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Hello there, (1) Ming The Merciless here with Overseas Contractor Academy and today we�re
going to be talking about something I obviously know not a damn thing about� food. As I
obviously know nothing about overeating, I found this script extremely difficult to write.
I mean, why not a talk about sitting around watching UFC or riding a motorcycle or doing
calculus in my sleep? No-no, lets torture the obviously anorexic host with videos about
food. Fine, dammit, fine� let�s do this ***�
*run bumper* Ok, so, eating� like (2) watching ***,
food is something you probably do 3 times a day least�. unless you�ve learned how
to photosynthesize. So, when you get that first overseas job, it may occur to you to
ask the question what and where will you eat? So glad ya asked that question, (3) such a
convenient segway, thanks for moving the video forward, ya hungry ***. The answer is�
(4) as it often is� it depends. If you�re living and working on a base,
you�ll eat 90% of your meals from a contractor run dining facility. You�ve undoubtedly
seen (5) military food lines from old pics or movies and it looks worse than prison food.
Let me tell you, today�s dining facilities look abso-***-lutely nothing like that.
They�re (6) big, bright, (7) have 3 or 4 choices of different types of food, (8) huge
salad bars� even several flavors of ice cream, etc. I mean, if I weren�t so careful
about my (9) gaunt and fragile figure, I could accidently gain a little weight cuz the food
is so good. For breakfast there are omelets to order, bacon sausage, hash browns, breakfast
burritos, pancakes, waffles� you name it, they got it. And for lunch & dinner there�s
always a fast food line, which is burgers, fries, nuggets, wings, that kind of thing-
or there�s a choice of actual meals. And I don�t mean crap meals, I mean Italian,
Mexican, Indian� all kinds of dishes. And then there�s always the salad bar if you�re
trying to be healthy and stay thin like me. And even a (10) sub and hot sandwich line
with bags of chips if ya feel like havin that. Now� here�s kicker� the cost. It�s
fookin free {add words to screen} man! That�s right, if you live and work on base, you�ll
eat like that every *** day for frickin free. (11 loop) Drop the mic & walk away,
son. Winning. Ok, so what if you don�t live on base? Well
then, you�ll likely be eating out for at least one of your meals per day. Yes, (12)
most places will have fast food around� unfortunately we have exported that *** all
around big sandbox and it�s terrible. Unless any (13) fast food business ever decides they
want to sponsor this channel, in which case them *** are delicious. Anyway, the one
thing that is always present and nearly always good to eat (14) are the big meat stacks on
a spindle, shaved off and with some veggies & garlic sauce in a pita wrap. Depending on
the part of the world, and the origin of the owner of that establishment, this will either
be called Shawarma, Donner or Kebab. Whatever (15) ya want to call it, that *** is the
ham sandwich of the middle east� except delicious-er. Wait, ham is pork, bad reference.
You get the idea though. Shawarma is the go-to food for tired or lazy people that just want
something quick and easy. [Clip] One with fries only runs a few dollars and totally
hits the spot. There�s lots of decent salads of varying types as well, which I did partake
in, but never to the exclusion of the shawarma and fries. A man�s gotta have priorities.
So, there ya have it. Like it says in Psalms, a man�s gotta eat. And when the lord saw
this, he made certain animals (16) taste scrumptious when they�re properly prepared and exposed
to open flame. When you get an overseas job, you�ll find no shortage of tasty roasted
animals. It�s all part of the divine plan. So don�t worry about food. There�s a lot
of really options. So roll up your sleeves and get your *** to the middle east� it�ll
set ya free� and fill you up at the same time� and fill your bank account. It�s
a sweet deal. Thanks for watching. Hey peeps, if you�ve always wanted (17)
to ride a majestic unicorn through a starlit sky full of rainbows, then here�s your chance.
Simply help spread the word about Overseas Contractor Academy by posting our videos out
on social media. Now, we do have a limited supply of live unicorns, so please limit yourself
to doing this one hundred times or less. Seriously, no one needs a hundred unicorns. A dozen enough.
Don�t be greedy. See ya next week�