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A rabbi?
You said "anything."
No, no. He'll do.
Ok, rabbi.
For what I'll do? What's going on here?
Rabbi, we'd like you to marry us.
Marry you? Please.
You're jewish?
Not necessarily.
You got a license?
Uh, no, we don't.
Please don't go now.
She just needs to hear the words
To make her feel better before the baby comes.
You know how it is.
Are you both serious about this?
'cause I don't have time for hijinks.
Real serious, rabbi. Really. Very serious.
Well, I could do it. It wouldn't be official.
It's all right. I just wanna hear the words, rabbi.
What the hell?
What are your names?
I'm martin, and this is lorna.
Martin and lorna,
Baruch a--
What am I doing?
How do the goyim do this?
Uh, uh...
"dearly beloved."
That's it.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here...
Dearly beloved,
Marriage is a spiritual union...
Oh, rabbi!
Faster. She's heading for the home stretch.
Between 2 people.
All right. Martin, will you take lorna to be your wife?
Will you honor, love, et cetera, et cetera,
Et cetera, until death do you part?
I will.
Lorna, will you take martin to be your husband,
To, et cetera, et cetera... The same thing.
Yes, I do.
All right. I pronounce you man and wife.
You may kiss the bride. You already did that.
Let's go.
No. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Hold it, hold it.
What--what is--
Let me have this glass.
I need this glass!
God damn it! What the hell are you doing?
Talk to the hand, ok? I'll be right back.
Ok, wait, wait.
You know how long it took me
To fill that *** thing?
All day!
Leo, this is... This is unsanitary.
What is this?
You gotta break this glass.
I'll get *** on my shoes.
You gotta do this!
Mazel tov! Mazel tov!
Hey! What the hell--
Come back here, you little son of a ***!
Pant, pant. Blow.