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About a week and a half before the recording
I went into labor, I was about six months pregnant with our first little boy Max
I had him at the hospital and he was only 23+5 which is 23 weeks and 5 days old
so he was really little
but we had him and he was alive
he was in the neonatal ICU where they were taking care of him
we basically spent a full day with him
and we believed and we prayed that he would be ok
but we trusted that God was in control
and that night he died of just being too little basically
I was going to sing an album before any of this happened
I didn’t even think about the album until 3 or 4 days afterwards
but I just remember thinking when my name was on the roster and he was doing well
thinking, feeling like I have to do it and I actually remember sitting in the hospital
right after everything happened
and knowing that I needed to sing
that I needed to still do what I know I am supposed to be doing
and that I felt like that was a victory for us
right now it's just choosing to worship all the time, that's what it is for me
because I don't always feel like it
sometimes I don't feel like seeing thru God
but I know that my circumstance
this season doesn't change that God is still God
it doesn't change why God has called to be here
what he has called me to do
He is still on his throne in heaven
He still rules, and He is still bigger than everything that I'm facing
I was singing and I believed everything that I was singing
And I still don't really know why
a part of me was still so like… broken that I didn’t....
It wasn't like this huge rush of, you know, how it always felt when I worship,
like the presence of God just flattened me. It wasn't like that
and I remember singing and not feeling that
like how I always felt before
and I was going like … I know that you are here God
but I just, maybe it's because I am broken right now
the cut was so deep and it was so fresh
that I didn't feel it like I felt it before.
But I knew I just needed to keep singing and it was going to be ok
and I just kept singing so when we got to the album
I felt the presence of God back, like I knew him,
like I had known him before
For Jill and I to sing together on that night
was such a privilege for me
and aside from her being an amazing worship leader
and being anointed, and carrying the authority that she has
just as her friend, and as her sister in Christ I was so proud of her
and I was aware of the weight of her singing that
and just kind of feeling so, I mean, It was a real emotional moment
and her standing and glorifying God in the midst of her loss and her tragedy
the devil lost what he was trying to achieve
Even when you sing things that you know are true
but you might not necessarily fully understand
I think that just being able to look at God
and say things that are true of Him
and declare the word of God and declare the promises of God
which is that, when I'm in the fire and when I'm being refined
and when I'm in the battle and the triumph isn't here yet, but it's coming
I think you look at God and you say I know this is who you are
and He does get bigger in your life and
He takes over the things in you that feel so shattered, and it makes Him the focus
and He begins to put those things back together
This is my prayer in the desert
when all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger and need
My God is the God who provides
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
And this is my prayer in the battle
when triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand
I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
All of my life
in every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
All of my life
in every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
And this is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow