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Everything
This is me.
This is Monica.
Monica smells nice,
smiles all the time when we talk,
and I always get the shivers when we accidentally touch.
I think I’m in love with her.
I don't even know what it really is...
Love...
What does it mean: to love somebody...
to be loved...
Stop fooling around.
Come and eat something.
It makes no sense.
I'm lying here thinking of Monica, while I could be doing something useful.
I could get up, move away from these thoughts...
People say love is beautiful.
In movies they say the same thing.
And me, when I think of Monica I feel nothing but pain.
Dad... how did you meet mum?
Uh... just like that.
But how did you make her marry you?
I don’t know.
You were about to be born,
she wanted to get married...
What was left to do?
I wanted to get married?
And who yelled under my balcony that he couldn't live without me?
You've ruined twenty years of my life.
Dilettantes, conformists reconciled to the world!
Forlorn people with no dreams nor faith in anything!
Someday they will get old and I will have to take care of them!
- Think positive. - Get divorced if you like.
Monica, Monica...
- Go get a divorce. - Ok, no problem.
Monica.
Hi.
What are you doing?
I’m meditating on the meaning of life.
I'm having a party tonight. I've got one left.
Do you want to come?
See you, then.
See ya.
I’ve got a chance.
Yeah, the whole world is on my side!
This is my big day!
Man, what a babe I picked up the other day, what a hottie.
Her *** makes me *** every time she shakes it. I'm telling you!
***, man, you must be in love.
***, I guess I am.
I dunno.
I won't find another *** like that soon, right?
Screw it, I even told her I loved her, I guess.
No *** way! And...?
And I *** her good.
Whoa, *** man!
Here’s to your new chick.
Cheers!
Cheers, pal!
Meditating on the meaning of life?
Today's my birthday, you know?
I know.
I've brought you a present.
Let’s go to my place.
Sex? So soon?
But I love you, girl!
What sex?
There are so many things we haven't done yet.
We haven't held hands walking in a park,
we haven't cried watching a movie, we haven't spent a night talking on the phone
and you want it just like that?
With me?
Am I being stupid?
I need to answer myself one simple question.
Am I being stupid?
All right.
You’d better go now.
What do you mean?
It was nice to meet you, but I’ve got my life and you’ve got yours.
It's time for you to get back to it.
And what about us?
There is no us. There have never been and never will be.
It’s time to face the truth.
But I love you!
You've got no idea what 'love' means.
You’d better go.
Stand up! Stand up and fight!
Come on, come on. Do it for Monica.
One two three go!
Everything...
to lose myself...
in someone else's eyes...
and they instead of getting ashamed and asking dumply 'what?'...
would completely lose themselves in mine.
Out of this pain I've become a poet.
I’ll send her this poem...
Maybe she'll come back to me overwhelmed by the power of my love.
Hi, Monica speaking. Leave a message and if you're someone I like, I'll definitely call you back. Kisses.
The queen of my orgasms doesn’t call.
I don’t know what to do.
I’m totally clueless, ready to...
She wrote back!
She wants to meet and start all over...
Sent from the Net?
My-pe-riod-is-late...
My first time with a girl and her period is late.
The efficacy of insemination: 100%. Great.
And what am I supposed to do now?
Maybe it’s a mistake...
Hi, Monica speaking. Leave a message and if you're someone I like, I'll definitely call you back. Kisses.
Baby... baby...
Baby.
I want you to have this baby, we'll bring it up to be a good person.
I'll carry it in my arms, teach it how to ride a bike, take it to the movies...
What are you talking about?
That night was the most wonderful moment of my life.
I want to be with you.
Cry and laugh together with you, dream about you, wake up and fall asleep next to you,
always have time for you, buy you flowers without occasion...
Never lie to you.
Discover you every day anew, regretting I didn't meet you before.
I want to live just for you.
Be your whole world just as you are mine.
I love you.
Next time I see you around my woman, I'll *** kill you!
I love her.
Even if she used me, won't have my child and now is *** some idiot.
She is everything I have.
Everything worth living for.
Just don't grab my nose.
Translated by Arkadiusz Cywiński and Marcelina Majczyńska