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For six years I waged war within myself
Your words cut through my skin Pain flowed faster than encouraging thoughts
So my mind was filled with negative wounds Your hate pierced my self-confidence
And left permanent scars on my future These blemishes created obstructions on my
thought pattern And made it difficult to find the happiness
I once knew The walls grew higher, the maze got longer,
And soon I could not even find the exit Stuck in my own mind with your words as my
only companion, With nowhere to hide I took refuge in the
very skin that absorbed the hatred Scared and desperate, I cried to myself.
Every time I inhaled and exhaled, I felt those scars
Constantly reminding me that I am alone and different
I could not escape them I screamed inside for a solution
And a path back to easier thoughts But the only response I got was your voice,
Stuck on an endless loop When I would go to sleep at night
My lullaby was my own tears singing to my cheeks
And it was always the same song: Why can't I change? How do I fix myself?
My dream was to be accepted as a person My nightmare was the morning, when I had to
face my reality No matter how many years go by, I remember
your words So I breathe deeper now, allowing my air to
mold those walls into passage ways, Searching for the peace of mind I once knew
Before you gave me a chance to be myself Being myself turned into fear and skepticism
I fought every day to continue breathing The same air you take for granted
I am now comfortable in my own skin, But it's much harder than it should be
My skin evolved to keep me safe within Who I became is different than who I should
have been I rebuilt the foundation of my being with
a guarded outlook and crossed fingers, but it will always remain
damaged; pieces are still missing.
Your words defined me for too long, so I took the meaning and transformed it into something
beautiful and pure, something I could call my own Now the definition of ME comes in the
form of my own feelings -- my own thoughts -- my. Own. Words.