIS LATEST
BOOK "THESE ARE A FEW OF MY
FAVORITE THINGS."
BUT FIRST, WHAT DID DAVID
LETTERMAN CLAIM HE WAS GUILTY
OF?
>>> HE SAYS IT IS ONLY BECAUSE
THAT IS THE COMEDY HAND HE WAS
HEALTH.
DEALT.
HERE IS THE GAP TOOTHED HOST
TALKING WITH REGIS PHILBIN.
>> I THINK A CASE COULD BE
MADE THAT WE ARE LEANING ONE
SIDE TO THE OTHER.
BUT IT IS NOT DRIVEN OUT OF
ANYTHING MORE SERIOUS THAN IT
WAS EASIER TO MAKE FUN OF.
>> IT IS ALL ABOUT GETTING THE
LAUGHS.
>> YOU ARE DESPERATE WHEN YOU
ARE OUT THERE AND YOU WANT TO
GET A LAUGH.
WHEN YOU HEAR THE FIRST LAUGH
YOU CAN RELAX A LITTLE BIT.
>> THE NAME OF THE PROGRAM TWO
OLD DUDES COMPLAINING ABOUT
STUFF.
FOR MORE LET'S GO TO "RED
EYE"'S SENIOR MEDIA
CORRESPONDENT.
>> OH MY GOD.
>> ALL RIGHT, NOW LET'S TALK
ABOUT THE PROSTITUTES.
>> JEDEDIAH, ARE YOU BUYING
WHAT DAVE IS SELLING?
>> I AM NOT BUYING IT.
I HAVE TWO WORDS FOR HIM JOE
BIDEN.
JOE BIDEN IS NOT EASILY MADE
FUN OF, I DON'T KNOW WHO IS.
THERE IS NO WAY JOE BIDEN IS
NOT FUNNY.
SARAH PALIN IS.
>> HE ALWAYS SAYS YOU GO WHERE
THE MATERIAL IS.
THE JOKE HE MADE ABOUT WILLOW
PALIN HE THOUGHT IT WAS
BRISTOL, BUT THEY WERE AT A
BASEBALL GAME MINDING THEIR
OWN BUSINESS AND HE MADE THE
JOKE.
>> IT IS NOT FUNNY.
IF HE SAYS SHE NONPARTISAN HE
KNEADS TO DO SOMETHING ELSE.
>> I DON'T REALLY CARE IF DAVE
MAKES FUN OF REPUBLICANS MORE
THAN DEMOCRATS.
IT IS HIS SHOW AND HE SHOULD
DO WHAT HE WANTS.
WHAT BOTHERS ME WHEN HE OR
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" CLAIM
THERE IS NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT
OBAMA.
THE TRUTH IS IT IS THAT THEIR
HEARTS AREN'T IN IT.
>> THEIR HEARTS AREN'T IN IT.
THEY MIGHT MAKE A JOKE OR TWO,
ESPECIALLY DAVE.
HE IS TALKING ABOUT MAKING
JOKES, BUT THEY ARE VERY
SOFT.
NONE IS WITH THE VENOM THAT
GEORGE W. BUSH GOT.
THAT WAS SOME REAL VINDICTIVE
STUFF.
THIS IS VERY PLAYFUL.
THEY NEVER REALLY DELVE INTO
THE HEART ISSUES.
>> THEY ARE LAUGHING WITH BOB
DYLAN.
>> WHERE IS THE GOOD STUFF?
>> I AGREE.
AND LETTERMAN BRINGS UP
CLINTON AND THE LEWINSKI
SCANDAL.
HE SAYS, WE WILL GO WHERE
THERE IS MATERIAL.
CLINTON WAS LIKE THIS LOVABLE
SCAM P.
-- SCAMP.
>> I DON'T KNOW MAN.
I DISAGREE WITH YOU ALL.
YOU ARE ALL IDIOTS AND I AM
LEAVING OF THE OBAMA IS JUST
KIND OF BORING.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
HE EATS FISH.
ONE TIME HE PUT MUS ST ARD ON
HIS -- MUSTARD ON HIS
HAMBURGER.
I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WOULD
EVEN -- HE HAS BIG EARS.
>> HE DOES HAVE BIG EARS.
>> BIDEN IS CERTAINLY FUNNY.
1K3* OBAMA HAS MADE A LOT OF
GASPS, BUT IF YOU WANTED TO GO
OUT THERE --
>> IT MAY NOT HAVE BEEN SUPER
FUNNY MATERIAL, BUT IF YOU ARE
GOING TO POKE FUN WITH THE
WILLOW PALIN CAMPBEL YOU DON'T
HAVE TO BE SUPER FUNNY.
YOU CAN POINT OUT.
HE WAS TALKING ABOUT 57
STATES.
YOU CAN MAKE A JOKE OUT OF
THAT.
THERE IS A WAY TO FIND A JOKE
IN THERE.
>> I THINK A DIFFERENCE WITH
GEORGE W. BUSH IS THE WHOLE
THING OF EVERYBODY SAYING THIS
IS A GUY YOU WOULD WANT TO
HAVE A BEER WITH.
YOU MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE YOU ARE
COMFORTABLE WITH.
IT IS LIKE A BUDDY, BUDDY
THING.
YOU GIVE A ZING NOW AND THEN.
>> I DON'T THINK THERE WAS
ANYTHING BUDDY, BUDDY ABOUT
IT.
>> AND CHENEY DID GET
DISASSEMBLED BY THE MEDIA AND
BIDEN ISN'T GETTING ANYTHING.
>> BILL, LAST WORD TO YOU.
>> YOU KNOW THE WORD SMART,
SOBER PRAGNATIST COULD
DESCRIBE OBAMA.
THERE IS ONE BIG DIFFERENCE.
THERE IS AN EMPTY VESSEL WHERE
HIS SOUL SHOULD BE.
AS A RESULT THAT LEADS TO VERY
BAD -- IT IS VERY AWKWARD
MOMENTS, WEIRD COMMENTS AND
THAT'S FUNNIER.
ON THE SURFACE IT IS FUNNIER.
WHILE CLINTON WAS A SCAM P
ANTHONY WIENER WAS
AS HE WAS.
>> DO YOU HAVE A COMMENT ON
THE SHOW?
HOPEFULLY A BAD ONE ABOUT
BILL.
E-MAIL US, AND TO LEAVE A
VOICEMAIL CALL 212-462-5050.
STILL TO COME, THE HALF TIME
REPORT FROM MIKE BAKER.
>> TONIGHT'S HALF TIME REPORT
IS SPONSORED BY THE LARGE
AMERICAN SEA LION MAMMALS THAT
RESEMBLE LIONS.
>>> LET'S FIND OUT IF WE HAVE
GOT ANYTHING WRONG SO FAR.
LET'S GO TO MIKE BAKER.
>> I SOUND LIKE A SUPER HERO.
>> WE ARE BEHIND SCHEDULE.
PEOPLE WILL BE FASCINATED.
THIS RETRACTS THE RESPOE OF
VARIOUS LISTEN GROUPS.
YOU WILL SEE THAT IN THE A
BLOCK THE DEMOCRATS HAVE
STARTED TO SHOOT UP.
THE REPUBLICANS STARTED TO
SHOOT DOWN.
YOU CAN SEE THEY DON'T MOVE AT
ALL.
WE WILL SKIP THAT.
THE *** GAP NUMBERS, THE
VARIANCE IS WHAT WE ARE
LOOKING AT.
IT EQUALS 2XY MINUS THE SYMBOL
THAT GOES UP.
YOU CAN SEE THE GAP IS
WIDENING.
THE SPROCKETS LOOK GOOD.
AND OF COURSE THIS IS MY
TWITTER.
JEDEDIAH?
>> YES.
>> ANDY WAS POINTING OUT AS HE
WAS STARTING TO ASK YOU A
QUESTION, ARE YOU A WOMAN.
YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY.
YOU NOY WHAT, HE IS RIGHT.
ACCORDING TO A RECENT STUDY,
75% OF ASTROLOGY READERS ARE
WOMEN.
>> THAT DOESN'T SURPRISE ME.
AS I AM IN THE NAIL SALONS AND
THE BEAUTY PARLORS AS MY
TBRAPPED MA USED TO -- GRANDMA
USED TO SAY I SEE A LOT OF
PEOPLE READING THAT.
AND MY MOM CALLS ME AND SAYS
THIS IS WHAT IS HAPPENING TO
YOU.
>> WHEN YOU ARE AT THE NAIL
SALON DO YOU BUMP INTO BILL?
>> ALL THE TIME.
BUT HE IS IN THE PEDICURE
AREA.
>> IT IS CALLED BEING A
PICES.
IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY
MASCULINITY.
>> YOU ARE NOT A PICES.
>> I AM AN AQUARIUS.
>> I AM AN AQUARIUS TOO.
>> I AM A SHEEP.
>> DO YOU HAVE A HANDGUN THAT
I CAN SHOOT MYSELF WITH?
YOU KNOW WHAT, ANOTHER PART OF
THE STUDY SHOWS A THIRD OF
AMERICANS -- THIS WILL MAKE
YOU PUKE, A THIRD OF AMERICANS
BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY.
>> MY FAVORITE PART OF THE
ORIGINAL IS ASTROLOGY, NOT TO
BE CONFUSED WITH ASTRONOMY.
>> IT IS TRUE.
THEY ARE ENTIRELY SEPARATE
THINGS.
>> SO I HAVE HEARD.
>> ANTHONY, WELCOME TO THE
SHOW.
>> THANK YOU, SIR.
>> YOU ARE WELCOME.
YOU SAYS YOUR CHART SAYS
ROMNEY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK HIS CHANCES
ARE OF PULLING IT OUT IN
NOVEMBER?
>> I THINK THEY ARE PRETTY
GOOD.
PEOPLE WILL COME OUT TO VOTE
AGAINST OBAMA AND I DON'T
THINK AS MANY WILL VOTE FOR
OBAMA.
YOU HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE THAT
WANTED TO SEE A LOT OF FIRSTS
HAPPEN.
AND I DON'T THINK THEY WILL
COME OUT.
>> DAN?
>> YES.
>> DO YOU PUT THEY CREDIBILITY
THIS THIS WHOLE GATHERING OF
THE UH STROLL GISTS?
>> YES, I DO.
BEFORE I CAME HERE THEY SAID
YOU WOULD BE WEARING A BROWN
TIE AND THEY WERE RIGHT.
>> DOES YOUR MAGAZINE "MAXINE"
HAVE AN ASTROLOGY SECTION?
>> "MAXINE" DOES, BUT" MAX I'M"
IT DOES NOT.
>> THAT'S THE NAME OF YOUR
JOURNAL.
>> I WAS DOING A DAY OLD JOKE
WHICH OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T WORK
ON TELEVISION.
BILL, DOES YOUR UNCLE JOE
OFTEN WEAR A CLOWN COSTUMES?
OR IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WANT
TO TALK ABOUT?
>> MY UNCLE JOE SAYS ONLY IN
AMERICA.
THAT'S WHY HE WAS VOTING FOR
ROMNEY.
>> YOU KNOW, YOU MADE -- NOW
THAT BILL HAS GOTTEN US INTO
THE NEXT STORY ABOUT
MISSPELLINGS AND APPS AND ALL
OF THAT STUFF, AND BY THE WAY,
YOU ASKED A QUESTION, HOW DOES
THIS HAPPEN?
>> IT IS A VERY GOOD
QUESTION.
I DID SOME RESEARCH WHILE YOU
WERE TALKING.
THERE IS NO EXPLANATION AS TO
HOW IT HAPPENED SO WE ARE
MOVING ON TO THE NEXT STORY.
AND BY THE WAY, ROMNEY HIT THE
MAGICAL NUMBER OF DELEGATES HE
NEEDED FOR GETTING THE
REPUBLICAN NOMINATION.
ANYBODY CARE TO TELL ME HOW
MANY DELEGATES THAT IS?
>> 1140?
>> IT IS 1,144.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> WHAT DO I WIN?
>> YOU WIN ANOTHER GUEST
APPEARANCE ON "RED EYE."
>> ANTHONY, I AM GOING TO READ
YOU A QUOTE AND YOU TELL US
WHO SAID THIS.
>> TONIGHT AFTER MILLIONS OF
DOLLARS SPENT AND AFTER YEARS
OF SUPPORT AGAINST ONE OF THE
WEAKEST FIELDS IN HISTORY,
MITT ROMNEY HAS FINALLY
SECURED ENOUGH DELEGATES TO
BECOME THE REPUBLICAN'S
PRESIDENTIAL NOMINEE.
WHO DO YOU THINK SAID THAT?
>> AND --
>> THE ANSWER IS NO.
>> MIKE, I KNOW.
>> YOU SAID THAT LIKE THE
SECOND PART OF YOUR ANSWER
WOULD BE YES.
>> WHO IS IT?
>> WASHER MAN SCHULZ.
>> THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS
-- THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS
YOU KNOW WHO COULD HAVE
WRITTEN THAT ANYBODY ELSE THAT
WAS WRITTEN.
>> THAT IS ACTUALLY A DEGREE
OF VENOM IN THE QUOTES THAT I
DON'T THINK WOULD BE
REPLICATED AGAINST ANYBODY.
>> YOU DON'T NEED GINGRICH'S
BLOCK.
>> SHE IS A LOVELY WOMAN AND I
WON'T HAVE YOU TALK BADLY.
>> I DON'T THINK ANYBODY AT
THE TABLE WOULD STULL -- WOULD
STUMP.
>> BY THE WAY [INAUDIBLE] FOR
THOSE WHO ARE WONDER WHOG HE
WAS TALKING ABOUT, VERN WAS A
PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE.
HE WAS BORN AND RAISED IN A
SMALL FARM TOWN IN TEXAS.
HIS FATHER WAS A QAR --
CARPENTER AND HIS MOTHER WAS A
TEACHER.
>> AT LEAST IT WAS IN THIS
COUNTRY.
JOY THAT TAKES US TO A WHOLE
DIFFERENT SET OF TOPICS.
LET'S TALK MATURITY SHALL WE?
OKAY LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT.
>> YOU TALK ABOUT MATURITY.
BILL -- WATCH IT.
I'LL GO BACK TO THE CHARTS.
YOU SAID PEOPLE DEVELOP AT
DIFFERENT TIMES IN DIFFERENT
WAYS.
ARE YOU WILLING TO STAND BY
THAT BOLD STATEMENT?
>> I AM LEGALLY NOT ALLOWED TO
STAND NEAR ANY STATEMENTS.
>> AT WHAT POINT DO YOU EXPECT
TO START DEVELOPING?
>> I FEEL LIKE VERSIONS OF
THAT CUT AGAINST ME WERE MADE
WITH EVERY PERSON ON THIS
TABLE.
AT THIS POINT IT IS A
REGURGITATED CUT.
>> ARE YOU WILLING TO SHOW US
YOUR BACKYARD AT THIS POINT?
>> NO, HE IS NOT.
>> I HAVE 90 SECONDS.
>> I WILL GIVE YOU A LITTLE
TASTE OF THIS.
>> PARTY DOESN'T STOP HERE,
PEOPLE.
>> THERE YOU GO.
THE NATIONAL MINIMUM DRINKING
ACT WAS PASSED IN WHAT YEAR?
>> 1984MENT -- 1984.
>> WELL DONE YOU.
>> AND IT WAS SET BY CONGRESS
TO PUT THE DRINKING AGE AT
21.
ANTHONY, BINGE DRINKING IS
DESCRIBED IN MOST LEGAL
VOLUMES AS CONSUMING HOW MANY
OR MORE DRINKS IN ONE
SITTING?
>> I WOULD THINK PROBABLY 15.
>> I THINK IT IS 5.
>> THE ANSWER IS FIVE.
>> YOU SAID YOU DON'T BECOME
AN ADULT UNTIL YOU HAVE KIDS.
>> I OFFERED THAT AS A
THEORY.
>> YOU HAVE TO SET A BENCHMARK
SOMEPLACE AND THAT IS NOT A
BAD ONE.
I REMEMBER MY DAD TOLD ME WHEN
I WAS HEADING TO MY OLD JOB IN
THE OUT OUTFIT WE WERE TALKING
ABOUT WHEN DO YOU GROW UP?
A BOY BECOMES A MAN WHEN MAN
IS NEEDED.
>> HAVE KIDS OR JOIN THE
MILITARY.
>> JUST KILL SOMETHING.
>> AT LEAST KILL SOMETHING.
>> BILL, CAN YOU SPELL
COGENT?
>> K-L-M-VOWEL.
>> ALL RIGHT.
WE ARE GOINGKIP
PROSTITUTION.
THAT WILL TAKE US ALL NIGHT TO
TALK ABOUT.
AND DAN IS FINISHING UP ON
LETTERMAN.
DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE COMICS
MADE SO MUCH FUN OF GEORGE
BUSH BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE
HIS PAL?
>> COMICS WERE CRYING THEIR
EYES OUT WHEN SARAH PALIN DID
NOT GET THE NOMINATION.
>> I APPRECIATE THE WAY YOU
REDIRECTED THE THING.
>> THAT'S VERY GOOD.
THAT'S IT.
I'M DONE.
>> THANKS, MIKE.
SEE YOU AT THE END OF THE
SHOW.
>> SHOULD CANNIBALISM BE
LEGALIZED?
JEDEDIAH BILA DISCUSSES HER
NEW BOOK.
BUT FIRST, HOW MUCH DID MARK
ZUCKERBERG TIP AT A RESTAURANT
IN ROME?
I AM GUESSING A LOT OR
NOTHING.
>>> SHOULD HE GET SLACK FOR
EATING A BIG MAC?
MARK ZUCKERBURG AND HIS NEW
BRIDE WERE SPOTTED EATING
McDONALDS.
IT REPORTED THAT THEY CHOWED
DOWN IN ROME.
THEY DINED AT A FAST-FOOD
JOINT AND THEY NEGLECTED TO
LEAVE A TIP.
RESTAURANT STAFF SAY THEY WERE
SURPRISED NOT ONLY BECAUSE OF
THE FACEBOOK FOUNDED INSANE
WEALTH BECAUSE THEY ARE
ACCUSTOMED TO GENERAL TOC TIPS
FROM -- GENEROUS TIPS FROM
AMERICAN TOURISTS.
>> LIGHTNING ROOOOUUUNND.
LIGHTNING ROUND.
>> IS IT DONE YET?
DAN, ANYBODY WHO HAS EVER
WAITED TABLES IN AMERICA KNOWS
EUROPEANS DON'T TIP.
I SAY GOOD FOR ZUCKERBERG
FORGETTING PAY BACK.
>> I BET THAT WAITER DIDN'T --
LIKE -- THAT.
>> I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
>> HE DIDN'T LIKE IT.
HE WAS MAD.
>> JEDEDIAH, WHAT IS THE POINT
OF EATING McDONALDS IN
ROME?
DON'T THEY HAVE AN OLIVE
GARDEN.
>> AS AN ITALIAN AMERICAN I AM
DISGUSTED.
WHEN YOU GO TO ROME YOU GAIN
30 POUNDS BECAUSE YOU HAVE
EATEN 30 POUNDS OF PASTA.
THIS GUY WENT THERE AND ATE
McDONALDS?
McDONALDS?
NO I'M SERIOUS.
McDO
>> THAT IS A SPICY MEATBALL.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> ANTHONY WHEN YOU ARE AS
RICH AS ZUCKERBERG, DO YOU
JUST NOT CARE IF PEOPLE THINK
YOU ARE A CHEAPSKATE?
>> I CARE VERY MUCH SO.
THEY ARE NOT REPORTING THE
WHOLE STORY.
HE TIPPED 25%, BUT IT
DISAPPEARED THREE DAYS LATER.
>> NICE, VERY NICE.
>> DO YOU THINK ZUCKERBURG WAS
EATING ON THE CHEAP TO SHOW
INVESTORS THAT HE FEELS THEIR
PAIN?
>> HOW WOULD HE THINK THAT
WOULD IMPRESS THEM?
>> IT IS A QUESTION TO
STIMULANT CONVERSATION.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
>> I HONESTLY BELIEVE HE
DOESN'T KNOW TIPPING BECAUSE
HE IS UNABLE TO READ HUMAN
EMOTION.
>> YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT.
>> NEXT TOPIC.
I THINK MORE FUN.
DEAD SPIN.COM REPORTS THAT THE
FORMER RED SOX MANAGER AND THE
ESPN MANAGER SEPTEMBER A
SHIRTLESS PICTURE OF HIMSELF
TO A 27-YEAR-OLD WOMAN.
THE TOTALLY AWESOME PICS SHOW
A 53-YEAR-OLD POOLSIDE.
THE WOMAN'S BOYFRIEND FOUND IT
WHILE HE WAS APPARENTLY
RAIDING HER E-MAIL.
ALWAYS A GOOD SIGN IN A
RELATIONSHIP.
LATER HE DISCOVERED SHE
EXCHANGED A BUNCH OF TEXTS
WITH FRANCONA AND SHE E-MAILED
THIS PIC TO HIM BEFORE HE SENT
HER HIS.
ANTHONY, FRANCONA IS SINGLE
AND HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING
WRONG HERE.
JAY THIS IS FANTASTIC --
>> THIS IS FANTASTIC.
I WOULD BE THROWING STONES.
>> USUALLY THE TOWEL IS A LOT
SMALLER.
>> JED DO JEDEDIAH, ISN'T IT
DISGUSTING THAT A GUY IN HIS
50s WOULD BE FLIRTING WITH A
GIRL THAT YOUNG?
>> NO.
I ONLY DATE OLDER MEN.
I JUST DIDN'T FIND THE PICTURE
SCANDALOUS.
IN THIS CASE IT IS TOLERABLE.
EVERYONE ELSE IT IS COOL.
>> WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE
DEAD SPIN?
MAYBE KEEP IT PRIVATE?
>> I AM NOT SURE.
I WANT TO BE AS HUMILIATED AS
POSSIBLE AS QUICKLY AS
POSSIBLE.
THAT SEEMS TO BE THE ONLY
THING THAT COULD HAVE BEEN
GOING THROUGH HIS BRAIN.
I THOUGHT HE LOOKED GREAT.
I WOULD LIKE TO SEE MORE QUITE
FRANKLY.
>> SOMETHING HAS TO BE GOING
ON IN ORDER TO MAKE YOU DO
THAT.
>> THERE ARE SO MANY CLUES
LAYING AROUND EVERYWHERE.
>> WHY IS THERE ALL OF THIS
RED SOX STUFF.
>> WHY IS ESPN ALWAYS ON?
BILL ACTUALLY I GIVE THE
BOYFRIEND CREDIT FOR BEING
HONEST ABOUT THE FACT THAT HE
DISCOVERED HIS GIRLFRIEND
SEPTEMBER A PICTURE TO
FRANCONA FIRST.
>> THAT'S THE GREATEST THING.
ANYONE WHO HAS NOT GONE ON TO
DEAD SPIN THIS IS THE
PROTOTYPICAL DEAD SPAN STORY.
HE GOES THROUGH THE WHOLE ARC
OF EMOTIONS.
OH CELEBRITY ATHLETE SEX.
YOU READ A LITTLE MORE AND IT
IS LIKE, THAT'S INTERESTING.
BY THE END YOU ARE LIKE,
WELL.
WOMEN.
>> THAT WAS VERY COGENT.
>>> IT IS TIME TO TAKE A BREAK
AND SEE WHAT COGENT MEANS.
MORE STUFF IS ON THE WAY.
STICK AROUND.
>>> THERE ARE SOME POPULAR
EXCUSE THESE HEAR WHEN THEY
ARE DUMPED.
THE TOP FIVE REASONS MEN GET
DISMISSED ARE, THERE IS
SOMEONE ELSE.
OUR DIETARY HABITS DIFFER,
YOUR NAME IS BILL SCHULZ OF
THE THE TOP FIVE FOR WHY WOMEN
GET THE BOOT ARE, I AM NOT
READY FOR RELATIONSHIP, BAD
HYGIENE, I DON'T FEEL LIKE I
AM A PRIORITY, TOO MUCH
FIGHTING AND YOUR NAME IS BILL
SCHULZ.
ANTHONY, HIGHWAY IS IT
POSSIBLE THE NUMBER TWO WOMEN
WOMEN -- THE NUMBER TWO REASON
WOMEN DUMP MEN IS DIETARY
REASONS?
>> I'M SORRY.
IF YOU ARE INTO THAT, THAT IS
WORSE.
>> THE NUMBER TWO REASON
OVERALL?
>> TRY GOING OUT TO DINNER
WITH ONE.
>> AND THEN YOU TRY TO DO THEM
A FAVOR AND LOOK ON THE MENU.
>> I KNOW.
>> TRYING TO HELP.
>> JEDEDIAH, I TOTALLY GET
THAT WOMEN WOULD DUMP MEN FOR
BEING TOO SHORT.
WHY WOULD ANYBODY WANT TO BE
WITH A SHORT GUY?
>> AND I THOUGHT GREG WOULD BE
HERE.
>> HAVE I THE LIST HERE AND
LACK OF PUNCTURE WALT.
>> I UNDERSTAND THAT.
IF YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE
THERE AND THE OTHER PERSON IS
LATE IT MAKES YOU LOOK BAD.
I GET REQUEST THAT WOULD UH
NOW PEOPLE.
>> YOU MISSED READING THEM
BECAUSE THERE WAS NO
PUNCTUATION.
>> MY WIFE IS YELLING AT ME,
WE HAVE TO GO.
>> I GET THAT.
YOU DO THAT ALL THE TIME.
BUT IT SEEMS LIKE A LOT OF
REASONS FOR DUMPING SHOULD
HAVE BEEN REASONS NO THE TO GO
OUT IN THE FIRST PLACE.
BAD HYGIENE?
WHY ARE YOU GOING OUT WITH
SOMEONE WITH BAD HYGIENE.
>> THEY KEPT STABBING ME.
>> BAD HYGIENE COULD BE GOOD
DURING SEX.
>> YOU KIDS AT HOME, DON'T PAY
ATTENTION TO WHAT HE JUST
SAID.
>> PAY ATTENTION AND CALL ME.
>> I WANTED TO GET TO YOU
BEFORE WE GO.
MOST WOMEN LIST TIRED OF
FINDING YOU SLEEPING IN YOUR
SOILED CLOTHES IN A DUMPSTER
AS THEIR REASON FOR DUMPING
YOU.
PLEAS ANSWER THE QUESTION.
>> -- PLEASE ANSWER THE
QUESTION.
>> NUMBER THREE.
IF YOU ARE GOING TO INSULT ME,
IT HAS TO GO IN THREE'S.
>> I WILL GO EXACTLY TO THE
ONE THAT STUCK OUT.
IT IS LIKE, BAD HYGIENE FOR
DUMPING A WOMAN.
WHAT WOMAN DO YOU KNOW WHO HAS
BAD HYGIENE?
>> THE ONLY THING I CAN THINK
OF IS IT IS CODE FOR
SOMETHING.
I AM NOT SURE WHAT, BUT
SOMETHING.
>> BAD BREATH?
>> THAT COULD BE -- WAS THAT
PART OF IT?
>> IT COULD BE WORSE.
>> WE WILL TALK MORE ABOUT
THIS DURING THE BREAK OF THE
AND THEN WE WILL CLOSE THINGS
OU
>>> COMING UP TOMORROW ON THE
NEXT "RED EYE" RETURN
APPEARANCES FROM SEXY RICK
ELEVEN VEN THAT WILL AND THE
COMEDIAN GREG TROUPES.
>> MIKE BAKER WITH THE POST
GAME WRAP UP.
>> JEDEDIAH?
>> YES.
WHAT FOX SHOWS ARE YOU ON?
>> I HAVE HANNITY.
>> ANY MATTERS COMING UP?
-- ANY PARTIES COMING UP?
>> I AM STILL CLEANING
TWIZZLERS AND STRIDEX OUT OF
THE SKIMMERS.
MORE PARTIES THOUGH.
CAN YOU TELL US ABOUT THE
LATEST "MAXIM" COVER.
>> YES, OF COURSE.
YOU GET TWO FOR ONE.
IT IS THE HOT 100 ON STANDS
NOW.
IT MIGHT BURN YOU.
ENJOY IT.
>> ANYBODY WE KNOW IN THERE?
>> NO.
>> EVERYONE YOU EVER LOVED IS
IN THERE.
>> ANDY, THAT'S IT.
>> THANKS, MIKE.
APPRECIATE IT AS ALWAYS.
A SPECIAL THANKS TO JEDEDIAH
BE LAW, BILL SCHULZ, AND
ANTHONY.
TAKE IT FROM ME, I'M ANDY
LEVY.
I WILL SEE YOU BACK HERE
TOMORROW.
DEAL WITH IT.