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Now on Top Gear.
We go car shopping
for one of the most famous
people in America.
Go.
Which one of our convertibles
will he choose?
Go, go, go, go!
It's really windy!
when a celebrity
goes shopping for a new car,
he doesn't drive to a dealership
and look around the lot.
He has the cars brought to him.
One of the biggest dealers
in New England
had asked us to drive three
high-end cars from his lot
to a client 200 miles away
in New York City.
We chose our favorites
and met up in Massachusetts.
It may be a little hard
to get out of,
but when money is no object,
is there a better car
in the world
than the
Lamborghini Murciélago Roadster?
If you look up "exotic" in the
dictionary, there's no words.
There's just a picture of this
car slathered across the pages.
And at just over $420,000, it's
the perfect car for a celebrity.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Huh?
Bentley continental GTC,
my friend.
How is it that
even when you get a new car,
it's still old
or for old people?
This isn't old.
This is iconic.
I mean, who would drive this,
Bob hope?
Kobe Bryant has one of these.
Kim Kardashian has one of these.
Mike Tyson has one of these.
Any people
that I would care about?
And when does your new cd drop?
So, yeah, it's very popular
with rappers
because they have incredible
taste in style.
Yeah,
'cause when you think of taste
and class, it's Ludacris.
Well, Luda doesn't own one,
but 50 Cent does, young jeezy.
And look at the craftsmanship!
Please don't touch that.
Oh, wow.
Don't.
Seriously,
don't touch that.
Is this imported duct tape?
That's like 25 grand, man.
Yeah.
But, I mean, this is just style.
This is panache.
Here comes panache now.
Oh, the horn is so weak.
Wow.
You went German.
I'm stunned.
Behold, gentlemen.
The incognito super car.
The Porsche Turbo S Cabriolet.
The incognito super car.
Yeah.
Celebrities
are always in the spotlight,
so why do you need
to show off with that?
This is for somebody
who actually enjoys driving.
These are for celebrities.
This is comm, my friend.
A 911.
They're grocery-getters!
This grocery-getter is faster
than this $400,000
Oh, is that true?
How fast do you go?
How fast will that go?
- What's your top speed?
- 196.
Oh, really?
How fast will it go with the top on?
than that or it'll blow off.
Our three convertibles
were completely different
Old,
lame,
and just right.
Son of a
To help figure out which would
be the best for our buyer,
we'd be doing
a series of challenges
on our way to New York.
We were headed to our
to our first challenge
in Kingston, New York.
I was confident I'd gotten
inside the celebrity mind
with my half-million-dollar
ego booster.
This could be the most
impractical car in the world,
but are most celebrities
practical?
No.
This car shouts,
"look at me, world!
I've done something notable
in some regard.
"
The Bentley's
all about craftsmanship.
The leather in here
is made from 11 different hides.
It's like a small herd has gone
into the interior of this car.
That Porsche? Please.
That's a real-estate
developer from Sacramento
trying to convince girls
half his age
that he was a Navy S.
E.
A.
L.
and
his wife doesn't understand him.
I think for this car, I was
kind of picturing like a Matt Damon.
I mean, Seinfeld has
a lot of these already.
He's in New York.
Damon's in New York.
For a celebrity in New York,
it just gets the job done.
George Clooney.
Kobe Bryant.
Justin Bieber.
Bieber would love this thing.
Sir Elton John.
The queen of england.
Which I think
is the same person.
Beyoncé would love this car.
You could even put a baby seat
right here.
It would be great, honestly,
if it was like Paris Hilton
or Lindsay Lohan.
Someone that makes questionable
decisions would love this car.
We arrived
for our first challenge,
where we'd also be getting
our first clue
to who
our mystery celebrity was.
All right.
"Your celebrity client is a huge
golf fan "and has been described
"as one of the most
well-groomed stars in America.
"To prove your super car can
haul *** to the golf course
"and keep a celebrity camera-ready,
you will race a golf ball
hit by a professional.
"
How you doing?
"You must beat the golf ball 250 yards
wearing the contents of the box.
"
Holy crap.
Oh.
Oh, it's just
It's a rat's nest.
Yeah.
It's like a hairpiece.
Is it human?
It's a toupee.
- Our celebrity wears a toupee?
- That could be anybody.
Do you guys know how to take
the tops down on your cars?
Ew.
Mnh-mnh.
Oh.
Oh, it's one of those.
Oh, it's one of those.
Okay.
One button.
Be a button.
Be just a button.
There it is.
Ah!
Ha ha!
I think that's that.
That's how that works.
Really?!
Okay.
Getting tight on me, gramp.
He knows his way around
a '78 Volkswagen
like nobody's business.
Mm-hmm.
You get him around a $400,000 car
It's like a tent.
You went to school for
Yeah.
Oh!
Look how easy that was.
That took no time at all.
- Yeah, you win.
- What are you gonna do with that?
I'm just gonna leave this
over in the grass for a minute.
- 25 grand, and you leave it on
the grass.
- It's fine.
Since Rut finished
last, we made him go first.
This is it.
I'm in an Italian super car
racing an American
hitting a gold ball,
and I look like I'm Canadian.
You know, the wig actually
works with that car.
It kind of does.
Let's do it.
Okay, Rut.
Here we go.
In three, two, one.
Go!
Second gear, here we go!
Straight at us.
Yeah, that's not good.
Here we go! Yeah!
There goes my hair!
Oh.
Damn it.
Oh, my gosh.
That thing's fast.
Yeah.
That was really fast.
But useless.
Lost his hair.
No good.
Valiant try, my friend.
I'll be honest, it was violent.
The suction is incredible.
I thought I lost my shirt.
You're up next.
Okay.
Look out for flying balls,
fellas.
Look at this.
I feel like I'm mourning
the loss of my husband,
so I took the money
and bought a Bentley.
God, I miss Lou.
If there's any car that's gonna keep
the hairpiece, it's the Bentley.
That's what I think.
But he's not gonna get the golf ball.
No way.
That's what this is all about.
That thing doesn't have enough power.
John, you ready?
Ready!
Wait a minute.
Bend your knees.
Follow through.
All right, Adam.
Here we go.
In three, two, one.
Go!
Here it comes.
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
Hair on! Hair on!
Hair on!
Here's the ball.
Here's the ball.
Yes!
Wow.
Ha ha!
I still got my hair!
Wow.
It smoked him, didn't it?
See, I beat the ball, which
is much more important.
You lost huge.
Ball was gone.
Wasn't even close.
All right.
But my hair's on, and I look good.
Yeah, but you're late.
Look, if you want to show up
on time with your hair,
get a Porsche.
- You forgot your hair.
- Get a good look at that.
You're gonna be wearing
one of those
in about five more years.
Thanks.
Hey, it happens
to a lot of guys.
Not to me, but it happens
to a lot of guys.
Yeah.
It's genetic.
All right.
Here's the deal
This is one of the fastest
production cars on the planet.
If Rutledge
can beat that golf ball,
then I can beat that golf ball.
The problem
is keeping the wig on.
So that's
why I'm gonna bring this up,
which will block the air
from coming this direction.
But, you know,
this kind of fits, actually.
I used to have a hairdo
like this
when I was a ski bum in vail,
except it was orange.
Okay.
We're good to go, John.
Oh, man.
Pressure is on.
Here we go, Tanner.
Three, two, one.
Go!
Coming up,
the clues get weirder
Guys
Is that a sit 'n' scoot?
As we head
to New York City
to meet up
with our celebrity client.
To deliver
three expensive convertibles
to a celebrity buyer.
Along the way,
the challenges we'd face
would give us clues
to who it was.
The first test we faced
was racing a golf ball
down a runway
wearing a hairpiece.
My half-million-dollar
Murciélago
had beaten the ball
but lost me the wig.
There went my hair!
Adam's Bentley
had kept his wig on
but couldn't outrun the ball.
Yes!
Now it was Tanner's turn
in his 911 Turbo.
I'd like the ball to beat Tanner
and for him to lose his hair.
- Is that possible?
- I think so.
I hope so.
Here we go, Tanner.
Go!
Go!
Go, go, go, go!
Where's the ball?
Where's the ball?
That thing is fast.
Yeah!
Was that a fist pump?
Yeah.
Girl power.
And the hair is still on!
Why does he do this?
And he thinks he's not
a showoff, for the record.
Yeah!
You look like
Danny Bonaduce
from "The Partridge Family.
"
Yeah.
What is this?
Why did you put
a wind screen up?
Does yours
not have one of those?
No.
Well, that would mean
that it's not suited
for celebrity usage,
I'm afraid.
However, you guys are clearly
deflecting from the point.
Not only did I blow the doors
off the golf ball,
I also got there looking good.
That one got you.
I got to be honest, that was so
cool, outrunning the golf ball.
Did you think it was possible?
I had no idea
we could do that.
We.
By we, you mean the two of us.
Yes.
I had no idea.
Yeah, that was great.
Yeah.
I'm so happy
for the both of you.
I have to get you a card.
I really do.
Yeah.
That would be nice.
All right, let's try and
figure out who the celebrity is.
So, what do we know?
All right.
So far,
we know that they like golf.
Mm-hmm.
They've got great hair.
Oh!
I got nothing.
Yeah.
Let's just hope
that this next challenge
tells us more
about who they might be.
So it was one to nothing
for my 911.
Our next challenge was 30 miles
away at a private racetrack.
The drive there was
prime super car territory
Beautiful
winding, country roads
past picture-perfect villages.
I was loving it.
Oh, yeah.
Now we are talking.
Rutledge's experience
was different.
Oh, boy.
Daddy's getting a little bit
nauseous on this road.
Oh, boy.
The Lamborghini rides
like a mechanical bull.
I'm going to hurl.
Guys, I got to pull over
for a minute.
I'm about to throw up.
Are you really?
Oh, the [Bleep] Manure.
Take a picture of me
with the sheep.
Oh, God.
That smells so bad.
Come on.
Son of a
I wanted to get in here.
You all right?
I'm great.
I'm just stretching.
Luckily for Rutledge,
it was only a few miles
to the racetrack
where we'd be competing
in our next challenge
and getting another clue
to our celebrity's identity.
Look at that bank turn.
That is awesome.
"Your celebrity client
requires a car
that's easy to get in and out of
and straightforward to drive.
"
You're out.
"To find out which of your cars
best meets theses needs,
"you will each do two laps
of the track.
"However, one of those laps
will be driven by a co-driver.
Lowest combined time
wins.
"
Co-driver?
Guys.
Oh, wow.
Is that a sit 'n' scoot?
Wait, if these
are our co-drivers,
does that mean our celebrity
is really old?
I thought I smelled bengay.
They're talking about us.
They can hear you.
They can't hear us.
They have hearing aids.
They turn
those things up.
It's like bionic.
Hi, ladies.
Hello.
Whoa!
You're ready to go, aren't you?
Look at this daredevil.
I'm Tanner.
Hello.
I'm Mary.
- Ellie.
- Hi, Ellie.
Adam.
Nice to see you.
I don't know how to ask this.
Do you guys still drive?
Yeah.
Yes, I do.
I do.
Absolutely.
I noticed what?
That's a fair question.
Have you ever been
in a Lamborghini?
A who?
Okay.
Perfect.
Who is it?
I think we should go
in the Porsche, Hetty.
Which one is that?
Mary? I think me and you should
go in the Bentley.
All right.
Oh, my God.
Hetty, let's go.
Ellie?
What?
Beautiful, that leaves you and me.
In what?
We're gonna go in the Lamborghini.
The whom?
We had a few minutes
before the race
to get our co-drivers
acquainted with our cars.
Just watch your head
on the door.
There you go.
Yes.
Okay.
Perfect.
Are you okay?
Whoa.
Oh, my goodness.
Where's the ambulance?
So, we come in here high, right?
So you slow in.
Okay.
Then you go fast.
Balls out.
Balls out.
Okay.
Whoa.
There you go.
So, this goes up a gear
to the next gear.
And this goes down a gear.
Did you hear that?
Right.
Now, does that have
anything to do with the speed?
Yeah.
The faster you go,
the higher gear you go into.
It's the same.
You have
a gas pedal and a brake pedal.
Is there a gas pedal?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, there's a gas pedal.
This speed is fine.
This is 25 miles an hour.
That's fine.
Okay.
We are gonna have to race
my friends,
and it's kind of important
that I do well.
That would seem really
fast to you? 30.
Let's do that.
Oh, there we are.
Training was over,
and it was time to race.
Adam was up first in his
old-man car with his old lady.
Wow.
They both look so nervous.
They're so scared.
Deer in headlights.
Why don't you step on the brake?
Oh.
Wait a minute.
Ooh.
[ Laughs ] No, that's the gas.
There's the brake.
Three, two, one.
Go!
That's it, Mary.
Get some, baby!
There you go.
Oh, my gosh.
You see that, Ellie?
Okay.
Coming to the turn.
To the turn.
There's the apex.
And then right out.
Balls out.
Balls out, baby!
That's it.
Oh, Mary.
I think she found the bottom
of the gas pedal there.
Whoa!
Good job.
I hear tires squealing.
What does that mean?
That means that she is gonna
be faster than Adam.
Okay.
Mary's lap was fast,
and she was enjoying herself.
Stop, stop, stop.
But that
was all about to change.
Oh, gosh.
Go, go, go, go, go!
Okay.
I'm okay.
Get in.
You get in.
Is he pushing?
He just scooted her in.
Oh.
No one is safe.
Adam, this is not so good.
This is too fast.
We didn't practice like this, Adam!
Stop! We're almost there, Mary.
We scream, run.
Don't second-guess it.
Just run.
You know what? Let's flip
your handles up just in case.
I want to see my grandchildren.
You will.
We'll go to them right now.
One more turn and we're home.
Don't worry.
All right.
Okay.
Here he comes.
Oh.
Coming in hot.
Coming in hot.
There.
Give me something, girl.
Good job.
We did it!
Yes.
I was up next,
and we had to beat
Adam and Mary's time of 2:50.
Okay.
This is the brake.
Yes.
Where's the gas pedal?
It's on the right.
Oh.
You got it, right?
I got it.
Okay.
Time to beat is 2:50.
Okay.
You ready?
Three
Two
One.
Go!
Full throttle.
Coming up, we find out
just how easy our super cars
are to drive
Whee!
We are flying!
And we hit the big apple.
Two, one.
Go!
Welcome back to "Top Gear.
"
We were on our way
to New York City
to deliver what we thought
was the perfect convertible
for our mystery
celebrity client.
Now, he or she was gonna
just use one of these cars,
and each challenge
was supposed to give us a clue
as to their identity.
Yeah, and our latest
challenge had to do
with a racetrack
and a grandmother.
Which is very confusing.
Does that mean or celebrity
is old or just likes old women?
Ooh.
Could be Ashton kutcher.
He likes old ladies.
That's true.
Now, what were you thinking
about the Lamborghini?
I mean, did you just take
the most expensive car
you could find?
No.
That car's perfect
for a celebrity.
It's over the top,
and you know what?
Me and my granny
are gonna prove it to you,
'cause we're gonna beat
both of you guys on the track.
We were in the middle
of our second challenge,
which was a relay race
around a track
Good job.
With grandmothers
for co-drivers.
Adam had gone first
and set a time of 2:50.
We did it!
Yes.
The plastic surgeon
was up next.
Go!
Full throttle.
- And Hetty's off!
- Whoo!
Keep to the right.
Keep going faster.
Good.
We may have underestimated Hetty.
Wow.
The demon inside Hetty
is coming out.
She is really, really going
for it.
Ellie, you don't have a heart
condition, right? I had.
Really?
Yeah.
Getting ready for your
big moment on the straightaway.
And full throttle.
Right to the floor.
Foot all the way to the floor.
All the way.
All the way down.
All the way to the floor.
Go, go, go.
It's got more than that.
Go, go, go, go, go!
Faster, faster, faster!
Listen to her!
She's opening it up.
Good.
Get ready to brake.
And brake.
Slow it down.
And stop.
Stop.
- Look at her.
Good girl.
- Nice.
Very nice.
Come on out.
Come on out.
I got it.
Nice and easy.
Be a gentleman.
You be a gentleman!
At the halfway point,
our time was 1:50.
I had some work to do.
Oh, my God.
All right.
I think
you were very close there,
but I think we might be
just a little bit behind.
So I'm gonna
have to push through.
Have to make it up.
I trust you.
I trust you.
Oh, my gosh.
That's not the tires.
That's Hetty.
Wow.
This car is so fast.
Faster than I did.
Yes.
That is a good point.
You're doing good?
You're doing okay, right?
Oh, my God.
Poor Hetty.
I'm glad I wasn't in that car.
Hmm.
That was great.
With a time of 2:39, my Porsche
was back in the lead.
On paper, Rut's super-fast
lambo is the car to beat,
but Rut was taking no chances
in getting Ellie pumped.
Just remember we're gonna go
as fast as
As I feel like.
As you feel comfortable.
Absolutely.
But just keep in mind, do you see
those two guys over there? Yeah.
Those are the knuckleheads I'm
trying to beat.
I know that.
I could use a win here, okay?
I hope so.
Ready?
Mm-hmm.
Three
Two
One.
Go!
It's the big one on the right.
Yep.
That's it.
A little more gas.
Little more
gas.
Yeah, to the right.
To the right, to the right,
to the right, to the right.
To the right.
Okay, perfect.
That is 22 miles an hour!
Whee!
We are flying.
It sounds good.
Listen, listen.
Yeah.
I don't think it's
out of first gear, though.
Uh-oh.
We got to stay on the track.
That's 50!
Look at you! Look at you!
Here they come.
Here they come.
Here she comes.
Here she comes.
And stop.
Brakes, brakes, brakes.
Okay.
Come on.
Get out, Ellie!
Hurry!
You're doing so great.
Look at you!
You don't need
that sit 'n' scoot!
At the changeover, there was
still everything to play for.
This was gonna be
the lambo's day.
How fast does he need to go?
He's got to do
a nine-second lap.
I'm sorry.
I just got to make up
a little bit of time here.
Oh!
Get ready.
Get ready.
Attaboy!
That's enough!
All right.
I'm getting out.
Nice work, Rut.
***-up job.
Watch.
Here, just
Bless your heart.
Oh.
Here you go, Ellie.
Oh, you guys are dropping
that off for her.
Just wanted to bring
your scooter.
Did we or did we not
have the time of our lives!?
The time of our lives.
You had a long time of your life.
Well, how long?
of great.
Mm.
So that means
The Porsche is
the easiest super car to drive.
Granny power.
Oh, give me a hug, Hetty.
Oh, how nice.
You did great, Mary.
We came in second.
Thank you very much.
Take care.
You can get home
on that scooter.
Oh, thanks.
Bye, Lamborghini.
Bye, Bentley.
We headed out
and learned something new
Whatever their age,
there's no woman on earth
that Tanner doesn't feel
the need to impress.
Be still, my heart.
With two challenges done
and a 2-0 lead,
my 911 was looking
like the perfect chohoice
for our mystery celebrity.
But as we headed to an address
near central park,
we still didn't know for sure
who our client was.
If our celebrity
is Dennis rodman
Rutledge wins.
If it's Dr.
Ruth, Adam wins.
Everything in between
falls in the category
of the Porsche Turbo.
I'm just playing
the percentages, here.
That's all.
It's just science.
Gentlemen, welcome to my town.
Hey, it's really windy!
Put your head back down!
It's really windy!
All right, Adam.
Maybe you should get
in the front.
I'm not exactly sure
where we're headed.
Don't take the fdr.
They're working on the fdr.
Don't go on the
I'm already on the fdr.
I'm committed.
Where are we?
I don't know.
And Adam's not behind you?
No.
I think Adam took
a little new yorker's shortcut.
Lost in New York City
in a $400,000 car.
My lambo is great at going fast
and standing still,
but anything in between
was proving to be
a little more complicated.
Violent!
I feel like a should put
a piece of wood in your mouth
so you don't
bite your tongue off.
I may have made a mistake.
Driving this car
in New York City
may not be the best idea ever.
Clutch.
Clutch getting
a little sore.
Can't drive a stick?
No, I swear.
It's automatic!
You don't have to explain
yourself to strangers.
It's cool.
I just wish I knew
where we were going.
I mean, Adam's the new yorker.
I'm following
the California boy, here.
Oh, yeah,
let's get in this Lane.
Adam's driving style
makes so much more sense
after having driven
in this city.
I was the first
to arrive at our meeting point.
Something told me
that our celebrity client
had made a few bucks.
But where
were the out-of-towners?
Come on, Tanner.
Come on.
Come on.
Hell, yes.
Three, two, one.
Go!
We're going to jail.
Oh [Bleep] That was awesome.
You can check that box
on the bucket list
for doing a burnout in Manhattan
in a Lamborghini.
All right, I think
we're getting close here.
All right, turning left.
Hey, Adam is here.
I'm pulling up behind
his car right now.
How did you get here?
I told you, don't take the fdr.
I was already in the FDR.
Don't take the FDR.
They're working on it.
It's Trump.
Of course it's Trump.
The hair and the grandma thing.
Golf.
Money.
- It all makes sense.
- It totally does.
Guys.
Guys.
That's him.
Oh, my gosh.
It's Donald Trump.
Coming up,
the Donald goes car shopping
But this is quicker.
It's quicker, not faster.
And things get tense
in the board room.
I'm gonna fire you.
We had been asked
by a high-end dealer
to drive three convertibles
to New York
to present to Donald Trump, who
is in the market for a new car.
Around 14 million cars
are sold every year in the U.
S.
But only 300 of those
are Lamborghinis.
It's really windy!
That's why
my choice was perfect.
It was exclusive.
Tanner's Porsche may have been
the fastest and simplest
to drive in the challenges,
but it would all come down
to the Donald.
He's so much taller
than I thought he was.
Oh, I smell bad.
I don't smell very good.
You do smell.
Am I sweating? Yes!
You're sweating.
It's terrible.
Hello, fellas.
Mr.
Trump, how are you?
Nice to see you.
Rutledge wood.
Nice to meet you.
Tanner foust.
Nice to meet you.
Adam ferrara.
Nice to meet you, Mr.
Trump.
We understand you're in the
market for a new convertible,
so we'd like to present
our cars to you.
Let me see what you have.
Let's start right over here.
This exquisite machine
is the Lamborghini Murciélago
Roadster.
less than 200 made a year.
Elegance, class.
It's a beautiful car.
And I actually had one.
You had one?
I had one.
Hmm.
Very interesting.
Okay.
What do you have?
I know you weren't necessarily
impressed with that,
but this is
the 2011 Turbo s cabriolet.
This is a driver's car.
It's the quickest
out of the bunch.
Zero to 60 in 2.
7 seconds.
What do you think? Come here a minute.
You agree this is quicker than that?
It is not, sir.
I'm not saying he's a liar,
but that's not true.
Zero to 60
in 2.
7 seconds.
This only goes 196.
But this is quicker.
It's quicker, not faster.
It's quicker.
Listen, Mr.
Trump,
while the children are arguing,
may I show you a man's car?
Let's go.
Bentley Continental GTC.
This car combines
luxury, prestige,
with a racing heritage.
The interior
is made by coach builders.
This car has plenty
of ground clearance,
so you won't
be scraping anywhere,
and it's also economical.
Out of the three of them,
this one did the best on gas.
Okay, but I'll see you
up in the office.
Sound good?
Thank you, fellas.
Thank you, sir.
Very good.
Pleasure to meet you.
See you later.
Okay.
We just got invited
to the board room.
We're going to the board room.
Come on.
Come on.
Board room?
Are you kidding me?
All right, so,
pick your favorite
A Porsche, a Bentley,
or a Lamborghini.
Hmm.
That's a hard one.
Porsche.
No.
Lamborghini.
All right, it's time now
for "big star, small car,"
and our star today is an actor,
he's a singer,
and a Gulf war vet.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr.
jon huertas.
Thank yoyou.
Welcome.
Thank you very much.
Thanks for having me.
Are you ready to get out there
and turn some laps?
Yeah.
I am.
We'll see you in
the hangar when you're done.
Good luck.
If I crash the car,
do I have to pay for it?
The fastest time
on our track so far
is 1:41
by Patrick warburton.
Let's see
if jon can take him down.
Come on, baby.
Here we go.
A lot of speed
into this first
Wow.
You got to be brave
to get through there.
Nice speed.
Really technical turn
right there.
Cut this one nice and tight.
Slide in.
Now, this gets so complicated
here at the teardrop,
'cause you got to down-shift,
you're braking
with your left foot,
gas with your right.
This is where
a lot of people lose it.
Man.
Oh.
Watch out for that bird.
Getting up as much speed here
as you can on the back stretch.
And this next part
is where you got to get brave.
Wow.
I'm going fast.
This is crazy.
Push a lot of speed
into this corner
while you're turning
into the left.
Wait, why'd I turn
my windshield wipers on?
This is ridiculous.
Windshield wipers
obviously not gonna help.
Look ahead.
Look ahead.
Third gear.
Open it up.
Flat out.
He's trying to remember all
the stuff the stig taught him.
Let the car rotate,
and he's across the line.
Come on up, jon.
Jon huertas!
How you doing, man?
Have a seat.
So
How was it out on the track?
It was a lot scarier than I
thought it was gonna be.
Really?
A suzuki was scary?
Well, I'm not a racecar driver.
Decided that today.
Well, we'll get to your lap.
Now, in high school,
you were the man.
I don't know if I was the man.
Come on.
You worked at sears, right?
Well, that's not
Let me rephrase that.
I don't mean that, necessarily.
That made me the man.
No, but that meant
you had money for a car.
It's true.
I worked at sears,
and I had, like a commission
job, like a sales job.
I was one of the rich kids
in school
without having rich parents.
You know, I was able
to go buy my own car
and take, you know, girls out
and pay for everything.
And what did you buy?
A volkswagen jetta g.
L.
I.
I love that car still.
I crashed it
going 85 miles an hour.
How'd that turn out?
It hurt.
When you were in the military,
you had kind of
what I would call a dude phase.
You had
a canary-yellow mustang gt.
Yeah.
I had that car
for many years.
You know,
I brought it to L.
A.
with me,
had my little puerto rican flag
hanging on the mirror.
It was a fast machine.
It was a hot rod.
It was a muscle car.
Now, when you had
that canary-yellow mustang gt,
did you ever get in any trouble
with it or have any problems?
Well,
this one time in L.
A.
,
a friend of mine
We were going to a party,
and we were going to pick up
another friend.
We were driving through Hollywood
or up towards Hollywood.
We stop at a stoplight,
and up next to us
pulls this like small Chevy
blazer pick-up truck thing,
pulls up next to us.
And the guy's wearing
a fu balaclava,
like, on his head with just
the eyes showing.
Ski mask.
I just happened to glance over,
and the guy's
just staring at me.
And I'm like,
"look at this guy.
"
Tell my friend,
"check this guy out.
"
My friend looks over at him.
Now he's staring at my friend.
The light turns green.
I take off.
And the guy jumps in behind me.
And now I'm looking in my rear-view
mirror.
"This guy's crazy.
"
I see him reaching behind
the seat of his vehicle,
and he pulls out a revolver,
looks at it, puts it down here.
Pulls out another one.
Puts it in
"What the hell?"
So, I, like, you know, speed up
and go, you know, faster.
We think we've gotten away,
but I'm still flooring it,
and we're coming out
across Santa Monica boulevard.
And right when we come out,
this bus just lays on the horn.
The bus just barely misses us,
and then we drive
to my friend's house, you know.
We were supposed to be
picking him up,
and I'm like,
"we got to take your car, man.
"
He's like, "why?!"
"Because we just got, like,
chased by some crazy maniac,
and he knows I have
a canary-yellow mustang!"
Yeah.
I mean, how many canary-yellow
mustangs could there be?
There wasn't many of them.
With a puerto rican flag hanging.
With a puerto
Hey, so, how do you think
your lap went?
Do you feel
like it was pretty solid?
You know what?
I don't brag.
So I'm gonna say
it was probably fair.
When you say fair,
- where would fair be on this board
to you? - Here's the thing.
Look, the network that I work
for I had to hold back.
Oh, really?
On Monday, I've got to go to work.
And they heard about me
doing this show, and they said,
"look, don't open it up.
We don't want anything
to happen to you,"
'cause, you know, that track's
got loose gravel on it.
I can tumble
right off into the grass.
A lot of people think these
might be excuses moneymaker.
What you're throwing out.
Do you guys want to know
what his time was?
Jon, you did it in 1 minute
Tying with bill engvall.
Congratulations, man.
That's a good time.
Jon huertas, everybody.
Coming up, we battle it out
in the board room with the Donald.
That's it?
Donald Trump is one of
the most famous men in America,
and everything he does
is different,
including how he buys cars.
A high-end dealer
in new england had asked us
to drive three convertibles
to New York City
so that Mr.
Trump could pick
the one he liked best.
Adam had driven
a Bentley Continental;
Tanner a Porsche Turbo;
and me
a Lamborghini Murciélago.
The moment of truth
had arrived,
and after a series
of challenges,
we were ready
to speed-pitch the Donald.
We're in the club, man.
Don't blow this for me.
Okay, gentlemen.
So, let's go.
The Continental G was made by Bentley.
Bentley has a racing heritage.
It's a very luxurious
automobile.
It has everything you need.
I know you like to golf.
You can fit two sets
of golf clubs in the trunk.
The car also has a top speed
of 194 miles an hour.
Let's say Warren buffett pulls
up next to you at a light.
You can smoke him
and still make your tee time.
Let me hear
about the Lamborghini.
Sir, I don't need to tell you.
You're a man
whose time is money,
and when you need
to get somewhere quickly,
I'd rather get there the fastest
I can looking the best I can.
And the Lamborghini Murciélago
Roadster does that.
So, on the assumption I have bags
or golf clubs, where do I put them?
I got to be honest, sir,
I just don't believe
Does it have room for them?
It doesn't,
unless you were playing miniature golf.
What about the passenger seat?
You could put it
in the passenger seat.
You can even put a baby seat
in the passenger seat.
Okay.
Tell me about the Porsche.
Now, the Porsche
is the incognito super car.
This is not the car
that's gonna be super flashy.
Like I said, it's
the quickest of the bunch.
But not the fastest.
Not the fastest,
but when you are going at speed
with the top off,
it is the most comfortable.
You have to be
camera-ready
when you get to
where you're going.
This is a car that won't,
you know, uh
Um, disturb that.
It also is the best
What about the clubs?
Passenger seat with a seatbelt.
That's it?
You have any carry-on luggage
capacity in the Lamborghini?
I would say at least
a briefcase, maybe two.
I mean, keep in mind,
it's a car so easy to drive
that a grandmother
An 86-year-old grandmother
could drive it.
Right.
Now, the Bentley
has plenty of luggage capacity.
Yes.
The Bentley is
the only car you will need.
The Bentley has plenty
of luggage capacity.
It's comfortable.
You can bring people with you.
Tanner's a racecar driver.
He's a lonely man.
He doesn't need to have
other people with him.
He's lonely because
he can't get women,
or he can't get a boyfriend?
No.
Is it women or a boyfriend?
It's women.
I think he prefers
to only have one seat
and it only be there for
a week or two.
Okay.
Thank you, fellas.
Great honor.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I've never been fired
from a job before.
I find that hard to believe.
This feels weird.
Okay, gentlemen.
So, I saw three beautiful cars.
Not bad.
I really do like
all three cars.
I understand all three cars.
I've driven all three cars
many, many times.
But I'm a pretty big guy.
I'm 6'3".
So
I'm gonna fire you.
I'm gonna fire you.
And, Bentley, you're hired.
- Thank you, Mr.
Trump.
Have a good time.
- Thank you, fellas.
It was a great honor.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I just got fired
by Donald Trump.
This is the best day ever.
I tell you, what a lovely man.
I don't get
very starstruck often,
but sitting in the board room
was like a deer in headlights,
you know? He was a lot taller
than I thought he was gonna be,
and he has excellent taste,
because he chose the Bentley.
I think in a way
that I may have actually won
because I hit the nail
on the head.
I chose something for him that
he'd already bought for himself.
Yep.
That he realized
he made a mistake.
And he sold it.
Really,
the Porsche should've won.
I won the granny test,
I won the golf test,
and it didn't make me puke.
Ha!
And the Bentley
As soon as Donald gets in there,
realizes that poof
He's just aged 20 years,
he's gonna call you up
and fire you.
He's gonna call meand rehire me.
That's what's gonna happen.
Damn it, I didn't see that coming.
That's exactly what's gonna happen.
And that's all we've got time for.
Thank you.