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A: What do you think? S: Isn't this all a bit fast?
A: Babe, we're only looking. Now are you going to talk to her or am I? S: Well, you're better at that sort of thing.
A: Why is it always me?
Z: Oh, that's so sweet. Look at him! I just want to squish him!
T: You know, mum, you're holding him, so you can just look at him whenever you want. Z: Yes, alright. Just carry on.
No! Definitely not. Delete delete delete.
T: You know if Syed and Amira move out, can I have their old bedroom?
Z: What? What did you just say?
T: On second thought,
if Syed and Amira move out, please can I stay in my old tiny, overcrowded, cramped bedroom, please.
Z: Listen young man. Syed and Amira are not going anywhere, you understand?
She thinks five thousand pounds is going to get her some kind of palace?
I tell you what, she comes face to face with the grim reality that is today's rental market,
I tell you, she will have a big reconsider, you mark my words.
Ah, that's a nice one. That's the one. Okay, you print that off, and then you send that to Bushra.
A: Christian! We're just about to go look at a flat. Don't suppose you could come and help us decide?
C: Sorry darling, got to be somewhere. A: Oh, don't be so extra. It'll only take five minutes. Tell him, Syed.
S: If he's busy...
A: Look, I don't trust my own judgement, and I certainly don't trust Syed's. Oh please, I really need a third opinion.
C: Go on, then. If it's only going to take five minutes. A: Great! Love you!
S: Hey. C: Hey. A: Exciting, isn't it?
A: Bit of paint... maybe some wallpaper on that wall... decent lighting... I think it's just going to be great.
S: Well, you wouldn't have said that a year ago. A: A year ago, I wasn't living with your mum.
C: Something smells really sketchy in that air income. S: That would be the dead body.
A: Why are you being so negative? C: Maybe he's not that keen on having me as a neighbor.
A: That's a point! We could be in and out of each other's places borrowing cups of sugar all day long! It'll be fun!
S: We could do better than this. A: At double the rent, maybe. Oh, Christian, tell me you like it!
C: Well, I suppose it's got potential... A: That's all I need to hear! Thank you. Job done. C: See you.
A: See? S: I still think we're rushing into this.
A: Babe, Mrs. Patel has another couple coming later this morning. S: Why are you so determined?
A: I don't know... I've just got a feeling.
S: Well so how are your DIY skills? A: My job is interior design, yours is to carry out instructions.
S: Well, what makes you think I'm any better than you? A: Because you're a man, and men know.
I'm going to go talk to Mrs. Patel. S: Look, Amira, let's just wait. A: Babe, it'll be gone by this afternoon!
S: So who's going to tell Mum? A: Mrs. Patel is one thing, your mum is another.
S: Hi Mum. Z: Why aren't you at the Unit?
S: I've got some news... Z: Oh, yeah?
S: We've found a flat.
Z: That's great. Just what you wanted. Where is it?
S: Well, you know the sari shop on Turpin road? Z: Yes, I know.
S: Well there's a flat above it.
Z: Wow. You didn't waste any time, did you. S: Well it needs furnishing, decorating....
Z: Well, that's where all that money will come in handy then, isn't it?
S: You might want to come 'round and look at it later. Z: Yes, no doubt, yes. But maybe some other time.
I've got to look after him, I've got a hundred and one other things to get done, so... some other day, yeah?
S: Uhm.. I'll see you later, then.
A: I don't understand, if she's being nice about it... S: When she's being nice, it means she's pretending.
A: Better than shouting, I suppose. S: Well pretending's what happens before the shouting.
Only I can guarantee the shouting's going to be twice as bad as if she hadn't been pretending in the first place. Trust me.
A: That's for you. I got a spare cut as well.
S: I'm beginning to worry about all this. The work, painting, wallpapering...
A: I can't believe you're as half as bad as you're trying to make out. You just don't want to do the work, do you?
S: I'm actually twice as bad as I'm trying to make out, but you're right: I don't want to do the work.
A: Okay. So who's going to go back to Mrs. Patel and ask for our deposit back? Because I'm certainly not.
[phone ringing]
S: It's Dad. Hi-ya Dad.
Oh, so she's told you, then.
Okay, see you.
They're coming 'round to see it later.
A: No getting out of that one, then. S: She's going to pick holes in everything. It's going to be a nightmare.
A: Not necessarily. S: Why, what do you mean?
A: I'll see you there at half five. S: Alright.
C: I would have never gone for it. Z: Sorry, what?
C: Well I'm assuming that's a flat warming present. Z: Why, what do you know about it?
C: Alright, keep your wig on. Amira asked me for a third opinion, so I gave it.
Z: Really? What did you say?
Well you would think that, wouldn't you?
But I know for a fact that Syed and Amira are going to be very happy in that place,
so your opinion clearly doesn't count for much. How much is this, please? I: Five quid. Z: Seriously?
S: You've just got to use your imagination. It'll look completely different when it's decorated.
M: What's this? S: It's nothing that can't be fixed.
Z: Syed, this is like my nightmare is having a nightmare. S: A month or two you won't recognize it.
M: Yeah, if you were a student, and if this was only temporary... Z: Oh my God, is that damp that I can smell?
M: You know, I was reminding your mum of the first flat that we moved into. Z: It wasn't half as bad as this one is.
S: Oh, just give it a chance, mum. M: You know, I must say that I'm surprised with Amira.
Z: Where is she? S: I don't know, she said half five, maybe she's got held up at the salon.
Z: Hiding her face, no doubt. M: You're well within your rights to pull out.
S: We've paid the deposit, Dad. M: Alright.
What's this?
It's mouse poo! Z: Okay, no no no, that does it. You are moving into this place over my dead body.
S: I'll sort it, Mum! Z: No you won't, Syed! You always say that, but you know, this is you all over!
Jumping in without giving anything a thought. No, this is not going to happen.
A: Hey, okay, Mum, Dad, I know you're worried about the decorating, so am I.
Which is why I've called in some professional help.
C: Well, actually, that ain't strictly true, is it? Well, not professional.
But I did once do this whole house up for a dancing mate of mine, and well, he was more than happy with the results.
A: As soon as Christian told me that, I asked him on the spot. C: I'll make a start on the bedroom, shall I?