Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
(Clifton) HI.
WELCOME TO OSCAR'S BARBER SHOP HERE IN WASHINGTON D.C.
YOU'LL FIND GOOD PEOPLE IN HERE LIKE MY MAMA,
A GREAT LADY FULL OF LOVE AND KINDNESS,
AND A GOOD PERSON N YOUR SIDE
AND, OF COURSE, THIS DUDE IS ME.
BOSS OF MY OWN SHOP AND A SMASHING SUCCESS.
THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND, EARL CHAMBERS.
NOW, EARL IS THE TYPE OF GUY WHO WOULD GIVE YOU THE SHIRT OF HIS BACK.
BUT CHANCES ARE IT WOULD BE THE ONE HE BORROWED FROM YOU LAST WEEK.
NO, MAN.
I SAW THE APPLE ON THE BENCH FIRST, SO THAT MAKES IT MINE.
BUT THE BENCH IS IN MY SHOP,
LE
AND YOUR PROPERTY IS IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
AND I'M A GOVERNMENTAL OFFICIAL.
SO THAT PUTS ME IN OFFICIAL CHARGE OF THIS APPLE.
WHAT'S GOIN' ON IN HERE?
MAMA, EARL FOUND THIS APPLE ON THE BENCH AND HE CLAIMS IT'S HIS.
AND JUST BECAUSE THE BENCH BELONGS TO HIM, HE CLAIMS THE APPLE DOES, TOO.
NOW MAMA, WILL YOU TELL HIM WHO THAT APPLE BELONGS TO?
ANYONE WHO WANTS IT. IT'S NOT VERY GOOD.
(Clifton) THAT'S MY MAMA.
(Clifton) MAMA ALWAYS LIKES ME TO WAKE UP
WITH A BIG SMILE ON MY FACE.
BUT SOMETIMES SHE DON'T LIKE
GOOD MORNIN', MAMA.
ISN'T IT A BEAUTIFUL DAY, HUH?
THE SUN IS SHININ',
.
THE BEDROOM IS SMILIN',
THE LIVING ROOM IS BEAMIN',
BUT THE KITCHEN GOT A HANGOVER.
WHAT'S BUGGIN' YOU, MAMA?
IF YOU DON'T KNOW, I CAN'T TELL YOU.
WELL, IF I KNEW, I WOULDN'T ASK YOU TO TELL ME.
I KNOW YOU KNOW.
BUT I'M GOING TO TELL YOU ANYWAY.
CLIFTON, YOU'RE 25 YEARS OLD.
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. THANKS, MAMA.
DON'T YOU SASS ME, YOUNG MAN.
NOW CLIFTON,
YOUR SISTER, TRACY, GOT MARRIED WHEN SHE WAS 23.
WHEN ARE YOU GONNA SETTLE DOWN?
YOU'RE WORRYIN' ME TO DEATH RUNNIN' AROUND
WITH A DIFFERENT GIRL EVERY NIGHT.
AND GETTIN' TO BED AT ALL HOURS.
MAMA, LAST NIGHT I WAS IN THE BED BY 10:30.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?
YOU DIDN'T GET HOME UNTIL 4:00.
MMM-HMM.
NOW YOU GOTTA STOP THINKIN' ABOUT FUN AND PLEASURE
AND HAVIN' A GOOD TIME.
IT'S TIME YOU STARTED THINKIN' ABOUT MARRIAGE.
I THOUGHT ABOUT MARRIAGE.
AND IT WAS MY THOUGHT THAT I WOULD STOP THINKIN' ABOUT MARRIAGE.
WHEN YOU GONNA STOP GOIN' AROUND WITH THEM TRAMPS?
MAMA.
JUST BECAUSE A GIRL LIKES TO HAVE A LITTLE FUN DON'T MEAN SHE'S A ***.
IN FACT, THE YOUNG LADY I WAS WITH LAST NIGHT
HAPPENS TO BE AN HONOR STUDENT IN COLLEGE.
I DON'T CARE HOW GOOD SHE DOES IN CLASS.
IT'S HER HOMEWORK WHAT WORRIES ME.
NOW CLIFTON, MARK MY WORDS.
THE LIFE YOU'RE LIVIN' IS GOING TO LEAD TO NOTHIN' BUT A WHOLE LOT OF TROUBLE.
OH, MAMA, STOP WORRYIN', HUH?
I GOTTA GO TO WORK. COME ON, YOU GONNA GIVE ME A KISS AND WISH ME LUCK?
YOU'RE ONLY GOIN' INTO THE NEXT ROOM.
YOU NEVER KNOW.
I MIGHT GET HIT BY A DOOR.
♪[humming]
HI, HOUSE.
♪[continues humming]
GOOD MORNIN', YOU DEVIL.
CLIFTON,
SWEETHEART, SUGAR BABY.
OOH.
I MISSED YOU SO MUCH I THOUGHT I NEVER WOULD FIND YOU.
[moans]
HELLO, BABY, HELLO.
OH, CLIFTON, YOU DO REMEMBER AFTER ALL.
NOT REALLY, BUT I LOVE THIS REFRESHER COURSE.
YOU REMEMBER,
JUDY WILSON,
THE WAITRESS FROM THE HAPPY TIME BAR.
THE PLACE NEXT DOOR TO THE BOWLIN' ALLEY,
DOWN THE ROAD FROM FORT DIX WHERE I WAS STATIONED?
[screaming] RIGHT.
WELL, ANYWAY, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE IN WASHINGTON, D.C.?
WELL, I'M HERE TO GET MARRIED.
AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
OH, WHO'S THE LUCKY DUDE?
ME?
YOU.
OH, NO. OH, NO.
HOLD-- NOW, HOLD ON THERE A MINUTE.
AREN'T YOU FORGETTING A FEW PRELIMINARY DETAILS
LIKE DO I LOVE YOU?
HOW I FEEL ABOUT VERY SHORT ENGAGEMENTS?
AND WHO ARE YOU?
I'M THE MOTHER OF YOUR BABY.
WAIT A MINUTE.
NOW WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE.
WHAT BABY?
OUR BABY.
THE BABY THAT WAS CONCEIVED 2 MONTHS
BEFORE YOU WERE DISCHARGED FROM THE SERVICE.
YOU'RE THE DADDY AND YOU'RE GONNA MARRY ME.
NO, I'M NOT AND NO, I'M NOT.
YES, YOU ARE AND YES, YOU ARE.
WOMAN, PLEASE.
OH, CLIFTON, LOOK, I WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU SOONER,
BUT I COULDN'T FIND YOU.
NOW, WILL YOU QUIT IT WITH THAT MESS, WOMAN?
BELIEVE M I DON'T
AND I WAS NEVER AT ANY HAPPY TIME BAR.
[bell tinkling]
HEY MAN, I GOT SOME JUNK MAIL FOR YOU,
AND A NICE BIG PACKAGE.
HEY, AND SPEAKIN' OF NICE PACKAGES...
JUDY WILSON!
[both exclaiming]
HEY!
YOU LOOK DYNAMITE. GIVE ME ANOTHER ONE IN THE AIR.
OOH!
YEAH, WE HAD US SOME WILD TIMES AT THE OLD HAPPY TIME,
YEAH.
HEY, CLIFTON,
YOU REMEMBER THAT SATURDAY NIGHT YOU GOT BOMBED OUT YOUR GOURD?
YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE DOIN'.
WHAT SATURDAY NIGHT?
OH, YOU MEAN THAT SATURDAY NIGHT A LONG, LONG TIME AGO?
NO, MAN. IT WAS ONLY A COUPLE OF MONTHS BEFORE WE GOT DISCHARGED.
THANKS FOR NOTHIN', EARL.
YOU KNOW, YOU WERE SOMETHIN', YOU KNOW THAT.
OOH, WASN'T HE THOUGH.
BUT YOU NEVER DID TELL ME WHAT YOU DOIN' IN TOWN?
WHAT?
CLIFTON AND I ARE GETTIN' MARRIED.
MARRIED?
HEY, WITHOUT TELLIN' YOUR BEST FRIEND?
WHEN DID ALL THIS HAPPEN?
I MEAN, JUST LIKE THAT YOU'RE GONNA GET MARRIED AND HAVE KIDS.
YEAH, BUT NOT NECESSARILY IN THAT ORDER.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. NOW, DON'T YOU GO AWAY.
(Earl) YEAH, I'LL BE RIGHT HERE.
DIDN'T I HEAR SOMEBODY OUT HERE?
NO, JUST EARL, MAMA.
I SAID SOMEBODY, NOT NOBODY.
AND GOOD MORNIN' TO YOU, TOO, MAMA.
SOUNDS LIK THE DAY ON
EARL, WHEN I LAND ON YOU, IT'S GONNA FEEL LIKE
I STARTED FROM THE TOP OF THE WORLD.
EARL, BETTER BACK DOWN. AS GOOD DAYS GO,
MAMA'S WENT.
YOU MEAN, SHE KNOWS?
NOTHIN'.
I MEAN, THERE'S NOTHIN' TO KNOW, MAMA.
ARE YOU TWO GETTIN' IN SOME KINDA TROUBLE?
DEFINITELY NOT ME, MAMA.
DEFINITELY NOT ME, EITHER.
BUT ME, MORE DEFINITELY THAN NOT HIM.
WILL YOU STOP PLAYIN' WITH THAT CHAIR?
YOU'RE GONNA BREAK IT SOMEDAY, EARL.
YOU COULD ALWAYS GET IT FIXED.
I CAN FIX YOU EASIER THAN I CAN FIX THAT CHAIR.
I'M NOT THE ONE THAT NEEDS FIXED, MAMA.
I GUESS IT'S TOO LATE TO DO ME ANY GOOD.
ARE YOU TWO GETTIN' INTO SOMETHIN'?
WELL, NOT SINCE HIS GOOD OLD ARMY DAYS, MAMA.
WELL, I COULD'VE SWORN I HEARD A LADY'S VOICE OUT HERE.
IT'S JUST ME, CLIFF AND THE BARBERSHOP.
WELL, OK IF YOU SAY SO.
WHAT'S THAT?
THE NEXT TIME YOU AND CLIFTON ARE OUT HERE ALONE
TRY NOT TO LEAVE ANY LIPSTICK ON HIS COLLAR.
YOU KNOW, I THINK SHE SUSPECTS SOMETHIN'.
BRILLIANT, EARL. BRILLIANT.
HEY, DIG, LISTEN, NOT A WORD OF THIS TO NOBODY, YOU HEAR?
YOU KNOW ME, BUDDY. MY LIPS ARE ALWAYS SEALED.
[bell tinkling]
OH, HO, WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?
IT'S A LITTLE BOY.
OH, AIN'T HE CUTE?
HANG IN THERE, DAD.
DON'T YOU EVEN WANT TO SAY HELLO TO CLIFTON?
CLIFTON? DON'T TELL ME YOU NAMED HIM THAT.
WELL, WHAT'S WRONG WITH CLIFTON JR.?
EVERYTHING.
[baby crying]
OH, AIN'T YOUR DADDY A MEAN OLD MAN?
POOR LITTLE THING.
OOH, I THINK YOU NEED CHANGING.
HOW ABOUT INTO A PUPPY?
[whooping]
I DON'T BLAME YOU. I DON'T BLAME YOU.
BLAME ME FOR WHAT, JUNIOR?
FOR MARRYIN' THIS GORGEOUS HUNK OF HEAVEN.
HEY, SISTER, YOU GOT A SISTER?
JUNIOR, DID EARL TELL YOU THAT I WAS GETTIN' MARRIED?
NO, MAN, NO. EARL DIDN'T SAY A WORD TO ME.
I OVERHEARD HIM TELLIN' SWEENY.
[bell tinkles]
LISTEN, YOU KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT ABOUT THIS, YOU HEAR?
AND DO ME A FAVOR, HUH?
WHAT'S THAT, MAN?
TAKE THIS, FIND EARL, AND SHOVE IT UP HIS MOUTH.
GOT IT.
OH, UH, HANG IN THERE, DADDY.
I THOUGHT I HEARD A BABY.
MAMA, THIS IS JUDY WILSON AND HER LITTLE BABY BOY.
HI, MRS. CURTIS.
OH, YOU CUTE LITTLE THING, YOU.
MMM.
I CAN'T GET OVER IT.
YOU KNOW WHO LOOKED LIKE THAT WHEN HE WAS A BABY?
WHO?
CLIFTON.
OH, COME ON.
(Judy) SEE?
SEE WHAT?
CLIFTON.
CLIFTON?
CLIFTON.
!
JUST THINK,
SOON A STORK'LL BE DROPPIN' OFF A LITTLE BABY AT YOUR HOUSE.
WILDCAT, YOU'RE CRAZY.
WHAT WOULD CLIFF DO WITH A BABY STORK?
HEY.
ONE MORE CRACK OUT OF YOU LIKE THAT AND I'LL CROWN YOU.
HEY, SIS.
HELLO.
NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY,
NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY.
YOU NAUGHTY BOY.
MAMA CALLED ME UP AND TOLD ME ALL ABOUT IT.
NOW TRACY--
THAT'S REALLY STUPID. A WAITRESS IN AN ARMY CAMP.
I REALLY THOUGHT YOU HAD BETTER TASTE THAN THAT, BIG BROTHER.
WELL, I WAS ONLY SEEIN' HER TO MAKE DIANA ROSS JEALOUS.
COME ON, TRACY.
I TELL YOU, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THE CHICK.
WELL, ACCORDIN' TO MAMA,
THERE WASN'T MUCH ABOUT HER THAT YOU DIDN'T KNOW.
IS SHE AS MAD AS SHE SOUNDS?
LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY.
IN HER LATEST WILL, I'VE BEEN REPLACED BY GEORGE WALLACE.
WELL, SHE CAN'T BE AS MAD AS THAT TIME
WHEN YOU USED HER SPRAY STARCH INSTEAD OF AFRO SHEEN
AND GAVE REVEREND PRICHET THAT CONCRETE NATURAL.
Y.
HOW ARE YOU, HONEY?
HI, MAMA.
THIS?
OH, PERFECT.
I'VE NEVER SEEN IT LOOK BETTER.
OH, HE'S TERRIFIC.
OH, I LIKE LEONARD.
YOU MARRIED A FINE, DECENT MAN.
NOT LIKE SOME PEOPLE I KNOW.
I WONDER WHO SHE COULD HAVE IN MIND.
TRACY, DID YOU HEAR A STRANGE NOISE IN THE ROOM?
SOUNDS LIKE THE WIND.
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT IT IS. JUST A LOT OF WIND.
H?
OH, COME ON.
HI THERE. IT'S ME, YOUR SON CLIFTON, REMEMBER?
[exclaims]
SISTER ELOISE,
I'M PLEASED TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU HAVE PROPERLY MAINTAINED
YOUR VOW OF SILENCE,
AND YOU IS OF NOW A FULL FLEDGED MONK.
GOOD GRAVY, MAMA.
AIN,
I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE WOMAN AND I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG.
IM I KNEW S WOULD HAPPEN.
TELL HIM I'M NOT A BIT SURPRISED.
MAMA SAYS SHE KNEW THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN. MAMA SAYS SHE--
I HEARD.
MAMA, YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU AND I WOULDN'T LIE TO YOU.
TELL HER SHE KNOWS I LOVE HER AND SHE KNOWS I WOULDN'T LIE TO HER.
[scoffs]
MAMA SAYS...
I GIVE UP.
MAMA, DO YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT IT WITH ME?
I THOUGHT I DID, HONEY.
BUT NOW, I DON'T KNOW.
WELL, IN THAT CASE, I THINK I BETTER GO
BECAUSE FOR SURE CLIFTON'S NOT GONNA WANNA TALK ABOUT IT.
YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANNA STICK AROUND?
THAT GIRL IS COMIN' OVER HERE WITH HER LAWYER.
IT'S GONNA BE NOSTALGIA TIME.
WE'RE ALL GONNA REMINISCE
ABOUT CLIFTON'S ARMY MANEUVERS.
♪[whi
♪[continues whistling]
[doorbell ringing]
[doorbell continues ringing]
[imitating Eloise] WILL YOU GET THE DOOR, CLIFTON DEAR?
I'D BE HAPPY TO, MAMA DARLIN'.
[imitating Eloise] YOU'RE SUCH A BAD SON.
THAT'S 'CAUSE I GOT A LOVIN' MAMAWAWA.
HI, CLIFTON.
DON'T I EVEN GET A KISS?
YOU DON'T EVEN GET A HANDSHAKE.
HOW COME YOU'RE ALONE?
OH, MY ATTORNEY WILL BE HERE IN JUST A LITTLE WHILE.
HE JUST WANTS TO EXPLAIN A FEW THINGS TO YOU.
I BET HE DOES.
OH, HI, MRS. CURTIS.
EVERYBODY CALLS ME MAMA.
BUT ON SECOND THOUGHT,
IN YOUR CASE, LET'S NOT RUSH IT.
SIT DOWN, YOUNG LADY. I WANT TO HAVE A WORD WITH YOU.
YES, MA'AM.
NOW I WANNA HEAR THE WHOLE STORY AND I WANNA HEAR IT FROM THE BEGINNING.
WELL, MRS. CURTIS, IT--IT ALL STARTED
ON THIS SATURDAY NIGHT.
I WAS WORKIN' THE BAR AND--AND CLIFTON,
HE COMES STAGGERIN' UP TO ME
WITH THIS DUMB SMILE ON HIS FACE
AND HE KISSES ME RIGHT ON MY--
WHOA! I HEARD ENOUGH.
[doorbell ringing]
ON.
TIME SURE FLIES WHEN YOU'RE HAVIN' FUN.
MR. CURTIS.
TED CARRUTHERS.
JUDY WILSON'S ATTORNEY.
PLEASED TO MEET YOU.
CAN'T SAY THE FEELIN' IS MUTUAL.
I MUST SAY IT, I SURE DON'T WANT TO SAY IT.
[laughing]
THAT'S VERY FUNNY, MR. CURTIS, REALLY.
I CERTAINLY ADMIRE A PERSON WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR.
NOW, THEN, SHALL WE GET DOWN TO BUSINESS?
I'M, UH, HERE TO GATHER SOME PRELIMINARY FACTS
ON BEHALF OF MY CLIENT.
WHAT IS THE, UH, FATHER'S FULL NAME?
HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT?
YOU MEAN TO TELL ME, YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR OWN NAME.
I AM NOT THE FATHER.
SORRY, THE ALLEGED FATHER.
AS THE ALLEGED MAMA OF THE ALLEGED FATHER,
I WANNA KNOW HOW YOU GONNA PROVE YOUR CLIENT'S CHARGES?
LET ME SAY THIS ABOUT THAT, MADAME,
THERE ARE WAYS.
FOR ONE THING, BLOOD TESTS.
NOW, WHAT IS YOUR BLOOD TYPE, YOUNG MAN?
THE BABY'S IS "O".
"O".
OH-OH.
NOW, HOLD IT.
THERE ARE MAYBE A HUNDRED MILLION PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY WITH O-TYPE BLOOD.
YEAH, BUT THERE WAS ONLY ONE AT THE HAPPY TOWN BAR
THAT SATURDAY NIGHT.
NOW, HOW DO YOU KNOW? YOU WERE IN THE BACK TESTIN' BLOOD?
MR. CURTIS, JUDY, NOW PLEASE.
NOW THIS IS NOT THE TIME NOR THE PLACE FOR THAT SORT OF THING.
MR. CARRUTHERS,
I DON'T THINK WE HAVE TO TALK TO YOU AT ALL.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. YOU DON'T.
SO IF YOU'LL HAVE YOUR ATTORNEY CONTACT ME
WE CAN ARGUE THIS OUT IN COURT.
WE'RE GOING TO COURT?
WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST? WE SEND A LETTER TO DEAR ABBY.
YOU KNOW, THE WIT
NOW LOOK,
I'M AS ANXIOUS AS YOU
NOT TO GO THROUGH THE TROUBLE
AND THE EXPENSES OF A COURT TRIAL.
SO IF MY CLIENT DOESN'T OBJECT,
PERHAPS WE CAN DISCUSS A CASH SETTLEMENT NOW INSTEAD.
PURELY FOR THE BABY'S BENEFIT.
I DON'T WANT ANY MONEY.
I DON'T WANT ANYTHING, MRS. CURTIS.
I JUST WANT TO MARRY THE FATHER OF MY BABY.
TO THINK I WOULD EVER HEAR THOSE WORDS IN MY HOUSE.
CLIFTON, IF YOUR FATHER WERE ALIVE THIS WOULD KILL HIM.
MR. CURTIS, DO YOU WANNA MARRY JUDY?
DOES A CHICKEN HAVE LIPS?
WELL THEN, I SUGGEST THAT WE GO TO COURT.
COURT? I--I DON'T WANNA GO TO COURT.
WELL THEN, I SUGGEST THAT YOU GET YOURSELF A NEW ATTORNEY.
UH, WAIT A MINUTE, SIR, PLEASE, UH,
I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU SAY.
WELL, VERY WELL. NOW, I'VE MADE MY DECISION. HAVE YOU PEOPLE MADE YOURS?
YEAH, I'VE MADE A DECISION AND THE ANSWER IS--
WAIT A MINUTE. I WANT TO HAVE A WORD WITH MY SON IN PRIVATE.
(Carruthers) PLEASE DO.
NOW MAMA, BEFORE YOU BEGIN,
I'VE SAID THIS BEFORE,
AND I'M GONNA KEEP ON SAYIN' IT UNTIL MY TONGUE FALLS OUT OF MY HEAD,
I'M NOT THE FATHER OF THAT BABY.
I BELIEVE YOU, CLIFTON.
WHY DON'T YOU BELIEVE ME? WHAT DID YOU SAY?
I BELIEVE YOU.
OH, MAMA,
YOU KNOW, THAT'S MORE IMPORTANT TO ME THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THIS WORLD.
NOW, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS GOIN' ON HERE?
I DON'T KNOW BUT I'M GONNA FIND OUT.
JUST TRUST ME.
WELL, WHAT HAVE YOU DECIDED?
WELL, ALL RIGHT, YOU WIN.
MADAM, YOU'VE MADE A VERY WISE DECISION.
[clapping] NOW,
I WAS THINKING THAT A FAIR CASH SETTLEMENT NOW--
MR. CARRUTHERS, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
CLIFTON HAS DECIDED TO MARRY THE GIRL.
(both) HE WHAT?
THAT'S RIGHT. YEAH, I'M GONNA MARRY HER.
MARRY?
YOU DO WANT TO MARRY HIM, DON'T YOU?
THE MAN YOU'VE BEEN CRYIN' OVER,
THE MAN YOU LOVE,
THE FATHER OF YOUR CHILD OR WHATEVER.
MAIL CALL.
ALL YOUR MAIL.
HEY, CLIFF!
HEY--
HEY, TEDDY.
WHAT YOU DOIN' HERE?
THIS IS A REALLY BIG OLD HOME WEEK.
FIRST THE WAITRESS AT OLD HAPPY TIME,
AND NOW THE COOK.
SIR, I HAPPEN TO BE AN ATTORNEY.
I AIN'T NO COOK.
NO KIDDIN', TEDDY.
MAN, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
LAST YEAR YOU WAS A COOK,
AND TODAY YOU ARE AN ATTORNEY.
MAN, WHO SAYS OUR PEOPLE AREN'T MOVIN' ON?
AND SOME OF THEM ARE MOVIN' IN THE WRONG DIRECTION.
NOW MY SUGGESTION IS THAT THE DIRECTION YOU TWO BETTER MOVE NEXT
IS OUT BEFORE MY FOOT MOVES IN.
BUT...
THEODORE CARRUTHERS, I TOLD YOU
THIS JIVE HUSTLE WOULDN'T WORK.
THIS IS THE 3RD TIME WE DONE TRIED THIS STUFF
.
NOW, I'M TELLIN' YOU, I AM TELLIN' YOU
TO GET YOURSELF A GOOD JOB
OR I'M TAKING OUR BABY AND I'M GOING HOME TO MY MAMA.
MY WIFE'S JUST A LITTLE BIT HIGH STRUNG.
WELL, THAT'S THE WAY IT GOES, DON'T IT?
YOU WIN SOME, THEN YOU LOSE SOME.
WASHINGTON, D.C., SEEMED SO RIGHT FOR THIS TYPE OF WORK, YOU KNOW.
ARE YOU SURE HE IS A COOK AND NOT A PLUMBER?
SU DON
MAMA, WILL SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT IS GOIN' ON AROUND HERE?
DOES THAT MEAN THE WEDDING IS OFF?
UT, OUT.
WAIT A MINUTE, I WAS GONNA BE THE BEST MAN.
LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY,
IF YOU WERE THE BEST MAN,
SHE'D HAVE BEEN ACCUSING YOU OF BEIN' THE FATHER OF THE BABY.
MAMA, I SURE GOTTA HAND IT TO YOU.
YOU HAD THEM FIGURED OUT
PERFECTLY.
OOH, I'M GLAD THAT'S OVER.
TOO.
BUT, YOU KNOW, CLIFTON, THAT WAS SOME CUTE BABY.
OH, LORD.
I CAN'T HELP THINKIN', HOW NICE IT WOULD BE
IF YOU REALLY HAD A BABY OF YOUR OWN.
OK, I CAN TAKE A HINT.
WELL, WHERE ARE YOU GOIN'?
I'M GOIN' TO THE HAPPY TIME BAR,
TO SEE IF ANY OF THEM OTHER BOARDS I KNEW ARE STILL AROUND.
WHAT'RE YOU DOIN', CLIFTON?
(Clifton) THAT'S MY MAMA WAS RECORDED ON TAPE
BEFORE A LIVE AUDIENCE.