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>>GOOD MORNING CLASS.
MY NAME IS PROFESSOR WILCOX AND WELCOME TO PHOTO-BOMBING 101.
NOW A LITTLE BIT ABOUT MYSELF. I GRADUATED WITH A DOCTORATE OF PHOTO BOMBING
AT HARVARD. >>IS THAT A REAL DEGREE?
>>OH, OPPS, I MISSPOKE. ACTUALLY I PHOTO-BOMBED A GRADUATE RECEIVING
HIS DOCTORATE AT HARVARD.
OH. HOW'D THAT GET THERE?
NOW I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOUR CLASS T.A. MELVIN JONES.
MELVIN COMES FROM A LONG LINE OF PRESTIGIOUS PHOTO-BOMBERS.
>>YES, MY GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-GREAT GRANDFATHER WAS KNOWN AS ONE OF THE FIRST
PHOTO-BOMBERS. >>DID THEY EVEN HAVE PHOTOGRAPHS BACK THEN?
>>THEY DID NOT. HE WAS A PORTRAIT BOMBER.
HE HAD TO HOLD THAT POSE FOR 20-HOURS. >>NOW THAT'S DEDICATION.
NOW, FOR PROFESSIONAL PHOTO-BOMBERY IT'S IMPORTANT
TO REMEMBER MBF. MARRIAGE, BIRTH, AND FUNERALS.
WHO CAN TELL ME WHY THAT IS? >>BECAUSE PHOTO BOMBING THESE CAUSES THE MOST
ANNOYANCE TO THE PHOTOGRAPHER AND SUBJECT.
>>EXACTLY. ANYONE CAN PHOTO BOMB A FAMILY PHOTO,
BUT THE MBF'S ARE ONCE IN A LIFETIME, USUALLY.
WELL, NOT SO MUCH MARRIAGES THESE DAYS. YES.
>>HOW DO YOU PHOTO BOMB A BIRTH? DON'T THEY ONLY ALLOW IN IMMEDIATE FAMILY
AND MEDICAL PERSONNEL?
>>EXCELLENT QUESTION. MELVIN, WOULD YOU LIKE TO EXPLAIN?
>>I WOULD LOVE TO. THE KEY IS TO DISGUISE YOURSELF.
I HAVE IMPERSONATED, DOCTORS, NURSES, AND EVEN BABIES.
>>YOU PRETENDED TO BE A DOCTOR. ISN'T THAT DANGEROUS?
>>OH, EXTREMELY. YES.
I HAVE HAD TO DELIVER A SHOCKING NUMBER OF CHILDREN.
>>NOW FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DID THE READING I
ASSIGNED OVER THE BREAK, WHO CAN TELL ME HOW THE
DIGITAL CAMERA HAS AFFECTED THE PHOTO-BOMBER. AGAIN, YES.
>>WELL WITH FILM, PEOPLE DIDN'T KNOW THAT THEY'D BEEN PHOTO-BOMBED UNTIL IT WAS TOO
LATE, BUT NOW WITH DIGITAL CAMERAS, PEOPLE CAN VIEW
AND DELETE THEIR PHOTOS INSTANTLY.
>>YOU ARE THE HERMIONE GRANGER OF THE PHOTO-BOMB WORLD.
AND SHE'S ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. THAT'S WHY SUBTLETY IS A CRUCIAL SKILL TO
DEVELOP, BUT IF YOU'RE TOO SUBTLE, IT CAN BACKFIRE.
NOW WHO CAN TELL ME WHERE I AM ON THIS PHOTO? >>ARE YOU THE RANDOM GUY IN THE BACKGROUND?
>>NO, I AM THE TREE. THIS IS A GOOD EXAMPLE OF BEING OVERLY SUBTLE.
NOW SOME OF YOU SUFFER FROM A CONDITION KNOWN AS "LP".
LAME POSES. MELVIN HERE WILL TEACH YOU HOW TO COMBAT "LP".
>>FOR BEGINNERS, IT'S GOOD TO START WITH THE
BASICS SUCH AS THE SASQUATCH, THE NIXON, AND THE CHEERLEADER.
FOR THE MORE ADVANCED PRACTITIONERS WE HAVE THE CRAZED FLY FISHERMAN, WE ALSO HAVE THE
WITCH ON A BROOMSTICK, AND THE SPACEMAN. I HAD TO FALL FROM A THREE-STORY BUILDING
TO GET THAT EFFECT. >>NOW BEFORE WE CLOSE, I WOULD LIKE TO TEACH
YOU THE NUMBER ONE RULE OF PHOTO BOMBING. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS MAKE SURE THEY ARE
TAKING A PHOTO AND NOT A VIDEO.
SOME OF YOU MAY BE FEELING OVERWHELMED AT THIS POINT, BUT DON'T WORRY, WE'LL START OFF SMALL
WITH THE TRADITIONAL DISNEY LAND PHOTO BOMB. BUT BY THE END OF THE SEMESTER, EACH OF YOU
WILL BE PHOTO-BOMBING ULTRASOUNDS.