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ACT ONE
1. "I GUESS IT WAS 5 A.M."
JOE (V.O.)
I guess it was five a.m.
A homicide had been reported
From one of those crazy mansions up on Sunset
Tomorrow every front page
Is going to lead with this story
You see an old time movie star is involved
Maybe the biggest star of all
But before you read about it
Before it gets distorted
By those Hollywood piranhas
If you wanna know the real facts
You've come to the right party
Let me take you back six months
I was at the bottom of the barrel
I'd had a contract down at Fox
But I'd fallen foul of Darryl
Now I had a date at Paramount
Along with about a thousand other writers
If it didn't come up roses
I'd be covering funerals
Back in Dayton, Ohio
I'd hidden my car three blocks away
Turned out to be a smart move.
2. LET'S HAVE LUNCH
JOE
Hi there, Myron
MYRON
How's it hanging?
JOE
I've got a date with Sheldrake
MYRON
I'm shooting a Western down at Fox
JOE
How can you work with Darryl?
MYRON
We should talk
JOE
Gotta run
BOTH
Let's have lunch
MARY
Hi, Mr. Gillis
JOE
You look great!
MARY
I'm up for an audition
JOE
Sheldrake is driving me insane
MARY
Don't forget me when you're casting
JOE
We should talk
MARY
Gotta run
BOTH
Let's have lunch
JOE MARY
Morning, Joanna Hi there, Myron
JOANNA MYRON
Who are you meeting? You look great
JOE MARY
Sheldrake, but do I need it? I've spent the last month fasting
JOANNA MYRON
I'm handing in my second draft I'm shooting a Western down at Fox
JOE MARY
I'd really love to read it Don't forget me when you're casting
JOANNA MYRON
We should talk We should talk
JOE MARY
Gotta run Gotta run
BOTH BOTH
Let's have lunch Let's have lunch
JOE
Yeah, I have an appointment with Mr. Sheldrake.
JONES
Name?
JOE
Gillis. Joseph Gillis.
JONES
All right, sir, you know your way?
JOE
Yeah.
1ST FINANCEMAN
We want the keys to your car
2ND FINANCEMAN
You're way behind with the payments
1ST FINANCEMAN
Don't give us any fancy footwork...
2ND FINANCEMAN
Give us the keys.
JOE
I only wish I could help
I loaned it to my accountant
He has an important client down in Palm Springs
Felt like shooting the breeze
1ST FINANCEMAN
Are you telling us you walked here?
JOE
I believe in self-denial
I'm in training for the priesthood
2ND FINANCEMAN
O.K., wise guy, three hundred bucks.
1ST FINANCEMAN
Or we're taking the car.
2ND FINANCEMAN
We have a court order.
JOE
I love it when you talk dirty.
SAMMY
Bless you, Joseph
JOE
That you, Sammy?
SAMMY
How do you like my harem?
JOE
How come you get such lousy breaks?
SAMMY
One learns to grin and bear 'em
GIRLS
This is the biggest film ever made.
JOE
What're you playing?
ANITA
Temple ***
DAWN
Handmaiden to Delilah
JOE
Let's have lunch
Gotta run
You've got to find me a job
I'm way behind with my payments
I thought you were meant to be my agent
I need some work
MORINO
I only wish I could help
This town is dead at the moment
There's been this slowdown in production...
JOE
Who is this jerk?
MORINO
He's my wunderkid from Broadway
Every major studio wants him
YOUNGER MAN
Playing one against the other...
JOE
What I need is three hundred bucks
MORINO
Maybe what you need is a new agent.
JOE
Hello, Artie
ARTIE
Joe, you ***!
JOE
You never call me any more
ARTIE
Found a cuter dancing partner
How are things?
JOE
Not so great
ARTIE
Will this help?
Twenty bucks?
JOE
Thanks, you're a pal.
ALL
Good morning, Mr. DeMille.
MYRON
Good morning, C.B.
SHELDRAKE
This is Sheldrake
Bring some water
Get me that *** Nolan
Nolan, sweetheart
Great to talk
This draft is so much brighter
You're the best
Even so
I've hired another writer
SECRETARY
Mr. Gillis.
SHELDRAKE
Joe! What the *** brings you here?
JOE
You wanted to see me.
SHELDRAKE
I did? What about?
JOE
"Bases Loaded." It's an outline for a baseball picture.
SHELDRAKE
So, pitch.
JOE
It's about a rookie shortstop. He's batting .347. The kid was once mixed up in a holdup. Now he's trying to go straight.
SHELDRAKE
Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I think I have read this.
Somebody, bring in what we've got on...
JOE
"Bases Loaded."
SHELDRAKE
..."Bases Loaded."
JOE
They're pretty hot for it over at Twentieth.
SHELDRAKE
Good!
JOE
But can you see Ty Power as a shortstop?
ENSEMBLE
Let's have lunch
BETTY
Here's that "Bases Loaded" materical, Mr. Sheldrake. I made a two-page synopsis for you, but I wouldn't bother to read it.
SHELDRAKE
Why not?
BETTY
It's just a rehash of something that wasn't very good to begin with.
SHELDRAKE
Meet Mr. Gillis. He wrote it.
ENSEMBLE
We should talk
SHELDRAKE
This is Miss Kramer.
BETTY
Schaefer. Betty Schaefer. And right now, I'd like to crawl into a hole and pull it in after me.
JOE
If I could be of any help...
BETTY
I'm sorry, Mr. Gillis, I couldn't see the point of it.
JOE
What sort of material do you suggest? James Joyce? Dostoyevsky?
BETTY
I think pictures should at least try to say a little something.
JOE
I see you're one of the message kids. I expect you'd have turned down "Gone With the Wind".
SHELDRAKE
No, that was me.
ENSEMBLE
Gotta run
BETTY
And I guess I was disappointed. I've read some of your other work and I thought you had some real talent.
JOE
Yeah, that was last year. This year I felt like eating.
BETTY
Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Gillis.
SHELDRAKE
Thank you, Miss Kramer.
Well, looks like Zanuck's got himself a baseball picture.
ENSEMBLE
We should talk
Gotta run
Let's have lunch
JOE
You've got to give me some work
I'll take whatever's on offer
There must be some *** that needs a rewrite
Throw it my way
SHELDRAKE
I only wish I could help
There's no spare *** at the moment
Remember the greatest writers starved in Garrets
Didn't care about pay
JOE
Are you trying to be funny?
SHELDRAKE
I believe in self-denial
Gives a man some moral backbone
JOE
Can you loan me three hundred bucks?
SHELDRAKE
I'm sorry, Gillis. Good-bye.
JOE
I just love Hollywood.
MYRON
Morning, Joanna
CLIFF
Where've you been hiding?
SAMMY
Hi there, Lisa
MYRON
How're you doing?
KATHERINE
I hate this weather
CLIFF
You look great
LIZ
RKO are O.K.!
MARY
What're you doing?
JOANNA
You look great
GIRLS
This is the biggest film ever made
CLIFF
I'm trying to make my mind up
MARY
Guess I was born to play her
DAWN
What is my motivation?
JOANNA
You look great
SAMMY
They're talking nominations
LIZ
You should go work for Warners'
MYRON
Is your new script with Sheldrake?
MORINO
I'm very close to Sheldrake
ARTIE
We shoot next month
SAMMY, SANDY, ARTIE, MORINO, MYRON
Gotta run
JOHN
Let's drive to Vegas this weekend
KATHERINE, JOANNA
Let's have lunch
ANITA
You look great
JOANNA
I'm handing in my second draft
MARY
It's between me and Dietrich
KATHERINE
I've landed a big Broadway show
ADAM
I'm gonna work for Metro
CLIFF
Let's have lunch
MARY
Let's have lunch
GIRLS
Let's have lunch, this is the biggest film ever made
MYRON
I'd really love to read it
CLIFF
I'd know just how to light you
JOHN
Let's have lunch
JOHN/LISA
It won't work
MORINO
Let's pencil Thursday morning
GROUP 1
We should talk
GROUP 2
Gotta run
CHORUS
Let's have lunch!
Hi, good morning. Aren't we lucky?
Going to work with Cukor
Paramount is paradise
Movies from A to Zukor
We should talk, gotta run
GROUP 1
Let's have lunch
GROUP 2
We should talk
GROUP 1
Gotta run
GROUP 2
Gotta run
ALL
Let's have lunch!
3. EVERY MOVIE'S A CIRCUS
JOE
Come to get your knife back?
It's still right there, right between my shoulder blades.
BETTY
I read
One of your stories
Wasn't it Scribner's
Some magazine.
Title -
Something with windows.
JOE
It was "Blind Windows"
If that's what you mean
BETTY
That's right
I really liked it
JOE
I'm all warm and runny inside
BETTY
Let me pitch it to Sheldrake
JOE
I may be broke
But I still have my pride
BETTY
Come on.
Get off your high horse
Writers with pride don't live in L.A.
Silence
Exile and cunning
Those are the only cards you can play
JOE
Sheldrake won't buy this story
He likes trash with fairy lights
Jesus, think of the effort
Trying to get him to heighten his sights
BETTY
Every movie's a circus
Can't we discuss this
Schwab's Thursday night?
JOE
What for?
Nothing will happen
I gotta go now
Fight the good fight
BETTY
What's the rush?
JOE
See those gorillas?
BETTY
Yes, what about them?
JOE
Do me a terrific favour
Keep them amused while I escape
BETTY
If you're at Schwab's on Thursday
JOE
Done. Look, those guys are after my car. If I lose that in this town, it's like having my legs cut off.
BETTY
Let's duck into the soundstage.
1ST FINANCEMAN
Come on, Gillis, give us the keys.
BETTY
Shhh! Please be quiet, Mr. DeMille is shooting right over there.
1ST FINANCEMAN
So what?
BETTY
He's working on "Samson and Delilah": they're doing a red-hot scene with Hedy Lamarr. You want to stay and watch?
1ST FINANCEMAN
No.
2ND FINANCEMAN
Relax, we got five minutes.
BOTH FINANCEMEN
Hey, hey, come back here...
ACT ONE cont...
4. CAR CHASE
5. AT THE HOUSE ON SUNSET
JOE
What a lovely sight! At the end of the driveway: a great big empty garage.
This thing must burn up ten gallons to a mile.
Christ, where am I?
I had landed
In the garden of some palazzo
Like an abandoned movie set
VOICE
You there!
Why are you so late?
MAX
This way.
JOE
Hey look, buddy, I just pulled my car...
MAX
And wipe your feet!
VOICE
Max! Tell him to wait!
MAX
You heard.
If you need my help with the coffin, call me.
JOE
Hey, wait a minute... Hey, buddy...
NORMA
Any laws against burying him in the garden?
JOE
I wouldn't know.
NORMA
I don't care anyway.
6. SURRENDER
NORMA
No more wars to fight
White flags fly tonight
You are out of danger now
Battlefield is still
Wild poppies on the hill
Peace can only come when you surrender
Here the tracers fly
Lighting up the sky
But I'll fight on to the end
Let them send their armies
I will never bend
I won't see you now 'til I surrender
I'll see you again when I surrender
Now don't you give me a fancy price just because I'm rich.
JOE
Look, lady, you've got the wrong man.
I had some trouble with my car, I just pulled into your driveway.
NORMA
Get out.
JOE
O.K. And I'm sorry you lost your friend.
NORMA
Get out of here.
JOE
Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
NORMA
Or shall I call my servant?
JOE
Aren't you Norma Desmond? You used to be in pictures.
You used to be big.
NORMA
I am big. It's the pictures that got small.
Once upon a time
Not long ago
The head of any studio
Knew how and when to play his aces
Now they put some
Talentless unknown
Beneath their sacred microphone
We didn't need words
We had faces
Yes, they took all the idols and smashed them
The Fairbanks, the Gilberts, the Valentinos
They trampled on what was divine
They threw away the gold of silence
When all they needed was this face of mine
JOE
Hey! Don't blame me, I'm just a writer.
7. WITH ONE LOOK
NORMA
With one look
I can break your heart
With one look
I play every part
I can make your sad heart sing
With one look you'll know
All you need to know
With one smile
I'm the girl next door
Or the love that you've hungered for
When I speak it's with my soul
I can play any role
No words can tell
The stories my eyes tell
Watch me when I frown
You can't write that down
You know I'm right
It's there in black and white
When I look your way
You'll hear what I say
Yes, with one look
I put words to shame
Just one look
Sets the screen aflame
Silent music starts to play
One tear in my eye
Makes the whole world cry
With one look
They'll forgive the past
They'll rejoice: I've returned at last
To my people in the dark
Still out there in the dark...
Silent music starts to play
With one look you'll know
All you need to know
With one look
I'll ignite a blaze
I'll return to my glory days
They'll say Norma's back at last
This time I am staying
I'm staying for good
I'll be back
Where I was born to be
With one look
I'll be me
8. SALOME
NORMA
Now go.
JOE
Next time I'll bring my autograph album.
NORMA
Just a minute, you.
Did you say you were a writer?
JOE
That's what it says on my guild card.
NORMA
And you're written pictures?
JOE
Sure have. Would you like to see my credits?
NORMA
Come over here. I want to ask you something.
Just what sort of length is a movie script these days?
JOE
Depends.
NORMA
I wrote this. It's a very important picture.
JOE
Look like six very important pictures.
NORMA
It's for DeMille to direct.
JOE
Oh, yeah? And will you be in it?
NORMA
Of course. What do you think?
JOE
Just asking. I didn't know you were planning a comeback.
NORMA
I hate that word. It's a return.
JOE
Well...fair enough.
NORMA
I want you to read it.
JOE
You shouldn't let another writer read your stuff. He may steal it.
NORMA
I'm not afraid. Sit down. Max!
Bring something to drink.
MAX
Yes, Madame.
NORMA
I said sit down!
It's about Salome.
Salome: the story of a woman. The woman who was all women.
Salome, what a woman, what a part!
Innocent body and a sinful heart
Inflaming Herod's ***
But secretly loving a holy man
No one could play her like I can
JOE
Well, I had nothing urgent coming up
I thought I might as well skim it
It's fun to see how bad bad writing can be
This promised to go to the limit
NORMA
There's so many great scenes, I can't wait
A boiling cauldron of love and hate
She toys with Herod
'Til he's putty in her hands
He reels tormented through the desert sands
JOE
It sure was a real cheery set-up
The wind wheezing through that organ
Max shuffling around and a dead ape dumped on a shelf
And her staring like a gorgon
NORMA
They drag the Baptist up from the jails
She dances the dance of the seven veils
Herod says: I'll give you anything
JOE
Now it was time for some comedy relief
The guy with the baby casket
Must have seen a thing or two, that chimp
Shame it was too late to ask it
NORMA
Have you got to the scene where asks for his head?
If she can't have him living
She'll take him dead
They bring in his head on a silver tray
She kisses his mouth. It's a great screenplay!
JOE
It got to be eleven, I was feeling ill
What the hell was I doing?
Melodrama and sweet champagne
And a garbled plot from a scrambled brain
But I had my own plot brewing
Just how old is Salome?
NORMA
Sixteen.
JOE
I see.
NORMA
Well?
JOE
It's fascinating.
NORMA
Of course it is.
JOE
Could be it's a little long
Maybe the opening's wrong
But it's extremely good for a beginner
NORMA
No, it's a perfect start
I wrote that with my heart
The river-bank, the baptist and the sinner
JOE
Shouldn't there be some dialogue?
NORMA
I can say anything I want with my eyes
JOE
It could use a few cuts
NORMA
I will not have it butchered!
JOE
I'm not talking limb from limb
I just mean a little trim
All you need is someone who can edit
NORMA
I want someone with a knack
Not just any studio hack
And don't think for a moment I'd share credit!
When were you born?
JOE
December 21st, why?
NORMA
I like Sagittarians. You can trust them.
JOE
Thanks.
NORMA
I want you to do this work.
JOE
Me? Gee, I don't know, I'm busy. I just finished one script and I'm about to start a new assignment.
NORMA
I don't care.
JOE
I'm pretty expensive. I get five hundred a week.
NORMA
Don't you worry about money. I'll make it worth your while.
JOE
Well, it's getting kind of late.
NORMA
Are you married, Mr...?
JOE
The name is Gillis. Single.
NORMA
Where do you live?
JOE
Hollywood. Alto Nido Apartments.
NORMA
You'll stay here.
JOE
I'll come back early tomorrow.
NORMA
Nonsense, there's a room over the garage. Max will take you there. Max!
MAX
Yes, Madame.
NORMA
Take Mr. Gillis to the guest room.
We'll begin a nine sharp.
JOE
Now this is more like it.
MAX
I made up the bed this afternoon.
JOE
Thanks.
How did you know I was going to stay?
MAX
There's soap and a toothbrush in the bathroom.
JOE
She's quite a character, isn't she, that Norma Desmond?
9. THE GREATEST STAR OF ALL
MAX
Once, you won't remember
If you said Hollywood, hers was the face you'd think of
Her face on every billboard
In just a single week, she's get ten thousand letters
Men would offer
Fortunes for a bloom from her corsage
Or a few strands of her hair
Today, she's half-forgotten
But it's the pictures that got small
She is the greatest star of all
Then, you can't imagine
How fans would sacrifice themselves to touch her shadow
There was a maharajah
Who hanged himself with one of her discarded stockings
She's immortal
Caught inside that flickering light beam
Is a youth which cannot fade
Madame's a living legend;
I've seen so many idols fall
She is the greatest star of all
JOE (V.O.)
When he'd gone, I stook looking out the window for a while. There was the ghost of a tennis court with faded markings and a sagging net. There was an empty pool where Clara Bows and Fatty Arbuckle must have swum 10,000 midnights ago. And then there was something else: the chimp's last rites, as if she were laying a child to rest. Was her life really as empty as that?
10. EVERY MOVIE'S A CIRCUS (Reprise)
ALL
Every movie's a circus
On the wire without a net
JOANNA
Coffee?
MYRON
I'm up too early
Shooting at seven
I gotta go
ALL
Movies
BOY
What's wrong?
GIRL
Can't get a screen test
Don't you hate it
When a yes-man says no?
ALL
Movies
GIRL
Good part?
BOY
I'm a policeman
"Hands up, punk!"
That's all I say
ACTOR
First time you've worked on the lot there
ACTRESS
I must say R.K.O. are O.K.
ALL
Movies
BOY
Then what?
GIRL
He pressed a button
Out of the wall
Fell a four-poster bed
ALL
Movies
MYRON
Busy?
JOANNA
They shot my screenplay
MYRON
Isn't that great?
JOANNA
No, they shot the thing dead
ALL
Every movie's a circus
On the wire without a net
BOY
Lonely?
GIRL
That's how I like it.
BOY
Can't you be nice?
GIRL
Why? We're not on the set.
ALL
Movies
ARTIE
Hey, Joe
What are you, slumming?
JOE
Here for a meeting
ARTIE
This time of night?
ALL
Movies
JOE
Yeah, it's some studio smartass
You know I'm famous for being polite
ALL
Movies
ARTIE
Guess what?
I'm getting married
JOE
Congratulations
ARTIE
She'll be right back
ALL
Movies
ARTIE
Fact is, we were just leaving
She's been stood up by some uppity hack
ALL
Movies
JOE
Married. Who would have thought it?
Why don't you look happy?
Come on, be brave
ALL
Movies
ARTIE
It's this movie I'm shooting
JOE
You first assistant?
ARTIE
More like a slave
ALL
Every movie's a circus
ARTIE
But this is a circus movie as well
Problems, nothing but problems
Animals, actors
Two kinds of hell
ALL
Every movie's a circus
On the wire without a net
BETTY
Well hello, Mr. Gillis
ARTIE
You two have met?
JOE
I'm the uppity hack
ARTIE
And she's the studio smartass
BETTY
What's going on here?
BARMAN
Artie, they're calling you back.
BETTY
I just reread "Blind Windows"
It needs some real re-working, of course
If we fixed up the opening
ARTIE
Call up the wrangler
Pay off the horse
11. GIRL MEETS BOY
JOE
Girl meets boy
That's a safe beginning
BETTY
It's nearly closing
I thought you weren't going to show
JOE
So did I
I felt it might be kinder
BETTY
What are you saying?
JOE
Come on, Miss Schaefer, you know
BETTY
What?
JOE
Every time I see some young kid
Dreaming they'll produce a masterpiece
I just want to throw them on the next train home
BETTY
Never thought
You'd be so condescending
JOE
Sorry, Miss Schaefer
I didn't come here to fight
BETTY
Girl meets boy
If that's how you want it
She's a young teacher
He's a reporter
It's hate at first sight
JOE
It won't sell
These days they want glamour
Fabulous heiress meets handsome Hollywood heel
The problem is
She thinks he's a burglar
Would you believe it?
A wedding in the last reel
BETTY
It doesn't have to be so mindless
You should write from your experience
Give us something really moving;
Something true
JOE
Who wants true?
Who the hell wants moving?
Moving means starving
And true means holes in your shoe
BETTY
No, you're wrong
They still make good pictures
Stick to your story
It's a good story
JOE
O.K., Miss Schaefer:
I give it to you
BETTY
What do you mean?
JOE
Just what I said. I've given up writing myself. So you write it.
BETTY
Oh, I'm not good enough to do it on my own.
But I thought we could write it together.
JOE
I can't. I'm all tied up.
BETTY
Couldn't we work evenings? Six o'clock in the morning? I'd come to your place.
JOE
Look, Betty, it can't be done. It's out.
Let's keep in touch through Artie.
That way if you get stuck, we can at least talk.
Write this down
I'll give you some ground rules
Plenty of conflict
But nice guys don't break the law
Girl meets boy
She gives herself completely
And though she loves him
JOE/BETTY
She keeps one foot on the floor
BETTY
No one dies except the best friend
No one ever mentions communists
No one takes a black friend to a restaurant
JOE
Very good.
Nothing I can teach you.
We could have had fun
Fighting the studio
BETTY
Yes, Mr. Gillis
That's just what I want.
ARTIE
What a nightmare
Good to see you
Come to my new year's party
JOE
Last year it got out of hand
ARTIE
Guaranteed bad behaviour
JOE
See you then
BETTY
Don't give up
You're too good
JOE
Thanks.
12. BACK AT THE HOUSE ON SUNSET
MAX
Where have you been?
JOE
Out. I assume I can go out when I feel like it.
MAX
Madame is quite agitated. Earlier this evening, she wanted you for something and you could not be found.
JOE
Well, that's tough.
MAX
I don't think you understand, Mr. Gillis. Madame is extremely fragile. She has moments of melancholy. There have been suicide attempts.
JOE
Why? Because of her career? She's done well enough. Look at all the fan mail she gets every day.
MAX
I wouldn't look too closely at the postmarks if I were you.
JOE
You mean you write them?
MAX
Will you be requiring some supper this evening, sir?
JOE
No. And Max?
MAX
Yes, sir?
JOE
Who the hell do you think you are, bringing my stuff up from my apartment without consulting me? I have a life of my own - now you're telling me I'm supposed to be a prisoner here.
MAX
I think, perhaps, sir, you will have to make up your mind to abide by the rules of this house. That is, if you want the job.
JOE
I started work on the script
I hacked my way through the thicket
A maze of fragmented ramblings
By a soul in limbo
She hovered there like a hawk
Afraid I'd damage her baby
NORMA
What's that?
JOE
I thought we might cut away from the slave market...
NORMA
Cut away from me?
JOE
Norma, they don't want you in every scene
NORMA
Or course they do. What else would they have come for?
Put it back.
JOE
I'd made my first big mistake
I'd put my foot in the quicksand
It wouldn't be a few days
Paste and scissors
This would take weeks
The house was always so quiet
Just me and Max and that organ
No one phoned and nobody ever came
And there was only one kind
of entertainment on hand
Max, what's on this evening?
I hope it's not one of her weepy melodramas
MAX
We'll be showing
One of Madam's enduring classics
"The Ordeal of Joan of Arc"
JOE
Oh, God.
We saw that last week.
MAX
A masterpiece can never pall
She is the greatest star of all
13. NEW WAYS TO DREAM
NORMA
This was dawn
There were no rules
We were so young
Movies were born
So many songs
Yet to be sung
So many roads
Still unexplored
We gave the world
New ways to dream
Somehow we found
New ways to dream
Joan of Arc:
Look at my face
Isn't it strong?
There in the dark
Up on the screen
Where I belong
We'll show them all
Nothing has changed
We'll give the world
New ways to dream
Everyone needs
New ways to dream
JOE
I didn't argue, why hurt her?
You don't yell at a sleepwalker
Or she could fall and break her neck
She smelled of faded roses
It made me sad to watch her
As she relived her glory
Poor Norma
So happy
Lost in her silver heaven
NORMA
Nothing has changed
We'll give the world
New ways to dream
Everyone needs
New ways to dream
14. COMPLETION OF THE SCRIPT
JOE
In December, the rains came. One great big package, over-sized, just like everything else in California; and it came right through the roof of my room above the garage. So she had me moved into the main house. Into what Max called "the room of the husbands". And on a clear day, the theory was, you could see Catalina. And little by little I worked through to the end of the script. At which point I might have left: only by then those two boys from the finance company had traced my car and towed it away, and I hadn't seen one single dollar of cash money since I arrived.
NORMA
Stop that!
Today's the day.
JOE
What do you mean?
NORMA
Max is going to deliver the script to Paramount.
JOE
You're really going to give it to DeMille?
NORMA
I've just spoken with my astrologer. She read DeMille's horoscope; she read mine.
JOE
Did she read the script?
NORMA
DeMille is Leo; I'm Scorpio. Mars is transiting Jupiter and today is the day of closest conjunction.
JOE
Oh well, that's all right, then.
NORMA
Max.
MAX
Yes, Madame.
NORMA
Make sure it goes to Mr. DeMille in person.
JOE
Well...
NORMA
Great day.
JOE
It's been real interesting.
NORMA
Yes...hasn't it?
JOE
I want to thank you for trusting me with your baby.
NORMA
Not at all, it is I who should thank you.
JOE
Will you call and let me know as soon as you have some news?
NORMA
Call? Where?
JOE
My apartment.
NORMA
Oh, but you couldn't possibly think of leaving now, Joe.
JOE
Norma, the script is finished.
NORMA
No, Joe. No. It's just the beginning, it's just the firt draft. I couldn't dream of letting you go, I need your support.
JOE
Well, I can't stay.
NORMA
You'll stay on with full salary, of course...
JOE
Oh, Norma, it's not the money
Yes, of course, I'll stay until we get some sort of news back from Paramount.
NORMA
Thank you. Thank you, Joe.
JOE
So, Max wheeled out that foreign bus
Brushed the leopardskin upholstery
He trundled along to Paramount
To hand Cecil B. our hopeless opus
My work was over
I was feeling no pain
Locked up like John the Baptist
15. THE LADY'S PAYING
NORMA
Hurry up, the birthday boy is on his way
This is a surprise celebration
I hope you've remembered everything I've said
I want to see a total transformation
JOE
What's all this?
NORMA
Happy birthday, darling. Did you think we'd forgotten?
JOE
Well, I ... I don't know.
NORMA
These people are from the best men's shop in town. I had them close it down for the day.
JOE
Norma, now listen!
NORMA
I'll leave you boys to it.
MANFRED
Happy birthday, welcome to your shopathon!
JOE
What's going on?
MANFRED
Help yourself, it's all been taken care of
Anyone who's anyone is dressed by me
JOE
Well, golly gee
MANFRED
Pick out anything you'd like a pair of
You just point, I'll do the rest
I've brought nothing but the best
You're a very lucky writer
Come along now, get undressed
Unless I'm much mistaken
That's a 42-inch chest
JOE
I don't understand a word you're saying
MANFRED
Well, all you need to know's the lady's paying
It's nice to get your just reward this time of year
JOE
Get outta here!
MANFRED
And all my merchandise is strictly kosher
When you've thrown away all your old worn-out stuff
JOE
Hey, that's enough
MANFRED
Perhaps you'd like to model for my brochure
I have just the thing for you
Chalk-stripe suits
SALESMAN 1
In black
SALESMAN 2
Or blue
SALESMAN 3
Glen plaid trousers
SALESMAN 4
Cashmere sweaters
SALESMAN 5
Bathing shorts for Malibu
SALESMAN 6
Here's a patent leather lace-up
SALESMAN 7
It's a virtuoso shoe
MANFRED
And a simply marvelous coat made of vicuna
JOE
You know what you can do with your vicuna
NORMA
Come on Joe, you haven't even started yet
JOE
You wanna bet?
NORMA
I thought by now he'd look the height of fashion
He always takes forever making up his mind
Don't be unkind
I thought you writers knew about compassion
I love flannel on a man
MANFRED
This will complement his tan
NORMA
We'll take two of these and four of those
MANFRED
I'm still your greatest fan!
Very soon now we'll have stopped him
Looking like an also-ran
JOE
You're going to make me sorry that I'm staying
NORMA
Well, all right, I'll choose, after all, I'm paying!
MANFRED
Evening clothes?
NORMA
I want to see your most deluxe
JOE
Won't wear a tux
NORMA
Of course not, dear, tuxedos are for waiters
MANFRED
What we need are tails, a white tie and top hat
JOE
I can't wear that
NORMA
Joe, second-rate clothes are for second-raters
JOE
Norma, please...
NORMA
Shut up, I'm rich
Now some platinum blonde ***
I own so many apartments
I've forgotten which is which
JOE
I don't have to go to premieres
I'm never on display
You seem to forget that I'm a writer
Who cares what you wear when you're a writer?
NORMA
I care, Joe, and please don't be so mean to me.
JOE
O.K., all right.
NORMA
You can't come to my New Year's Eve party in that filling-station shirt.
JOE
I've been invited somewhere else on New Year's Eve.
NORMA
Where?
JOE
Artie Green. He's an old friend of mine.
NORMA
I can't do without you, Joe, I need you.
I've sent out every single invitation
JOE
All right, Norma, I give in
NORMA
Of course you do
And when they've dressed you
You'll cause a sensation
SALESMEN
We equip the chosen few of Movieland
MANFRED
(The latest cut)
SALESMEN
We dress every movie star and crooner
From their shiny toecaps to their hatband
MANFRED
(Conceal your gut)
You won't regret selecting the vicuna
SALESMEN
If you need a hand to shake
If there's a girl you want to make
If there's a soul you're out to capture
Or a heart you want to break
If you want the world to love you
MANFRED
You'll have to learn to take
SALESMEN
And gracefully accept the role you're playing
MANFRED
You will earn every cent the lady's paying
SALESMEN
So why not have it all?
MANFRED
Now that didn't hurt, did it?
SALESMEN
The lady's paying!
16. NEW YEAR'S EVE
JOE
Max, you've pulled the stops out
It looks like Gala Night aboard S.S. Titanic
Will we play spot the actor?
As if we're visiting a gallery of waxworks?
MAX
Would you rather I mix for you a dry martini
Or shall I open the champage
JOE
Max, don't be so evasive
Who's she invited to the ball?
MAX
Madame herself made every call
NORMA
Here. Happy New Year.
JOE
Norma, I can't take this.
NORMA
Oh, shut up. Open it. Read what it says.
JOE
"Mad about the boy".
NORMA
Yes; and you do look absolutely divine.
JOE
Well, thank you.
NORMA
I had these tiles put in, you know,
because Rudy Valentino said to me, it takes tiles to tango. Come on.
JOE
No, no, not on the same floor as Valentino!
NORMA
Oh come on, come on, come on. Get up. Follow me.
And one, two... and one, two, one two, together. And one.
Don't lean back like that.
JOE
Norma, it's that thing. It tickles.
17. THE PERFECT YEAR
NORMA
Ring out the old
Ring in the new
A midnight wish
To share with you
Your lips are warm
My head is light
Were we alive before tonight?
I don't need a crowded ballroom
Everything I want is here
If you're with me
Next year will be
The perfect year
JOE
Before we play
Some dangerous game
Before we fan
Some harmless flame
We have to ask if this is wise
And if the game is worth the prize
With this wine and with this music
How can anything be clear?
Let's wait and see
It may just be
The perfect year
NORMA
It's New Year's Eve
And hopes are high
Dance one year in
Kiss one goodbye
Another chance, another start
So many dreams to tease the heart
We don't need a crowded ballroom
Everything we want is here
And face to face
We will embrace
The perfect year
We don't need a crowded ballroom
Everything we want is here
And face to face
We will embrace
The perfect year
JOE
So, what time are they supposed to get here?
NORMA
Who?
JOE
The other guests.
NORMA
There are no other guests. Just you and me.
I'm in love with you. Surely you know that
JOE
Norma...
NORMA
We'll have a wonderful time next year. I'll have the pool filled up for you. I'll open up my house in Malibu, and you can have the whole ocean. I have enough money to buy us anything we want.
JOE
Cut out that "us" business.
NORMA
What's the matter with you?
JOE
What right do you have to take me for granted?
NORMA
What right? Do you want me to tell you?
JOE
Norma, what I am trying to say is that I am the wrong guy for you. You need a big shot, someone with polo ponies, a Valentino...
NORMA
What you're trying to say is, you don't want me to love you. Say it! Say it!
JOE
Max. Get me a taxi.
I had to get out
I needed to be with people my own age
To hear the sound of laughter
And mix with hungry actors
Underemployed composers
Nicotine-poisoned writers
Real people
Real problems
Having a really good time
18. THIS TIME NEXT YEAR
ARTIE
Hey, Gillis! We'd give you up.
Let me take your coat
Jesus, Joe, what's this made of? Mink?
Who did you borrow this from? Adolphe Menjou?
JOE
Close, but no cigar.
Hey! It's quite a crowd
ARTIE
I invited all the kids doing walk-ons in "Samson and Delilah".
BETTY
Where have you been hiding? I called your apartment. I called your ex-agent. I was about to call the Bureau of Missing Persons.
JOE
Well, they always know where to find me.
RICHARD A
Hey, Sammy!
You gotta say your New Year's resolution out loud
Jean!
JEAN
By this time next year
I'll have landed a juicy part
STEVE
Nineteen fifty will be my start
RICHARD T
No more carrying spears
MARY
I'll be discovered
My life won't ever be the same
Billy Wilder will know my name
And he'll call all the time
KATHERINE
'Til he does, can one of you guys lend her a dime?
ALISA
Just an apartment
With no roaches and no dry rot
ANITA
Where the hot water comes out hot
BOTH
That's my Hollywood dream
RICHARD A
Your resolution
JOANNA
Is to write something that gets shot
With approximately the plot
I first had in my head
MYRON
But you'll get rewritten even after you're dead
RICHARD A
Artie!
ARTIE
It's the year to begin a new life
Buy a place somewhere quiet, somewhere pretty
When you have a young kid and a wife
Then you need somewhere green, far from the city
It's a rambling old house with a big apple tree
With a swing for the kid and a hammock for me
SAMMY
Behold, my children
It is I, Cecil B. DeMille
Meeting me must be quite a thrill
ADAM
But there's no need to kneel
SAMMY
I guarantee you
Every girl in my chorus line
Is a genuine Philistine
SANDY
They don't come off the shelf
SAMMY
I flew every one in from Philistia myself
BETTY
I have some good news
It's "Blind Windows"
JOE
You don't let go
BETTY
I gave Sheldrake an outline, Joe
And he swallowed the bait
JOE
Well, hallelujah!
BETTY
While you've been buying vicuna coats
I've been making a lot of notes
Now there's work we should do...
JOE
Betty, you're forgetting that I gave it to you
You remind me of me long ago
Off the bus, full of ignorant ambition
Thought I'd waltz into some studio
And achieve overnight recognition
I've seen too many optimists sinking like stones
Felt them suck all the marrow clean out of my bones
BETTY
I love "Blind Windows"
But I can't write it on my own
Can't we speak on the telephone?
All my evenings are free
ARTIE
Hey, just a minute
I'm the fellow who bought the ring
BETTY
Artie, this is a business thing
It's important to me
You'll be on location in Clinch, Tennessee
Please make this your New Year's resolution for me
ALL
By this time next year
I will get my foot in the door
Next year I know I'm going to score
An amazing success
Cut to the moment
When they open the envelope
Pass the statuette to Bob Hope
And it's my name you hear
We'll be down on our knees
Outside Grauman's Chinese
Palm prints there on the street
Immortality's neat!
This time next year
This time next year
We'll have nothing to fear
Contracts all signed
Three-picture deal
Yellow brick road career
Hope we're not still saying these things
This time next year
JOE
You know, I think I will be available in the New Year. In fact, I'm available right now.
BETTY
Joe, that's great!
JOE
Hey, Artie, where's your phone?
ARTIE
Under the bar.
JOE
Hey, Artie. You think you could put me up for a couple of weeks?
ARTIE
It just so happens we've got a vacancy on the couch.
JOE
I'll take it.
MAX
Yes?
JOE
Max, it's Mr. Gillis. I want you to do me a favour.
MAX
I'm sorry, Mr. Gillis. I can't talk right now.
JOE
Listen, I want you to take my old suitcases...
MAX
I'm sorry, I am attending to Madame.
JOE
What do you mean?
MAX
Madame found the razor in your room. And she's cut her wrists.
ALL
Three, two, one, Happy New Year!
Should auld acquiantance be forgot
And never brought to mind
Should auld acquiantance be forgot
And days of auld lang syne
For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne
We'll take a cup of kindness yet
For the sake of auld lang syne
19. NEW YEAR'S EVE (Back at the House on Sunset)
NORMA
Go away.
JOE
What kind of a silly thing was that to do?
NORMA
I'll do it again! I'll do it again! I'll do it again!
JOE
Attractive headline: "Great Star kills herself for Unknown Writer".
NORMA
Great stars have great pride.
You must have some girl, why don't you go to her?
JOE
I never meant to hurt you, Norma. You've been good to me. You're the only person in this stinking town that's ever been good to me.
NORMA
Then why don't you say thank you and go? Go, go! Go!
JOE
Happy New Year.
NORMA
Happy New Year, darling.
ACT TWO
1. ENTR'ACTE
2. SUNSET BOULEVARD
JOE
Sure, I came out here to make my name
Wanted my pool, my dose of fame
Wanted my parking space at Warners'
But after a year, a one-room hell
A murphy bed, a rancid smell
Wallpaper peeling at the corners
Sunset Boulevard
Twisting Boulevard
Secretive and rich, a little scary
Sunset Boulevard
Tempting Boulevard
Waiting there to swallow the unwary
Dreams are not enough to win a war
Out here they're always keeping score
Beneath the tan, the battle rages
Smile a rented smile, fill someone's glass
Kiss someone's wife, kiss someone's ***
We do whatever pays the wages
Sunset Boulevard
Headline Boulevard
Getting here is only the beginning
Sunset Boulevard
Jackpot Boulevard
Once you've won you have to go on winning
You think I've sold out?
Dead right I've sold out
I've just been waiting for the right offer:
Comfortable quarters, regular rations
24-hour five-star room service
And if I'm honest
I like the lady
I can't help being touched by her folly
I'm treading water, taking the money
Watching her sunset...
Well, I'm a writer
L.A.'s changed a lot over the years
Since those brave gold rush pioneers
Came in their creaky covered wagons
Far as they could go, end of the line
Their dreams were yours, their dreams were mine
But in those dreams were hidden dragons
Sunset Boulevard
Frenzied Boulevard
Swamped with every kind of false emotion
Sunset Boulevard
Brutal Boulevard
Just like you we'll wind up in the ocean
She was sinking fast, I threw a rope
Now I have suits, and she has hope
It seemed an elegant solution
One day this must end, it isn't real
Still I'll enjoy a hearty meal
Before tomorrow's execution
Sunset Boulevard
Ruthless Boulevard
Destination for the stony-hearted
Sunset Boulevard
Lethal Boulevard
Everyone's forgotten how they started
Here on Sunset Boulevard
3. THERE'S BEEN A CALL/JOURNEY TO PARAMOUNT
NORMA
There's been a call
What did I say
They want to see me right away
Joe, Paramount, they love our child
Mr. DeMille is going wild
JOE
Well, that's wonderful, Norma.
NORMA
But it was some fool assistant
Not acceptable at all
It he wants me, then Cecil B.
Himself must call
JOE
I don't know if this is the time to stand on ceremony.
NORMA
I've been waiting twenty years now
What's a few more days, my dear?
It's happened, Joe
I told you so
The perfect year
Now, let's go upstairs
JOE
Shouldn't you at least call back?
NORMA
No; they can wait until I'm good and ready.
JOE (V.O.)
It took her three days and she was ready
She checked with her astrologer
Who sacrificed a chicken
She dressed up like a pharaoh
Slapped on a pound of make-up
And set forth in her chariot
Poor Norma
So happy
Re-entering her kingdom
MAX (V.O.)
If you will pardon me, Madame, the shadow over the left eye is not quite balanced.
NORMA (V.O.)
Thank you, Max.
GUARD
Hey, that's enough of that.
MAX
To see Mr. DeMille. Open the gate.
GUARD
Mr. DeMille is shooting. You need an appointment.
MAX
This is Norma Desmond. No appointment is necessary.
GUARD
Norma who?
NORMA
Jonesy?
JONES
Why, if it isn't Miss Desmond. How have you been, Miss Desmond?
NORMA
Fine, Jonesy. Open the gate.
JONES
You heard Miss Desmond.
GUARD
They don't have a pass.
JONES
Stage 18, Miss Desmond.
NORMA
Thank you, Jonesy. And teach your friend some manners. Tell him without me, there wouldn't be any Paramount Studio.
JONES
Get me Stage 18. I have a message for Mr. DeMille.
HEATHER
Mr. DeMille?
DEMILLE
What is it?
HEATHER
Norma Desmond is here to see you, Mr. DeMille.
DEMILLE
Norma Desmond?
HEATHER
She's here at the studio.
DEMILLE
It must be about that appalling script of hers. What shall I say?
HEATHER
Maybe I could give her the brush.
DEMILLE
Thirty million fans have given her the brush. Isn't that enough? Give me a minute.
NORMA
Won't you come along, darling?
JOE
It's your script. It's your show. Good luck.
NORMA
Thank you, darling.
HEATHER
Miss Desmond.
DEMILLE
Well, well, well.
NORMA
Hello, Mr. DeMille.
The last time I saw you, we were someplace terribly gay. I was dancing on the table.
DEMILLE
A lot of people were. Lindbergh had just landed.
NORMA
You read the script, of course.
DEMILLE
Well, yes...
NORMA
Now, I know how busy you are during shooting, but I really think you could have picked up the phone yourself, instead of leaving it so some assistant.
DEMILLE
I don't know what you mean, Norma.
NORMA
Yes, you do.
DEMILLE
Come on in.
4. AS IF WE NEVER SAID GOODBYE
VOICE
Miss Desmond? Hey, Miss Desmond!
Up here, Miss Desmond: it's Hog-eye!
NORMA
Hog-eye! Well, hello!
HOG-EYE
Let's get a look at you.
NORMA
I don't know why I'm frightened
I know my way around here
The cardboard trees, the painted seas
The sound here
Yes, a world to rediscover
But I'm not in any hurry
And I need a moment
The whispered conversations
In overcrowded hallways
The atmosphere, as thrilling here
As always
Feel the early morning madness
Feel the magic in the making
Why, everything's as if we never said goodbye
I've spent so many mornings
Just trying to resist you
I'm trembling now, you can't know how
I've missed you
Missed the fairy-tale adventures
In this ever-spinning playground
We were young together
I'm coming out of make-up
The lights already burning
Not long until the cameras will
Start turning
And the early morning madness
And the magic in the making
Yes, everything's as if we never said goodbye
I don't want to be alone
That's all in the past
This world's waited long enough
I've ocme home at last
And this time will be bigger
And brighter than we knew it
So watch me fly, we all know I can do it
Could I stop my hand from shaking?
Has there ever been a moment
With so much to live for?
The whispered conversations
In overcrowded hallways
So much to say, not just today
But always
We'll have early morning madness
We'll have magic in the making
Yes, everything's as if we never said goodbye
Yes, everything's as if we never said goodbye
We taught the world new ways to dream
5. PARAMOUNT CONVERSATIONS/SURRENDER (Reprise)
BETTY
Well, Hello Mr. Gillis
Where have you been keeping yourself?
JOE
Someone's been doing it for me
BETTY
And meanwhile "Blind Windows"
Is stuck on the shelf
You said we'd work together
JOE
New Year's crisis, what can I say?
BETTY
Always full of excuses
JOE
Promise I'll call you later today
BETTY
You said that last time.
JOE
Look, Betty, I won't let you down.
BETTY
I guess I'll just have to trust you.
SHELDRAKE
You're Miss Desmond's German Shepherd?
I'm the one who's been calling
The name is Sheldrake. A couple of weeks ago, I was looking out my office window, I saw you drive onto the lot. And I said, that's exactly the car I've been looking for. Great for my new Crosby picture. So, I made a few inquiries. I've been calling for two weeks. Doesn't she ever pick up the phone? You know, outside a museum, you don't see that kind of quality anymore. We're willing to pay, at least a hundred dollars a week...
MAX
It's outrageous
You insult her
How can you be so cruel?
I forbid you to approach her
SHELDRAKE
You're insane
MAX
Go away.
Go away!
NORMA
Did you see how they all came
Crowding around?
They still love me, and soon we'll be
Breaking new ground
Brave pioneers
DEMILLE
Those were the days
NORMA
Just like before
DEMILLE
We had such fun
NORMA
We gave the world
New ways to dream
BOTH
We always found new ways to dream
DEMILLE
Let's have a good long talk one day.
NORMA
The old team will be back in business
DEMILLE
Sorry, my next shot's ready
MAX
Mr. Gillis...
JOE
What's the matter, Max?
MAX
I just found out the reason for all those phone calls from Paramount. It's not Madame they want. It's her car.
JOE
Oh, my God.
NORMA
Now, you remember, don't you? I don't work before 10 or after 4:30 in the afternoon.
DEMILLE
It isn't entirely my decision, Norma. New York must be consulted.
NORMA
That's fine. Ask any exhibitor in the country. I'm not forgotten.
DEMILLE
Of course you're not.
Goodbye, young fellow. We'll what we can do.
NORMA
I'm not worried. It's so wonderful to be back.
BETTY
Was that really Norma Desmond?
DEMILLE
It was.
HEATHER
She must be about a million years old.
DEMILLE
I hate to think where that puts me. I could be her father.
HEATHER
Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. DeMille.
DEMILLE
If you could have seen
Her at seventeen
When all of her dreams were new
Beautiful and strong
Before it all went wrong
She's never known the meaning of surrender
She's never known the meaning of surrender
6. GIRL MEETS BOY (Reprise)
JOE
How about
They don't know each other
He works the night shift
And she takes clases all day?
Here's the thing, they both share the same room
Sleep in the same bed
It works out cheaper that way
BETTY
I've a feeling you're just kidding
But to me it sounds believable
Makes a better opening than that car chase scene
Girl find boy, borrowing her toothbrush
Or oversleeping
Or at her sewing machine
JOE
You know, it's not bad, there are some real possibilities...
BETTY
Who's Norma?
JOE
Who's who?
BETTY
Sorry, I don't usually read private cigarett cases.
JOE
Norma's a friend of mine: middle-aged lady, very foolish, very generous.
BETTY
I'll say: this is solid gold. "Mad about the boy"?
JOE
So how's Artie?
BETTY
Stuck in Tennessee. It rains all the time, they're weeks behind. No one knows when they'll be back.
JOE
Good.
BETTY
What's good about it? I'm missing him something fierce.
JOE
No, I mean this idea we had. It's really pretty good.
Back to work.
BETTY
What if he's a teacher?
JOE
Where does that get us?
Don't see what good it would do.
BETTY
No, it's great
If they do the same job
JOE
So much in common
They fall in love, wouldn't you?
BETTY
Yes, but if he's just a teacher
Then we lose those scenes in the factory
JOE
Not if he's a champion for the working man.
Girl likes boy, she respects his talent
BETTY
Working with someone can turn you into a fan
JOE
This is fun, writing with a partner
BETTY
Yes, and it could be...
JOE
A helluva movie
BETTY
Can we really do this?
BOTH
I know that we can!
7. ETERNAL YOUTH IS WORTH A LITTLE SUFFERING
ASTROLOGER
I don't think you should shoot before July 15th
Right now is a perilous time for Pisces
If you want 'til Venus is in Capricorn
You'll avoid a catalogue of crises
MASSEUR 1
I need three more weeks to get these thighs in shape
No more carbohydrates, don't be naughty
MASSEUR 2
We'll soon have you skipping like an ingenue
You won't look a day over forty
BEAUTICIAN 1
We have dry heat, we have steam
BEAUTICIAN 2
We have moisturizing cream
BEAUTICIAN 3
We had mud-packs, we have blood sacks
BEAUTICIAN 2
It's a rigorous regime
ALL
Not a wrinkle when you twinkle
Or a wobble when you walk
BEAUTICIAN 3
Of course, there's bound to be a little suffering
ALL
Eternal youth is worth a little suffering
ANALYST
Listen to your super ego not your id
Age is just another damn neurosis
I'll have you regressing back to infancy
And back into the womb under hypnosis
DOCTOR
I inject the tissue of the fetal lamb
The forumla's the one Somerset Maugham owns
Just modest course of thirty-sevent shots
And you will be a heaving mass of hormones
ALL
No more crow's feet, no more flab
No more love handles to grab
You'll be so thin they'll all think you're
Walking sideways like a crab
Nothing sagging, nothing bagging
Nothing dragging on the floor
Of course, there's bound to be a little suffering
Eternal youth is worth a little suffering
Of course, there's bound to be a little suffering
Eternal youth is worth a little suffering
Of course, there's bound to be a little suffering...
ACT TWO cont...
8. WHO'S BETTY SCHAEFER?
NORMA
Is this what you're looking for, by any chance?
JOE
Why, yes.
NORMA
Whose phone number is this?
I've been worried about the line of my throat.
I think this woman has done wonders with it.
JOE
Good.
NORMA
And I've lost half a pound since Tuesday.
JOE
Very good.
NORMA
Now it's after nine. I'd better get to bed.
JOE
You had.
NORMA
Are you coming up?
JOE
I think I'll read a while longer.
NORMA
You went out last night, didn't you, Joe?
JOE
I went for a walk.
NORMA
You took the car.
JOE
I drove to the beach.
NORMA
Who's Betty Schaefer?
JOE
Surely, you don't want me to feel as if I'm a prisoner in this house?
NORMA
You don't understand, Joe. I'm under such a terrible strain. It's been so hard I even got myself a revolver. The only thing that stopped me from killing myself was the thought of all those people, waiting to see me back on the screen. How could I disappoint them? All I ask is a little patience, a little understanding.
JOE
Norma, there's nothing to worry about. I haven't done anything.
NORMA
Of course you haven't. Good night, my darling.
JOE
I should have stayed there
Poor Norma
So desperate to be ready
For what would never happen
But Betty would be waiting
We had a script to finish
One unexpected love scene
Two people, both risking
A kind of happy ending
9. BETTY'S OFFICE AT PARAMOUNT
BETTY
T-H-E E-N-D ! I can't believe it. I've finished my first script!
JOE
Oh, stop it. You're making me feel old.
BETTY
It's exciting though, isn't it?
JOE
How old are you, anyway?
BETTY
Twenty-two.
JOE
Smart girl.
BETTY
Shouldn't we open some champagne?
JOE
Well, the best I can offer is a stroll to the water cooler at the end of the lot.
BETTY
Sounds good to me.
I love the back lot here. It's all cardboard, all hollow, all phony, all done with mirrors. I think I love it more than any street in the world. I spent my childhood here.
JOE
What were you, a child actress?
BETTY
But my family always expected me to become a great star. I had ten years of dramatic lessons, diction, dancing, everything you can think of; and then the studio made a test.
JOE
That is the saddest story I ever heard.
BETTY
Not at all. Come on.
I was born two blocks from here. My father was head electrician at the studio until he died. My mother still works in wardrobe.
JOE
Second generation, huh?
BETTY
Third. Grandma did stunt work for Pearl White.
JOE
I guess it is exciting, at that, finishing a script.
BETTY
What?
JOE
Are you all right?
BETTY
Sure.
JOE
Something's the matter, isn't it?
10. TOO MUCH IN LOVE TO CARE
BETTY
I had a telegram from Artie
JOE
Is something wrong?
BETTY
He wants me to come out to Tennessee. He says it would only cost two dollars to get married in Clinch.
JOE
Well, what's stopping you, now that we've finished the script...
Hey, why are you crying? You're getting married, isn't that what you wanted?
BETTY
Not any more.
JOE
Don't you love Artie?
BETTY
Of course I do. I'm just not in love with him any more, that's all.
JOE
Why not? What happened?
BETTY
You did.
When I was a kid, I played on this street
I always loved illusion
I thought make-believe was truer than life
But now it's all confusion
Please, can you tell me what's happening?
I just don't any more
If this is real, how should I feel?
What should I look for?
JOE
If you were smart, you would keep on walking
Out of my life, as fast as you can
I'm not the one you should pin your hopes on
You're falling for the wrong kind of man
This is crazy
You know we should call it a day
Sound advice, great advice
Let's throw it away
I can't control all the things I'm feeling
I haven't got a prayer
If I'm a fool, well, I'm too much in love to care
I knew where I was
I'd give up hope
Made friends with disillusion
No one in my life
But I look at you
And now it's all confusion
BETTY
Please, can you tell me what's happening?
I just don't any more
If this is real, how should I feel?
What should I look for?
I thought I had everything I needed
My life was set, my dreams were in place
My heart could see way into the future
All of that goes when I see your face
I should hate you
There I was, the world in my hand
Can one kiss kiss away everything I planned?
I can't control all the things I'm feeling
I'm floating in mid-air
I know it's wrong, but I'm too much in love to care
BOTH I thought I had everything I needed
My life was set, my dreams were in place
My heart could see way into the future
All of that goes when I see your face
This is crazy
You know we should call it a day
JOE
Sound advice
BETTY
Great advice
BOTH
Let's throw it away
I can't control all the things I'm feeling
We're floating in mid-air
If we are fools, well, we're too much in love to care
If we are fools, well, we're too much in love to care!
11. NEW WAYS TO DREAM (Reprise)
JOE
What's the matter there, Max? You waiting to wash the car?
MAX
Please be careful when you cross the patio. Madame may be watching.
JOE
Suppose I tiptoe up the back stairs and get undressed in the dark, will that do it?
MAX
It's just that I am greatly worried about Madame.
JOE
Well, we're not helping any, feeling her lies, more lies. What's going to happen when she finds out they're not going to make her picture?
MAX
She never will. That is my job. I made her a star and I will never let her be destroyed.
JOE
You made her a star?
MAX
I directed all her early pictures. In those days, there were three young directors who showed promise: D.W. Griffith, Cecil B. DeMille and --
JOE
Max von Mayerling.
MAX
That's right.
When we met, she was a child
Barely sixteen
Awkward and yet, she had an air
I've never seen
I knew I'd found my perfect face
Deep in her eyes
New ways to dream
And we inspired
New ways to dream
Talkies came; I stayed with her, took up this life
Threw away fame
Please understand
She was my wife
We had achieved far more than most
We gave the world new ways to dream
Everyone needs new ways to dream
JOE
Are you saying you were married to her?
MAX
I was the first husband.
So I play this game
Keeper of the flame
Sharing with her one last dream
Don't you think I knew it never could come true?
She'll be the very last one to surrender
I will not allow her to surrender
12. THE PHONE CALL
NORMA
Hello, is this Gladstone 9281? Miss Schaefer?...Hello, Miss Schaefer, you must forgive me for calling so late, but I really feel it's my duty. It's about Mr. Gillis...you do know a Mr. Gillis? Well, exactly how much do you know about him? Do you know where he lives? Do you know what he lives on?
I want to spare you a lot of sadness
I don't know what he's told you
But I can guarantee you
He doesn't live with mother
Or what you'd call a roommate
He's just a ... I can't say it
Poor Betty
You ask him
I'd love to hear his answer...
...Joe...
JOE
That's right, Betty, why don't you ask me?...
NORMA
Don't.
JOE
...Or better yet, come over and see for yourself. Yes, right now. The address is ten thousand eighty-six, Sunset Boulevard.
NORMA
Don't hate me, Joe. I did it because I need you. Look at me. Look at my hands. Look at my face. Look under my eyes. How can I go back to work if I'm wasting away?
No! Don't stand there hating me, Joe. Shout at me, strike me, but say you don't hate me...Joe, Joe.
13. THE FINAL SCENE
JOE
Come on in.
BETTY
What's going on, Joe?
Why am I so scared?
What was that woman saying?
She sounded so weird
I don't understand...
Please, can you tell me what's happening?
You said you loved me tonight
Shall I just go?
Say something, Joe
JOE
Have some pink champage and caviar
When you go visit with a star
The hospitality is stellar
BETTY
So this is where you're living?
JOE
Yes, it's quite a place, sleeps seventeen
Eight sunken tubs, a movie screen
A bowling alley in the cellar
BETTY
I didn't come to see a house, Joe
JOE
Sunset Boulevard
Cruise the Boulevard
Win yourself a Hollywood palazzo
Sunset Boulevard
Mythic Boulevard
Valentino danced on that terrazzo
BETTY
Who's it belong to?
JOE
Just look around you
BETTY
That's Norma Desmond.
JOE
Right on the money
That's Norma Desmond
That's Norma Desmond
That's Norma Desmond
That's Norma Desmond
BETTY
Why did she call me?
JOE
Give you three guesses
It's the oldest story in the book
Come see the taker being took
The world is full of Joes and Normas
Older woman, very well-to-do
Meets younger man, the standard cue
For two mechanical performers
BETTY
Just pack your things and let's go.
JOE
You mean all my things?
Have you gone mad?
Leave all these things I've never had?
Leave this luxurious existence?
You want me to face that one-room hell
That murphy bed, that rancid smell
Go back to living on subsistence?
It's no time to begin a new life
Now I've finally made a perfect landing
I'm afraid there's no room for a wife
Not unless she's uniquely understanding
you should go back to Artie and marry the fool
And you'll always be welcome to swim in my pool
BETTY
I can't look at you any more, Joe.
NORMA
Thank you, thank you, Joe, thank you...thank you.
What are you doing, Joe?
You're not leavine me?
JOE
Yes, I am, Norma.
NORMA
You can't! Max!
JOE
It's been a bundle of laughs
And thanks for the use of the trinkets
A little ritzy for the copy desk back in Dayton
And there's something you ought to know
I want to do you this favour
They'll never shoot that hopeless script of yours
They only wanted your car
NORMA
That's a lie! They still want me!
What about all my fan-mail?
JOE
It's Max who writes you letters
Your audience has vanished
They left when you weren't looking
Nothing's wrong with being fifty
Unless you're acting twenty
NORMA
I am the greatest star of them all.
JOE
Goodbye, Norma.
NORMA
No one ever leaves a star
REPORTER
And as dawn breaks over hte *** house, Norma Desmond, famed star of yesteryear, is in a state of complete mental shock.
NORMA
This was dawn
I don't know why I'm frightened
Silent music stars to play
Happy New Year, darling.
If you're with me, next year will be...
Next year will be...
They bring in his head on a silver tray
She kisses his mouth...
She kisses his mouth...
Mad about the boy!
They'll say Norma's back at last!
MAX
Madame, the cameras have arrived.
NORMA
Max, where am I?
MAX
This is the staircase of the palace
And they're waiting for your dance
NORMA
Of course, now I remember
I was so frightened I might fall...
MAX
You are the greatest star of all!
Lights!
Cameras!
Action!
NORMA
When he scored me I
Knew he'd have to die
Let me kiss his severed head
Compromise or death
He fought to his last breath
He never had it in him to surrender
Just like me, he never could surrender
I can't go on with the scene; I'm too happy. May I say a few words, Mr. DeMille? I can't tell you how wonderful it is to be back in the studio making a picture. I promise you I'll never desert you again. This is my life. It always will be. There's nothing else. Just us and the cameras and all you wonderful people out there in the dark. And now, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up.
This time I'm staying
I'm staying for good
I'll be back where I was born to be
With one look, I'll be me