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Watch out, there's a guy behind you. He's on me too hard.
I gotcha, I gotcha. Watch it. Come on. Cover me alright.
Armor locking, come on!
***! ***! Alex!
Thanks stupid.
What are you guys doing here?
I live here. He does live here.
I left you guys like five hours ago.
We got distracted.
Boom! Come on cover me. Oh, I got 'em, I got 'em.
I thought you were going out.
I've got an eternity to go out, I'm a vampire.
Meh.
*** great.
Why do you give such a *** about weather we're here....
How ya doing?
SFX - Connor laughing knowingly
Shut it Connor.
Alex, who's this?
This is...
Logan. I'm Logan.
You must be Connor.
I must be.
And then you're Ethan?
Wow, uh..
I've heard a lot of great things about you.
Oh, uh...thanks nice to finally meet you.
It's very nice to....wait finally?!?
Pew, Pew, Pew. Explosion sounds.
And this is?
This is our landlord, Jobin.
Hello, kablamie, goodbye.
Uh, Jobin, take it down a notch.
HEEEEELLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
ooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooo
Splash.
Hi.
Uh, hey, can I use your bathroom?
Yeah, it's...it's around the corner.
Finally?
it's been a few days.
Oh you better take your time cause we're talk about this *** later.
She threatened me.
That is hardly an excuse.
SFX - Alex claps twice
Alright guys...its time to get the *** out.
Uh...I live here.
He does live here.
You need to leave.
I feel, that that's just going to be less fun than staying.
I'm not *** around Connor.
Well not yet at least.
Alex.
It would be a little weird is this guy came out we were gone.
It might look like you've got something to hide,
or your total ***.
You're really rubbing off on me.
I know I am.
Speaking of rubbing off, is this guy priming the pump or something?
What the *** is taking so long?
Ok, fine, fine, fine.
You guys just make up some excuse when he gets out, ok?
Fine, but only because you're adorable when you get upset.
Upset about what?
Nothing.
Universal health care.
Alex is very concerned about her health.
Logan already knows I'm a vampire, stupid.
Don't you think it's time for you guys to head on out?
You're leaving?
They're leaving.
We have that thing, remember?
I don't remember a thing.
Oh, you can't leave.
We can't leave.
They have plans.
We have plans.
You could cancel them.
We could cancel them.
I insist.
Logan insists.
Great.
Great.
I need a drink.
So how'd you two meet?
We met at the gym.
You go to a gym?
I run a spinning class Alex is in.
Ohhh, you go spinning?
Yeah, she just started.
What the hell is spinning?
It's indoor biking.
It's really good exercise.
Really?
Yeah, I'd say you should try it
but its an all-girls class.
An all girls class. Lucky you.
I don't get it.
You ride a bike but you're not moving.
Yeah, but I don't think bikes of the only thing that
Alex is interested riding tonig...
CONNOR!
Who would you rather save your mother or your father?
No, that's a stupid question. I've got a better one.
Have you ever been to prison?
No. I have never been to prison.
What kind of questions are these?
No it's ok I understand.
We're just trying to make sure that Alex isn't bringing home some sort of animal.
HA HA. No, no, I've
got my animal side under control.
What are your hobbies?
I like running and hiking, a lot of that's the...
What about sex?
Connor!
Yes, Connor I like sex.
It's been awhile though.
It's...it's hard to find someone I won't get self-conscious with.
SFX - Alex burps
So is Jobin a....
Hello.
uh... a vampire?
No, no, no, I've seen him in the sun.
Kinda has that old person smell to him.
Speaking of smells..
what are you wearing?
'Citron Devin au de Perfume'. You like?
Umm...
I can't really smell too much lately have got some sort infection in my right nostril
it flairs in and out every few weeks, I gotta see a doctor.
I've got drinks and bananas.
Oh thank god.
What about quarters?
Beer pong.
Not enough room.
I got it, I got it.
Strip poker.
***.
Careful what you wish for, bro.
What do you mean?
SFX - Bad Boys II Dialogue
You got enough room?
Ok, I'm just figuring this out. SFX - Halo : Reach is being played
Logan, can you get off Ethan for like two seconds please.
Um...which...
Dude, the barrel of your gun is practically in my ***.
I'm...I'm...I'm going to go to bed.
How do I launch a grenade?
Hey, I'm going to go to bed.
Kablamie!
Hey guys, I'm going to go to bed.
Good night, Alex
Come on Alex! God damn it!
She seems really upset.
You going to go screw with her?
God, it's like I can't help myself.
So...it is getting kinda late.
Yup. It is.
Hey, uh...is it cool if I crash here?
Yea, no problem. Don't worry about it.
Sweet, Connor can take the couch, and we can share your bed.
My bed?
Ah, yeah, you do live here.
I do live here.
So....
You like that? You like how that feels baby?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, keep it up, you'll get it.
Oh, I cannot wait.
Logan might...
I'm right on top of you I swear. I'm coming in hard from behind.
We're never going to get these guys down if you don't to get behind me and do what you have to do.
I'm throwing all of my weight into it.
Nooooo...definitely wants to prison *** Ethan.
Now, I know
you're very GRRRRRRR cause you thought you were going to have some sex tonight.
So, I'm going to do you a favor and let you have sex with me.
You know.
Get some of that
energy out of that system.
Take this bike for a spin.
The bike is my ***.
After all Alex, you are my friend.
And I take care of my friends.
Music - Romantic Music
SFX - Connor screams (kind of like a girl)
And this is the rear naked choke hold.
Alex bit me.
What? You sucked off Connor?
I just bit him, I didn't swallow.
It is rude to bite.
Know what else is rude?
Not telling me you're gay!
What?!?
Boom! Oh...***.
Are you ok?
Not even in the least bit, but shut up cause this is going to be good.
Wait....whose gay?
You're gay!
You're gay?
I'm not gay. I like guys.
That's the definition of homosexuality.
The definition is not male specific.
Is 'gay' male specific?
Well anyone can be happy.
Except for Alex.
*** you Connor.
Better chance than Logan.
Guys, I'm not gay because I'm not a guy.
You're a trannie?
Transvestite.
***.
Transylvanian.
I'm not transgendered.
Ahhhhhhhhh.
I'm a werewolf.
No, you're going to need more hair.
You're like half way better an otter and a twink.
How do you know so much gay slang?
I watch '*** as Folk'.
We watch anything by Russell T. Davies.
He did Dr. Who and Torchwood.
Good shows. Very good shows.
Not gay slang. Like an actual werewolf.
You know... OOOWWWWWWWWooooooooo
You're a werewolf?
Werewolves are gay?
I could see a dikey werewolf.
'Dikey' is really offensive.
You're right, I'm so sorry Logan.
I'm not a ***.
You're a gay werewolf?
Were-mosexual.
Are all werewolves gay?
Werewolves aren't gay.
Do they have an immunity to gay.
No, I mean they can be, but I'm not.
Ah, he's still in the closet, or should it be the cage?
Cage is offensive too. He's in the...woods?
Woods doesn't make any sense.
Neither does the closet.
Oh, he's free range.
That's chickens.
He's wild.
Ohhh, like a wild were-mosexual.
That's alliteration, I like it.
Guys, guys, guys.
I'm not in the closet, I'm not gay.
So you don't want to have sex with Ethan?
Yes! But..
Hold on! You wanting to *** Ethan... Two guys giving each other razor burn
You don't understand.
SFX - Everyone's talking over each other, a lot of 'balls' this and '***' that.
I'M!
A !
GIRL!
Nobody.
Ok.
Logan, what we're looking at right now doesn't make any sense
so we're just waiting for you elaborate on...
What the *** is going on?!?
There it is.
He has a ***.
I'm a 'she', and let me explain.
About two years ago I was a normal girl...
If you could just
put your pants on.
Sorry.
Not a problem.
It's so smooth.
I was attacked by a werewolf
and survived.
And I started to notice changes.
I started to look like a man.
I soon learned that werewolves get an increasing amount of testosterone.
It's where they get there animalistic rage.
Just like vampires get an increased amount of estrogen, which is why they are so effeminate.
Eddie. Cooper. Philip. Ahhhhhhhh.
So because I have this increase about of
testosterone
I look like a man but I am,
and have the parts of
a girl.
As you seen.
Any questions?
Yes, soooo many! Yeah, tons.
NO! No. no.
I can handle a lot, but this is too much.
SFX - Alex claps twice
Nope. Nope. Nope. Going to bed. Oh my god. Worse date...oh my god.
I'm going to die...oh my god...haven't had sex is a year..oh my god...
Estrogen.
Okay so....
Do you like peanut butter?
Do you like peanut butter with your peanut butter?
Connor you don't... Stop! Do you like peanut butter with your peanut
No! How many times have you seen Bad Boys 2?
Connor you don't look so good. Dude.
*** I wanna know whether the wild were-woman has seen Bad Boys 2?
Connor you're bleeding out.
What the ***? Of course I am bleeding out you vamptard I got *** bit.
I need a towel, or a towel, or a towel.
Here you go.
A banana. What the *** am I going to do with a banana?
I could do a few things.
You need to elevate the wound.
It's my *** shoulder Ethan, how do you elevate a shoulder?
Stand on a chair.
Adama....
That's the opposite of elevation ***.
Wow, you really are rubbing off on me.
Miscellaneous *** line.
Awww man, he's getting blood everywhere.
This is really messy.
What are you doing?
Taking a picture.
Why?
I don't know. I have the strangest feeling of Deja Vu.
What the ***? What the *** is this?
This is really messy.
I'm going to get more towels.
Awww, did you pass out?