Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
[LAUGHTER]
-Yo, I'm in the jacuzzi, hang on.
Keep that lit for me, take my *** shades.
Wear 'em if you want.
-So what'd the IRS say?
-Three years in prison.
-You haven't paid taxes since '94, Donnie.
-What are we talking about?
50, 60 bucks?
-$43,000.
-*** no!
-You've got to come up with a way to get this money.
-Holy cow, that's my boy.
He moved out when he turned 18.
I haven't seen him since.
-He's one of the youngest hedge fund managers in the
financial industry.
-Maybe your son could help you.
-Todd, your old man is here?
-Wazzup!
-What are you doing here?
-What type of guy would miss his son's wedding?
-You were basically the worst parent ever.
-I was awesome!
-You know what I remember?
Is me having to drive you home from the beach that time
because you were too drunk.
-Somebody's hammered, they have another guy drive home.
-I was 8!
-Yeah, you *** drove like a champ, too.
Eh?
Give me another chance.
Get to know me a little bit.
-You guys have fun at the bachelor party.
-Woo-woo, ***.
Last night of ***-tang for this kid.
What the *** is this?
-It's water infused with cucumber, rose petal, and
harvest sandlewood.
-It tastes like *** *** infused with balls.
We can't let tonight end like this.
-I can stay out a little later.
-Bam!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[LAUGHTER]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
-I don't want to do that in front of my kids.
Turn around for a minute.
Just turn around.
Give me that *** ***.
-Don't forget you're going to go to prison on Tuesday.
You have got to get that money.
-Actually just trying to be a dad right now.
-Get the cake.
No walnuts, no *** excuses, Todd.
-Buddy, you gotta like, stick up for yourself.
That's my boy!
-Ever since you showed up, Todd's been acting like a
different person.
-I promise you I'll never forget you again.
-You got me a gift?
An earring.
But I don't have a pierced ear.
-Yeah.
-[SCREAM]
Oh got it.
-Am I bleeding?
-I don't think so.
-[SCREAM]
Oh god, ahhh.
I just found my wedding dress covered in barf-- and
something else.
You puked on my dress and then *** it.
-[LAUGH]
You're a madman.
[MUSIC PLAYING]