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Hello.
So, for Mental Health Awareness Month,
I asked people on Instagram what they wanted to see because I was kind of...
I didn't really know what I wanted to make for Mental Health Awareness Month,
to be honest, so I asked you and you asked back.
So, one of the things that somebody wanted me to talk about
was talking about mental health with your partner,
with your significant other, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, etc, etc. Why not?
So, here's the thing about talking about mental health with your partner.
I suck at it.
I am someone who is very emotional.
I react to things very quickly, very strongly,
sometimes very badly,
but when it comes to talking about my feelings
in a way that, like, if somebody asks me if I'm OK,
if they ask me how I'm doing, how my brain is doing, I'm no good at it.
I want to keep that to myself because I just suck at sharing my feelings.
I suck at telling my friends, my partners,
that there's something that they're doing that I can't stand.
For some reason, I can't tell them.
But here's one of the things that I've started to realise.
I think that it's possible that one of the reasons why it was so difficult
for me to talk about my mental health problems with a significant other
is I feel like I just wasn't comfortable doing that with my previous significant others
because they didn't get it.
And in the few times when, perhaps, I did talk about it,
like, maybe I was actually experiencing an episode that was so bad
that I couldn't do anything...
Like, for example, I was stuck in bed one day
and that was a work day but I just... I couldn't do it,
because my brain was just so bad
and, once I finally got up to do it, which was way late into the night,
I was like, "Oh, no, I'm late. Holy crap. Now I'm more stressed," and all of that.
And the response that I remember getting to this specific incident
was just, "Well, you shouldn't have been stuck in bed all day."
So, that is when I realised that, OK, this person just doesn't get it,
so what's the point of talking about it
because then, any other time that I would talk about it, they didn't get it.
But now I've started to get a little bit better at doing that, get a little bit better at opening up.
A little bit, not significantly so, but just a smidge, a small amount,
because now I have someone who relates because they know,
because they go through the exact same thing and that's glorious.
I mean, it's not, like, glorious when people have depression and whatever
but, when you feel like nobody else can relate,
and then you have somebody to relate with you,
it's amazing because then you can finally talk about it to somebody.
At least, like, you know, talking about it to somebody who has a close connection to you,
not like somebody like a therapist who doesn't really know you
and are talking to you on more, I guess, like a...
Is business level the way I want to say this? I don't know.
And now, because I have someone that can relate a little bit more, or a lot,
I am actually forcing myself to be more open
so, when I'm asked, you know, how I'm doing,
sometimes, I don't necessarily want to talk about it but baby steps.
So, when I'm asked about it, I, you know, I'll reply, "Yeah, I'm not doing so well."
And, if there's a "Why?", I explain.
And it feels great because I hated keeping issues inside.
I just hated feeling like I never had anybody that I could really talk about it with.
Now, yes, I have friends who I can talk about it with
because I have a lot of friends that are depressed,
have depression and, you know, other mental health issues
and we just, you know, rant about it together,
but it's different when you have a significant other
because the relationship is supposed to be deeper than just your ordinary friendship.
So, it's just less off my shoulders
and one thing that I have been trying to do also
is be better about asking the other person
because I know I had issues with,
if somebody would be asking me how I'm doing,
and I wouldn't do the same back,
so it looked like I didn't care, even though I did care,
but it was so hard for me to express that.
So, now I'm just, you know,
when somebody asks how I'm doing, I'm like, "OK, here's my answer.
Now, how are you doing?"
These things can be really, really hard
because mental health just isn't easy.
Depression isn't easy.
Anger issues aren't easy.
Anxiety, you know, etc, etc.
It's easier when you have someone who relates
but, if you have someone who doesn't really understand,
and they may be trying to understand but it's hard for you to open about it,
maybe there are other ways.
Instead of starting off with, like,
a confrontational face-to-face conversation about it,
maybe do something, like, in writing, like writing a letter
and then putting it in an envelope and then maybe they could read it later.
Honestly, I used to do videos about it.
I would make a video about it.
Instead of actually talking about it,
I would make a video about it first
because apparently doing it, talking about it to the public,
like, to a potential 1,000-plus people
was easier than talking about it to one person who knew me better.
Don't ask me how my brain works.
I'm not even sure.
But then, after 1,000 people watch it, apparently that would give me the motivation
to actually talk about it to said person
that was actually more so in my life than, you know, the internet,
where there's a boundary between and nobody really knows me personally.
I think that there are just maybe ways, instead of jumping into it all of a sudden,
maybe just try to work your way there and do things step by step.
As for being the person who doesn't have any mental health issues
but has a partner who does, don't try to force it out of them
because, at least for me,
when somebody would try to force it out of me,
I would get very irritated and I would just not get involved
and I would, like, pull myself back even more
because sometimes people just aren't ready to talk about it yet
and, if they're not ready to talk about it and you're forcing it, it's just...
it can be a little bit traumatising.
But, if you at least, you know, be supportive and be like,
"Hey, you can tell me when you're ready but just let me know",
or "I'm just going to let you know that I care about you", that's OK.
That's not necessarily, like, pushing and being like,
"Hey, hey, hey, tell me," because that doesn't work.
But, yeah, that's just my thoughts on that.
I'm not the best at this particular topic because I'm still trying to work on that myself
but, hopefully, something in this helped you out a little bit.
So, if you have any suggestions or if you have any personal experiences,
any words of advice, feel free to leave them down in the comments below.
But before you go, if you haven't, consider pledging on Patreon.
You get to support your favourite creators' work and you get perks in exchange.
So, from me, you get music playlists,
written content you haven't seen before, Pen Pal letters.
It all depends on what you pledge.
And I will see you later. Bye.