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I don�t like sports where it�s, just...one guy, you know? Unless that guy�s Bret �The
Hitman� Hart. In which case...I really like wrestling. Golf, not so much. I mean, you
watch these guys hit things, other than people...without steel chairs...
By the way, am I the only one that�s surprised they�re still naming games after Tiger Woods?
He�s, like, the ultimate heel, isn�t he? I mean, I guess he makes money, right? He
is the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be, and the other
golfers know it. And so do their wives.
Nonetheless, this is one variation, of a game called Tiger Woods PGA Tour 14. The other
one involves late-night text messages and empty promises of affection. That�s a game
rated M, for Mature. And moms, because moms tend to be the target audience. And hey, good
for Tiger Woods. I wish moms were my target audience.
Speaking of sex...look, it�s Tiger Woods.
Look, I don�t want you to get the wrong idea. This is another really good Tiger game,
but...these kind of annual sports games are tricky to review. Because they�re generally
built around the same core gameplay every year. Only...this one has new options or modes
or something. You end up reviewing features instead of gameplay.
Because, otherwise...hey, it�s that stupid stick control, from last year.
I guess we�ll start there. Tiger 14 brings back Shot Shaping, which is a dumb term for
a dumb control mechanic where you have to move the analog stick in perfect lines to
aim your shot. And it works, I guess, but...you know what I love? A video game that takes
a simple activity like hitting sh*t and turns it into stencil time. F*cking Spirograph.
Fortunately, you can turn off Shot Shaping. But even then, I just found the gameplay incredibly
average. There�s just nothing here that�s...addictive, or exciting. I mean, it�s golf, I guess.
But if you have to make this one golf game a year, I�d think you�d have some kind
of creative new gameplay ideas, right?
I�m not asking for explosive balls here. No one wants explosive balls.
Now more than most sports franchises, Tiger seems to now be about...hey, here�s some
stock gameplay, but we�re gonna load it up with more stuff than you�ll ever have
any interest in actually using. Adjust your golfer�s jaw, unlock some shirts, do a career,
jump into a tournament, go online...look at all the features.
You can�t even count all those features.
I�ll tell you what, though. You can count all the times the game chugs, and takes forever
to load. Because that happens a lot. It�s like...you do this one golf game a year. Anyway,
the biggest hook is that there�s a Legends of the Masters mode, which has eight of the
sport�s legends. When you play as the golfers from a century ago, the game has this awesome
retro graphics filter. And that�s really cool.
That�s actually something creative, you know?
And you know, Tiger 14 steps up its game in other areas, too. The online modes are probably
at the top of the list. Lots of nice additions and tweaks, including in-game chat and real-time
tournaments, so you can see your opponents� shots as they happen. It�s all good stuff,
but...I mean, it�s just new icing on the same vanilla cake.
I guess that�s a problem with reviewing games in general. Fun is really a subjective
concept, and since video games are kind of predicated on having fun, that can leave someone
like me in a pickle. This wasn�t fun for me. I can�t lie to you. But if you like
slow, methodical, realistic golf games...I mean, who am I to argue?
Tiger 14 is a very good Tiger game, with lots of little tweaks.
Just like last year.