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THROUGH GAY EYES
Episode 1 Holding Hands in Public
Zsolt, would you hold your boyfriend’s hand on the streets of Budapest?
- Well... if I had a boyfriend... - Okay, let's suppose you do.
So, you have a boyfriend, would you hold his hand on the street?
I think it depends on the circumstances.
- Are you scared? - Well, not really scared but...
I'd probably control myself. I'd think "Oh, I’m not allowed to do this".
Because what would my parents say if for example a family member saw me
and told my parents... You know, things like that.
Well, I’m out so I don’t mind if anybody spots me.
But do you actually do this? Or you just "wouldn’t mind"?
No, I’m not doing it because my boyfriend doesn’t want me to hold his hand on the street.
But I think I would do that... Yes, I would hold his hand in public.
And why doesn't he want you to?
Because if you are out...
then you must be both out, right? – Well... we are both out...
but he is less out compared to me. His family hasn't entirely accepted him being out yet,
and not all of his friends know it so he may be concerned about "what if somebody spots us".
Maybe gay people think that some would want to hurt them or beat them up.
I think it is at night when people are afraid of violence; not so much during daytime.
So to summarise what you have said: If we went to Pécs...
where you don't have any relatives or friends
there you'd hold your boyfriend's hand... At daytime in the city center.
Well... I'm not sure... Maybe not in Hungary.
Imagine, once I was walking alone at Nyugati Station
and by the front entrance of McDonald’s (so exactly in the middle of the station)
two guys met on the stairs... and French kissed. It took one or two seconds and the only person
who was astonished was me.
I stopped and stared at them; I just couldn’t move. I thought "Oh my, where am I? In Budapest?!"
Maybe the key thing is that if we behave casually on the street and if kissing is casual, too
then it doesn't upset anyone.
Or if this is really not about some gays wanting to deliberately provoke other people.
Yeah, it can provoke others when it's on purpose and there are no real feelings behind it.
Yes, or if you deliberately demonstrate that you are walking hand in hand
just to show how brave you are.
People may say to this that it’s over the line...
But if we behave naturally then probably nobody will notice.
Once it happened to me that I met my boyfriend on Váci street.
We both forgot about being in public and kissed. Only a moment later did we realize
that maybe we shouldn't have done it... But nobody seemed to care anything.
Maybe all these "social limitations" that we gays often refer to
and say that we can’t walk hand in hand are not true after all...
Openly about being gay: www.melegvagyok.hu