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Welcome to the planet Sera, where everything's gone to *** and the
men are muscle-bound like Belgian prize cattle. So here's the deal: fourteen years ago,
the Locust decided to emerge from the ground in a day we call - wait for it - Emergence
Day. They started f**king s**t up, but keep in mind that this is actually their planet
and the humans are the invaders which basically means, yep, WE'RE THE BAD GUYS.
You are Marcus Fenix and you wear a do-rag. This is your buddy, Dom. Together,
you are Delta Squad, a team 400 pound men who are the only useful component
in an entire army. In the first game, you have to take this thing called a Resonator
that - wait for it- resonates, but then it doesn't really resonate, so you
just have to kill everyone. You set off a lightmass bomb, kill a general named RAAM,
blah blah blah, lo and behold, it turns out this didn't really do much at all, because
come on, there are two more games left in this trilogy.
So Gears 2 starts and everything has gone more to ***, and, to
top it all off, it turns out the Locust are being run by a Queen who as far as we can
tell is Dame Judy Dench. So there's that.
For the sake of level design variety, but for no discernable tactical edge whatsoever,
you drill down into the ground to fight the Locust on their own turf. You pew pew for
a while and then hey, you're back on the surface.
You fight some Locust in a crazy laboratory where it seems like there might
be some story but the big twist - wait for it - is that there isn't! So you
go back underground, where you learn that some the Locust have become Lambent, a
new and exciting enemy that looks like the Locust, talks like the Locust, shoots like
the Locust, but get this - they explode!
So you flood the Locust tunnels by destroying Jacinto, the one last remaining
human stronghold on the entire planet, because that makes perfect sense. And of course,
it didn't work because nothing you do ever works and also because, hey, Gears of War 3.
Have fun.