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Stanford has once again innovated beyond our capacities of imagination and production
To create a time traveling device
Brace yourselves, because we are going to take control of that device
And use it to destroy Stanford
By saving Leland Stanford Junior!
What? No!
All right, that is some great open minded thinking, little lady
You have no idea, you crusty ***
Once again, Stanford stepped into the lead
Once again, you're gonna just sit there and let me bleed?
Let me bleed
Are we ever gonna take control?
Let's show the world just who we are
Then they will see
Think what you may think about it
I don't care 'cause here's the short of it
Listen to me and you'll agree
That Stanford sucks compares to Cal
May not be the first choice you've been dreaming of
But look across the bay and you'll see much worse
Don't be deceived by it's reputation
Just Ivy status and decoration
It's all for show!
Think what you may think about it
I don't care 'cause here's the short of it
Listen to me and you'll agree
That Stanford sucks compares to Cal
Doesn't pamper you like those ***
Do we really need to call them that?
They deserve it!
Pretentiousness, a requirement
Self-righteousness, don't apply without it
Who'd want to go?
So I tell you again
Think what you may think about it
I don't care 'cause here's the short of it
Listen to me and you'll agree
That Stanford sucks compares to Cal
Lacks a linear accelerator
But meh! Who needs one when you have fun?
They spend day and night locked up reading
How much time does that leave for breeding?
That sure would blow!
Those furdites think they have it
But my rejection, they'll soon regret it
Listen to me and it's easy to see
Why the whole world will agree
That Stanford sucks compared to Cal