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This week's Music Monday is the Inception edition with EatYourKimchi Crew's "Eatyourkimchi like a Man"
For those of you who don't know the EYK crew, they're a rookie group trying to break through into the Kpop world.
They're under the EYKNasty studio label and they've been aroundas a group since January 2013.
How this band made into the top3 of our Kpop Charts, though, is a major surprise to us.
And clear proof that fangroups abuse the kpop charts just to get their favorite groups reviewed rather than picking good songs and videos.
Because, really, without a doubt we can easily say that this is the worst song of 2013 so far.
Well, maybe the 2nd worst.
Ok, so for those of you that voted this in, we want to let you know this is not a personal attack on the EYK Crew
But more their sucky management team.
Seriously, I can't tell if this is supposed to be so low budget for humor's sake or if they just can't afford to make a better music Video.
This song sounded like it was made on Garage Band. I'm sorry, it does.
And the vocals are... Terrible.
Couldn't you've like autotuned that *** or is it just unsalvageable?
Also, we weren't really sure if this qualified as Kpop or not.
They've got only one Korean member in the group and they've also got a foreigner who speaks fluent Korean and they sing about Korean stuff
And use some Korean words, so I guess that kind of counts, right?
And one thing that does make me happy about this group and what makes a break in Kpop... Look at all them white people!
You see, we often get e-mails from people asking us how they, as non-Korean people can become Kpop idols
We really didn't know what to tell them before, but now we can point them towards this video and say
"You see, boys and girls, your dreams can come true. This is the kind of excellence that awaits you if you sign to the EYK Nasty Studios.
Now as amazingly catchy as this song is, we consider they're missing a lot of key points to make them a legitimate Kpop group in our hearts.
Their fashion sense is sooo not Kpop.
Where are all the accessories? There are no fuzzy hats on just one member or mass amounts of necklaces
Where are the buttons pinned randomly all over their outfits spouting out sassy English phrases.
No brightly colored leggings, no wet-shields disguised as sneakers?
Where are the hats accidentally telling me to go *** myself?
Whoa, serious Kpop fashion fail.
Also, they need more sexiness.
You know they, they really got none.
The lead singer could definitely hit the gym a bit. And he doesn't really rub his lips nearly enough!
How? How are his fans supposed to know that he's aroused?
Although he does a fair bit of raunchy thrusting in the video, that's not enough.
The girls in the group also they... They don't have their mouths hanging open enough.
They're not seducing the camera.
Where are all the close-ups of their faces as they do things awkwardly with their hands.
Like reach up at stuff that doesn't exist and make little fisties like babies.
Where are the looks of pain from being so deeply aroused at the moment?
In fact they all look like they barely know what they do on camera. Let alone how to seduce anyone while they're at it.
It kind of bend the rules with Kpop videos a little bit though.
Usually we see a full Kpop boy band, six members or so, all dating or being in love with the same girl
Here, though, we see the lead singer of the band abusing with burps and hitting on different girls.
But... Wait a second. Are they really different girls?
Maybe I'm just incapable and can't tell people apart, but I'm pretty sure that is the same girl in a bunch of different wigs.
What kind of crappy budget did you have?
Also, I feel quite bad for SooZee, the only Korean member.
She has to humiliate herself in public where her friends and family might see her.
You could see clearly on her face how much she doesn't like this group.
It's like "wow... look what my university degree got me. Dancing on a bridge with a bag of kimchi"
I... I just feel so bad for her, you know. We were lucky enough to get an interview with SooZee to ask her how she felt about doing the video
And this is what we've got.
It goes on like this for half an hour.
Other the dance for this song was so-so.
The kimchi bags and chopsticks were kind of a cool addition and I haven't seen that before in a Kpop Music Video
But as dancers they looked a little bit off.
They were kind of in sync with each other but it seriously looked like they just learned the dance 5 minutes before they filmed.
Oh, what's that? uh... Ok.
I'm being informed that they actually Did practice together 5 minutes beforehand.
Well, that explains a lot.
As for the English of the song I'm gonna give this a...
2 out of 5
I'm happy that the majority pf the song is in English, but the rhyming is So weak!
They rhyme diarrhea with kimchiah and sexyah?
Uh is not a rhyme. That's weak!
Also the pronunciation is really off.
Like A Man should sound like "Like A Man" not "Like a maeyon"
Meayon is the Korean word for spicy, so to me this sound like "like a spicy"
And that's just bizarre.
And that whole gochujang won't hurt you mang is also bizarre.
Who says Mang anymore? And it's pronounced "gochujeong" not "gochujaeng".
I don't know. I'm confused and uncomfortable. So 2 out of 5.
For this week's showdown we ask you which low-budget video you preferred:
EYK Crew's "Eatyourkimchi Like a Man" or JYJ's "Ayyy girl"?
Both delightfully low-budget, although one had a CGI budget that kind of ran out mid-filming
And had super good looking people in it who are awesome dancers and can pull off sexy apron shirts while the other video has... JYJ
Leave your unserious votes in your nasty comments and we'll announce the winners next week.
Lastly, this wasn't our real KMM. We're editing it right now and it'll go up later tonight.
Don't miss it. Make sure you subscribe so you could see it when it comes out.
Also, we did a video with Myish over the weekend. we're talking about our top 7 favorite Kpop covers of English songs
Let's just say, if that video had a milkshake, it would bring all the boys to the yard.
Make sure you click here to check it out.
Take it awaaaay... Dumpster doggy Spudgy.
I'm a tiutiutiutiuriu I'm a SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE VIDEOS tiutiutiutiuriu I'm a tiutiutiutiu I'm a tiutiutiutiuriu I'm a CHECK THE PARODY FROM LAST WEEK
tiutiutiutiuriu Spudgy tiutiutiutiu EatYourKimchi tiutiutiutiuriu SUBSCRIBE and watch the video also.
Spudgy, that rhyming Sucked!
YOU SUCK!
How do I suck? I give you food.
I'm sorry, mum, I luv you.