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(John H.) IT'S THAT TIME, AMERICA!
WHAT GOES UP MUST WIPE OUT.
(grunts)
AAH!
(cheering)
(whoosh)
ON THE WORLD'S LARGEST AND MOST EXTRAORDINARY OBSTACLE COURSE.
AAH!
AAH! (slo-mo voice) OHH!
AAH! AAH!
ONLY OUR MIGHTIEST FOUR WILL ADVANCE...
TO THE MOST CHALLENGING OBSTACLE COURSE OF ALL--
(thud)
(whack)
ONE WILL BECOME A CHAMPION, BUT ALL...
WILL WIPEOUT.
(woman) HAVING A BABY IS EASIER.
HELLO, AMERICA, AND WELCOME TO "WIPEOUT."
I'M JOHN ANDERSON,
DID YOU JUST CALL ME "BONNIE"?
WHERE? COOL.
UH, AS ALWAYS, 24 CONTESTANTS ARE READY TO TAKE ON
THE BIGGEST AND CRAZIEST OBSTACLE COURSE EVER ASSEMBLED.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AT THE END, RIGHT, JOHN?
MM. YEAH, LOVE THE MONEY.
IT ALL STARTS WITH OUR QUALIFIER,
(grinding)
KEEP YOUR BALANCE ON THE TWO MOVING BEAMS,
AFTER THAT, WE MOVE ON TO THE SUCKER PUNCH...
NOW SKILLED IN FACE PAINTING.
THEY CAN MOVE. IT'S A MIRACLE!
AND IF OUR CONTESTANTS DON'T MOVE...
THEY MEET THE MOTIVATOR.
SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE, JOHN.
USING GEOMETRY FOR EVIL.
AS ALWAYS, THE 12 FASTEST COMPETITORS
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET DOWN TO THE ACTION
WITH THE THIRD MEMBER OF OUR "WIPEOUT" TEAM,
JILL WAGNER. JILL?
OKAY, GUYS, ON DECK IS MICHAEL EWING.
AAH!
AAH! THIS GUY'S INTENSE, JOHN. WHO IS HE?
THIS IS MICHAEL, AND HE'S A HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL COACH
GETTING FIRED UP TO TAKE ON THE UNBALANCED BEAMS.
(grunts)
(laughs) OH, YEAH. GET BACK IN THE GAME, COACH. COME ON!
AAH! AAH!
THAT'S A BASEBALL REFERENCE.
WHATEVER. I TELL YOU, THIS COACH MISSED HIS CALLING.
(slo-mo voice) AAH! AAH!
DON'T MOCK ME. WE'RE ATHLETES, JOHN.
COACH GIVING AWAY HIS NEXT PLAY ON THE SUCKER PUNCH.
NOW IT WILL REALLY HELP HIS TIME IF HE CAN MAKE IT ACROSS HERE
AAH!
OHH! (laughs) YEAH, HE'S GONNA HAVE A HARD TIME
(slo-mo voice) AAH!
(thud)
LET'S SEE IF HIS FUN CONTINUES THERE ON THE BIG BALLS.
AAH!
OHH! BUT LOOK AT THE NICE TIGHT SPIRAL.
YEAH, VERY NICE FORM.
YEAH, IT TAKES PRACTICE, JOHN, AND A LOVE OF THE GAME.
WELL, SO FAR, I'D SAY THE UNBALANCED BEAMS,
THE SUCKER PUNCH AND THE BIG BALLS GOT YOU,
(whirring, thud)
OHH! NOW ON TO THE SHAKE-A-LATOR.
COACH NEEDS TO ZIG OR ZAG TO THAT PLATFORM
(laughs) OH.
WOW! ANOTHER SPIN MOVE BY THE COACH.
CRAP.
EVERY TIME HE FALLS, HE SPINS.
AAH!
(creaking)
(squeaking)
HOP ON THE SWING, MAKE IT THROUGH THE SHAPE,
COACH UP, READY TO MAKE THAT SMALL HOP ONTO THE SWING,
(grunts)
OH. (laughs) YOU KNOW, YOU CALL THAT A SPIN MOVE, JOHNNY...
BUT YEARS OF CHEERLEADING TELL ME THIS IS A PIROUETTE.
(grunts) OHH!
FOOTBALL COACH MICHAEL EWING MAKING HIS WAY
TO THE FINISHING SPOT. HE ENDS WITH A TIME OF 4:19.
(panting, blows raspberry)
WELL SAID, COACH. WELL SPOKEN.
UP NEXT AT THE TOP OF THE COURSE,
AND HE'S GONNA TAKE ON THE UNBALANCED BEAMS?
YEAH, JILL FOUND OUT JUST HOW AWESOME.
(grunts) I'M NOT THAT BALANCED.
(laughs) OKAY, WILL, ALL RIGHT. UH, WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR SKILL?
(boing)
(John H. laughs) OH, JOHN. NO SKILL, NO BALANCE,
APPROACHING THE UNBALANCED BEAMS?
(drumroll plays)
AAH!
(laughs) OH, THAT WAS EVERYTHING I EXPECTED AND MORE.
WHO IS THIS GUY?
JOHNNY, THIS IS WILL WEST. HE COMES FROM A RODEO FAMILY.
(squirting, smacking)
LOOK AT THAT.
(high-pitched voice) AAH!
AAH!
WILD WILL WEST GONNA TAUNT THE BALLS.
WHOO!
I KNOW.
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
(slo-mo voice) AAH!
(air horn blows)
SO FAR, JOHNNY,
WHOO! WATCH OUT!
AAH!
THEY'VE BEEN BOUNCED AND THROWN...
AAH!
(smack)
(grunts)
(grunting) WHOO!
DON'T BE SCARED, JOHNNY.
(whirring, thudding)
LET'S GO TO JILL AND FIND OUT WHO THAT IS
OKAY, GUYS. I'VE GOT WITH ME DOWN HERE KURUMI UCHINO,
(Japanese accent) HELLO, I'M SUSHI MAMA,
(John H.) HUH.
(John A.) WHAT TRANSLATION?
NOW ON THE SHAKE-A-LATOR,
(continues screaming)
(laughs) OH.
(creaking)
YEAH, WHERE I COME FROM, WE EAT OUR SUSHI COOKED--
MEDIUM RARE, AND IT'S MADE OUT OF A COW.
(thud)
OHH.
(John A. and John H.) SAKE BOMB!
AAH! CAW! READY TO FLY!
THAT IS 24-YEAR-OLD RUSSELL SMITH.
LET'S GO TO JILL FOR A SCOUTING REPORT.
YOU KNOW, I THINK ONE OF THE BIGGEST ACCOMPLISHMENTS
(John H.) COOL.
ONCE I ACHIEVED THAT, IT WAS KIND OF ULTIMATE,
YOU KNOW, A BALD EAGLE SCOUT IS AN ENDANGERED SPECIES.
BOBBY MARTIN!
(squeaking)
READY TO FLY!
(John A.) OHH. YEAH.
BUT OUR UNBALANCED BEAMS HAVE BEEN HELPING OTHER CONTESTANTS
AAH!
AAH!
MAYBE 19-YEAR-OLD GYMNAST TAMATHA DEUTCHER HAS A CHANCE
ACTUALLY, THEY'RE UNBALANCED.
YOU KNOW, THAT WIPEOUT WOULD'VE HURT 83% MORE
"WIPEOUT"! WHOO!
WELL, HERE COMES 41-YEAR-OLD MAILMAN KEN WADE.
RUNNING HIS ROUTE ON THE RIGHT SIDE...
(boing)
WELL, HE CERTAINLY HAS A TALENT FOR WIPING OUT,
KEN, I HEAR YOU'RE A BIT OF A MIMIC.
YEAH, I'M KINDA LIKE A PARROT, YOU KNOW?
YOU SAY SOMETHING, AND I CAN TRY AND GET IT BACK TO YA--
OH, REALLY?
(Jill's voice) HI, I'M JILL WAGNER.
WELCOME TO "WIPEOUT."
I LIKE WEARING PRETTY DRESSES AND BOWS IN MY HAIR.
I LIKE WEARING PRETTY DRESSES AND BOWS IN MY HAIR.
(laughs, normal voice) YOU KNOW...
LET'S TRADE SPOTS, SHALL WE?
(Jill's voice) HI, I'M JILL WAGNER.
(John H.) YEAH, I'M NOT BUYING IT.
(John A.) I DON'T THINK KEN'S GONNA GET ANY PRETTIER
(grunts)
(smack)
AND FROM GETTING PUNCHED IN THE FACE
OH, JEEZ.
OHH, JEEZ.
HE'S HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE AT THE END.
OH, SLIPPED DOWN. NICE RECOVERY.
LET'S DO THIS!
HE DID IT. LET'S GO TO JILL AND FIND OUT HIS SECRET.
UM, RECENTLY I GOT INTO THIS THING CALLED "TRICKING."
UH, IT'S A COMBINATION
OF MIXED MARTIAL ARTS, FREESTYLE GYMNASTICS--
YEAH.
(boing, whooshing)
(John A.) TO ME, IT LOOKS LIKE
NO WAY, I'M A BELIEVER.
IN FACT, I'M GONNA TRY IT RIGHT NOW.
(shouts indistinctly)
SORRY. MY BAD. I'LL-- I WILL, UH, PAY FOR THAT.
ALL RIGHT, BUT FIRST LET ME GET TO A REPLAY HERE.
OOH! OUR TRICKER TAKES IT RIGHT IN THE BAG OF TRICKS.
MM. BUT IT LOOKS LIKE PETER HAS A GOOD FINISHING KICK,
AND HE HAS A VERY COMPETITIVE TIME--
(panting) OHH. THAT'S A LOT HARDER THAN IT LOOKS.
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
THAT'S 24 YEAR OLD VIVIANNA LANDEROS,
ON HER WAY TO THE SHAKE-A-LATOR.
AND NOW SHE'S TAKING ON A WHOLE NEW LOOK.
SHE HAS A MOM?
JILL, NO LAUGHING.
THAT OUTFIT'S GONNA HAVE MAJOR PROBLEMS ON THE SHAKE-A-LATOR.
OH, THIS IS REALLY GONNA TEST MY CENSOR BAR SKILLS.
(laughs) OH. SERIOUSLY!
WE HAVE GONE FROM CENSORED TO TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE.
DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS
TO CENSOR A MOVING TARGET LIKE THAT, JOHN?
I NEED A BREAK. I THINK I'M GETTING CARPAL TUNNEL.
WELL, NOW'S A GOOD TIME THEN. WE'LL TAKE THAT BREAK.
THAT WAS TOTALLY, TOTALLY, TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE!
DOES SHE NOT KNOW THIS IS A FAMILY SHOW?
YOUR CONCERNS HAVE BEEN NOTED.
NO.
STAY TUNED. MORE GOOD, CLEAN, FAMILY FUN'S ON THE WAY,
AAH! WHOO!
♪♪♪
WELCOME BACK TO "WIPEOUT," WHERE THE ALL-NEW QUALIFIER
IS DOING THE JOB OF TRIMMING OUR FULL FIELD OF 24 DOWN TO 12.
YOU KNOW, JOHN, I WAS JUST SITTING HERE THINKING
ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE BALLSY.
YOU HEARD ME. BALLSY.
WE SPENT A LOT OF TIME TOGETHER OVER THE WINTER BREAK.
MAN, HE IS THE BEST MASCOT.
I'M...
IT'S CALLED A SEGUE, ANDERSON. LOOK IT UP.
SHEHANNIE WONG DOWN HERE WITH ME.
THANK YOU, JILL.
SO YOU WERE A MASCOT, AND YOU WERE A COWBOY?
WELL, THE MASCOT WAS ACTUALLY THIS BIG HEAD
WITH A BIG COWBOY HAT ON IT,
(laughs) CAN YOU DO THE, UH-- THE COWBOY DANCE FOR ME?
YEP. IT GOES...
♪ DUM-DUM ♪
(voice echoing) ♪ DUM-DUM-DUM DUM-DUM ♪
♪ TONTO, JUMP ON IT, JUMP ON IT, JUMP... ♪
(John H.) I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WERE ACTUAL PEOPLE
HA!
(John A.) AND HER UNIVERSE IS UNRAVELING, TOO.
OH, MAN. AAH!
AH!
YEAH, IT DID. WE HAVE VIDEO EVIDENCE. ROLL IT!
YOU CAN SEE HERE,
AAH!
SHEHANNIE AT THE SUCKER PUNCH, WHERE I'M SURE SHE WISHES
(grunts) AAH!
OHH! SHEHANNIE GETS A GIGANTIC HEAD BUTT INTO THE MUD.
AAH!
SHEHANNIE WONG HESITATING A BIT THERE
HEY, SHE WHO HESITATES GETS MOTIVATES... TED.
NO!
BOO.
YOU CAN'T WIN 'EM ALL, JOHNNY.
I BET I COULD WIN ON THE SHAKE-A-LATOR.
OHH. AAH!
(bell dinging, flippers clacking)
OHH! YOU ARE A PINBALL WIZARD, MY FRIEND.
OOH, FREE BALL.
OHH. I THINK I GOT THE HIGH SCORE.
LET'S SEE IF SHEHANNIE WONG'S GOT ENOUGH SPIRIT LEFT IN HER
(grunts) AAH!
OHH! WOW.
OHH.
(projectile whistling, thunk)
THAT'S THE SPIRIT.
HE WANTS A SCALPEL?
YEAH, WELL, I WANT TO GO HORSEBACK RIDING
WITH ROSIE O'DONNELL,
WHAT IS THIS GUY'S DEAL, JILL?
I'M DOWN HERE WITH CHARLIE GRAY.
I AM ACTUALLY A VETERINARY STUDENT,
(swoosh, whip cracks, disco music playing)
(John H. laughs) OH, HE IS AN ANIMAL... DOCTOR.
"DR. DISCO." I LIKE THAT.
I'M HERE TO NEUTER THE BIG BALLS.
OW.
(John A.) WOULD YOU TAKE MEDICAL ADVICE
(John H.) ACTUALLY, I HAVE.
(thudding, clank)
(laughs)
THE BALLS REMAIN INTACT.
(high-pitched voice) OH, BOY! ALL RIGHT! YIPPEE! HOORAY!
DR. DISCO SHOULD HAVE NO PROBLEMS
AAH. AAH! OHH! AAH!
HOLY BARRY GIBB, THAT HAD TO HURT!
(slo-mo voice) AAH!
BUT HE TOOK ONE IN THE FAMILY STONE.
JILL, WHO'S NEXT?
CLARISSE.
(John H.) AAH! IT'S HANNIBAL LECTER!
(John A.) JOHNNY, IT'S JILL.
(Jill, muffled voice) I'VE GOT A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR YOU.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE HAVING FOR LUNCH TODAY...
HMM... SO MAYBE SOME FAVA BEANS?
(John H.) OH, THAT IS DEFINITELY HANNIBAL LECTER, JOHN.
AND THE SUCKER PUNCH IS MAKING ITSELF A WOMAN SUIT
(smacking)
NO, CLARISSE, THE LOTION GOES IN THE BASKET, NOT ON YOUR FACE.
(John A.) AND DEFINITELY NOT IN THE MUD.
AS WE LEAVE CLARISSE IN THE PIT, LET'S CHECK OUT JOY GREY.
OH, NO.
SWEET CREAMERY BUTTER, SHE IS!
(smack)
(clank)
(laughs) OHH.
AAH! AAH! AAH!
HOW ABOUT SOME MORE BIG BALLS? HERE COMES HEIDI TOLER.
COME ON. GIVE HEIDI A CHANCE.
AAH!
(laughs) OH, MY GOD! GREAT CAESAR'S GHOST!
(thudding, clank)
ZOUNDS!
FOR THE REST OF THE SHOW!
(clank)
JOHNNY, I NEED MORE WIPEOUTS... AND A LATTE.
WELL, YOU'RE IN LUCK,
BECAUSE HERE COMES 23-YEAR-OLD BARISTA WHITNEY McKEE,
MAKING HER WAY TO THE SHAKE-A-LATOR.
OOH, OUR BARISTA ALMOST GOT SPLIT IN HALF-AND-HALF.
THAT WAS GOOD TO THE LAST DROP, JOHNNY.
OUR BARISTA WHITNEY HEADING OVER TO THE SHAPE-SHIFTER NOW.
REMEMBER, SHE'S GOTTA SWING THROUGH ONE OF THESE SHAPES
YADA, YADA, YADA. SHE IS GOING FOR A DRINK, MY FRIEND.
OH!
IT'S GRINDING HER. CAN SHE HANG ON? MM!
OH, NOW THAT WAS A VENTI WIPEOUT.
OUR BARISTA HASN'T BEEN THE ONLY ONE TO GET ROASTED
BY THE SHAPE-SHIFTER.
AAH!
AAH!
THE BEST PART OF WAKING UP IS A WIPEOUT IN YOUR CUP.
WHOA! WHO'S THIS BIG GUY IN A LITTLE COAT?
MY NAME IS MICHAEL MORRIS!
I LOVE YOU, JOHN ANDERSON!
SOMEBODY'S GOT A MAN CRUSH,
AND HE HAS GOT A LOT OF LOVE TO GIVE.
I HAVE A VERY LARGE FAN BASE, JOHN.
(grunts) "WIPEOUT"!
WELL, LET'S SEE IF HIS LOVE CAN HELP HIM BEAT THE TIME
YEAH!
OH!
(screaming)
ARE YOU SURE, JOHN? THAT'S A PRETTY GIRLY SCREAM.
WHOO! DAMN!
(grunts)
ANDERSON, YOUR BROSEPH SEEMS A LITTLE WORN OUT.
(voice amplified) YOU WANT TO USE MY MEGAPHONE
NOT SURE THAT'S GONNA HELP.
(normal voice) LOOK, MA, NO HANDS!
JOHN, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NOT DOING MUCH TO NURTURE THIS MAN CRUSH.
(whirring)
AAH!
(laughs) HE JUST SCREAMED LIKE A LITTLE GIRL.
MAKE FUN IF YOU WANT, JILL,
BUT MICHAEL STILL HAS A SHOT TO MOVE ON
OH, GOD.
AND NOT PASS OUT ON THE SWING.
MICHAEL MORRIS WILL NOT MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ROUND.
LET'S GO TO THE LEADERBOARD AND SEE WHO IS.
MOVING ON, WE HAVE "THE BARISTA" WHITNEY McKEE,
"WILD" WILL WEST
AND RUSSELL "THE BALD EAGLE SCOUT" SMITH.
WE ALSO HAVE COACH MICHAEL EWING,
"TRICKER" PETER TON AND CHARLIE "DR. DISCO" GRAY.
OH!
(yelps)
♪♪♪
WELCOME BACK TO "WIPEOUT."
WE'VE PUT THE QUALIFIER AND 12 CONTESTANTS BEHIND US--
12 MORE READY TO PUSH FORWARD.
AMONG OUR REMAINING CONTESTANTS,
WE HAVE BARISTA WHITNEY McKEE,
"THE BALD EAGLE SCOUT" RUSSELL SMITH
WE ALSO HAVE TRICKER PETER TON,
CHARLIE "DR. DISCO" GRAY AND "THE MIMIC" KEN WADE.
YEAH, YOU KNOW, I'M A PRETTY GOOD MIMIC MYSELF.
"REALLY? LET'S SEE IT."
YEAH. THAT WAS THE WORST IMPRESSION OF ME EVER.
"THAT WAS THE WORST IMPRESSION OF ME EVER."
PLEASE STOP.
DON'T. UH, SPEAKING OF IMPRESSIONS, OUR NEXT OBSTACLE
BOUND TO LEAVE AN IMPRESSION ON OUR CONTESTANTS.
(contestants screaming)
TELL 'EM HOW IT WORKS, SISTER.
OUR 12 CONTESTANTS STAND ON A 10-FOOT-HIGH STARTING PLATFORM
AS FOUR PLANKS MOVE IN A CIRCULAR MOTION.
CONTESTANTS MUST JUMP ON TO ONE OF THE GREEN PLANKS TO BEGIN,
THEN USE THE ONE RED PLANK TO GET TO THE FINISH PLATFORM
ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE. WORKING AGAINST THEM--
(screams)
IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. THOSE WHO WIPE OUT WILL HAVE TO
GET BACK UP AND START THE WHOLE THING ALL OVER.
IT IS ONE BIG HEAT. FIRST SIX TO MAKE IT ACROSS
OH, AND BY THE WAY, DON'T FORGET THE LANDING PLATFORM
OOH, THAT'S SNEAKY. I LIKE IT.
"THAT'S SNEAKY. I LIKE IT."
AND THIS WEEK, WE HAVE A VERY SPECIAL GUEST.
(John H., deep voice) HELLO!
OH, MY GOSH.
HEY, IT WASN'T A FAT CAMP!
JUST JUMP ON THE BALL AND SWING OVER. THAT'S THE STRATEGY.
WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE-- A CUTE, CUDDLY TIRE SWING?
YOU AIN'T GONNA NEUTER ME, DR. DISCO!
(John A.) AND THE DOUBLE CROSS IS UNDERWAY.
(John H.) I LOVE THIS STUNT, JOHN.
IT'S ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS WE'VE EVER HAD.
THE CONTESTANTS TRY SO HARD, FALL SO MUCH.
WHOA, WAIT A MINUTE. DID KEN THE MIMIC JUST MAKE IT?
(grunts)
I STAND CORRECTED. HE JUST SHOOTS RIGHT ACROSS.
(screaming)
OH! WOW!
I SPOKE TOO SOON. LOOK AT THIS.
YOU'RE NOT EVEN OVERREACTING THIS TIME.
THEY'RE LIKE ANTS ON AN ANTHILL,
I FEEL SO VINDICATED.
WELL, IN THE MIDST OF THE CHAOS, MICHAEL OUR FOOTBALL COACH
TRIES TO MAKE A BREAK FOR IT ON THE WRONG PLANK.
OH!
RUSSELL THE BALD EAGLE SCOUT HAS FINALLY LEFT THE NEST,
AAH!
THE BALD EAGLE SCOUT TREATING THE WRECKING BALL
HEY, WRECKY, WHAT'S UP WITH THE WEIGHT LOSS?
THE BALL HIT ME!
OKAY. THE WRECKING BALL STILL USING
OUR GYMNAST TAMATHA MAKES HER WAY ACROSS--
OH!
AAH!
THIS IS CRAZY.
THIS COMING FROM A GUY WHO WEARS PLATFORMS AND SEQUINS.
DR. DISCO SHAKEN OFF,
AND THE FOOTBALL COACH TACKLING A SWEEPER ARM,
OH, WATER BREAK FOR HIM.
"TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE" VIVIANNA'S KNOCKED OFF THE POLE,
YOU'RE FIRED.
ALL RIGHT, COACH, YOU GOTTA WARN ME THIS TIME.
WAY TO ENCOURAGE GOOD TEAMWORK, COACH.
OUR FOOTBALL COACH ON HIS WAY,
BALD EAGLE SCOUT HEADING TO THE MIDDLE,
MM. SOME GAL WE'VE NEVER MENTIONED IS ON,
HIT BY THAT ARM BUT MANAGES TO HOLD ON.
(grunts)
TO THE LANDING PLATFORM, ALMOST GETS DUNKED,
BUT EARNS HIS PERSISTENCE BADGE AND CLAIMS THAT SECOND SPOT.
UH-HUH!
AND HE MAKES A CASE FOR HIS CHILDHOOD OBESITY BADGE.
(grunts)
OOH! LATE HIT. LET'S SEE IT AGAIN--
YEAH, BUT THE PLATFORM IS HEARTLESS.
WE STILL HAVE FOUR SPOTS OPEN, AND THAT SAME GAL
JUST HANGING ON THE SWEEPER ARM FOR DEAR LIFE.
WE'RE ALL SCARED. LET'S HOLD EACH OTHER.
OH! THE WRECKING BALL WHIPS WHITNEY THE BARISTA,
AND OUR CHICK ALEXANDRA LOOKS LIKE
SHE'S READY TO GO FOR THAT RED PLANK. OH!
OH! AND SHE GOES FOR IT WITH HER CHIN.
DR. DISCO'S OFF LIKE A POLYESTER BLAZER
AND MAKES IT TO THE MIDDLE, AND HE--JEEZ!--HE HANGS ON,
AND HE IS WALKIN' ON K.C. AND THE SUNSHINE BAND.
THAT'S HALF THE SPOTS FILLED NOW AND THREE LEFT.
"WILD" WILL WEST GALLOPS TO THE MIDDLE.
HE'S TROTTING DOWN THAT RED PLANK,
(grunts)
WHITNEY THE BARISTA'S ON,
AVOIDS A WHACK-A-CINO FROM THE SWEEPER
AND HAS MADE IT TO THE MIDDLE, IS OFF DOWN THAT RED PLANK,
AVOIDS WRECKY, IS UP OVER A SECOND BAR.
WOW!
(Jill) THAT IS HOW YOU DO IT, WHITNEY!
THAT'S THE STUFF, BABY! THAT'S THE STUFF!
WHITNEY CLAIMS THE FOURTH SPOT, JOINS DR. DISCO,
(grunts) OH! MEAN.
TOUGH LOVE, BABY. TOUGH LOVE.
GYMNAST IS ON, AND "WILD" WILL WEST IS GOING
FOR ONE OF THOSE FINAL TWO SPOTS.
WILL GOING FOR THAT LANDING PLATFORM AGAIN.
OH, FIRES A LITTLE LONG THIS TIME.
OH! (laughs) SHOW ME THAT ONE MORE TIME, PLEASE.
(grunts)
THAT LEAVES COACH MICHAEL AND "TRICKER" PETER
IN THE MIDDLE, AND WHAT IS PETER DOING?
A NEW TRICK. CERTAINLY HOPE HE'S GONNA KICK HIS LEGS, JOHN.
IT'S THE ONLY THING THAT CAN MAKE THIS TRICK COOLER.
HE IS, JOHN.
THIS GUY IS THE COOLEST. HE'S GOT GREAT KARMA COMING HIS WAY.
OH!
TALK ABOUT DIRTY TRICKS, JOHN.
THE DOUBLE CROSS FOOLED OUR TRICKER,
YEAH, MORE OF A TWITCH, REALLY, BUT HE'S STILL AWESOME.
STILL HAVE THOSE TWO SPOTS OPEN,
MOVE IT, COACH,
GO AWAY. GO AWAY.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THE WRECKING BALL
HE STRONG-ARMED ME!
WILD WILL WEST ONCE AGAIN IN THE MIDDLE.
HE'S JOINED BY "MOTIVATED" JOY RIGHT BEHIND HIM,
YEAH!
YES! WHOO!
YOU GOTTA RESPECT A COACH, AND THAT LEAVES US
WITH JUST ONE SPOT LEFT. TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE
OOH!
(laughs)
(yelps)
OH!
OH!
PROVE TO ME THAT THAT JUST HAPPENED.
YEP, SHE KNEES HERSELF IN THE FACE.
WE ONLY HAVE ONE SPOT LEFT, AND OUR GYMNAST WANTS IT.
BUT CAN WILD WILL WEST TAKE IT FROM HER?
THE MAN'S HAD NO LUCK WITH THIS LANDING PLATFORM SO FAR--
YEAH!
FINALLY!
AND HE MAKES IT TO THAT FINISH SPOT.
SO WILD WILL WEST GRABS THE SIXTH AND FINAL SPOT.
HE'LL BE MOVING ON ALONG WITH KEN "THE MIMIC" WADE,
THE BALD EAGLE SCOUT RUSSELL SMITH,
DR. DISCO CHARLIE GRAY, WHITNEY "THE BARISTA" McKEE
UP NEXT--6 BECOME 4 ON THEIR WAY TO 50 GRAND.
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
WELCOME BACK TO "WIPEOUT,"
WHERE WE HAVE A LOT MORE FUN THAN OUR CONTESTANTS.
MM, YES. THE DASTARDLY DOUBLE CROSS ELIMINATED
ANOTHER HALF DOZEN OF THOSE CONTESTANTS.
THAT'S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY. I DON'T TEST WELL.
LET'S LOOK AT THE LEADERBOARD, SHALL WE?
(gun fires)
THE MIMIC KEN WADE,
(eagle cries)
DR. DISCO CHARLIE GRAY, WHITNEY "THE BARISTA" McKEE
AND COACH MICHAEL EWING. FOUR OF THESE SIX ARE GOING TO
MOVE ON TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE AND GET A SHOT AT 50 GRAND.
AND, JOHN, IF THEY'RE GONNA SHOW UP AT THE WIPEOUT ZONE,
WE WANT TO MAKE SURE THEY ARE SQUEAKY CLEAN,
SO IN ORDER TO GET THERE, THEY MUST FIRST TACKLE THE CAR WASH.
(horn honks)
OUR SIX CONTESTANTS MUST STAY ON THIS ROTATING SPINNER
(boing)
THIS GIANT BRISTLED BRUSH EVERY TIME IT COMES AROUND.
(whack)
AND DON'T FORGET, THE LUCKY CONTESTANT
(cash register dings)
WE WILL PLAY FOUND ROUNDS. THE LAST MAN OR WOMAN STANDING
AT THE END OF EACH ROUND WILL MOVE ON TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
HERE WE GO, GUYS.
THE CONTESTANTS ARE ON THE CONVEYOR
HEY, CAN I START THE ROUND
YEAH, BUT GO EASY AT FIRST.
(truck horn honks)
(chuckles) OH. WHAT, TOO FAST?
EVEN ON THE EXPRESS WASH.
THE MIMIC WAS TRYING TO MIMIC BERNIE MADOFF...
AND GOT BUSTED FOR GREED.
AND WILL WEST GOT SUCKED RIGHT INTO HIS SCHEME.
HERE COMES THE ARM AGAIN.
GOODNESS!
(cash register dings)
YEAH, WHICH HE'LL BE USING ON A CHIROPRACTOR.
(whoosh)
YEAH, JOHN, NO CAR WASH WOULD BE COMPLETE
WITHOUT ARMING OUR "WIPEOUT" WASHERS
DR. DISCO HIT,
(laughs) WHAT IS HE STILL DOING IN HERE?
HE FELL, LIKE, TEN MINUTES AGO.
OOH!
(screams)
OH! THE BARISTA IS DOWN AND OUT.
WHOO-HOO!
WOW, GUYS. I THINK THAT WAS THE FASTEST ROUND EVER.
NOW, JOHN, WE'VE GONE OVER THE RULES HERE.
THE COACH EXPLAINING THE BASIC PRINCIPLES OF CAR WASHING
USING THE TEACHINGS OF MR. MIYAGI.
WELL, ROUND TWO ABOUT TO BEGIN AS OUR GIANT BRUSH...
TRIES TO SWEEP THE LEG, JOHNNY!
(laughs) AND THEY ALL FALL DOWN, AND THE MIMIC FIRST OUT AGAIN.
YEAH, TOO BAD HE CAN'T IMITATE ATHLETIC ABILITY.
WILD WILL GETTING ONE, TWO GIANT SPONGES...
BUT IT'S THE BARISTA WHO'S DOWN AND IN THE DRINK.
AAH!
AND THOSE CHAMOIS CONTINUE TO FLY.
YEAH, I'M SURE THESE THREE ARE JUST HAPPY
SPONGE!
THE COACH TAKES ONE FOR THE TEAM,
BUT WILD WILL IS DOWN. CAN HE BUCK UP AND STAY ON?
OHH. IT'S A CONTEST NOW BETWEEN THE FOOTBALL COACH
(whack)
WHO GIVES THE TEAM INSPIRATION, OR THE GUY WHO GIVES THE TEAM
JOHN, THOSE ENORMOUS SPONGES DOING TONS OF DAMAGE.
OOH!
THAT CHAMOIS TO THE FACE DIDN'T HELP, EITHER.
OH, BUT HE SHAKES IT OFF. YOU KNOW, HE'S USED TO
OH, THE COACH BLINDED BY A CHAMOIS--
WHOO!
AND A LOSS OF PRIDE WHEN HIS PLAYERS FIND OUT
TAKE THAT, EVERYBODY. MADE IT TO THE FINAL WIPEOUT ZONE.
♪ CAR WASH ♪
OH. YEAH. MM. ALL RIGHT, BACK TO YOU GUYS.
TIME FOR ROUND THREE. WE'VE GOT KEN THE MIMIC...
MIMIC, NOT A PIRATE, JOHN.
MY BAD. WILD WILL, COACH MICHAEL EWING
(truck horn honks)
WILD WILL SLIPS, AND, OF COURSE, THE MIMIC FOLLOWS.
BUT, JOHN, CHECK IT OUT. WE'VE UPGRADED THE CAR WASH TO DELUXE.
MM, SUDSY. THAT'S GONNA MAKE IT A LITTLE HARDER TO SEE
OH! AND THE MIMIC IS FIRST OUT AGAIN,
(whoosh)
THE BARISTA AND THE COACH.
(grunts)
JOHN, THEY'RE DEFINITELY NOT SEEING
(grunts)
(grunts)
AAH!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THAT WAS.
WELL, LET'S LOOK AT IT AGAIN, THEN.
(grunts)
(boing)
AAH!
MEANING HE'LL BE THE THIRD CONTESTANT IN THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
YOU KNOW, NOW SEEING THIS...
WOW, I'M SURPRISED I GOT THIS FAR.
I KNOW, RIGHT? I MEAN, NO!
ALL RIGHT, WE'VE RINSED. LET'S REPEAT.
OUR FINAL ROUND'S BEGUN. ONLY ONE SPOT LEFT
KEN "THE MIMIC" LOOKING TO AVOID BEING THE FIRST ONE OUT
AND LOOK, HERE COMES THE MOST DEMONIC CHAMOIS IN THE WORLD.
YEAH, JOHN, IT'S 30 ABSORBENT STRIPS OF DESTRUCTION.
AAH!
(man) GET UP! GET UP! OHH.
(bell dings)
AND COVERED IN BUBBLES. WHOEVER CAN WITHSTAND THE CAR WASH
KEN THE MIMIC ONCE AGAIN DOING HIS DORK MIMIC.
YEAH, I THINK HE'S GIVING HIMSELF A HAND WASH.
OH, KEN THE MIMIC'S DOWN, MAKES AN AMAZING RECOVERY.
(grunts)
AAH!
AND THE CURTAIN CLOSES
ON KEN THE MIMIC'S FINAL PERFORMANCE.
AND IT'S WILL GOING TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
YEAH!
AND THAT IS HOW THE WILL WEST WON.
WAH-HA!
SO HE'LL BE MOVING ON, ALONG WITH CHARLIE "DR. DISCO" GRAY,
RUSSELL "THE BALD EAGLE SCOUT" SMITH
STAY TUNED, BECAUSE AFTER THE BREAK,
(grunting)
WHOO!
♪♪♪
WELCOME BACK TO "WIPEOUT." IT IS MONEY TIME.
THAT'S RIGHT. 24 SHOW UP IN THE MORNING,
BUT ONLY FOUR CAN MAKE IT TO THE GRAND FINALE.
I'M TALKING, OF COURSE, ABOUT THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
THE WIPEOUT ZONE IS MADE UP OF FOUR STAGES.
IT BEGINS HERE AT THE DREADMILL LAUNCH
WHERE CONTESTANTS DROP AND BOUNCE 40 FEET
THEN IT'S A SHORT SWIM OVER TO THE GUT BUSTERS--
AFTER ENDURING THAT POUNDING,
OUR CONTESTANTS MOVE ON TO THE SINISTAIRS,
CLIMB TO THE TOP OF A SPINNING SPIRAL STAIRCASE OF TROUBLE
WITHOUT BEING TAKEN DOWN BY TWO RUTHLESS SWEEPER ARMS.
FINALLY, OUR COMPETITORS WILL HAVE TO MAKE THEIR WAY
CRANKSHAFT WINDS IT UP.
IT'S FOLLOWED BY THE INTIMIDATING BLADES OF FURY
AND THEN THE TREACHEROUS *** TOTTER.
FOUR CONTESTANTS REMAIN,
AND THE ONE WITH THE BEST TIME GOES HOME WITH $50,000.
LET'S GO TO JILL ON THE SIDELINES.
ALL RIGHT, I'VE GOT WILL WEST DOWN HERE WITH ME.
YOU ARE INCHES AWAY FROM $50,000.
IT FEELS PRETTY GOOD.
GET OUT THERE AND RIDE 'EM, COWBOY.
(John A.) SHOOT. LET'S SEE HOW WILL GOT HERE.
(grunts)
WHOO-HOO!
YEAH!
AND AT THE CAR WASH, BARELY LASSOING HIMSELF
OUR FIRST CONTESTANT TO TAKE ON THE ZONE--WILD WILL WEST.
THE LAUNCH SEQUENCE IS INITIATED.
(beeping)
(lasers firing)
(grunts)
OH, YEAH, NICE BOUNCE AND GOOD ENTRY,
(grunts)
WILD WILL WEST NOW ON TO THOSE GUT BUSTERS.
SIX HYDRAULIC BLOCKS OF PISTON-PUMPING TERROR
THE LEAP FROM BLOCK TO BLOCK MUST BE TIMED PERFECTLY
(grunts)
OH! SO YOU DON'T GET KNOCKED AROUND AND DROPPED
WHILE WILL SWIMS BACK, WE'LL LOOK BACK AT WHAT HAPPENED.
WOW. MAYBE THEY OUGHT TO CALL THIS THE FACE BUSTERS.
WILL WEST MAKING HIS SECOND GO-ROUND NOW
ON THE GUT BUSTER-- NOT TAKING IT EASY HERE--
MOVING PURPOSELY ONTO THAT SECOND, NOW THE THIRD--OH!
THE DOGIE PUNCHIN' BACK.
YEAH, IT DOESN'T GET ANY EASIER, JOHN.
HE SEEMS TO BE HAVING A HARD TIME GETTING HIS BALANCE.
LOOK AT THAT. THAT WAS BRILLIANT.
(grunts)
YEAH, ONE FINAL LEAP ONTO THE PLATFORM,
(grunts)
A WELL-EXECUTED JUMP THERE, AND NOW HE'S ON TO
THAT SPINNING SPIRAL STAIRCASE WITH TWO SWEEPER ARMS
(grunts)
OH!
(laughs) OH!
I'M IN FAVOR OF A REPLAY. A SMALL SLIP--
HE GETS CAUGHT BETWEEN THE FIRST AND SECOND STEP,
AND THE SWEEPER ARM LAYS HIM OUT.
BUT WILD WILL IS A TOUGH GUY, JOHNNY.
QUICKLY UP THE FIRST TWO STAIRS.
NEEDS TO WATCH OUT FOR THOSE SWEEPER ARMS.
IT'S THAT PIONEER SPIRIT, JOHNNY.
(grunts)
MAKING PRETTY GOOD TIME HERE.
WE'RE ALMOST AT THE 5-MINUTE MARK.
WILD WILL WEST NOW ON TO THE FINAL PART OF THE ZONE--
HE GOES FOR IT. OHH!
A HUGE HIT SENDS HIM FLIPPING INTO THE WATER.
THE CRANKSHAFT JUST TOSSING HIM INTO THE AIR.
AND THAT'S WHY I COME HERE, PEOPLE.
IT'S LIKE A BULL TOSSING A RODEO CLOWN.
THAT SWIM AND CLIMB BACK UP A SETBACK TO HIS TIME.
STARTING HIS SECOND PASS.
HE SEEMS TO HAVE MASTERED THAT CRANKSHAFT PATTERN NOW.
OH! ALMOST LOSES IT. BARELY HOLDS ON.
OH! (chuckles)
OOH!
WILD WILL IS ALL WET.
DON'T UNDERESTIMATE THE BLADES OF FURY.
SECONDS AND MINUTES CONTINUING TO PILE UP.
(panting)
YEAH, SEEMS LIKE HE'S FIGURED IT OUT THIS TIME.
NOW HE HAS TO RETURN TO THE SCENE OF THE CRIME--
CLEAR HERE NOW. CAN WILL WEST TAME THE *** TOTTER?
IT'S AN AGGRESSIVE FIRST MOVE, VAULTING ACROSS.
HE'S MADE IT TO THE FINISH PLATFORM!
YEAH!
YEAH!
BUT WILL THAT BE ENOUGH TO STAND UP TO THE TIME OF THIS MAN--
(screams)
COACH MICHAEL EWING'S FANCY FOOTWORK
AAH!
OH! OOH!
AND THE CAR WASH MOVED HIS SQUAD WITHIN STRIKING DISTANCE
OF THE $50,000. ALL RIGHT. CAN COACH MICHAEL BEAT THE TIME
SET BY WILD WILL WEST? THE LAUNCH SEQUENCE LOADED IN,
AND HERE WE GO.
(beeping, lasers firing)
COACH MICHAEL FLAILING HIS ARMS
AND MAKES AN AWKWARD ENTRY INTO THE WATER.
JOHNNY, A LOT OF SPEED COMING DOWN THE CHUTE,
AAH!
REALLY STALLED HIS MOMENTUM.
COACH MICHAEL NOW ON TO THE SECOND OBSTACLE--
YEAH, NOT AS FAST OUT OF THE GATE AS WILD WILL WEST,
TRYING TO STAY LOW HERE, JUST LIKE HE TEACHES THE PLAYERS.
THIRD GUT BUSTER.
JOHNNY, HE'S GETTING TOSSED AROUND
THOSE ARE SLIPPERY BLOCKS, JOHN.
HE'S MANAGED TO KEEP HIS FOOTING SO FAR.
PASSING THE MIDWAY POINT, AND HE FLOPS ONTO THAT FIFTH BLOCK.
ALMOST SLIDES OFF SIDEWAYS, BUT HE'S ON THE LAST BLOCK...
AND HE'S ACROSS THE GUT BUSTERS.
COACH SHOWING A LOT OF INTESTINAL FORTITUDE
AS HE HEADS ON TO THE NEXT OBSTACLE, THE SINISTAIRS.
COACH MICHAEL, WORKING ON A GAME PLAN.
OH, LOOK AT THAT.
HE JUMPS FOR THE SECOND STEP, AND A LITTLE TOO AMBITIOUS.
(grunts)
BUT HE'S GOT TO AVOID MISTAKES LIKE THAT
THAT'LL MAKE IT SECOND DOWN ON THE SINISTAIRS.
(grunts)
MAKES IT THIS TIME, KEEPING AN EYE OUT
WE'RE ALMOST 6 MINUTES IN NOW.
(whack)
OOH, TAKES A SHOT FROM THE SWEEPER ARM,
STANDING TWO STORIES UP,
IT'S JUST A SHORT HOP TO THAT PLATFORM,
(grunts)
AND THE WIPEOUT ZONE REALLY TAKING ITS TOLL ON THE COACH.
HE'S NOT EVEN GETTING TO HIS FEET AS HE MAKES HIS WAY
COACH CLOSING IN NOW ON 6 AND A HALF MINUTES.
(grunts)
MICHAEL EXPRESSING A LITTLE FRUSTRATION THERE.
CAN'T OVERPOWER THE CRANKSHAFT, JOHNNY. TIMING'S EVERYTHING.
OH, NO! LEAPING IS NEVER A GOOD IDEA, JOHN.
(grunts)
LISTEN TO HIS DISMAY AS HE IS TOSSED ASIDE.
(grunts)
YEAH, MAY HAVE COST HIM SOME TIME, BUT AT LEAST HE GOT IN
ANOTHER ONE OF HIS PATENTED SPIRAL WIPEOUTS.
TIME TICKING AWAY. HE HAS ABOUT THREE MINUTES LEFT TO--
OH! PERFECTLY WRONG.
HE IS BACK INTO THE WATER AGAIN.
THE CRANKSHAFT JUST TAKING THE COACH FOR A RIDE,
WOW. THESE BRUTAL WIPEOUTS ARE REALLY COSTLY.
LESS THAN A MINUTE ON THE CLOCK.
MICHAEL HAVING A HARD TIME GETTING BACK UP NOW
THERE HE GOES. SEEMS TO BE TIMING IT CORRECTLY.
30 SECONDS LEFT FOR MICHAEL. NOW IT'S THE BLADES OF FURY.
COME ON. YOU'RE KILLING ME, GUYS.
WE'RE NOT KIDDING YOU, AND WE'RE NOT SLOWING IT DOWN.
JOHNNY, THIS IS CRUNCH TIME. MICHAEL HAS ABOUT 20 SECONDS
IF HE WANTS THAT MONEY.
WILD WILL MADE IT THROUGH THE *** TOTTER IN A FLASH.
IF COACH DOES THE SAME, HE WILL BE OUR LEADER.
(grunts)
OH! BUT THE COACH IS DOWN.
UNBELIEVABLE. SO CLOSE TO VICTORY,
(air horn blows)
THE HORN HAS SOUNDED, AND THAT MEANS MICHAEL'S DAY IS DONE.
WELL, THAT IS TWO DOWN, TWO LEFT TO GO
AS WILD WILL WEST HOLDS DOWN THE LEADER'S POSITION.
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'LL SEE CHARLIE "DR. DISCO" GRAY
AND THE BALD EAGLE SCOUT-- RUSSELL SMITH.
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
WELCOME BACK. WE ARE HALFWAY THROUGH THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
TWO HAVE ALREADY GONE THROUGH THE COURSE,
THAT'S RIGHT,
BUT WE STILL HAVE TWO CONTESTANTS LEFT TO COMPETE.
THEY'RE READY TO TAKE ON OUR CURRENT LEADER,
THE FIRST TO CHALLENGE IS CHARLIE "DR. DISCO" GRAY.
LET'S SEE HOW HE BOOGIE-OOGIE-OOGIED TO THE ZONE.
JOHN, THAT'S NOT DR. DISCO.
I KNOW, I KNOW. IT WAS AWESOME. ALL RIGHT, BACK TO CHARLIE GRAY,
(screams)
HE COULD'VE USED SOME PAINKILLERS ON THE DOUBLE CROSS,
(grunts)
WHOO-HOO!
AT THE TOP OF THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
CAN DR. DISCO BEAT THE TIME OF 12:50 SET BY WILL WEST?
(beeping, lasers firing)
THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT,
(screams)
WHOA! LOOK AT THAT DISTANCE. THAT IS A TAPE MEASURE SHOT.
HE TAKES A MIGHTY LEAP OUT OF THE DREADMILL LAUNCH
AND CATCHES SOME SERIOUS AIR.
CHARLIE IMMEDIATELY ON TO THE SECOND OBSTACLE,
THE GUT BUSTERS.
AND HE IS HUSTLING ACROSS THOSE BLOCKS, JOHN.
VERY SLIPPERY. ONE WRONG STEP AND YOU ARE BACK IN THE WATER.
HE'S ALREADY ON TO THE HIGHEST BLOCK.
NOW THE DESCENT ON TO THE FINAL TWO.
HE'S GONNA BETTER THE GUT BUSTERS.
(grunts)
OH, WHAT A NIGHT FOR DR. DISCO.
HE IS JUST CRUISING THROUGH THIS COURSE.
DR. DISCO DOES A BIT OF THE ELECTRIC SLIDE
AND THESE SPIRAL STAIRCASES OF DOOM...
HAVE ALREADY TAKEN THEIR TOLL ON OUR CONTESTANTS TONIGHT.
RIGHT UP ONTO THAT FIRST STEP, MAKES THE SECOND WITH EASE.
CRAWLING UP TO THE THIRD--
BETTER WATCH OUT FOR THAT SWEEPER ARM, JOHNNY.
SO FAR HIS PACE IS WAY AHEAD OF OUR FIRST TWO CONTESTANTS.
WOW, AND HE IS UP TO THE TOP ALREADY.
CHARLIE THE ONLY PERSON TODAY NOT TO WIPE OUT
ON THIS OBSTACLE.
TWO MINUTES IN--DR. DISCO CLEAN THROUGH OUR COURSE
AND AT THE GAUNTLET. WAY TO HUSTLE.
HE'D BETTER HAVE SAVED UP SOME ENERGY,
BECAUSE THIS JUST MIGHT BE THE HARDEST PART.
BUT I THINK WE MIGHT BE LOOKING AT A PERFECT RUN HERE.
(grunts)
NOW THE BLADES OF FURY, AND HE STROLLS THROUGH THOSE AS WELL.
HE'S GOT THE WINGS OF HEAVEN ON HIS SHOES.
FINALLY, IT'S THE *** TOTTER,
(laughs) OH! THE DOCTOR IS OUT.
BUMMER. THIS IS THE FIRST WIPEOUT FOR DR. DISCO.
A BLEMISH ON AN OTHERWISE PERFECT RUN
THROUGH THE WIPEOUT ZONE. DR. DISCO TIMED THIS
PERFECTLY ONCE, SO IT SHOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM THE SECOND TIME.
OH!
OHH!
DR. DISCO TAKEN FOR A RIDE ON THE CRANKSHAFT.
YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT HE HAD A BEAD ON THIS OBSTACLE
COULD THE WHEELS BE FALLING OFF HIS SEEMINGLY PERFECT RUN
DESPITE THE SPILLS, HE STILL HAS MORE THAN SIX MINUTES
TO COMPLETE THE GAUNTLET, REPEATING HIS PERFORMANCE
FROM THE FIRST TIME THROUGH THE CRANKSHAFT.
AT THE BLADES OF FURY. EASILY THROUGH BOTH SETS OF THOSE.
NOW THE ***-TOTTER. THIS GAVE HIM TROUBLE
HE'S GOT A GOOD TIME CUSHION HERE.
(grunting)
OH! HOLDING ON THE BEST HE CAN.
(laughs) THE *** TOTTER HANDING OUT A BEATING
AND DOING ITS BEST TO THROW HIM IN THE WATER.
(grunts)
WHOO!
OHH. IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?
BETTER QUESTION-- CAN DR. DISCO'S TIME
(screeches) CAW! READY TO FLY!
RUSSELL "THE BALD EAGLE SCOUT" SMITH
AAH!
AFTER A SECOND-PLACE FINISH ON THE DOUBLE CROSS,
WHAT THE... (grunts)
THE TIME TO BEAT--6 MINUTES, 54 SECONDS, SET BY DR. DISCO.
TIME TO SEE IF THE BALD EAGLE SCOUT
(beeping)
AND HERE WE GO.
MM-HMM.
WHOA!
HE PRACTICALLY PUT HIMSELF ON TOP OF THE GUT BUSTERS.
A SPECTACULAR FLIGHT, REALLY LAUNCHES INTO THE AIR...
FLYING LIKE AN EAGLE TOWARDS THE GUT BUSTERS.
RUSSELL ATTACKING OUR SIX BLOCKS RIGHT AWAY.
HE'S ACTUALLY AHEAD OF DR. DISCO'S TIME,
BUT HE'S STILL GONNA NEED A NEARLY PERFECT RUN
HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE THERE, BOUNCING UP AND DOWN.
ON TOP OF THE BLOCKS, STILL STRUGGLING.
OH, THAT DOES NOT FEEL GOOD.
IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO FEEL GOOD.
(laughs)
WHEW.
AND NOW HE'S ON TO THE NEXT OBSTACLE.
OH, GOD.
A MINUTE AND 26 SECONDS-- STILL AHEAD OF THE PACE
SET BY DR. DISCO, BUT HE DECIDES TO SIT DOWN.
THAT'S NOT A TIME-SAVING STRATEGY.
(grunts)
DR. DISCO WAS PERFECT MOVING UP THESE STAIRS,
HE'S CLIMBING HIS WAY UP.
CHARLIE--DR. DISCO-- LOOKING ON INTENTLY.
(whack)
OH, THE SWEEPER ARM GOT HIM.
WATCH AGAIN AS THE SWEEPER ARM
AAH! AAH!
RUSSELL SET FOR ANOTHER ATTEMPT
ON THE SINISTAIRS. 5 MINUTES, 50 SECONDS IN.
(grunting)
HE'S MAKING HIS WAY UP THE SINISTAIRS NOW,
ALREADY AT THE TOP. NOW HE HAS TO MAKE THE LEAP
ONTO THE PLATFORM.
WELL DONE THERE. THE CLOCK, THOUGH, STILL TICKING.
CAN HE BEAT DR. DISCO?
RUSSELL REALLY NEEDING TO DIG DEEP HERE.
YEAH, HE IS LOOKING EXTREMELY TIRED, JOHNNY,
BUT HE'S GOT NO QUIT IN HIM.
THIS GUY'S GOT A LOT OF FIGHT LEFT.
BUT HE'S GONNA HAVE TO BE PERFECT FROM HERE ON OUT
NOW AT THE BLADES OF FURY.
OHH!
OH, NO! HE'S DOWN-- A HUGE HIT, JOHNNY--
YEP. RUSSELL NAILED BY THAT BLADE,
AND THAT MEANS HIS DAY IS DONE.
(air horn blows)
THANK YOU!
YOU WON $50,000!
WHOO!
OH!
CONGRATULATIONS, DR. DISCO.
WHOO!
WELL, THAT'S GONNA DO IT FOR US HERE ON "WIPE--"
HAD THIS IN MY LOCKER.
WHAT ARE THE ODDS, HUH? BE SURE TO TUNE IN NEXT WEEK
WHEN WE HAVE 24 NEW CONTESTANTS, A WHOLE LOT OF NEW OBSTACLES
AND, OF COURSE, LOTS MORE WIPEOUTS.
AND FOR OUR COLLEAGUE JILL WAGNER,
I'M JOHN HENSON SAYING GOOD NIGHT AND BIG DISCO BALLS.
AAH!
OHH!
WHOO!
(grunts)
(man grunts)
(screams)
(clank)
♪♪♪
WHOO! AAH!
(screams)
(clank)
(screams)
(grunts)
HI, MOM!