Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
This year, since the last couple of years,
we get towards the end of the day, and it gets dark,
and the groups have to do their skits in the dark,
we're gonna start with groups today.
[applause]
Our first group skit
is called "Touchtone and the Call Girls."
9006! 9006! 9006!
Hooray! Woooohoooo!
Once again, Engineering has delivered a quality product on schedule!
Yes! Yahoo!
We have every reason to expect that the field trial, starting tomorrow, will be an outstanding success!
9006! 9006! 9006! Hooray!
Excuse me! Excuse me!
Yes?
I'm Sales. John Sales. From Marketing.
[screams and faints]
Lois!
Give her air! Give her air!
What a shock!
Nice to meet you, too.
I know the field trial starts tomorrow,
but we have just a few more requirements for you.
Yes, and we'd like them to be completed by...
Yesterday!
So, what do you think?
[music starts]
I feel a sudden urge to sing
about the impact on call processing.
But I'll keep my answer terse,
if you promise not to curse!
These goals you've stated seem to me
disconnected from reality.
So to spare you all the pain,
I'll summarize for your simple brain!
[laughter]
Did you write this stuff while drinking beer?
'cause if you want us to do this, dear,
It's designing! It's development!
It's debugging!
[applause]
Requirements like yours depict
why we're late with 9006:
It's designing! It's development!
It's debugging!
I can tell at a glance
that this product does not have a chance!
I can hear Peter Pribilla saying he thinks
Ach! Your ideas shtink!
[laughter]
So I may say, in summary,
what your requirements mean to me:
It's designing! It's development!
It's disastrous!
It's delectable! It's desirable!
It's deductible! It's delivered!
It's de-HICOM!
[gasps, applause]
[more laughter]
Judge Beckwith?
Can we have someone from Service down here?
We have a system that crashed...