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I'M THE CHEAPEST GIRLFRIEND IN AMERICA.
Narrator: MONEY MAKES THE WORLD GO 'ROUND.
I'M A CHEAPSKATE MECHANIC.
Narrator: BUT SOME OBSESSIVE PENNY-PINCHERS...
DAMN.
...SCRIMP, SKIMP, AND SCROUNGE...
IF IT DOESN'T GET ALL DRUNK UP, I POUR IT BACK.
Narrator: ...IN THE SEARCH FOR EVERY DIRT-CHEAP DISCOUNT.
THERE'S NOTHING THAT WOULD EXPIRE...
...OR ABOUT TO EXPIRE?
NO, MA'AM. WE DON'T SELL EXPIRED PRODUCT HERE.
FOR THE MOST FANATICALLY FRUGAL...
THIS IS A DUAL-PURPOSE SINK AND SHOWER.
Narrator: ...KEEPING A TIGHT FIST ON THEIR FUNDS...
Larry: TAKE A CAN OF COLA, FEMININE PAD,
AND IT LOOKS LIKE BRAND-NEW GLASS WHEN I GET THROUGH.
Narrator: ...MEANS NO PERSONAL SACRIFICE IS TOO HIGH.
SO, YOU HAVE NO BEDROOM?
NOT RIGHT NOW.
OKAY.
...EXTREME CHEAPSKATES.
-- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com
CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS
Stephanie: I DO BELIEVE
THAT LAUNDRY DETERGENT DOES RUN A SCAM ON PEOPLE.
I LEARNED HOW TO CONSERVE MY DETERGENT
BY MY METHOD AT WORK, DRAWING BLOOD.
THE MEASUREMENTS ARE VERY PRECISE.
BY USING THE AMOUNT THAT I PUT INSIDE OF THE SYRINGE,
IT WEIGHS OUT CORRECTLY, SO I'M NOT OVERDOING IT.
I COLLECT LINT FROM THE DRIER, FIRST OFF BECAUSE IT'S CLEAN.
SECONDLY, I DON'T HAVE TO BUY COTTON SWABS.
SO I USE IT TO REMOVE MY NAIL POLISH,
MY MAKEUP.
I'M USING THE LINT RIGHT NOW
TO APPLY MY COMPACT POWDER ON MY FACE.
IT SHADES IT OUT VERY GOOD, JUST AS IF A COTTON SWAB WOULD.
I AM NOT WORRIED ABOUT HOW SANITIZED LINT IS.
IF THE CLOTHES HAVE BEEN DRIED AND RAN THROUGH THE WASHER
AND THEY'VE BEEN WASHED,
THEREFORE THE LINT IS CLEAN ITSELF.
Narrator: STEPHANIE HAS COUNTLESS MONEY-SAVING TACTICS.
BY USING JUST ONE LIGHT BULB
THAT SHE MOVES FROM ROOM TO ROOM,
SHE SAVES MORE THAN $60 A MONTH ON HER ELECTRIC BILL.
Patrick: STEPHANIE HAS A GOOD JOB. SHE WORKS AT A DOCTOR'S OFFICE.
SHE DOES HAVE A LOT OF MONEY SAVED UP.
SHE DOESN'T WANT TO SPEND NOTHING.
IT'S JUST RIDICULOUS, BUT I DO IT
'CAUSE I LOVE STEPHANIE, AND SO...
IN OUR HOUSE, WE HAVE WHAT WE CALL NAVY SHOWERS.
I'M NOT ALLOWED TO TAKE LONG SHOWERS
'CAUSE STEPHANIE WANTS TO SAVE WATER FOR THE WATER BILL.
I GO IN, TURN THE WATER ON, RINSE MY BODY OFF.
CUT THE WATER OFF...
LATHER YOUR BODY DOWN.
MAKE SURE YOU GET EVERY AREA SO YOU DON'T MISS ANYTHING,
'CAUSE YOU CAN'T COME BACK TO IT.
AND GET OUT.
I DON'T REALLY GET TO WASH MY FULL BODY.
LIKE, I'M A GROWN-*** MAN.
I SHOULD BE ABLE TO JUST GET IN THERE, TAKE A MANLY SHOWER.
TURN IT OFF!
Narrator: TO KEEP HER WATER BILL DOWN,
STEPHANIE FOUND A WAY TO MAKE SURE
PATRICK STICKS TO A TWO-MINUTE SHOWER.
RIGHT NOW, PATRICK!
[ SIGHS ]
STEPHANIE HAS A BABY MONITOR.
MY FAMILY FEELS THAT MY CHEAPSKATE WAYS ARE OUT THERE,
BUT I DON'T REALLY CARE.
THIS IS MY REUSABLE BOILING WATER.
YES, I KNOW IT MAY BE A LITTLE CHUNKY,
BUT IT SAVES ME FROM SPENDING MORE MONEY ON MY WATER BILL
BY CUTTING ON THE WATER,
PUTTING MORE WATER IN THE POT, DUMPING IT,
AND THEN DOING IT ALL OVER AGAIN.
SO, THAT SAVES MY WATER.
LUNCHTIME. COME ON. LET'S EAT.
WHEN ARE YOU GONNA CHANGE THAT WATER?
I'LL CHANGE IT IN DUE TIME. JUST DON'T RUSH ME,
'CAUSE THE MORE YOU ASK ME THAT, THE LONGER I HAVE TO KEEP IT.
MM-HMM.
YOU GONNA EAT ALL YOUR FOOD?
YEAH.
I AM ABLE TO MAKE THE MOST OF EVERY FOOD AND DRINK
THAT WE HAVE IN THIS HOUSE
BY REUSING.
IF IT DOESN'T GET ALL DRUNK UP, I'LL POUR IT BACK.
IF IT DOESN'T GET ALL SLOPPED UP,
I PUT IT BACK IN ITS CONTAINER.
GONNA SAVE THIS PASTA SAUCE FOR THE NEXT SPAGHETTI DINNER.
Patrick: WE DO NOT HAVE TO BE CHEAP. WE REALLY DON'T.
SHE HAS MONEY. I HAVE MONEY.
LIKE, WHAT'S THE POINT IN BEING SO CHEAP FOR?
I UNDERSTAND THAT IT SAVES, BUT, LIKE, SHE'S BEING TOO CHEAP.
Narrator: WITH A STRICT MONTHLY FOOD BUDGET OF $400,
THERE'S NO ROOM IN STEPHANIE'S WORLD
FOR EXTRA EXPENSES, INCLUDING ENTERTAINING GUESTS.
PATRICK REALLY WANTS TO HAVE A FOOTBALL PARTY.
I AM VERY UNHAPPY ABOUT PEOPLE COMING OVER TO OUR HOUSE.
TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, LIKE, HANDS AND KNEES.
Stephanie: HAVING PEOPLE OVER TO THE HOUSE
MEANS STEPHANIE'S POCKETS ARE GETTING DUG INTO,
AND I DO NOT LIKE THAT.
I'M NOT GONNA CHANGE WHAT I DO TO IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS.
YOU WANTED THIS PARTY.
YOU KNOW HOW THINGS GO IN OUR HOUSE.
COME ON.
NO.
VISITORS.
DOLLARS, CENTS.
I'M JUST NOT WITH THE WHOLE PEOPLE COMING OVER THING.
I FEEL VERY UNCOMFORTABLE
HOSTING A FOOTBALL PARTY AT OUR HOUSE,
BUT I LOVE PATRICK.
THE LASAGNA'S IN THE DISHWASHER.
I MULTITASK WITH WASHING DISHES AND COOKING MEALS
WITH MY DISHWASHER.
THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE EATING TONIGHT.
Narrator: STEPHANIE BENNETT REFUSES TO STRAY FROM A STRICT BUDGET,
BUT TODAY, SHE'S MAKING AN EXCEPTION
BY HOSTING A FOOTBALL PARTY FOR HER BOYFRIEND, PATRICK.
Stephanie: THIS FOOTBALL PARTY
IS THROWING MY MONTHLY BUDGET WAY OFF COURSE.
IT'S NOT A TOUCHDOWN FOR ME.
WHEN I BUY FRUITS AND VEGETABLES,
I WANT TO PAY FOR WHAT I EAT, NOT FOR WHAT I DON'T EAT.
THERE'S NO NEED TO PAY FOR THE VINE
IF ALL I'M EATING IS THE GRAPES.
THAT'LL DO ME JUSTICE.
PROBABLY ONLY NEED ABOUT THREE OF THESE.
MY BANANAS -- I'M NOT GONNA EAT THE WHOLE OF THE BANANA.
I EAT THE BANANA ITSELF.
Narrator: BY REMOVING THE PEELS, PITS, AND STEMS FROM FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
BEFORE THEY'RE WEIGHED AT THE REGISTER,
STEPHANIE SAVES UP TO $3 PER SHOPPING TRIP.
I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYONE PEEL BANANAS
AND PUT THEM IN A BASKET.
THAT IS WEIRD.
YES, MA'AM. WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?
I'M GONNA BE MAKING A LASAGNA.
YES, MA'AM.
SO, I'M GONNA NEED SOME GROUND BEEF.
BY ANY CHANCE, IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER GROUND BEEF
THAT'S ALREADY LEFTOVER...
IT'S ALL SOLD.
WE SELL IT ON A DAILY BASIS, FRESH, ALL THE TIME.
OKAY, AND SO THERE'S NOTHING THAT WOULD EXPIRE...
...OR ABOUT TO EXPIRE?
NO, MA'AM. WE DON'T SELL EXPIRED PRODUCT HERE.
NO TRUE MEAT MARKET WOULD EVER DO THAT.
CAN I SEE WHAT YOUR BEEF FAT LOOKS LIKE?
ALL RIGHT.
THANK YOU.
WOW, AND HOW MUCH WOULD TWO POUNDS OF THE BEEF FAT BE?
LET ME CUT A PIECE OFF,
AND WE'LL GET AS CLOSE TO TWO POUNDS AS WE CAN, ALL RIGHT?
OKAY.
1.97.
AND HOW MUCH IS THAT?
$2.53, MA'AM.
YOU'LL TAKE THE BEEF FAT?
I'M SATISFIED WITH THAT.
I HAVE MY GROUND BEEF OVER HERE.
I'M GOING TO STRETCH OUT THE BEEF
BY ADDING THE REST OF THIS, OR WHATEVER'S LEFT FROM THIS,
TO STRETCH IT OUT FOR THE LASAGNA.
Narrator: BY SUPPLEMENTING THE MEAT WITH THE BEEF FAT,
STEPHANIE SAVED 75% ON THE INGREDIENTS FOR HER LASAGNA.
THIS IS WHY WE SAVE THE SAUCE. MM-MMM.
NOW, TO SAVE MONEY,
I MULTITASK WITH WASHING DISHES AND COOKING MEALS
WITH MY DISHWASHER.
I JUST GOT TO MAKE SURE I WRAP IT REALLY WELL,
OR ELSE THE FOOD WILL GET WET.
Narrator: WITH THE DISHWASHER REACHING A TEMPERATURE OF 170 DEGREES,
THE LASAGNA WILL BE FULLY COOKED IN 1 1/2 HOURS,
WITHOUT USING THE ADDITIONAL GAS OF AN OVEN.
WELL, I JUST MIGHT PUT THESE DISHES IN HERE WHILE I'M...
THE LASAGNA'S IN THE DISHWASHER, AND IT'S COOKING.
FISH, HOT DOGS, LASAGNA --
I'M TELLING YOU, I DO IT ALL THE TIME.
HEY.
HOW YOU DOING?
Patrick: HAVING PEOPLE OVER -- I'M NOT VERY EXCITED.
I DON'T WANT TO BE EMBARRASSED.
ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!
Adrian: COME ON!
HEY!
THIS IS THE SECOND TIME YOU DID THAT!
Patrick: I GOT TO SAVE MONEY FOR THE ELECTRICITY.
I'M SORRY. I HAVE TO.
I HAVE TO TURN IT OFF WHEN IT'S A COMMERCIAL.
I'M SORRY.
NO, WE AIN'T HAVING THIS. NOT HAVING THIS AT ALL.
STEPHANIE'S VERY CHEAP --
THE CHEAPEST PERSON I'VE SEEN IN A LONG TIME.
I'LL TELL YOU THAT MUCH.
COME ON.
I THOUGHT THE WALKING AROUND WITH THE CANDLE
IS REALLY INSANE.
I THINK WE CAN USE A LIGHT.
OH.
MAIN COURSE.
YOU WANT SOME?
YEAH, IT'S GOOD, RIGHT?
Patrick: TO BE COOKED IN A DISHWASHER?
NASTY.
I THOUGHT IT WAS VERY EMBARRASSING,
VERY, LIKE, UGH.
PEOPLE WERE LIKE, "WHAT THE HECK?
SHE'S PRETTY CHEAP."
I GET THE UTMOST SATISFACTION BEING THE CHEAPSKATE THAT I AM.
IT'S FOR ME AND MY FAMILY -- NOT ANYBODY ELSE.
I DON'T CARE WHAT NOBODY SAYS.
IT WAS THE STEPHANIE WAY,
AND THE STEPHANIE WAY'S THE BETTER WAY.
Larry: I LIVE IN MY SHOP.
I BATHE IN MY SHOP. I SLEEP IN MY SHOP.
Mitchell: I'VE ACCIDENTALLY WALKED IN ON LARRY TAKING A SHOWER.
THAT IS A PICTURE I WILL NEVER GET OUT OF MY HEAD.
[ CLOCK TICKING ]
[ ALARM RINGS ]
Larry: [ SIGHS ]
[ GROANS ]
OH!
MY NAME IS LARRY MELVIN. I LIVE IN McKINNEY, TEXAS.
I'M AN AUTO-MECHANIC. I WORK ON SPECIALTY CARS.
I SAVE MYSELF ABOUT $15,000 TO $20,000 A YEAR
JUST BY LIVING HERE IN MY OWN SHOP.
SOME PEOPLE WOULD CALL ME AN ECCENTRIC,
BUT THEY'RE BROKE, AND I'M SAVING MY MONEY.
I DON'T HAVE A CONVENTIONAL BATHROOM,
SO THIS IS A DUAL-PURPOSE SINK AND SHOWER.
LARRY DOES EVERYTHING IN THE GARAGE.
HE COOKS IN THE GARAGE. HE LIVES IN THE GARAGE.
HE BATHES IN THE GARAGE.
I THINK IT'S REALLY UNUSUAL.
Larry: I HAVE THIS BASIN THAT I STEP INTO.
I HOOK THE WATER HOSE UP TO THE FAUCET.
I CONSERVE ALL OF THIS WATER,
AND I USE IT OVER THE COURSE OF THE DAY
FOR VARIOUS THINGS -- MOPPING.
IT'S ANYWHERE FROM $20 TO $40 A MONTH ON MY WATER BILL
THAT I SAVE.
OKAY, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GIVE ME A FEW SECONDS.
THE REST OF IT'S NOT FOR YOU.
Mitchell: I'VE ACCIDENTALLY WALKED IN ON LARRY TAKING A SHOWER.
THAT IS A PICTURE I WILL NEVER GET OUT OF MY HEAD,
SO I'M STILL WORKING ON THAT.
Larry: I MAKE BETTER THAN 100 GRAND A YEAR,
SO I CAN SAVE A SUBSTANTIAL AMOUNT OF MONEY
JUST BY LIVING HERE IN MY OWN SHOP.
THIS IS A TEMPORARY CLOSET.
SOMETIMES, A CUSTOMER'S CAR HAS TO STAY HERE
FOR AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME.
THEY DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO PAY FOR IT,
OR IT NEEDS A LOT MORE WORK THAN THEY CAN AFFORD TO DO,
OR I JUST BUY IT,
AND IF I HAVE ONE THAT STAYS HERE
FOR A LONG, EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME,
I JUST KIND OF MAKE IT MY BEDROOM.
I HAVE A REMOVABLE ROD HERE. I CAN PUT MY CLOTHES IN HERE.
I CAN SLEEP IN THE FRONT.
IT'S A HOME AWAY FROM HOME.
HE DOES VERY UNCONVENTIONAL THINGS TO STRETCH EVEN A PENNY.
PEOPLE STRETCH A DOLLAR. HE STRETCHES A PENNY.
Larry: I'M ABLE TO LIVE IN MY GARAGE
BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF ANYBODY BUT ME.
MY KIDS ARE ALL GROWN, SO I JUST LIVE IN MY OWN SHOP
AND LIVE IN MY OWN LITTLE WORLD, COME AND GO AS I PLEASE.
I HAVE ELECTRICITY IN THE SHOP,
BUT I TRY NOT TO USE IT IF I DON'T HAVE TO.
I HAVE CAR BATTERIES SITTING EVERYWHERE.
I CAN SAVE $20, $40, $50 A MONTH
JUST BY RUNNING OFF THE CAR BATTERIES.
AND THE LIGHTS STAY ON FOR ALMOST NOTHING.
Narrator: BECAUSE OF HIS MONEY-SAVING METHODS,
LARRY IS ABLE TO REDUCE HIS LIVING COSTS BY UP TO 25%,
AND HE'S ALSO FOUND A WAY
TO KEEP HIS BUSINESS EXPENSES UNUSUALLY LOW.
I WANT TO BE KNOWN AS THE CHEAPEST MECHANIC IN TOWN
BUT YET THE BEST MECHANIC IN TOWN.
PUT A COUPLE OF THESE ON YOUR HANDS.
ALL RIGHT.
THE WATER THAT I TAKE MY SHOWER IN ALREADY HAS SOAP IN IT,
SO IT CLEANS THIS CAR JUST AS GOOD.
LARRY MAKING ME USE BATHWATER TO WASH CARS
HAS BEEN THE CLOSEST THING TO ME QUITTING.
[ CHUCKLES ]
Larry: I CONSERVE ALL OF MY WATER,
WHETHER IT'S WASHING CARS, MOPPING THE FLOORS,
OR WASHING, YOU KNOW, WHATEVER I HAVE TO WASH AROUND THE SHOP.
HEY, LOOK HOW CLEAN THIS CAR IS.
LARRY'S CHEAPNESS SOMETIMES SURPRISES ME
WHEN IT'S JUST SO OUT THERE,
THAT I'M LIKE, "WHY ARE WE DOING THIS?"
I'M ABOUT TO CLEAN THE WINDOWS.
FEMININE PADS.
YOU JUST RIP THEM OPEN.
ONE SIDE'S STICKY.
IT STICKS TO YOUR HAND.
MM-HMM.
TAKE A CAN OF COLA.
[ CAN OPENS ]
PUT JUST A LITTLE BIT ON THE...
[ CHUCKLES ]
...JUST A LITTLE BIT ON THE PAD.
OKAY.
I'M GONNA LET YOU DO THIS.
NO, THANK YOU, LARRY.
NO, THANKS.
NO, IT'S ALL YOU.
I DRAW THE LINE AT FEMININE PADS AND COLA.
I WILL NOT DO THAT. NEVER, EVER. YEAH, NEVER.
A BOX OF FEMININE PADS ARE ABOUT $1 AT THE DOLLAR STORE,
AND A CHEAP SIX-PACK OF COLA IS ABOUT $1.
THAT'S 2 BUCKS VERSUS $25 WORTH OF WINDOW CLEANER.
THE CITRIC ACID IN THE COLA
CUTS ANY OF THE GRIME OFF OF THE WINDOWS,
AND MAKES IT HAVE A --
WHEN IT DRIES, IT HAS A VERY GOOD SHINE,
AND IT LOOKS LIKE BRAND-NEW GLASS WHEN I GET THROUGH.
AND THE CUSTOMER IS HAPPY WITH THE FINISHED PRODUCT.
Laura: LARRY WILL ALWAYS TRY TO SAVE MONEY
IF HE FIXES SOMEONE'S CAR --
NOT AT THE EXPENSE OF THE CUSTOMER,
BUT HE WILL DO HIS DARNDEST
TO SAVE A PENNY HERE, A PENNY THERE.
Narrator: BUT LARRY HASN'T ALWAYS BEEN SO FINANCIALLY CONSERVATIVE.
IT WASN'T UNTIL HIS DIVORCE THREE YEARS AGO
THAT HE DECIDED TO MOVE IN TO HIS GARAGE.
Larry: I'VE BEEN MARRIED A COUPLE OF TIMES,
AND I REALIZED HOW MUCH MONEY I HAD SPENT
BUYING LOTS OF CLOTHES AND JEWELRY AND CARS
AND BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH,
AND I JUST DECIDED THAT I'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING
THAT I'VE MADE OUT OF THE SWEAT OF MY BROW
TO SOMEBODY ELSE,
AND I'M JUST NOT GONNA DO IT ANYMORE.
Narrator: WHILE LARRY HAS ADJUSTED TO A SIMPLER SINGLE LIFE,
HE HASN'T RULED OUT THE PROSPECT OF DATING ALL TOGETHER.
Larry: MY FRIEND LAURA SET ME UP WITH THIS BLIND DATE.
I MAY BE CHEAP, BUT I KNOW HOW TO BE ROMANTIC,
AND I'M GONNA MAKE THIS A VERY SPECIAL DATE HERE IN MY SHOP.
I MUST SAY, I HAVEN'T EVER USED ONE OF THESE
AT THE DINNER TABLE.
NOW YOU CAN'T SAY THAT ANYMORE.
[ CHUCKLES ]
Narrator: DESPITE MAKING $100,000 ANNUALLY,
AUTO-MECHANIC LARRY MELVIN HAS LIVED IN HIS GARAGE
SINCE HIS DIVORCE THREE YEARS AGO.
THE 57-YEAR-OLD BACHELOR IS OPEN TO THE IDEA OF DATING
AS LONG AS IT DOESN'T COST HIM A DIME.
Larry: MY FRIEND LAURA SET ME UP WITH THIS BLIND DATE.
I MAY BE CHEAP, BUT I KNOW HOW TO BE ROMANTIC,
AND I'M GONNA MAKE THIS A VERY SPECIAL DATE HERE IN MY SHOP.
PLATES AND UTENSILS COST MONEY.
STYROFOAM PLATES CAN BE WASHED, USED AGAIN,
SO THERE'S NO NEED IN GOING OUT AND SPENDING THE MONEY.
I DON'T GO OUT AND SPEND $50 AND $60 FOR A MEAL.
I'D RATHER COOK SOMETHING AT HOME
AND HAVE AN INTIMATE DINNER AT MY HOME.
I DO NOT HAVE A KITCHEN.
I COOK ALL OF MY MEALS ON A PORTABLE GRILL.
LARRY SABOTAGES FIRST DATES
BY NEVER TAKING HIS DATE TO A NICE RESTAURANT.
GOT SOME GOURMET FOOD.
GOT OUT ONE OF MY BEST WORK SHIRTS.
IT'S ONLY GOT ONE BURN HOLE IN IT.
I'M READY AS I'LL EVER BE.
HI, GRETA.
WELL, HI.
I'M LARRY.
THIS IS MY AUTO-REPAIR SHOP.
SO, WE'RE GONNA HAVE DINNER HERE TONIGHT, IN HERE?
YES.
Greta: I DRESSED UP,
THINKING THAT WE WERE GONNA GO OUT FOR DINNER.
I REALLY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK.
I'D JUST LIKE TO GET THE CANDLES LIT,
GET THE MOOD SET.
OH, MY GOODNESS.
Larry: I WENT AHEAD AND MADE MY OWN HOMEMADE CANDLES
WITH USED MOTOR OIL AND STEEL WOOL FOR WICKS.
SEE?
SO, HERE'S OUR FOOD.
WHAT ARE YOU SERVING THAT ON? IS THAT A WHEEL COVER?
OR A HUBCAP?
THAT'S A HUBCAP.
OKAY.
DO YOU NEED TO GO GET A KNIFE OUT OF THE KITCHEN?
THERE IS NO KITCHEN.
THIS IS A REAL KNIFE.
YEAH.
I'M GONNA USE THE OTHER END. IT'S BETTER FOR PICKING UP.
OH, MY. [ CHUCKLES ]
Greta: THE MOST SHOCKING THING AT THE DINNER TABLE TONIGHT
WAS HIS UTILITY-TOOL STAINLESS-STEEL CONTRAPTION.
DO YOU CLEAN IT?
IT'S AS CLEAN AS A WHISTLE.
I WAS TRYING TO BE NICE AND USE IT,
BUT IT WAS JUST DISGUSTING.
I MUST SAY, I HAVEN'T EVER USED ONE OF THESE
AT THE DINNER TABLE.
NOW YOU CAN'T SAY THAT ANYMORE.
[ CHUCKLES ]
Larry: I DON'T HAVE ANY PROBLEM
USING MY UTILITY KNIFE TO EAT WITH.
IT'S KIND OF LIKE LEARNING HOW TO USE CHOPSTICKS,
BUT I CAN USE IT TO EAT WITH.
SO, YOU HAVE NO BEDROOM?
NO. NOT RIGHT NOW.
SOMETIMES, THERE'S A CAR
THAT I HAVE TO KEEP FOR AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME,
AND I USUALLY JUST MAKE A BED IN IT.
SLEEPING AT NO COST.
NOT THAT I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY.
IT'S JUST THAT I DON'T LIKE TO SPEND ANY MONEY.
HONEY, YOU'RE SURE NOT LIKE ANYBODY I'VE EVER MET.
YOU'RE VERY UNIQUE.
I'VE ONLY BEEN ON A FEW BLIND DATES,
BUT I HAVEN'T EVER BEEN ON ONE QUITE LIKE THIS.
WELL, I ENJOYED YOU COMING OUT, SEEING MY PLACE,
AND I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU AGAIN SOMETIME.
OKAY, WELL, WE'LL SEE.
THANK YOU.
HE WAS REALLY A SWEETHEART,
BUT IT WAS KIND OF DISAPPOINTING A LITTLE BIT.
KIND OF A SHOCKER, THE WAY HE LIVES.
GOOD NIGHT. HAVE A GOOD EVENING.
[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]
I WOULD RANK THIS BLIND DATE TONIGHT,
ON A SCALE FROM 1 TO 10...
A 2.
Larry: I'LL NEVER CHANGE MY CHEAPSKATE WAYS.
BYE.
THAT'S WHO I AM, AND THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONNA BE,
AND YOU JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM.
THAT'S PROBABLY WHY I DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND OR A WIFE.
I'D JUST RATHER SAVE MY MONEY THAN SPEND IT.