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Oye! with Lucia and Dalia
Episode 6: Looking for Friends
>> Lucia: Welcome to Oye! I am Lucia.
>> Dalia: I am Dalia.
>> Lucia: Today we are going to start with some questions that we posted on Facebook
on the topic of "friendship."
We asked Latina moms if they took the time to go out with friends
and if they did, what they did and what they talked about.
What was interesting to me were the responses.
The majority, I would say 95%, of the women said
that they either did not have any friends, many were alone...
>> Dalia: Just like us... >> Lucia: Just like us...
And many of them said that they would rather have no friends
than have friends that they needed to put on a show for.
Others said that they did not go out
because they were tired all the time and that it wasn't part of their routine.
And, then many of them said that they did not go out
because they could not find "friends."
And perhaps this is where the definition of "friends,"
the way you and I define it,
which in the Latin world is defined as a "comadre."
So that in a nutshell is today's topic.
And now I want to ask you why these moms, like us, don't think that they have many friends.
>> Dalia: I think that as Latinas...
and what I mean by that is in comparison to my American friends...
for us Latinas our life is our children.
And I know this is the case for you as well because I see the way you are.
Although you and I are best friends, my kids and my home come first.
They are the main focus of my life. >> Lucia: Yes.
>> Dalia: Well and also my job because we have to eat.
>> Lucia: Hey! You forgot to mention your husband.
>> Lucia: Please I don't think Aresky would be very happy with your answer.
>> Dalia: Well he is included with my kids. >> Lucia: with your kids??!
>> Dalia: Oh my God! He is my other kid. I have four! Anyway...
>> Lucia: My definition of "friend" also changes with age.
I have many friends, many "Anglo" friends
but my relationship with them is not the same as our relationship
or even our relationship with our friend Ileana.
So I was struck by the comments that so many Latinas said "I have no friends."
And perhaps it goes back to the definition of "friends."
Now, my situation is different from yours.
My family doesn't live here.
And, I know that I've told you many times that because my family is not here
and because they are so far away,
I find that my need to have a social aspect to my life
and to have friends like you here becomes even more important.
>> Dalia: You and I feel very comfortable with one another.
Sometimes we let one, two or more weeks go by without seeing each other or talking to one another.
>> Lucia: So let's make a promise. That at least...what, once a month?... >> Dalia: Once per month.
>> Lucia: We will get together. JUST US.
>> Dalia: Just us, without are husbands. >> Lucia: And we need to include them - our moms.
Well, let's drink. And with that, we finish this segment. I am Lucia.
>> Dalia: And I am Dalia.
>> Both: Until next time.
>> Lucia: Mmmmmm that's good!
>> Lucia: Ok so let's play a game. >> Dalia: OK. That's good. >> Lucia: We are going to do something really interesting.