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The gaming industry you used to know...is pretty much on life support. Like it's been
stabbed in the chest. Alright, it's not that dramatic, but things have really changed for
gaming. And one of its biggest and most problematic changes...is the customer's perception of
the product's value.
These days, you can get great games...for, like, 99 cents. For a lot of people, that's
made 60 bucks seem ridiculous. And that's something the industry has been forced to
adapt to. Publishers are moving to digital distribution, they're taking fewer risks...some
are even doing games that are free, but they make you—
The first portion of this review was completely free to watch! And it's just $9.99 per minute
to unlock the rest of it! Yes, Classic Game Room accepts...traveler's checks. If it seems
too complicated, just send money.
How about tens and twenties?
So, listen...I get it, alright? I get that it's not 1992 anymore. I get that I can't
just buy a game and get the complete finished product. It sucks, but hey...I get it. Things
have to change. But not all of those changes are the right changes. The concept of freemium
games has really caught on, but...if they're not done right, they come across as shameless
cash grabs.
And I don't think I've ever played one as shamelessly shameless as this one.
This is, like, begging...at this point.
Obviously, Spartacus: Legends is a freemium game. It's also a fighting game. It gives
players a whole army of slaves-turned-gladiators. Actually, it gives you one slave. The army
is gonna cost you, like, 20 bucks. Nonetheless, there is an interesting structure here. You
move from map to map taking on various warriors, unlocking new areas, leveling up...the only
thing is, the game makes you pay for it.
With money and boredom.
Look, this just isn't a good game in general, but to pinpoint it...I think there are two
problems here. The first of which is...the gameplay is just kind of broken. I mean, you
can do all kinds of different moves—rolls, grabs, shield breaks, kicking people in the
balls—but all you really have to do is spam the same attack over and over. In fact, things
actually get harder when you try to mix it up and play the right way.
I'm, like, terrible at fighters. And even I know that sucks.
None of the fighters have any character, but fortunately, there are enough weapons to give
the game some variety. A guy with a spear fights a lot different than a guy with two
daggers, or a guy with a sword. I mean, until you figure out what move to mash. Then, it's
lights out. But hey, at least you can use all those weapons, too. And it's fun to experiment
with them, and learn all their different tendencies...
And which buttons to mash. Seriously, guys. It's freaking...Mashed Potatoes.
The Game.
The Revenge.
But the second problem, the bigger problem...is that Spartacus takes freemium to a whole 'nother
level. Things cost way more than you earn, which is normal. But then, the game makes
you pay for even the most basic functionality. Like, in this fight, I earned a new perk for
my character. Like, in the fight. But to apply that perk, that I earned in the game? Oh,
that's gonna cost you money. REPLACING ITEMS WITH ITEMS YOU ALREADY HAVE COSTS MONEY.
The gaming industry is in a weird state of evolution right now. Hopefully, when we look
back, we'll remember games like Spartacus: Legends the same way we remember the human
tail. Something that was more annoying than useful.
And stuck to our ***.