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Beyoncé.
So what are you gonna say at my funeral now that you’ve killed me?
Hi, I’m Kellie Pickler, and the CMA award for best female vocalist goes to...Beyoncé.
Hey YouTube world, it's me, Evelyn.
Beyoncé was giving me Waiting To Exhale meets Their Eyes Were Watching God.
Eve’s Bayou meets Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes.
She was giving me Iyanla Fix My Life but with better ***, better advice, actually fixing lives!
She was giving me 1st Corinthians: "Love is", and then Tina Turner "What's Love Got To Do With It".
She was giving me Set It Off meets that circle of hell where The Weeknd lives.
I hope he's okay.
She gave you Idlewild. She gave you Nina Simone, Nefertiti, Venus de Milo.
Beyoncé pulled out the VHS tapes, gave us the past.
She called on Trayvon Martin, Mike Brown, and Eric Garner's mothers to give us the present, OKAY?
And then she surrounded us with visuals of the black future:
Quvenzhané and Blue Ivy. The black future, Amandla and Zendaya.
Beyoncé called James Blake out of whatever forest in Narnia he resides in,
to give YOU British Aaron Neville teas.
She called Serena Williams, one of the world’s best athletes--
and you can fight me on that -
JUST...
to look back at it.
She said: "Hey Serena, i know you’re busy,
but i’m working on something and it needs a little 'je ne sais quoi',
and your thighs are the only thing that speak that language. Are you free Wednesday?"
She’s giving me Candomblé. She’s giving me Yoruba.
She’s giving me souf [south], wit an "f".
Beyoncé said: "In case the imagery thus far is lost on you,
let me insert the voice of Malcolm X to help me communicate what I am trying to say."
I'M BLACKITY BLACK BLACK BLACK!
Listen, me and girls are gonna book a retreat right now, in the Texas Hill Country.
We're gonna wear our hair product free. If you got baby hairs, wear that.
If you got afros, wear that.
We gon soak some greens. We gon walk around barefoot.
We are going to be dressed in the latest doily fashions,
AND YOU CAN STAY MAD!
I thought Lemonade was fantastic.
What about you? Tell me in the comments.
Follow me on Twitter, cause that's where I live tweeted the whole thing.
And I'll see you on the Internet somewhere, BYE!