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HONEY...
I'M HOME.
IT'S TIME TO LEARN ABOUT SCIENCE
ON ASK MISTER LIZARD.
HI, KIDS.
HI, MR. LIZARD.
HI, MR. LIZARD. WHAT ARE WE LEARNING TODAY?
TIMMY, WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF WE MIXED POTASSIUM NITRATE,
OOH.
CHARCOAL, AND SULFUR?
GEE, MR. LIZARD, I DON'T KNOW.
WE'RE GOING TO NEED ANOTHER TIMMY.
GEE, MR. LIZARD, NOTHING'S HAPPENING.
WELL, MAYBE WE NEED TO PUT SOME LIGHT ON THE SUBJECT.
WE'RE GOING TO NEED ANOTHER TIMMY.
[BOOM]
SAY IT.
WE'RE GOING TO NEED ANOTHER TIMMY.
YAY!
COOL.
FINISHED YOUR CEREAL?
NO CEREAL. JUICE.
FIRST CEREAL, THEN JUICE.
THEN CEREAL?
WE'LL SEE.
AH...
JUICE!
[YELLING]
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
HERE YOU GO.
WOULD ONE OF YOU WATCH YOUR BROTHER WHILE I'M UPSTAIRS?
HIS TURN.
I WATCHED HIM YESTERDAY.
THANK YOU BOTH SO MUCH.
MAKE HIM EAT HIS CEREAL.
OK.
YEAH.
RIGHT.
[SIGHS]
GOT TO LOVE ME.
UGH...
YOU CLEAN IT UP!
NO, YOU CLEAN IT.
I GOT TO GO UPSTAIRS!
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
BROTHER! SISTER! I'M ALL ALONE!
MWA HA HA HA HA HA!
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
ICE CREAM!
YEAH, YEAH!
KID WANTS ICE CREAM. TAKE IT.
AHA.
COOKIES!
COOKIES! COOKIES! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!
CAKE! CANDY! FROZEN YOGURT!
COME ON! KEEP IT COMING!
MORE, MORE, MORE! BON BONS!
JELLY BEANS!
JELLY BEANS.
OOH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
MORE, MORE! KEEP GOING! KEEP IT COMING! YES, YES!
GO! GO! GO! GO!
[LAUGHTER]
ALL RIGHT! YAY! ALL RIGHT!
[YAWNING]
MORNING, KIDS. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WATCHING THE BABY.
ME, TOO.
NICE TO SEE YOU'RE ACCEPTING MORE RESPONSIBILITY.
FRANNY, WHERE'D ALL THE SUGAR GO?
WHEE!
HUH?
NAH.
FRAN, I'M CALLING YOU.
YAHOO!
WHAT WAS THAT?
WHOA.
YOU MADE ALL THIS MESS?
I'M VIBRATING!
I'M NOT CLEANING THIS UP.
[GASP]
EARL!
DON'T EARL ME. I JUST PASS THROUGH GOING TO WORK.
I WAS UPSTAIRS WITH ROBBIE AND CHARLENE'S LAUNDRY.
I CAN'T HANDLE ALL THREE KIDS ALL THE TIME.
I SAID TWO KIDS, BUT NO.
NOW THERE'S THREE OF THEM AND TWO OF US.
WE LOST. 3-2.
IT'S OUR FAMILY YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
I WAS PREPARED FOR CHILD ONE AND CHILD TWO.
WE PLANNED THEM, THEY ARRIVED,
AND THE FAMILY WAS COMPLETE,
BUT NO.
[IMITATING TRAIN]
ARRIVING ON TRACK NUMBER THREE--
AAH!
WHOO WHOO!
ABSOLUTELY WITHOUT WARNING.
CHUGGA, CHUGGA, CHUGGA, CHUGGA, CHUGGA,
CHUGGA, CHUGGA, CHUGGA, CHUGGA, CHUGGA,
WHOO WHOO!
CHUGGA, CHUGGA, WHOO WHOO!
I'M THE BABY. GOT TO LOVE ME.
I'M THE DADDY. GOT TO WORK. HOW ABOUT A KISS?
AW, YOUR DADDY NEEDS TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU
SO HE CAN GET TO KNOW EVERY BIT OF YOU LIKE I DO.
MY BUMP.
WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?
I DON'T UNDERSTAND. IT STARTED OUT A LITTLE BUMP.
WHAT IS IT?
IN MY PROFESSIONAL OPINION?
A LONG, GOLD BONY THING WITH A POINT.
OF COURSE, WE HAVEN'T DONE ANY TESTS YET.
IT'S LIKE A HORN.
YES, IN A WAY.
LET ME SEE! WHERE?
HOW DID IT HAPPEN?
JUDGING FROM ITS SIZE AND COLOR,
MMM...I HAVE NO IDEA.
HE ATE A LOT OF SUGAR THIS MORNING.
SO DID I, BUT I DON'T LOOK LIKE A FREAK.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU.
DOCTOR, WAIT.
YOU WON'T TELL ANYONE, WILL YOU?
OH, PLEASE, I'M A DOCTOR.
PATIENT CONFIDENTIALITY
ABSOLUTELY PROHIBITS ME FROM TELLING ANYBODY
ABOUT THINGS LIKE THAT.
EARL, HOW'S THE LITTLE FREAK?
NOW YOU GOT A SON AND A HATRACK.
ALL RIGHT, VERY FUNNY, VERY FUNNY.
LET'S ALL HAVE A LAUGH
AT MY FAMILY'S PAIN AND SUFFERING.
SORRY, THERE.
NO OFFENSE.
GLAD IT DIDN'T HAPPEN TO ME.
TOUCHY GUY.
OK, BEST BUDDY IN THE WORLD,
HAVE YOU AN AMUSING REMARK ABOUT MY SON'S AFFLICTION?
HEY, HEY, WOULD I NEVER, PALLY-BOY.
I DON'T OFTEN TELL PEOPLE THIS,
BUT THERE WAS A TIME WHEN I HAD SHORT LITTLE STUBBY ARMS.
YEAH, I DID.
ROY, YOU'RE A TYRANNOSAURUS.
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
NOTHING.
ALL I KNOW IS LIFE WASN'T AS DIFFICULT
WHEN I ONLY HAD TWO KIDS.
IS THAT TERRIBLE TO SAY?
WHY DO I ALWAYS GET PICKED LAST FOR THE BOWLING TEAM?
[WHISTLES]
OH.
AH.
YEAH.
CHARLENE!
YOU SAID PLAY WITH HIM.
[SIGHS]
I WANT THAT THING OFF HIM.
WHATEVER IT TAKES, JUST DO IT.
HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
SAW IT OFF, FRAN, RIGHT NOW.
WE'RE NOT SAWING OFF PART OF HIS HEAD.
BUT I'M GETTING TEASED AT WORK.
THAT'S NOT A GOOD REASON.
THIS, HOWEVER, IS A GOOD REASON.
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?
SOME DINOSAUR IN A BLACK CLOAK.
OH, NO!
WHAT, DAD?
IT'S THE OFFICIAL SCROLL
WITH THE OFFICIAL RED RIBBON.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
IT MEANS...
I'VE BEEN SUMMONED, HAVEN'T I?
"THE COUNCIL OF ELDERS, MEETING IN THE CAVE OF DESTINY,
"DEEP WITHIN THE MOUNTAIN OF TERROR,
"HALF A BLOCK SOUTH OF MORT'S BIG AND TALL
HEREBY SUMMONS EARL SINCLAIR..."
WHAT HAVE I DONE?
"AND HIS INFANT SON."
I KNEW IT.
"NOTHING BUT TROUBLE," I SAID.
"HE'S SUCH A SWEET THING," YOU SAID.
WELL...WELL...
THIS!
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL ABOUT THIS CAVE OF OLD GUYS?
TERROR. HORROR. NO ONE EVER COMES BACK.
THEY ONCE MADE A GUY BITE OFF HIS OWN HEAD.
EARL, CALM DOWN.
ALL THESE TALES OF THIS MYSTICAL MUMBO JUMBO
ARE JUST SILLY RUMORS.
HIYA.
SILENCE!
ARE YOU THE FATHER OF THIS HORNED CHILD?
UM, UH...UH...UH...
OH, GEEZ.
YEAH, I AM.
PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME BITE OFF MY OWN HEAD.
I PRACTICED IN THE LOBBY. IT WASN'T HAPPENING.
SILENCE!
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE
OF THE GOLDEN HORN?
UH...NO...
BUT I COULD CHEW OFF MY FOOT IF YOU WANT.
BEHOLD THE SACRED BOOK OF DINOSAUR--
THE WISDOM OF AGES HANDED DOWN
FROM THE BEGINNING OF TIME.
"THERE SHALL COME A CHILD
"WITH A GOLDEN HORN,
AND HE SHALL BE KING OF THE DINOSAURS."
KING?
"HE SHALL BE BORN OF A NOBLE MOTHER.
HIS FATHER SHALL BE COURAGEOUS AND WISE."
YA HA. YA HA HA HA.
GIVE ME THE WHITE OUT.
"FATHER SHALL BE A BLITHERING IDIOT."
CAN HE DO THAT?
"THIS CHILD SHALL BE REVERED
FROM NEAR AND FAR."
JUNIOR, YOU HEAR THAT?
GOT TO GO.
NO! NO!
"FROM HIS MOUTH SHALL RING OUT ONLY THE PUREST TRUTH."
GOT TO GO.
JUNIOR, HOLD IT IN.
BEHOLD THE KING OF THE DINOSAURS!
BEHOLD HIS BROW IS KNIT WITH WISDOM!
ARE YOU GUYS REALLY SERIOUS?
BEHOLD HE IS ABOUT TO SPEAK!
I MADE A BIG POOP.
OH!
OH!
AH! AH!
AH!
HERE IS HOWARD HANDUPME.
GOOD EVENING.
AS PROPHESIED IN THE BOOK OF DINOSAUR,
A CHILD WITH A GOLDEN HORN HAS BEEN DECLARED KING.
THIS WAS THE SCENE YESTERDAY AT THE CAVE OF DESTINY.
BEHOLD THE KING!
NO NAP.
TODAY THE KING HOLDS COURT AT HIS HOME
AS THOUSANDS FLOCK TO SEE THE INFANT SOVEREIGN AND TOUCH THE SACRED HORN.
FATHER OF THE KING COMING THROUGH!
ALL RIGHT, BACK. WAIT YOUR TURN.
PEASANTS.
THERE HE IS.
HOW'S DADDY'S LITTLE MONARCH?
WANT TO GO NIGHT-NIGHT.
OH, HEAVY IS THE HEAD THAT WEARS THE CROWN.
IT'S TIME FOR HIS NAP.
NONSENSE, WIFE-OF-THE-FATHER- OF-THE-KING.
THE PROBLEMS OF STATE NEVER NAP.
OUR LITTLE POTENTATE HAS SUBJECTS TO RECEIVE,
DISPUTES TO SETTLE,
ATHLETIC GEAR TO ENDORSE.
PRINCE ROBERT?
YEAH, DAD?
PRINCESS CHARLENE COULD USE HELP
GRANTING ADMITTANCE TO THOSE COMMONERS
WHO SEEK AN AUDIENCE WITH THEIR KING.
I'M NOT BOWING TO MY BROTHER
BECAUSE OF SOME HORN GROWING FROM HIS HEAD.
THOSE DINOSAURS OUTSIDE ARE JUST SHEEP.
HAVE YOU NOTICED SOME OF THOSE SHEEP ARE CHEERLEADERS?
YOUR MAJESTY. YES.
IT'S MR. TURTLEPUSS AND THE GUYS FROM WORK.
UH, HI THERE, EARL.
WE'VE COME TO PAY HOMAGE TO THE KING.
LOOKY WHO'S HERE-- THREE WISE GUYS
COME TO MAKE HUMOROUS AFFLICTION REMARKS ABOUT MY SON
THE ROYAL HATRACK.
WELL, WE BROUGHT GIFTS.
YEAH?
SPICES FROM THE NORTH.
SILK FROM THE EAST.
ONE OF THOSE BIG PLASTIC FIRE TRUCKS WITH LADDERS
AND HOSES THAT SQUIRT.
GIMME.
I'M NOT SURE YOUR TRANSPARENT GENEROSITY
IS ACCEPTABLE.
YES, IT IS.
UH, EARL, WE'RE SORRY ABOUT WHAT WE SAID.
WE DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING.
HOW COULD WE KNOW THE KID WAS SPECIAL?
I KNEW. I ALWAYS KNEW.
I KNEW FROM THE DAY THIS KID WAS HATCHED
I WAS THE FATHER OF A VERY SPECIAL TREASURE.
WHAT?
GEEZ.
THOSE KINGS ON A STICK WENT LIKE CRAZY.
LOOK AT THIS FLOOR.
EVERYONE IN PANGAEA TROOPED THROUGH HERE.
A MONARCH'S WORK IS NEVER DONE.
IT STILL ISN'T, DAD.
THERE'S ONE MORE LOYAL SUBJECT HERE.
UH, HEY THERE, PALLY-BOY.
ROY, COME ON IN. GLAD TO SEE YOU.
COME TO HAVE A BEER AND SHOOT THE BREEZE?
ACTUALLY, I WANTED TO TALK TO THE KING
IF IT'S OK, EARL.
UNCLE ROY!
SURE. STEP RIGHT UP.
YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND OF THE COURT--
THE BEST FRIEND.
NOT TO OVERSTEP MY BOUNDS, BUT COULD I SPEAK TO THE KING ALONE?
SURE. I GUESS, IF YOU WANT TO.
I'LL JUST GO OVER HERE.
UH...
YOUR HIGHNESS...
UNCLE ROY.
UH, AS I UNDERSTAND IT, NOW THAT YOU'RE THE KING,
WELL, YOU MAY HAVE SOME KIND OF MYSTICAL POWERS
OF A SUPERNATURAL NATURE.
HI, UNCLE ROY.
YEAH, HI.
I WAS HOPING YOU COULD SEE YOUR WAY CLEAR
TO GRANT ME A WISH.
JUICE?
THANKS, NO.
I REALIZE I'M A TYRANNOSAURUS,
AND AS A TYRANNOSAURUS, I USE MY MASSIVE JAWS
TO TEAR STUFF LIMB FROM LIMB,
BUT...I...WELL...
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I ALWAYS WANTED TO PLAY THE PIANO...
EAT WITH A FORK, GET PICKED FIRST FOR THE BOWLING TEAM.
WANT A FIRE TRUCK?
NO, I WANT LONGER ARMS.
CAN YOU DO THAT FOR ME?
FUNNY ARMS.
YEAH, I KNOW.
LIKE 'EM.
YOU DO?
LIKE YOU.
YOU DO?
MMM.
SO I'M JUST BEING STUPID?
STUPID.
YEAH, I GUESS I AM.
UNCLE ROY?
YEAH?
[KISS]
HEY, YOU GOT A GREAT KING THERE, PALLY-BOY.
YEAH, THANKS, ROY OLD BUDDY.
YEAH.
I GOT A GREAT KID.
YI!
I'VE COME FOR THE CHILD.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
THE KING MUST JOIN US IN THE CAVE OF DESTINY.
WE CAN TRAIN HIM TO BE A RULER.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK MY HUSBAND AND I
WILL LET YOU TAKE OUR BABY?
SHH.
"HE WHO DEFIES THE ELDERS
"SHALL BE THROWN INTO THE PIT OF DESPAIR
"AND SUFFER AN ETERNITY OF UNSPEAKABLE TORMENT
ROASTING IN THE UNRELENTING FIRES OF ABSOLUTE MISERY."
BYE.
GOOD DINNER.
DON'T START.
WHAT?
CHARLENE, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
YOUR MOTHER JUST HASN'T COME TO TERMS WITH THE FACT
THAT YOUR LITTLE BROTHER IS NOT HERE ANYMORE.
OH, I UNDERSTAND.
GOOD.
ROBBIE.
HMM? OH.
NOT THE MOTHER! NOT THE MOTHER!
[SIGHS]
NO, THAT'S NOT IT AT ALL.
IT'S THE WRONG POT.
IT DOESN'T MATTER. IT COULD NEVER BE THE SAME.
FORGET IT.
SHOULD I THROW SOME FOOD?
THAT'S SWEET, BUT IT WON'T CHANGE THE FACT
THAT...THAT... MY BABY IS GONE!
[SOBBING]
THEY TOOK HIM AWAY TO A BEAUTIFUL PLACE
AND A WONDERFUL LIFE WHERE HE'LL GET EVERYTHING
HE COULD EVER NEED.
AW, DAD.
AND I'M NOT GOING TO BE THE ONE WHO GIVES IT TO HIM.
ROBBIE, CHARLENE, COULD YOU GIVE US A MOMENT, PLEASE?
SURE.
YEAH.
I'LL PRACTICE ON CHARLENE.
IT'S ALL MY FAULT, FRAN.
I SAID WE SHOULDN'T HAVE A THIRD KID,
THAT WE SHOULD STOP AT TWO.
I HAVE BEEN SO FOOLISH.
IF YOU WANT A THIRD CHILD AGAIN,
THERE'S ONLY ONE THING TO DO.
AW, GEEZ, FRAN, I'M NOT IN THE MOOD.
OF COURSE I COULD GET IN THE MOOD.
COUPLE OF COCKTAILS, RUB MY BACK...
GO GET OUR SON AND BRING HIM BACK.
ALL RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'M GOING TO GET MY SON BACK.
I'M GOING TO GET HIM NOW.
NUMBER 4,077.
UH...UH...
ALL I WANT TO DO IS ADD A SECOND STORY TO MY GARAGE,
BUT IT'S ZONED R1, SO I NEED 10 EXTRA FEET
FOR MY PROPERTY LINE.
SO I WAS WONDERING
COULD YOU GRANT ME A VARIANCE?
KISS THE DOLL.
OH, SURE.
THE VARIANCE IS GRANTED.
TOUCH THE HORN AND GO.
THANK YOU.
OH, THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
MY CONTRACTOR WILL BE SO THRILLED.
4,078.
GIVE ME A WHITEFISH.
WHAT?
ISN'T THIS THE CAVE DELI?
IT'S THE CAVE OF DESTINY.
I'VE BEEN HERE 16 HOURS.
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
I JUST WANTED SOME FISH.
4,079.
THAT'S ME.
APPROACH THE KING, STATE YOUR CASE.
YOU HAVE THREE MINUTES.
I KNOW YOU!
HE REMEMBERS ME!
NOT THE MAMA!
NOBODY ELSE DOES IT LIKE HIM.
TWO MINUTES.
OH! UH...
I CAME HERE TO TAKE YOU HOME.
THE GUARD WITH THE MACHINE GUN SAID NO, SON.
NOT YOUR SON. HE'S THE KING.
YOU HAVE ONE MINUTE.
OH...
I GUESS I DIDN'T TREAT YOU MUCH LIKE A KING.
YOU WERE NEW. YOU WERE MY THIRD CHILD.
I SHOULD HAVE SPENT MORE TIME WITH YOU.
THEN YOU BECAME KING AND THEY TOOK YOU AWAY.
NOW IT'S TOO LATE.
BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW
EVEN THOUGH ALL THESE GUYS THINK YOU'RE THE KING
'CAUSE YOU GOT THAT HORN,
YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MY SON.
YOUR TIME IS UP.
TOUCH THE HORN AND BEGONE.
[GASP]
SON! THE HORN! IT'S FALLING OFF!
YOU NEED THE HORN TO BE THE KING.
WITHOUT THE HORN, YOU'LL JUST BE MY SON.
DADDY.
OHH...
HERE IS HOWARD HANDUPME.
THOUSANDS ARE STUNNED AS TODAY THE GOLDEN HORN
OF THE SINCLAIR BABY FALLS OFF SUDDENLY.
THE HORN, FIRST THOUGHT A PORTENT OF THE NEW GENERATION
FOR ALL DINOSAUR CIVILIZATION
IS NOW BELIEVED TO BE JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS.
GEE, MR. LIZARD, WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH THE NITROGLYCERIN?
WE'RE GOING TO NEED ANOTHER TIMMY.
WELL, YOU JUST POUR IT INTO THE BLENDER THERE
WHILE I GET BEHIND THIS LEAD SHIELD.
OK.
SAY IT.
[BOOM]
WE'RE GOING TO NEED ANOTHER TIMMY.
YAY!