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Hey guys! what's going on? I'm here with Carolyn again
Doesn't she look gorgeous as always? -Thank you, I actually did something with
myself today And here I am with my face melted all shiny
Let me tell you girl, this rain jacked up my hair
So do you see this? Look at this. It looks like I have devil horns because I
am evil Im satan and I need an exorcism
- Oh my god Ijust watched a show about that kind of thing
Oh my god did you really? -Yeah about these kids these real life martyrs
and satanism was behind it and this little girl in france lived
So this was like a true life story? - Yes I love watching stuff like that
Girl i'm so sorry I smell like cookies because let me tell you what happened
You know that we both cant be trusted with our own fatty choices
so I got these gluten free cookies I only got two and I was like oh my god im
so hungry and im waiting for Carolyn to get ready and
i'm like oh my god! I cant take it! and then it just
fell right into my mouth It was aweful
- I hate when that happens Girl it attacked me
-Where did you find single cookies? Well, what had happened was me and my friend
had went to the grocery store and he was like "do you
want these" and i'm like yes, yes I do but I will not
stop eating them I can only have 1 so he says ok how about
you take 1 and I'll take the rest and i'm like ok that works
Thanks Jeff!! So I accidentally ate a cookie but I also
accidentally took 2 - Well that's better than eating the whole
pack It really is cuz you know I would have eaten
the whole thing in one sitting and then I'd have been like
oh my god lets go to dinner and then we'd have dessert and then gone to the store
-- the "W" store yes the martian store
--yeah so we went there today and we were assulted
by this old man -- Why do some old people can say what ever
they want? just because they've "been through the same
things" they think they know what you're going through
so he called me skinny. he's all like "you're pants are fallin off"
so we were like whatever. so we romped into the store
and we get into the electronic carts because my leg was bothering me and Carolyn's
leg was bothering her too So we were a parade of the electronic carts
and it was fabulous -- it was
we kept backing up and running into each other we were playing bumper cars in the store
-- that is what it felt like. i felt like I was at Geauga Lake
It was fun and then the... -- the gas? It was conveniently down the air
freshener aisle We were in the air freshener aisle because
I needed Gain Febreeze which I absolutely love
So we're transvestigating scents and I saw Shitrus Spray
and I bent over to go look at it and give it a whirl
to see what it smells like and I hear this -- rumble! this explosion!
This noise! from the depths of hell girl! and she takes off zooming down the aisle leaving
me behind and I am dying laughing and then I started gagging
and I was like Girl! There is a dead corpse in your ***!
and this woman she's coming down the aisle gives
Carolyn the dirtiest look and she looked at me and i was like
I didnt do it!!! It was that ***!! -- oh man! you threw me under the bus!!
I did! Im so sorry girl!! -- sometimes when you gotta fart like the
one time my nephew said cuz I was passing gas and his dad Jim was upstairs and my mom
turned cuz I farted and she was like CAROLYN! Andrew was really little and he was like 8
maybe and said Mommy sometimes people have to fart so that they feel better and I said
thank you andrew! Children are so wise because when you hold
in a fart it is the most uncomfortable feeling. You get crampy, bloated,
you feel like you're going to explode and then eventually
you get to the point where you can't trust that fart girl
when we were at wal-mart.. girl i thought you were
going to *** yourself -- You have to be careful and kind of test
fart it where you have to do a little bit and sometimes you can feel like uh-uh it's
going to be a shart! so thank god I didnt poop my pants. Not only did I have to ride
in an electronic cart but oy And if you guys have ever ridden in an electronic
cart People stare you down
-- they do we got looks left and right and so the funny
thing was there were people staring at us and Carolyn
was like "Oh my god it's like they've never seen a
straight girl and her gay boyfriend before!"
I died! My hair is so big
-- its nice. big is in! Big is beautiful hunny and you know I've always
said that -- that's right
But when it's too big girl you dont wanna be taken
in an ambulance having to explain to the doctors what had happened
-- yeah thats true. you know when you were saying about the *** being or referring
about it being too big I was thinking that movie where she hooked up with that guy
and came up out her vadge hurt yes! omg
-- i've had big ones but my vadge has never hurt
girl, my mange...woo -- your what?
my mange girl.. my mangina your bosoms are extra sparkley!
-oh thank you they're so fabulous
--this is my walmart shirt you always dress so nice
-- oh thank you you really do
I totally wish I was wearing my purple polo cuz you know
how we match all the time --yeah well we coordinate. we look good together
Violet and blue are always complimentary. make-up 101 girl
--yeah I have my urban decay on tonight i love urban decay.
If you guys have ever seen the amount of make-up that
I have. I literally have a huge tackle box that's half my size
I also have 2 huge bags filled with make-up I used to travel a lot and do make-up for
people so that's why I had so much cuz it was essential for
me to have and I used everything. I had to have colors for every skin tone
--except for Shawna that time I know! that one time!
--when you had to use Baby Powder Right, I did omg. That was hilarious
She's like I hate you and love you at the same time
She was like why do you hate me D: She's so stinking cute
omg guys we're here at the mexican restaurant! YAY so we're going to go in and get settled
and we'll see you in a bit. Muah! We got some yummy delicious queso dip, salsa
and chips and we're just waiting on our food and we
split because we're pretend dating and its delicious!
-- We got something with vegetables in it we're trying not to indulge in our guilty
pleasures so we're being good -- Except for the queso dip
Yeah but we're splitting it omg guys our food is here look at this!
look at all of this food! magical deliciousness! So now we're venturing out to kick it and
relax and here she is prettying herself up
--and why there's gay guys in there. I dont know why I gotta be pretty for the gay guys.
--Well there might be some lesbians There might be. Maybe they'll buy you drinks
or something -- oh thats true
they'll be like oooh girl! look at them ***! -- yeah there might be one like in a plaid
shirt I know! like a lumberjack or something. that
would be totally hot -- no offense to anyone lesbians are cool
I love lesbians. I was broken down on the side of the road once and this lesbian totally
came to my rescue and I will never forget it. I had a flat tire and
she just stopped in the middle of the rain and changed it for
me and im like omg! I love you!
-- she was a lesbian angel she was she was! it was amazing
so then she's like omg dont I know you from somewhere?
and im like, you may and she's like you perform dont you
and im like yeah and she's like.. i know who you are!!!
so we're walking. oh girl! it is all kinds of moist out here.
Girl are you getting the dead body out of your trunk?
--yes that's hot
--there might be a dead body in there and I wouldnt even know it
shall we? -yes
yay -- oooh you smell nice
girl I smell like a baby ***