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>> Narrator: COMING UP, MURR IS
FORCED TO STICK HIS NOSE WHERE
IT DOESN'T BELONG...
[ DING! ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
...Q GOES UP AGAINST THE MYSTERY
BOX...
>> THERE'S NO WAY HE'S DOING
THIS.
>> OH.
>> Narrator: ...AND THE GUYS
PUSH JOE OVER THE EDGE.
>> NO! NO! NO!!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Narrator: PLUS, AN
"IMPRACTICAL JOKERS" FIRST -- A
PUNISHMENT LIKE YOU'VE NEVER
SEEN BEFORE.
>> ♪ DUNH DUNH DUHH ♪
>> AAH!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WE'RE AT DYLAN'S CANDY BAR,
AND WE'RE TRYING TO GET PEOPLE
TO SIGN UP FOR OUR NEW PARTY
SERVICE.
>> THERE WILL BE A BOX OF PROPS
WAITING FOR US, AND WE HAVE NO
IDEA WHAT'S IN IT.
>> WE'VE GOT TO REACH IN AND
PULL OUT A PROP AND EXPLAIN HOW
WE'RE GONNA USE THAT WEIRD THING
AT THEIR PARTY.
>> IF YOU CAN'T GET SOMEONE TO
SIGN UP FOR YOUR PARTY, YOU
LOSE.
>> HOW'S IT GOING?
>> HEY.
>> HEY, HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT OUR
NEW PARTY-TIME SERVICE THAT
WE'RE DOING.
WE DO ADULT PARTIES, KIDS'
PARTIES -- YOU KNOW, BIRTHDAYS,
EVERYTHING.
YOU KNOW, WE'LL DO, LIKE, THE
STANDARD, LIKE, KID -- WE'LL DO
THE JUGGLING IF YOU WANT TO DO
IT.
[ CHUCKLES ]
AND THEN WE, UH -- WE OFFER,
LIKE, A FULL RANGE OF SERVICES.
LIKE, FOR INSTANCE, IN HERE, WE
HAVE SOME STUFF.
>> HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT'S IN
THE BOX.
>> YOU KNOW, THIS IS SOMETHING
GREAT THAT WE DO.
UM, WE HAVE AN URN WITH ASHES IN
HERE, AND IT'S, UH -- IT'S A
GAME WE PLAY, CALLED
"GUESS WHO'S DEAD."
EVERYBODY TAKES A HANDFUL.
IT'S SORT OF LIKE
"DUCK, DUCK, GOOSE" MEETS, UH,
"SIMON SAYS."
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY JUST
TAKES A TURN GUESSING WHO'S
DEAD -- "GRANDPA."
AND WE HAVE, LIKE, SPECIFIC
PROPS AND THINGS THAT WE'LL
BRING TO THE PARTY.
LIKE, YOU COULD HAVE, LIKE...
[ LAUGHTER ]
WE HAVE, UH -- YOU KNOW, WE
BRING LAXATIVES.
WE DON'T THINK THAT CHILDREN
POOP ENOUGH AT THE KIDS'
PARTIES, BECAUSE THEY HAVE
SO MUCH CANDY AND STUFF.
SO WE'LL -- WE'LL ACTUALLY SLIP
SOME OF THESE IN WITH
JELLY BEANS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE.
UM...
THERE IS, UH...
WE'VE GOT, UH -- THAT'S...
UM, BECAUSE PARENTS GET INTO
SOME TROUBLE WHEN THEY DRIVE
HOME FROM KIDS' PARTIES.
THEY'VE BEEN DOING A LITTLE...
[ WHISTLES ]
SO, IT'S AN ALL-INCLUSIVE SORT
OF DEAL, WHERE YOU GET THE WHOLE
EXPERIENCE.
YOU GET THE JUGGLING, YOU GET
THE LAXATIVES, YOU GET THE
URINE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S A WIN-WIN FOR EVERYBODY.
I'LL COME, I'LL JUGGLE, I'LL
HAND OUT LAXATIVES.
SO, JUST NAME AND PHONE NUMBER,
IF YOU'D LIKE.
>> IS SHE GONNA DO IT?
>> YEAH! THANK YOU SO MUCH.
REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
>> HUMAN WASTE IS NOT ENOUGH FOR
THIS WOMAN TO NOT SIGN UP.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ DING! ]
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
>> HUGH.
>> BRIAN. NICE TO MEET YOU.
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS, MAN.
I THROW THE PARTY MYSELF.
LIKE, I'LL RUN IN HERE WITH,
LIKE, THIS STUFF, AND THAT'S
JUST THE START OF IT.
BUT, LIKE, FOR YOU, WE DO STUFF
LIKE THIS.
[ GROANS ] HERE.
ALL RIGHT, LIKE [CHUCKLES]...
[ LAUGHTER ]
...FLAPJACKS.
FLAPJACKS, HUGH.
>> DON'T JUST SAY WHAT THEY
ARE, Q?
HOW DO YOU USE THEM AT THE
PARTY?
>> LIKE, NOW -- NOW YOUR FRIENDS
ARE SHOWING UP, AND THEY'RE
LIKE, "OH, MAN, THERE'S ALCOHOL
EVERYWHERE.
BUT WHAT'S TO EAT?"
>> FLAPJACKS.
>> FLAPJACKS!
BUT WAIT, PARTY'S JUST GETTING
STARTED.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHUCKLES ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
HUGH, NOW [CHUCKLES] CHECK
THIS OUT.
ALL RIGHT, WE GOT THAT, RIGHT?
>> YEAH.
>> YOU GOT THAT, I GOT THIS.
RIGHT, BUDDY?
NOW YOU AND I ARE -- WE'RE VERY
HANDCUFFED TOGETHER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S HAPPENING.
YOU AND I ARE GONNA GET A LITTLE
DRUNK, WE'RE GONNA DOWN SOME
FLAPJACKS.
YOU WANT TO SIGN UP?
YOU'LL SIGN UP?
>> COME ON! FUR AND CUFFS!
>> FUR AND CUFFS, HUGH, GETS 'EM
EVERY TIME.
[ DING! ]
>> IT COULD BE A CHILDREN'S
PARTY OR AN ADULT PARTY.
WE TAILOR IT TO YOU.
WE SIT DOWN WITH YOU AND KIND OF
PARTY-PLAN IT.
SO, SOME OF THE THINGS WE
[Chuckling] OFFER...
WE OFFER, UH, BACON.
>> OKAY.
>> AND THEN WE HAVE, UH...
PILLS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.
"WHAT DO BACON AND PILLS IN A
BAG HAVE TO DO WITH A PARTY?"
WELL...
WHAT DON'T THEY HAVE TO DO
WITH -- WITH A PARTY, REALLY,
IF IT'S THE RIGHT PARTY?
WE HAVE SOME REALLY COOL, UNIQUE
THINGS THAT NO ONE ELSE OFFERS.
NOW, YOU -- YOU MIGHT SAY, "WHY
DO HAVE BRICK LABELED 'PAIN'?"
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> TALK YOUR WAY OUT OF THAT
[BLEEP]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THAT'S WHAT I WOULD ASK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHY DO YOU THINK I HAVE A BRICK
LABELED "PAIN" IN MY HANDS?
HA HA HA HA HA.
GUESS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU'RE GONNA LABEL YOURS
WHATEVER YOU WANT IT TO BE --
WHATEVER YOU WANT TO GET RID OF.
LIKE, YOU COULD LABEL IT
"SORROW," "POVERTY"...
"***."
[ LAUGHTER ]
IF YOU THINK A PARTY -- OKAY? --
WITH BRICKS LABELED "PAIN" IS
FOR YOU, JUST SIGN, AND WE COULD
TAILOR IT TO HOWEVER YOU WANT --
OF COURSE, IT IS YEAH.
>> OH, MY GOD! COME ON!
[ DING! ]
>> HOW ARE YOU GUYS TODAY?
WE DON'T JUST DO REGULAR
PARTIES.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW, WE'VE GOT OUR
REGULAR PARTY THINGS.
YOU'VE GOT, YOU KNOW, HATS THAT
WE PROVIDE AT PARTIES -- THINGS
LIKE THAT.
BUT ALSO WE -- WE BRING, UM...
[ CHUCKLES ]
>> GOOD LUCK EXPLAINING THAT,
MURR.
>> [ CHUCKLING ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S A HALLOWEEN COSTUME.
IT'S A GHOST, IT'S A GHOST.
YOU COULD WEAR IT AND SCARE
PEOPLE.
IT'S LIKE A HALLOWEEN PARTY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU [BLEEP]
WE DO TRICKS.
YOU KNOW, WE DO, LIKE, STREAMERS
AND THINGS LIKE THAT.
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
>> YOU KNOW?
OTHER THINGS THAT WE MIGHT
BRING...
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> ...IS, UH, SPARE ***?
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND WE THROW REALLY FUN PARTIES,
SO, UM, YOU KNOW, IF ANYONE
SOILS THEMSELF, WE'D HAVE
BACKUPS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
HOLD THIS FOR ONE SECOND.
IT'S OKAY.
UH, AND THEN...
ANY INTEREST IN SIGNING UP FOR
THE PARTY?
>> PUT THOSE ON YOUR HAND IN
SHAME, BUDDY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ BUZZER ]
>> Narrator: PARTY'S OVER, MURR.
YOU ARE ON THE LOSER BOARD.
>> I LOVE BIRTHDAY PARTIES.
>> WHEN'S MY BIRTHDAY?
>> MAY 1st.
>> WHEN'S Q's BIRTHDAY?
>> MARCH 14th.
>> AND WHEN'S SAL'S BIRTHDAY?
>> NOVEMBER-ISH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> 22 YEARS.
>> AND I'M ALWAYS FEELING HIM
OUT.
STARTING NOVEMBER 1st, I'LL
START CALLING, LIKE, "HEY, BUD."
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WE'RE AT VESELKA RESTAURANT,
PLAYING WAITERS, AND TODAY WE'RE
ALL GONNA GET A SHOT AT JOEY'S
SIGNATURE BIT.
>> NOSING.
>> WE GOT TO PUT OUR NOSE ON
CUSTOMERS AS MANY TIMES AS
POSSIBLE.
>> WHOEVER NOSES THE FEWEST
TIMES LOSES.
>> SAL HAS NEVER NOSED ANYONE IN
HIS LIFE.
>> I JUST REALIZED HOW
NERVE-RACKING THIS IS.
>> GAL ON THE GO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I'M JUST GONNA GRAB THIS MENU
FROM HERE.
>> OKAY, YEAH.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> SORRY. THANK YOU.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CREAK ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> TIME IS RUNNING OUT, SAL.
>> GET THE BALD GUY RIGHT BEHIND
YOU.
GO. GET HIM.
>> GO.
>> GET HIM.
[ CYMBAL PLAYS ]
>> AW, COME ON.
GET IN THERE, SAL.
GO, GO, GO, GO, GO.
>> SAL HAS NEVER NOSED ANYONE IN
HIS LIFE.
>> GET THE BALD GUY RIGHT BEHIND
YOU.
GO. GET HIM.
>> GO.
>> GET HIM.
[ ORGAN PLAYS CHORD ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> GO, GO, GO, GO, GO.
[ DING! ]
>> WOW! NICE. WOW!
>> WELL DONE, MAN.
>> GET HIS WIFE IN THE FURRY
COAT.
>> CHECK THIS OUT.
[ DING! ]
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> SEE?
[ DING! ]
>> MY GOD!
>> I AM STUNNED.
>> HE'S POURING HIMSELF A BEER!
>> GET THE GUY IN THE BLUE
SHIRT, Q.
[ DING! ]
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> [ Laughing ] WHOA.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> SITTING DUCK RIGHT IN FRONT
OF YOU, Q.
>> ♪ ARE YOU READY? ♪
[ DING! ]
>> THERE YOU GO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT'S HAPPENING.
>> Q, LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN GET
THAT GUY AGAIN.
[ DING! ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> OH!
[ LAUGHTER ]
OH, MY GOD!
[ DING! ]
>> NICE!
>> WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE, SWEETIE?
>> [ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]
>> OH, GREAT CHOICE.
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
PUT YOUR NOSE ON SOME PEOPLE.
>> ONE SAUERKRAUT.
>> MURR, WHEN'S YOUR SHIFT OVER.
YOU WANT TO COME HANG OUT AND
MAKE A TV SHOW?
>> [ LAUGHS ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> COME ON!
[ DING! ]
>> YEAH!
>> GET THAT BUN. GET IT, GET IT.
GET IT! GET THAT BUN!
[ DING! ]
>> I'M SORRY. EXCUSE ME.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH, MURR!
>> IF YOU LIKE CARROT CAKE...
[ DING! ]
...[Chuckling] THAT'S THE
BEST ONE.
>> YEAH, MURRAY!
>> HERE COMES JOE.
>> I'M EXPECTING BIG THINGS.
>> HE GETS THIS SMIRK ON
HIS FACE.
>> HE JUST GETS A SWAGGER.
>> HOW LONG IS THE WAIT FOR TWO
PEOPLE?
>> OH, MY GOD.
>> JUST GO FOR IT.
>> NATHAN.
[ DING! ]
NATHAN.
>> SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!
>> GOT HER!
[ DING! ]
HE ALREADY GOT ANOTHER ONE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ DING! ]
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> GOT TO GO GET HER.
[ DING! ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> OH, HE'S GOT HIS EYES ON
SOMEONE.
[ DING! ]
>> OH, NO!
>> HOW LONG CAN HE HOLD IT?
>> 3...4...5...
>> LOOK AT THIS.
>> ...6...7...8...
>> OH, MY GOD.
>> ...9...10...11...
[ DING! ]
>> THE NOSE NINJA STRIKES AGAIN.
[ DING! ]
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> AND SAL LOSES BY A NOSE.
>> WHAT CAN I SAY? I BLEW IT.
[ LAUGHS ]
>> Narrator: SAL NOW
KNOWS [nose] WHAT'S IT LIKE TO
BE ON THE LOSER BOARD.
>> MURR ALWAYS CALLS WOMEN
"SWEETIE."
>> WHAT'S YOUR NAME, SWEETIE?
>> IT'S A TERM OF ENDEARMENT.
YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE, SWEETIE.
IT'S NOT THE WORD "SWEETIE,"
IT'S HOW YOU SAY IT.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE, SWEETIE?
>> IT COULD BE THE TAG LINE FROM
A MOVIE SERIAL KILLER, LIKE...
>> SWEETIE...
SWEETIE...
SWEETIE...
>> HE CUTS THROUGH THE DOOR WITH
AN AX, LIKE, "HI, SWEETIE."
[ LAUGHTER ]
WE'VE GONE BACK TO SCHOOL.
>> WE'RE ON A COLLEGE CAMPUS,
WHERE WE HAVE TO GO UP TO
STUDENTS AND GET SOME SUPPORT
FOR OUR NEW AFTER-SCHOOL CLUB.
>> BUT WE NEED SIGNATURES IN
ORDER TO GET THE CLUB STARTED.
>> THE GOAL IS TO GET AS MANY
SIGNATURES AS WE CAN.
>> WE'VE WRITTEN THEM FOR EACH
OTHER, THOUGH, SO NOBODY HAS
SEEN THE NAME OF THE CLUB BEFORE
THEY OPEN IT.
>> WE'RE TRYING TO GET ENOUGH
SIGNATURES FROM STUDENTS TO
START A NEW CLUB.
IT'S -- IT'S THE, UH...
IT'S THE "TURKEY CLUB, HOLD THE
MAYO."
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND WE'LL FINALLY HAVE A PLACE
TO, YOU KNOW, HAVE TURKEY, UH,
CLUBS AND HOLD THE MAYO.
>> SHE'S SIGNING.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING.
>> HI. WE'RE TRYING TO START A
NEW CLUB AT THE SCHOOL, AND THE
UNIVERSITY IS INSISTING THAT WE
GET ENOUGH SIGNATURES OF
STUDENTS.
IT'S, UH...
SO, THIS IS, UH, A CLUB...
>> WE'RE TRYING TO START A
NEW CLUB AT THE SCHOOL --
YOU KNOW, TO START IT.
IT'S, UH...
IT'S THE "MY MOM'S A MILF" CLUB.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IS YOUR MOM A MILF, OR...
IS SHE?
>> SHE'S GONNA BE A MILF, TOO,
IT SEEMS FROM HERE.
>> OKAY, GREAT, GREAT.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> COME ON, WHO SIGNS THAT
"THEIR MOTHER'S A MILF" CLUB?
>> EASY.
>> WHEN WE HAVE OUR INAUGURAL
MEETING, IF YOU EVER WANT TO
COME BY WITH YOUR MOM...
YOU KNOW?
[ DING! ]
>> THIS IS RIDICULOUS!
>> THEY CALL ME
CAPTAIN SIGNATURE.
HUZZAH!
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> WE'RE JUST GETTING SOME
SIGNATURES.
WE'RE TRYING TO START UP A NEW
CLUB HERE AT THE SCHOOL.
SO, THE NEW ONE IS THE, UH...
IT'S THE "CLEAN HOLES" CLUB...
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> ...UM, BECAUSE THERE'S A LOT
OF DIRTY HOLES OUT THERE.
SO YOU WANT TO GET UP IN THEM
AND CLEAN THEM.
YOU KNOW, THERE'S HOLES ALL OVER
THE WORLD -- YOU KNOW, LIKE
POTHOLES, MANHOLES...
[BLEEP]HOLES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
PRETTY SOON, WE'LL CLEAN THEM
ALL -- CLEAN UP ALL THEM HOLES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
MAN, YOU WANT TO HELP ME OUT A
QUICK SECOND?
I JUST NEED SOME SIGNATURES.
STARTING A CLUB UP HERE ON
CAMPUS, SO...
UH, THE CLUB IS THE
"WHITE PEOPLE BOOK CLUB."
[ LAUGHTER ]
SO, IT'S A BOOK CLUB FOR WHITE
PEOPLE.
IT'S PRETTY BASIC. NO?
WE JUST SIT AROUND AND READ.
>> AND THERE HE IS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WHAT UP, Y'ALL?
WE'RE TRYING TO START A NEW CLUB
FOR SCHOOL.
WE NEED TO GET SIGNATURES.
IF WE GET ENOUGH, THEY'LL LET US
HAVE IT.
UH, THE CLUB IS CALLED
"B.A.L.L.S."
>> TELL HER WHAT THAT STANDS
FOR.
>> UM, IT'S BASICALLY LIKE A
"BLONDES ARE LOVELY LADIES
SOCIETY."
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> NO WAY. HE PULLED IT OFF.
>> SHE'LL PROBABLY HAVE MY
♪ *** ♪
[ DING! ]
>> YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> I HAD TO SAY THAT TO
EVERYBODY.
>> YOU ARE SUCH A FISH OUT OF
WATER WHATEVER YOU DO.
>> NO, NOT ME, MAN. THIS IS IT.
COOL, HIP COLLEGE KID.
>> HOW LONG TILL SOMEBODY
REPORTS HIM TO CAMPUS SECURITY?
>> HI, I'M TRYING TO GET
SIGNATURES TO START A CLUB.
>> WAY TO NOT GET SIGNATURES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WE'RE STARTING SOME CLUBS,
SO, I MEAN, I JUST GOT TO GET
SOME SIGNATURES TO PRESENT TO
THE DEAN.
SEE, THIS IS AN IMPORTANT ONE.
THIS IS "STUDENTS AGAINST
WHEELCHAIR RAMPS."
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
LIKE, YOU'RE -- SEE HOW YOU'RE
ENJOYING THESE STEPS?
IF THAT WAS A RAMP, YOU WOULDN'T
BE ABLE TO DO THAT.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> HE'S ALL...
>> WE NEED PEOPLE. HERE WE GO.
THIS IS THE, UH -- THE, UH,
"DOWN WITH WHITE PEOPLE
ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA."
[ LAUGHTER ]
THERE ARE GOOD CLU-- LOOK, COME
ON, MAN.
YOU AND I BOTH KNOW -- YOU'RE
GONNA TELL ME YOU LIKE WHITE
PEOPLE?
LOOK AT THIS GUY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IF YOU'RE INTO DESIGN, HERE'S
THE "CHILD SIZE COFFIN DESIGN
CLUB."
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> GIVE IT UP, Q.
GUY ISN'T BUYING YOUR
BULL[BLEEP]
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> YEAH, YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.
ABSOLUTELY. HEY!
[ DING! ]
>> COME ON!
>> Narrator: SO, JOE IS
BIG LOSER ON CAMPUS, AND WE'VE
GOT A 3-WAY TIE.
>> YOU GUYS MAKE THE MISTAKE OF
ASKING ME SOMEONE'S NAME.
>> OH, YOU'RE THE WORST AT THAT,
BRO.
>> YOU KNOW, YOU'VE SCREWED ME
OVER SO MANY TIMES WITH THAT!
>> YOU GET ME AT LEAST ONCE A
WEEK.
I CALL SOMEONE THE WRONG NAME.
>> HE EVEN TURNS IT AROUND
ON ME.
HE DOES IT TO ME WHERE I GET THE
NAME RIGHT, AND I GO, "HEY,
JENNY, WHAT'S GOING ON?"
HE GOES, "YOU KNOW HER NAME'S
NOT JENNY, RIGHT?"
>> [ LAUGHS ]
EVERYBODY KNOWS, WHEN YOU GET IN
AN ELEVATOR, YOU HIT YOUR
BUTTON, YOU LOOK FORWARD, AND
YOU MAKE BELIEVE NO ONE ELSE
EXISTS.
>> WE'RE GONNA RIDE UP AND DOWN
IN THE ELEVATOR WITH A BUNCH OF
STRANGERS, AND WE HAVE TO DO AND
SAY WHATEVER THE OTHER GUYS TELL
US TO.
>> 'CAUSE IF YOU REFUSE, YOU
LOSE.
>> OKAY, SAL, GO GET 'EM.
[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]
>> FLOOR?
>> 12.
>> TELL HER YOU'RE GOING
UPSTAIRS TO LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY.
>> I'M HEADED UPSTAIRS TO LOSE
MY VIRGINITY.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> OH, REALLY?
>> YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> UH-HUH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> SHE'S NOT SAYING ANYTHING.
LOOK.
>> SHE CAN'T WAIT TO GET OUT.
[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> SHE'S OFF.
[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]
>> ALL RIGHT, WITH THIS DUDE,
JUST MAKE AN ANNOYING SOUND.
>> DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?
>> UH...
>> UNHHHHHHHHH.
>> SAL, DON'T STOP.
>> UNHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> OH, MAN. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
[ DING! ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> ALL RIGHT, JOE IS IN.
JOE, WHEN THEY GET IN, SHAKE
WHAT YOUR MAMA GAVE YOU.
REALLY GO TO TOWN.
>> LIKE A STRIPPER, BRO. GO.
>> [ SIGHS ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> IT'S YOUR DANCE FLOOR, BABY.
>> THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT.
>> THERE YOU GO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> [ SIGHS ]
>> WHAT STRIP CLUBS HAVE YOU
BEEN GOING TO?
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> I'M GONNA BE HEADING UP.
>> ALL RIGHT, START HAVING A
LOUD ARGUMENT -- LIKE, AN
INCREDIBLY LOUD ONE, JOE.
>> I DON'T CARE. COME ON.
I DON'T EVEN CARE.
NO! NO! NO!
NO! NO!
[ LAUGHTER ]
NO!
NO!
NO!
[ LAUGHTER ]
NO!
NO! NO!
NO!
NO!
NO!
[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]
NO! IT'S "NO"!
NO! NO!
>> ARE YOU GETTING OFF HERE?
>> 12? YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
NO!
[ DING! ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> LET'S THROW MURR UNDER THE
BUS, SHALL WE?
>> YES.
>> HEY, MURR, TELL THIS GUY YOU
GOT TO TAKE A MASSIVE DUMP.
[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU GOT TO DUMP IT UP.
>> I GOT A POOP ALERT.
[ CHUCKLES ]
>> POOP ALERT? POOP ALERT.
>> AND THEN, WHEN THE DOOR
OPENS, RUN.
RUN, RUN, RUN!
[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]
GO! KNOCK THE LADY OVER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]
>> EXCUSE ME.
>> SORRY.
>> ACT LIKE SOMEBODY FARTED IN
THERE.
>> THERE'S ONLY TWO OF THEM.
>> [ SNIFFS ]
OH, MY GOD.
[ LAUGHTER ]
DO YOU SMELL THAT?
>> NO, I'M NOT SURE. IS IT BAD?
>> IT'S GETTING WORSE AS WE
GO UP.
>> IF IT'S BAD, I MEAN, I DON'T
WANT TO...
>> WHOO!
OH, MY GOD!
>> MURR, ASK HER IS SHE DID IT.
>> IS THAT ME?
>> I DON'T...
>> OR IS IT YOU?
>> NO, IT'S NOT ME.
[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]
>> ARE YOU SURE?
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ DING! ]
>> OKAY.
YOU'RE GOING TO 12?
I'M GOING TO 5.
>> Q, MAKE IT STOP ON EVERY
FLOOR.
[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]
>> GOOD LUCK.
>> [ Laughing ] THEY'VE ONLY
GONE ONE FLOOR.
>> THIS IS THE MEZZANINE.
>> THIS IS THE MEZZANINE?
>> HE'S PRESSING EVERY BUTTON ON
THE ELEVATOR.
[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]
>> 6. GOOD LUCK.
>> HE JUST KEEPS PUSHING THE
BUTTONS.
>> ALL RIGHT, WELL, GOOD LUCK.
>> NO, I STILL HAVE THREE MORE
FLOORS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WAIT, DON'T PRESS ANY MORE.
LET 12 LIGHT UP.
>> HE DIDN'T GO ANYWHERE.
>> WAIT.
>> I GOT IT, I GOT IT, I GOT IT.
[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]
GOOD LUCK.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> YOU'RE STILL ON 9.
>> I'M SORRY. I GOT IT. COME ON.
>> DON'T PRESS ANY MORE.
YOU BLEW IT.
[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]
>> LET ME DO IT.
>> I DON'T WANT YOU TO.
>> ALL RIGHT, WELL, GOOD LUCK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
HOWDY. WHAT FLOOR YOU GOING ON?
>> Q, ASK THIS WOMAN TO POP A
PIMPLE ON YOUR BACK.
>> HE'LL NEVER DO IT.
>> HI.
>> HI.
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
>> HE'LL NEVER DO IT.
SHE'S TOO HOT.
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
>> DO IT, Q.
>> STOP STALLING, BUDDY.
[ SOFT, ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS ]
[ RECORD SCRATCHES ]
>> I CAN'T. SHE'S TOO CUTE.
YOU'RE ON HIDDEN CAMERA.
>> OH! COME ON!
>> SHE'S WAY TOO NICE.
[ BUZZER ]
>> THE QUICKEST WAY TO LOSE IS
TO LET PEOPLE KNOW THAT
WE'RE FILMING.
>> "THERE'S A CAMERA HERE,
THERE."
>> LOSS IS A FUNNY CONCEPT,
'CAUSE DIGITS...
>> THAT'S HER REAL PHONE NUMBER?
>> LET ME SEE THIS.
>> LET ME SEE THIS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Narrator: SO Q GOES DOWN,
GIVING US A 4-WAY TIE.
>> GENTLEMEN, WE'RE STANDING AT
THE PRECIPICE OF THE UNKNOWN.
>> IT'S A 4-WAY TIE.
>> WHAT DOES THIS MEAN -- NONE
OF US GET PUNISHED?
>> NO, WE ALL GET PUNISHED.
>> ♪ DUNH DUNH DUH ♪
>> WE'RE HERE AT ASHLEY TAYLOR'S
HAIR SALON FOR A ONE-OF-A-KIND,
TOTALLY UNPRECEDENTED, 4-WAY
PUNISHMENT.
>> THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.
>> YEAH, IT'S NUTS.
>> MEANING, WE GET TO DO
WHATEVER WE WANT TO EACH OTHER'S
HAIR -- WHATEVER WE WANT.
>> WE'RE GO IN ORDER FROM MOST
COOL TO LEAST COOL, SO I'M
FIRST.
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
>> YOU'RE LAST.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> [ Rapping ] ♪ DO IT, DO IT ♪
>> FIRST UP TO SLAUGHTER.
>> JOE DOESN'T LIKE LONG HAIR,
SO I WANT TO WORK WITH THAT.
WE'RE GONNA GO FOR A
MICHAEL BOLTON WITH HIM TODAY.
>> AND WHEN HE WALKS DOWN THE
STREET AFTER THIS, I WANT PEOPLE
TO LOOK AT HIM AND BE LIKE,
"WHAT THE [BLEEP] IS THAT GUY
DOING?"
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
>> OKAY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SO...
>> DON'T CALL ME MUSTACHE.
THIS CLOWN CALLED ME A MUSTACHE.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> READY FOR THIS?
[ LAUGHTER ]
LOOK AT MY CREATION.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ SOFT MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> WE'RE GONNA GO AHEAD -- I'M
GONNA WANT THIS THIS COLOR.
SO, THAT'S STEP ONE.
LET'S DO THAT.
>> I QUIT.
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
>> WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
>> THE BLEACH.
WE'RE GONNA PUT THIS IN.
>> BLEACH?
>> WE HAVE TO FIRST BLEACH
HIS HAIR?
>> LIKE BLEACH THAT THEY USE ON
CLOTHES?
>> THE BLEACH CAN CAUSE SKIN
IRRITATION AND BURN YOU.
>> OH, MY GOD, YOU JUST REMIND
ME OF MY GRANDMOTHER.
>> DID YOU HEAR DOROTHY'S GODSON
BOUGHT THE HOUSE AT THE END OF
THE BLOCK?
>> I DID, I DID.
>> HE'S HOT [BLEEP] NOW.
>> TAKE A LOOK...CAPTAIN.
>> THAT'S YOUR NEW HAIRSTYLE.
>> OPEN UP. AW.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> OH! COME ON!
>> YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS.
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
>> [ LAUGHS ]
[ RAZOR BUZZING ]
>> OH HO HO.
>> [ SPITTING ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
GETTING HAIR IN MY EYES!
WHAT EXACTLY IS GOING ON HERE?!
WHAT -- WHAT -- WHAT -- WHAT IS
BEING DONE TO ME?
I WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S BEING DONE
TO ME.
OW!
HOLY [BLEEP]
>> OH, WHAT'S THE MATTER?
DOES IT HURT?
>> OH!
>> I JUST -- I GOT STABBED IN
THE SKULL JUST NOW!
>> OH, IT'S JUST CHEMICAL
BLEACH.
>> OW!
OW!
AAH!!
>> [ LAUGHS ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> OH, MY GOD.
>> ARE YOU GONNA CRY?
>> NO. NO, BUT THIS IS F'ed UP.
>> NO, YOU LOOK GREAT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> [ Italian accent ] HEY,
WELCOME TO MY JOB, EH?
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S OKAY. HEY.
♪ DUNH-DUNH DUNH--DUNH-DUH ♪
♪ DUNH-DUNH DUNH-DUNH
DUH-DUH-DUH DUH ♪
♪ HEY ♪
♪ DUNH-DUNH DUNH-DUNH-DUH ♪
♪ HUH-DUH DAY-DUH-DAY ♪
♪ DUNH-DUNH DUNH-DUNH
DUNH-DUNH-DUH ♪
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
>> [ Laughing ] OH, MY GOD!
WHAT THE [BLEEP]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> COULD YOU IMAGINE THIS COMING
AT YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF THE
NIGHT?
[ LAUGHTER ]