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Hey YouTube! The other day I saw an advert on the Underground for London Heathrow Airport,
and it said that Heathrow is the best airport because it has an express security check-in
for families with children.
Now I've got two issues with this. First of all, why should families with children get
an express check-in? They're always the ones causing the queues. If anything, the families
should be forced to queue as a punishment for bringing their children with them and
making the holiday a misery for everybody else.
And the second thing is, why are they advertising Heathrow Airport anyway? It's not like anyone's
going to choose a holiday based on the quality of an airport.
>> CHRIS: Hi, I'd like to book a holiday to Sydney please.
>> LONDON: No problem, let me just have a look.
I'm guessing that you're single. Because if you're travelling on your own, Melbourne has
an express check-in for single people. It's just a stone's throw away from Sydney Airport.
>> CHRIS: Oh well that sounds convenient. Okay.
>> LONDON: Where do you want to fly from?
>> CHRIS: Oh, well, London Heathrow, obviously. It's the nearest one.
>> LONDON: That's a pity, because there's a special offer if you fly from Manchester.
For just £50 extra you can get your free baggage check-in, free security check-in,
free waiting area... and a free complimentary toothbrush.
>> CHRIS: Manchester's 200 kilometres away!
>> LONDON: You also get a frisbee.
>> CHRIS: Oh, well that is reasonable. All right then, Manchester.
>> LONDON: Oh. They do only fly to Berlin or Paris though.
>> CHRIS: Ah. Which one's got the best airport?
>> LONDON: Well, free croissant at Paris airport if you travel on a Friday.
Shall I book that in for you? Manchester to Paris via Las Vegas International.
>> CHRIS: Las Vegas?!
>> LONDON: Terminal 1 has got a Starbucks. You can get yourself a coffee. A little Frappuccino?
I'll book that in for you shall I? That's £459 for your flights please. Thank you!
[the door opens]
[baby cries]
>> LONDON: Get out the chair!
[loud crash]
Who's next please?