Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
VO: The plot of every anime ever made! (echo: ade, ade, ade, ade)
VO: Our story begins with a young boy. His dream is to catch all the little monsters
that run around his world because IT IS HIS DESTINY! *sfx: kids cheering* After leaving
home with a rodent that can utter a few syllables, he sets off in search of the Poke- I mean,
creatures.
Shortly after leaving, our hero meets a girl in an outfit that looks like a sailor’s,
aka a sailor uniform. Oh, and she has magical powers. Her goal is to rid the world of evil
using a magic pink wand. No one really likes her. She joins up with the boy on his quest
anyway. He totally ignores her.
And then they find a ninja. Wait, aren’t ninjas sneaky? … Well with that outfit you’re
just asking to be noticed *sfx: Believe it!* Yes, well, the ninja’s wish is to be, well,
the greatest ninja ever. And to find a girlfriend. And to stop the demon living inside of him.
Moving right along then...
So the trio travel across Japan and eat a bunch of sushi. During the journey they meet
pirates, some cheerleaders, and a giant cat... thing. This isn’t really important though-
it’s all just “filler,” or episodes of an anime that exist only to prolong the
series’ existence. Which is why I only mention it in passing.
Anyway, the team learns some horrible news- the princess has been kidnapped! *sfx: suspense*
She is being held hostage by a man with a magic book that kills people. He tells the
kingdom to give him power over them all or else the princess’ name will go in the book
and she’ll DIE! *sfx: different suspense* So of course they give him complete control.
Note to self: in anime, the crazies always rule the world.
So the heroes change their plans to save the princess, and venture into the forest of talking
animals. And then a blue... groundhog? Beaver? Whatever, it’s really fast- gives them a
lift to the other side. Some old dude tells the main characters to
find these special spheres relating to fire- breathing lizards that will free the princess.
He then scans them with a computer and says that they’re *sfx: Over 9000!*, whatever
that means.
In order to obtain these spheres, our heroes challenge another boy with epic and somewhat
creepy hair to a card game. They win, but they have to fight the boy again- only this
time, he’s his alter ego who’s also and Egyptian pharaoh. All rationality is lost
at this point, but (of course) they win again anyway.
And now, finally, with the balls firmly in hand... um, maybe I should reword that...
oh whatever, the team faces off against the main villian! *sfx: child giggling* Opps,
wrong sound effect. *sfx: drama* But he has a trick up his sleeve: he can turn into a
50- foot, fire- breathing... turtle. *sfx: slide whistle* Laaaaammmeee! … Okay not
lame, not lame! So there is an epic fight, with buildings blowing up and guns and pixie
dust and shadow clone jutsu and electroballs and... ~pant~ okay, I’ve gotta catch my
breath. Hoo...
So the bad guy is captured in the spheres and the princess is free! Yays! *sfx: applause*
And together the boy with the monster and the princess ride off into space with a Poptart
cat, leaving the ninja and magical girl behind to dance like bunnies. And the world returns
to normal... or as normal as anime can be, anyway.
The End