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>> AFTER THE ACCIDENT I DIDN'T LIKE RIDING IN CARS.
MY HEART WOULD BEAT REALLY FAST.
IT WAS SCARY.
>> I DON'T LIKE WALKING TO MY BEST FRIEND'S HOUSE ANYMORE.
BECAUSE I HAVE TO CROSS "THAT" STREET.
NOW I DON'T SEE HIM AS MUCH, AND I DON'T LIKE THAT EITHER.
>> HOW DO NEW FEARS DEVELOP?
WHEN SOMETHING SCARY HAPPENS, LIKE AN ACCIDENT OR AN INJURY,
WE OFTEN LEARN TO TREAT THINGS CONNECTED TO IT AS IF THEY WERE
DANGER SIGNALS.
THE NEXT TIME SOMETHING REMINDS US OF WHAT HAPPENED,
OUR BODY REACTS AS IF WE WERE IN DANGER,
EVEN IF WE'RE SAFE.
YOU MIGHT NOT EVEN KNOW THAT YOUR BODY SENSED REMINDER,
BUT SUDDENLY YOU FEEL SCARED OR NERVOUS AND HAVE PHYSICAL
REACTIONS, LIKE YOUR HEART STARTS RACING, OR YOU BEGIN TO SWEAT.
A TRAUMA REMINDER CAN BE ANYTHING--A PLACE,
OR A PERSON, A SIGHT OR A SOUND, OR EVEN A SMELL.
IT MIGHT BE SOMETHING YOU HARDLY NOTICE UNTIL THE SCARED FEELINGS
COME FLOODING BACK.
>> HOW DO WE GET OVER NEW FEARS?
>> EVEN THOUGH IT'S HARD, FACING REMINDERS OVER AND OVER,
IN THE COURSE OF NORMAL LIFE, CAN ACTUALLY HELP.
WE CAN FEEL VERY ANXIOUS AT FIRST, BUT EACH TIME WE EXPERIENCE
A TRAUMA REMINDER AND HANG IN THERE LONG ENOUGH
TO KNOW THAT IT DOESN'T LEAD TO DANGER THE SCARED FEELINGS
TEND TO GET WEAKER.
IT'S NATURAL FOR YOUR CHILD TO WANT TO STAY AWAY FROM THINGS
THAT REMIND AND UPSET HIM.
BUT TOO MUCH AVOIDANCE CAN GET IN THE WAY OF THE NATURAL
RECOVERY PROCESS AND MAKE IT HARDER TO GET OVER FEELING SCARED.
AS A PARENT, YOU PLAY AN IMPORTANT ROLE IN HELPING YOUR
CHILD FACE NEW FEARS WITHOUT GETTING STUCK IN AVOIDANCE.
>> HOW CAN PARENTS TELL IF FEARS OR WORRIES ARE REALLY A PROBLEM?
>> ASK YOURSELF, "DOES FEELING AFRAID OR NERVOUS STOP YOUR
CHILD FROM GETTING BACK TO NORMAL, SAFE ACTIVITIES OR FROM ENJOYING
THINGS EVEN IF HE MANAGES TO DO THEM?"
IF SO, YOU CAN HELP YOUR CHILD DEAL WITH NEW FEARS AND WORRIES
BEFORE THEY BECOME A BIGGER PROBLEM.
>> WHAT CAN PARENTS DO?
>> FIRST, HELP YOUR CHILD MAKE CHANGES THAT REALLY DO HELP HIM
KEEP SAFE-- LIKE WEARING A BIKE HELMET,
CROSSING THE STREET CAREFULLY, OR LETTING YOU KNOW
WHERE HE'S GOING.
IF YOUR CHILD IS NERVOUS ABOUT DOING SOMETHING SHE USED TO DO,
TALK TOGETHER AND HELP HER FIGURE OUT--
IS THIS REALLY HELPING ME STAY SAFE, OR AM I AVOIDING SOMETHING
JUST SO I WON'T FEEL NERVOUS?
HELP YOUR CHILD UNDERSTAND TRAUMA REMINDERS AND AVOIDANCE.
SOMETIMES KIDS NEED HELP TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS THAT MAKES
THEM BEGIN TO FEEL SCARED OR NERVOUS.
ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD TO KEEP DOING THOSE SAFE THINGS THAT
MAKE HIM NERVOUS AND PRAISE HIS COURAGE WHEN HE DOES.
>> AT FIRST IT WAS SO HARD FOR MY DAUGHTER TO GET BACK
ON THE SCHOOL BUS.
AND IT WAS HARD FOR ME TOO, TO SEE HER FEELING SO JUMPY
AND NERVOUS.
I ALMOST WANTED TO TAKE HER TO SCHOOL MYSELF EACH MORNING
SO SHE WOULDN'T HAVE TO FEEL THAT WAY.
SHE HAD BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH.
BUT, AFTER SHE DID IT A FEW TIMES,
I COULD SEE HER RELAXING, AND SHE WAS REALLY HAPPY
TO BE WITH HER FRIENDS.
I'M GLAD WE HUNG IN THERE.
>> FINALLY, IT'S IMPORTANT FOR PARENTS TO NOTICE
THEIR OWN WORRIES.
ASK YOURSELF, "DO MY WORRIES STOP ME FROM LETTING MY CHILD
DO THINGS HE REALLY SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO DO?"
IF YOU'RE NOT SURE, USE A TRUSTED FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER
AS A REALITY CHECK FOR YOURSELF TO HELP YOU SORT THROUGH YOUR
WORRIES ABOUT YOUR CHILD'S SAFETY.
IF YOU'RE NOT SURE WHETHER YOUR CHILD'S WORRIES
OR FEARS ARE REALISTIC OR IF YOU AREN'T SURE HOW TO
ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD TO FACE THINGS THAT HE'S AVOIDING,
GET SOME HELP.
TALK WITH YOUR FAMILY DOCTOR, SCHOOL COUNSELOR,
OR SOMEONE ELSE YOU TRUST, OR SEEK A COUNSELOR WHO CAN HELP
YOU AND YOUR CHILD WITH TRAUMATIC STRESS REACTIONS.