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Hello Bailers!
and it has been snowing in Britain
That means that we've had lots of frozen rain fall from the clouds
and land on the floor, its settled and we've managed to get up to about a foot
where I live, and...yeah
it's just been insane, so I offer you two things.
Would you, one, want to take my dogs for a walk?
Or two, smash down my failed igloo because I ran out of snow to finish it?
[Ethereal chanting]
The other day I was walking home
and I decided to take a shortcut home
and that shortcut was through an alleyway
of which I came across a very, very small man
wearing a type of mad hatters style...top hat
but he was there in this dark alleyway
You couldn't see his face, he was rubbing his hands,
and he was going, "would you like some beans?"
What do you mean "beans"?
Is this some type of slang for a drug? or coffee beans?
or baked beans? Beanie bags?
And as it turned out, this very tiny man was actually offering me
coffee beans. And...I was like...
Well, why are you offering me coffee beans?
To which he replied, "these coffee beans are apparently
very very special"
and they do something too you
I don't know, I didn't really listen
I was just amazed by the fact this guy was offering me coffee beans
So I don't know what these actually do
but he said, ground them up, hop on one foot, and sing a song.
[Chuckles] I'm actually joking
He didn't actually tell me to sing a song,
It was just, ground the coffee and hop on one foot.
Here we go...
There are 62,000 miles of blood vessels in the human body
if they were laid end to end they would circle the earth
2.5 times
Polar bears can run at 25mph and can jump over 6 feet into the air
Sir Isaac Newton wrote a letter in 1704, and in that letter
he said the world would actually end on 2060
He had an interest in biblical prophecies
and he came to this prediction by studying various biblical texts
The Earth has been around for about 4.54 billion years
and apparently there is a comet coming in the year 2029
and another one in the year 2036
So we've got two chances of being hit.
Asteroid 1,227 is called "Geranium"
And the ozone layer smells...very slightly
of Geraniums
Geranium is a genus of 422 species of flowering annual, biennial, and perennial plants
These are commonly known as the "Cranesbill"
Light travels 18 million times faster than rain
And if you're British you'll be interested to know
that the Queen is the legal owner of one sixth of the Earths land surface.
Octopuses have three hearts
Beat that Doctor Who
And while on the subject of three's
Kangaroo's have three vaginas.
Teenagers spend an average of 31 hours online every week.
You obviously haven't met people who live on Tumblr.
The mass of magma in a volcano is the equivalent of...
I need more, I need more of these!
God, I need to ground these...some more of these up
Come on, come on
[The beautiful sound of coffee beans being stuffed into a mouth]
[Electrical sparking]
[Muffled explosion]
Geranium is a genus of 422 species of flowering annual, biennial, and perennial plants
...urgh!
And interestingly Geranium is the genus of 422 different species of...
God damn it!
Geranium is a genus of 422 species of flowering annual, biennial, and perennial plants
Argh
422 species of...flowering annual, flowering annual, flowering annual,
biennial, and perennial plants
flowering annual, biennial, and perennial plants
annual, biennial, and perennial
Geranium is a genus of 422 species of flowering annual, biennial
Oh my god! I almost had it!
Geranium is a genus of 422 species of flowering annual, biennial, and perennial plaARGH
Oh my god!
[Scream of rage]