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When people say time heals all wounds, it's not true.
You might be able to stuff it for a while, but
it doesn't go away.
It's just in there festering.
It's like shaking up a pop bottle.
Eventually, the top's going to blow off.
Someone from the outside can look at my life and think,
wow, she's got it all together.
But, I was really dead inside.
And I think that's how I learned to wear the mask.
I grew up in the country in Wisconsin, where I was around
all things motorized all the time.
And I guess, when things are pretty crazy, I could go out
on my motorcycle.
I could sing.
I could laugh.
I could cry.
And my motorcycle didn't care.
It was just feeling in control of something when everything
else felt out of control.
Back then, things were pretty crazy.
I just always felt like I wasn't planned,
that I was a mistake.
I thought it was my fault that my parents were fighting.
I thought it was my fault that my dad was drinking, because I
guess I was just someone or something that they had to
deal with, because they were so young.
But I hid all of this because I didn't want to bother them.
So, I stuffed a lot of feelings.
I shut my needs off.
I didn't know how to ask for help.
I didn't always know what I needed.
I discovered that if I drank alcohol, I became more fun.
I felt at the time like it helped me not be so shy.
I can be this other person that I felt like
I really was inside.
But I didn't understand that I can just be that person
without adding alcohol.
And so it was kind of just a quiet thing that I did.
That, of course, got worse, became something I
did more and more.
Still being a pom pom girl, a basketball player, getting
good grades in school, and really hiding my pain, I was
very, very good at wearing masks.
I started living a completely double life at a
really young age.
By the age of 16, I got pregnant.
And not understanding what abortion means or what that
truly is, I ended that pregnancy without ever telling
my mom about it.
I went that day and made that decision.
I saw the baby, which I don't think you're supposed to do,
and I started crying.
And when the doctor came back in, he asked me if I was
crying because I was in pain or crying because
I was a woman now.
I didn't know what to say to that.
None of it made any sense to me.
It was just hidden and tucked away.
What I didn't understand is you don't just tuck something
like that away.
Ultimately, as I got older, I realized that that decision
was at the core of a lot of guilt, and shame, and low
self-worth that I've dealt with most of my life.
So, I continued on through high school never feeling good
enough, never quite pretty enough, never smart enough,
because nothing I did would seem to change my situation.
By the time I got into college, I was
introduced to drugs.
From one drug to the next drug, to relationships,
anything I would grab on to would just feel
better about myself.
It just was never enough.
As I got older and once I became a mom, it became harder
and harder to do the double life.
Hiding it from the girls, I always disguised as you can go
stay with grandma this weekend.
And that will give me the opportunity to start on
Friday, and I'll drink until Sunday night.
Suddenly, my kids would see me drunk once in a while.
I was starting to lose control over
keeping them really separate.
I started realizing, I really wasn't hiding
anything from anyone.
I might not be able to keep this up any longer.
I might have to stop and face it.
About that time, I had met my husband now, Brian.
And Brian actually invited me to his church.
He was going kind of on and off.
He said he always felt better after he went.
But he invited me and I thought, well, yeah, I'll go.
I mean I hadn't had the best experiences finding a church
or learning anything about God or any of that.
And I went to church with him that day.
And I sat there in tears that day.
I'll never forget the sermon.
The sermon was--
certain parts of it spoke to me, and he said, it spoke
about a heavenly Father that cares about you and loves you
no matter what you've done or where you been.
And that is about forgiveness.
And all we have to do is accept that love.
What a concept.
He could love me.
There's a reason - There's a reason for all this.
That's when I truly surrendered my life to God.
And I just said, I give up.
I surrender.
That was truly--
I like to say that the sky opened up and light came down
and all of that.
But I did feel a sense of peace right away, like you
know what, I'm not in control of it.
I haven't been in control of it all along.
And I'm learning about this God of ours,
that He is in control.
I don't have to carry all this on my shoulders.
I don't have to worry about my dad's life and my mom's life
and my kids' lives.
I mean God's in control of it.
I learned right away that there is a plan for my life.
There is a purpose for me.
That I was planned.
I wasn't a mistake.
And that God intended to show me that.
I can't even describe the relief.
It was just like the weight of the world being
lifted off my shoulders.
Right about that time, we got a chance to do a bike for
Discovery Channel Biker Build-Off.
And put a crazy fast motor in the bike and decided as a
marketing move, that maybe we should go race it.
And it would be a good idea to put a woman on the bike.
And I felt like this was a door that opens.
So I took the chance, having never been a racer before but
having ridden motorcycles most of my life.
The first time I was on the starting line of the
Bonneville Salt Flats, I sat there for a moment.
And I prayed because I was learning how to pray.
And I just said, okay God, this is where You have me today.
Let me do Your will.
I thought for a minute about all the roads that I've been
on and all the crazy, twisted, windy paths that have gotten
me to this point today.
But here I was.
And I was doing something that no one had ever done before.
And no one had raced this kind of bike before.
And here were my daughters with me watching me do this.
And it was a good thing.
It was a positive thing.
It was a healthy thing.
There was no party, no drinking.
None of that stuff was involved.
This was something new.
And this was something we had never done before.
And I had this awesome opportunity.
And so, I just turned it over to God and took off.
Laura completed her first race
by setting a new land speed record.
Laura and her daughters Erika and Karlee are the first mother- daughter trio in history to hold land speed records at the same time.
I don't have to have all the strength.
I can lean on God when I feel like I'm facing something that
I just can't do.
I don't have to do it on my own.
I'm never alone.
I don't have to feel alone anymore.
He's always there.
I'm Laura Klock and I am Second.