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♪♪♪
(buzzer sounds)
(catcalls and whistling)
(buzzer sounds)
HEY. YOU WANT TO LOSE THE FEW TEETH YOU HAVE LEFT, CARLOS?
HEY, WOLF. NO, NO, NO, NO. IT'S OKAY.
YEAH, DADDY. I HEAR WHISTLES ALL THE TIME.
THAT'S THE SOUND OF WIND PASSING THROUGH YOUR BRAIN.
YOU KNOW WHAT? YOUR DAD NEVER GETS TO SEE YOU GUYS.
AW. HE'S IN PRISON. HE'S NOT INSANE.
HERE IS THE LATEST FROM YOUR FAVORITE MYSTERY WRITER.
AND HERE'S THESE MAGAZINES YOU SAID YOU WANTED--
LIKE THE NEWS AND SPORTS AND ALL THAT JUNK.
WHICH ONE HAS THE VICTORIA'S SECRET CATALOG
(chuckles) THOSE MODELS HAVE NOTHING ON MY GIRLS.
YOU GUYS ALL LOOK FANTASTIC.
NEXT TIME, WEAR COATS.
WOLF, I'VE WORN THIS A THOUSAND TIMES.
THAT'S BECAUSE I WAS STANDING NEXT TO YOU
WHEN YOU WERE WEARING IT.
OH, I WISH. SHE'S DRAGGING US WITH HER
TO GO TO ALAN AND LEXY'S "I BEAT CANCER" PARTY.
ALAN AND LEXY'S? I THOUGHT YOU SAID THAT YOU WEREN'T GOING.
WELL, I DID, BUT I CHANGED MY MIND.
LEXY'S BEEN THROUGH A LOT, AND SHE COULD USE A LIFT.
MM.
THERE ARE TIMES THAT I NEED AN ADULT TO TALK TO.
CRAZY?
FORGET IT. I'D RATHER SEE YOU IN THIS
DON'T WORRY.
YOUR CHECKOUT GIRL'S CHECKED OUT. I CLEARED MY NAME
AND I TOLD MY BOSS WHAT HE COULD DO WITH HIS TOILET PAPER.
THERE'S ALWAYS THE STORE, YOU KNOW.
WOLF, IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN. NOW LISTEN, I'M SORRY,
BUT THIS IS GONNA HAVE TO BE A SHORT VISIT. WE GOTTA GO.
SAY GOOD-BYE TO YOUR DADDY.
OHH.
OH. (kisses)
BYE, DAD.
(chuckles)
AND, UH, SEND LEXY AND ALAN MY LOVE.
JUST DON'T GIVE TOO MUCH TO ALAN.
(Hope) AND ON THAT NOTE...
DOWN, BOY. (chuckles)
(buzzer sounds, door beeps)
(indistinct conversations)
HI.
HI.
WE WERE STARTING TO FORGET WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.
HEY. YEAH, IT DOES GET A TAD HECTIC
WITH, UH, MY HUSBAND DOING FIVE IN THE CAN.
SORRY. SOMETIMES I FORGET
BUT HOW ABOUT YOU TWO?
CAN YOU BELIEVE HE'S NOT GOING?
YOU'RE SENDING YOUR WIFE
TO THE MOST ROMANTIC CITY IN THE WORLD ALONE?
I'M UP TO MY *** IN ALLIGATORS,
BUT I REALLY WANT LEXY TO ENJOY HERSELF.
SHE'S REALLY BEEN THROUGH HELL.
EXCUSE ME. THAT'S MY GERMAN IMPORT GUY.
WOW. TALK ABOUT TRUST.
WOLF GOES BATTY IF I GO TO A PARTY WITHOUT HIM.
YEAH, WELL, YOU'RE LUCKY.
ALAN TRUSTS ME SO MUCH, HE CAN'T WAIT TO SEND ME TO FRANCE.
OH.
OKAY.
MUST BE PRETTY TOUGH ON YOUR MOM THESE DAYS, HUH?
WHAT IS?
YOU KNOW, BEING ALONE, YOU KNOW?
(clears throat)
(cell phone rings)
(ring)
LECHERS ANONYMOUS.
Not important.
HEY. WHY DO YOU GET TO MISS THE PARTY AND I DON'T?
BECAUSE I AM DOING DOUBLE DUTY.
STIERSON'S GOT ME ON A FISHING EXPEDITION.
MEANWHILE I'M TRYING TO WORK ON DAD'S APPEAL.
Oh, they know. They just don't know I'm one of those Wests.
WHY DO YOU NEED TO SPEAK CAHUILLA?
NO ONE UNDERSTANDS A WORD YOU LAWYERS SAY ANYWAY.
WELL, WE'RE REPRESENTING THEM IN A DISCRIMINATION CASE.
MR. STIERSON WANTS ME TO PREPARE A PROPER WELCOME
MM. WHY YOU, O GREAT WHITE CRACKER?
Okay, you remember when I told you
Where they told you they've never seen an applicant
AS BRILLIANT AND ARTICULATE ABOUT THE LAW BEFORE?
YEAH, I MIGHT HAVE LEFT OUT SOME DETAILS.
(man) YOUR C.V. IS MOST IMPRESSIVE.
WE'LL CALL YOU IF THERE'S AN OPENING.
(chuckles)
OKAY. THANKS.
OH, MY MOTHER IS GONNA BE DISAPPOINTED.
HER ENTIRE TRIBE WAS REALLY LOOKING FORWARD
TO HAVING SOMEBODY ON THE INSIDE.
MAYBE NEXT TIME.
EXCUSE ME. YOUR MOTHER IS NATIVE AMERICAN?
CAHUILLA, ACTUALLY.
WEST'S NOT YOUR STANDARD NATIVE AMERICAN NAME.
WELL, I DON'T LIKE TO PLAY THE RACE CARD.
HISTORICALLY SPEAKING, IT HASN'T DONE MUCH FOR OUR PEOPLE.
SO YOUR MOTHER'S MAIDEN NAME IS...
RED... BEAR.
REDBEAR.
HER GRANDFATHER WAS MAULED BY A RED BEAR.
THEY'RE VERY RARE. YOU DON'T SEE THEM AROUND ANYMORE.
Okay, so honest Abe lied his way into his law firm?
Hey, now.
WHO SNUCK YOU INTO THE CASINO KITCHEN WHEN YOU WERE 8
Okay, fine.
(scoffs) I'm a lawyer.
(speaks Native American language)
NEVER CUT CARDS WITH A WOMAN NAMED HOPE.
(beep)
(phone beeps, knock on door)
WORKING ON THE, UH, CAHUILLA TRIBE CASE?
OH, IT MUST FEEL GOOD,
YOU KNOW, DOING SOMETHING FOR "YOUR PEOPLE."
OH, IT DOES. THANKS.
MY PEOPLE--THEY NEED ALL THE HELP THAT THEY CAN GET,
SO ANY LUCK FINDING THE SMOKING GUN
THAT PROVES THE INJUNS' CASE? OOPS. (laughs) SORRY.
WELL, WE INDIANS, WE HAVE TOUGH SKIN.
MAN, IT'S A HIGH-PROFILE CASE STIERSON PUT YOU IN CHARGE OF.
A LOT OF PUBLIC... ITY FOR THE FIRM IF YOU WIN.
I'M NOT, BUT THANK YOU.
I'M JUST SAYING, YOU KNOW,
I WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO BLOW IT.
I WOULD HATE TO SEE YOUR FIRST CASE BE YOUR LAST.
OH, IT WON'T BE. BUT I APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN, HUGH.
OH, HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
UM, MY UNCLE IS A DISTRICT COURT JUDGE,
AND HE JUST PUT AWAY THIS WHITE TRASH THIEF
WITH THE SAME NAME AS YOU.
THAT'S FUNNY.
"WEST" IS A PRETTY COMMON NAME.
NOT VERY NATIVE AMERICAN, THOUGH.
WELL, I'M ONLY HALF.
HALF. I FORGOT.
OKAY.
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? IF YOU NEED ANY HELP, I AM...
JUST DOWN THE HALL.
(indistinct conversations)
UGH. ALAN, QUIT FOLLOWING ME.
IT'S LIKE I'M LEAVING A TRAIL OF BREAD CRUMBS.
WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT LAST NIGHT.
NO. OKAY, IT HAPPENED. IT'S OVER. POOF.
OKAY? JUST GO AWAY SO I CAN TRY TO ENJOY YOUR CANCER PARTY.
SO WE KEEP THIS OUR LITTLE SECRET?
YEAH. WE MADE A DEAL--YOU WON'T TELL, I WON'T TELL. OKAY?
GO FIND YOUR WIFE.
PRETEND YOU'RE HAPPILY MARRIED.
(door closes)
HI.
I KNOW HOW TOUGH IT'S BEEN FOR YOU LATELY.
(clears throat) AND I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW,
IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, I AM HERE FOR YOU.
MM. THAT'S REALLY GOOD TO KNOW, CHARLIE. THANKS A LOT.
COME HERE.
OH, NO. CHARLIE, COME ON.
I MEAN IT. DON'T MAKE ME KICK YOU IN THE NUTS!
(thud)
OH.
COME ON, CHARLIE. YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH.
(guests murmuring indistinctly)
WHY DON'T YOU GO HOME, SOBER UP AND SLEEP IT OFF?
(grunts) I'M NOT DRIVING.
ARE YOU OKAY?
YEAH. IT'S A GOOD THING YOU CAME ALONG
BEFORE I TURNED CHARLIE INTO A SOPRANO.
LOOK, I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT...
I THINK WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO FOR THE KIDS
IS--IS REALLY ADMIRABLE.
THANKS. WOULD YOU TELL MY KIDS THAT?
BECAUSE LATELY THEY'RE CALLING ME "THE HOLY MOTHER,"
AND THEY KNOW I'M NOT A ***.
I TRIED TO GET WOLF TO GO LEGIT FOR YEARS, BUT...
JUST DON'T GIVE UP.
IT'S WORTH IT. NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN POSSIBLE
IF I'D HAVE STAYED IN THE GAME.
WELL, WOLF'S NOT IN THE GAME NOW, SO WE'RE TRYING PLAN "B."
AND RIGHT NOW, PLAN "B" SUCKS.
LISTEN, LINDA, MY OFFICE MANAGER--
SHE MOVED TO SEATTLE A WEEK AGO, AND I WAS THINKING,
I DON'T NEED YOUR CHARITY, ALAN.
AND I'M NOT OFFERING IT.
IT'S EITHER HIRE YOU OR PUT AN AD IN THE PAPER.
I WAS PAYING HER $950 A WEEK, PLUS HEALTH INSURANCE
AND THE JOB'S IN THIS COUNTRY?
CHERYL, THE OFFICE IS IN TOTAL CHAOS.
YOU'D REALLY BE SAVING MY BUTT.
WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR?
HERE'S TO SAVING YOUR BUTT.
AND I'LL HAVE TO TELL MY KIDS
(chuckles)
(clicks mouse)
(knock on door, man clears throat)
LOGAN, I WANT TO PUT HUGH
ON THIS CAHUILLA TRIBE CASE WITH YOU.
BUT YOU HAVE YET TO COME UP WITH ANY EVIDENCE
THAT PROVES THEIR CIVIL RIGHTS WERE VIOLATED.
THIS IS A LANDMARK CASE
THAT IS NOT ONLY LUCRATIVE FOR THIS FIRM,
I UNDERSTAND THAT, SIR. I JUST THINK THAT--
MAYBE WE GAVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE RIGHT OFF THE BAT.
YEAH, I CAN--I CAN DIVE RIGHT IN, MR. STIERSON,
GOOD. I LIKE YOUR INITIATIVE, HUGH.
OH, BY THE WAY,
HOW IS THE CAHUILLA TRIBAL WELCOME COMING?
EXCELLENT. CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR IT.
(woman) THANK YOU SO MUCH.
(people speaking indistinctly in background)
♪♪♪
(indistinct conversations)
(buzzer sounds)
(indistinct conversations continue)
(chuckles) HEY, WOLF.
MAN, YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD.
(chuckles) SO YOU--YOU WANTED TO SEE ME?
OH, I-I HIT IT... (clears throat) ON A DOOR.
IT WAS ACTUALLY PRETTY FUNNY, C-'CAUSE I WAS...
WELL, NEVER MIND. IT'S A LONG STORY.
AND HOW WAS THE PARTY?
THE PARTY? IT WAS GOOD, YOU KNOW.
NO, I-I WOULDN'T KNOW. WHAT ABOUT CHERYL?
DID SHE HAVE A GOOD TIME?
YEAH. YEAH, SHE--SHE SEEMED TO.
WHAT, SHE--SHE SAY ANYTHING?
NOT YET. I CAN'T HELP FEELING,
THOUGH, YOU KNOW, NOW THAT SHE'S ON HER OWN,
SOME *** IS BOUND TO HIT ON HER.
OH, YEAH, BOUND TO.
WHAT--WHAT KIND OF ***?
AN OLD FRIEND, MAYBE.
THE KIND OF PERSON YOU WOULDN'T SUSPECT.
HE'D PRETEND TO BE LOYAL,
WOLF, I WAS--
ALAN HAS ALWAYS HAD A THING FOR HER.
OH, YEAH, ALAN. (chuckles) RIGHT.
NAH, I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN. YOU KNOW, SHE WAS TALKING
REALLY?
AND WHAT WERE THEY TALKING ABOUT?
DOING WHAT?
THAT SON OF A ***.
DO ME A FAVOR.
YOU MEAN SPY ON CHERYL?
WOLF, SHE'S AS FAITHFUL AS A COCKER SPANIEL, MAN.
WELL, ALAN IS A SON OF A *** WHO'S GONNA START SNIFFING
AROUND HER SOONER OR LATER, SO KEEP ME POSTED, OKAY?
(buzzer sounds)
(Hope) COME ON.
YOU CAN DO THIS.
'E' KILL 'ET 'è NISHKA.
IT'S YOUR NAME IN CAHUILLA.
"LITTLE BIG FOOL."
THAT'S VERY FUNNY.
HMM. WELL, YOU DIDN'T TELL ME
I'D BE TEACHING REMEDIAL CAHUILLA.
WELL, DON'T EXPECT TOO MUCH.
IF I DON'T FIND THAT DAMN SMOKING GUN,
CAHUILLA.
CAHUILLA IS.
STIERSON'S GONNA KICK MY BUTT OUTTA HERE.
I LOSE MY JOB. DAD SPENDS FIVE YEARS IN JAIL.
YOU'LL FIND IT.
YOU'RE PROBABLY JUST LOOKING IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES.
I HAVE SCOURED EVERY FILE, EVERY INTERNAL MEMO.
I HAVE SUBPOENAED EVERY INTERNAL E-MAIL.
OKAY, YOU KNOW THOSE SLIMY C.E.O.s.
THEY'RE NOT ABOUT TO LEAVE A PAPER TRAIL.
THEY PROBABLY DO THEIR DIRTIEST WORK OVER MARTINI LUNCHES
AND WRITE THEIR SLIMY C.E.O. SECRETS DOWN ON NAPKINS
OR THE BACK OF RECEIPTS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
RIGHT.
COME ON. ALL RIGHT?
I'M CHARGING BY THE HOUR.
OKAY, OKAY.
SO... 'E' KILL 'ET 'è NISHKA, WHAT DOES IT SAY?
OH, GOD.
(groans)
(man) ANY AVAILABLE SALESMAN TO THE FRONT, PLEASE.
ANY AVAILABLE SALESMAN TO THE FRONT, PLEASE.
WELL, WELL, WELL.
(object clicks)
TUESDAY, 9:45 IN THE A.M.--
MR. DINGUS PLAYS A LITTLE TOUCHY-FEELY
WITH LITTLE MISS LOOKY-LOO.
DOES THIS MEAN THEY'RE SWAPPING SPIT?
DRINKING OUT OF THE SAME BOTTLE? MAKING THE BEAST WITH TWO BACKS?
ONLY TIME WILL TELL.
UH, IT'S RIGHT-- RIGHT AROUND HERE.
(laughs)
I TOLD YOU IT WAS BAD.
BAD? THIS IS WORSE THAN CAL'S ROOM.
WELL...
THEY SAY A JOURNEY OF A LIFETIME BEGINS WITH THE FIRST STEP.
AND THIS COULD TAKE A LIFETIME.
(man) DAN, YOU HAVE A CUSTOMER WAITING.
YOU'VE GOT A CUSTOMER WAITING INSIDE.
MORE LIKE AN ADVANCE.
YOU'RE ALREADY PAYING ME, ALAN.
TAKE IT. I FIGURE THINGS ARE A LITTLE TIGHT RIGHT NOW.
YOU'RE A GOOD MAN, ALAN MARKHAM--MESSY, BUT GOOD.
I'LL DEDUCT THIS OUT OF MY FIRST CHECK.
WOLF REALLY GOT THE CREAM OF THE CROP.
I HOPE HE KNOWS THAT.
ARE YOU FLIRTING WITH ME, ALAN?
'CAUSE IF YOU ARE, I CAN'T TAKE THE JOB OR THE CASH,
AND I NEED BOTH.
JUST ADMIRING AN OLD FRIEND.
GOOD. DID YOU HAVE TO SAY "OLD"?
(man) SERVICE MANAGER TO CUSTOMER SERVICE.
BYE. OFF TO MODELING CLASS.
AGAIN? HOW MANY CLASSES ARE YOU TAKING?
OH. I'M IN THE ACCELERATED PROGRAM.
IS THAT WHERE THEY TEACH YOU TO WALK VERY, VERY FAST?
IF YOU WEREN'T SO BEAUTY-DISABLED,
JUST TELL ME WHO'S PAYING FOR THESE.
TO BECOME A HUMAN COAT HANGER?
YES, A VERY RICH, VERY GLAMOROUS HUMAN COAT HANGER
WITH A CLOSET FULL OF CLOTHES
(telephone rings)
HELLO?
Well, I'm making three times my old salary
AND I DON'T HAVE TO BE ON MY FEET ALL DAY,
HAS HE HIT ON YOU YET?
GUESS WHAT, WOLF.
I know Alan Markham.
CAN'T KEEP IT IN HIS PANTS, NEVER HAS.
I want you to quit.
I THOUGHT YOU'D BE HAPPY FOR ME.
Look, you're pissed
BECAUSE HE HAD THE BALLS TO GO STRAIGHT, AND IT WORKED FOR HIM.
THIS IS A GOOD JOB, AND I'M NOT GIVING IT UP
because you're jealous of him and his success.
(beep)
(dial tone drones)
***. WHAT CAN WE DO?
(fist thuds, man grunts)
SO HOW'S DADDY?
LIKE JACK NICHOLSON IN "THE SHINING."
WOW. I'M REALLY STARTING TO RUB OFF ON YOU, AREN'T I?
DOES YOUR SISTER HAVE A BOYFRIEND?
YOU WANT ME TO RAT OUT MY OWN FLESH AND BLOOD?
WESTS DON'T DO THAT.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
FORGET I ASKED.
WHICH IS WHY I CAN'T TELL YOU TO CHECK INSIDE HER UNDIE DRAWER.
(sighs)
(indistinct conversations)
I'M GONNA NEED TWO SCREWDRIVERS, A MOJITO
AND A LEGITIMATE MODELING AGENT TO GET ME SOME MODELING GIGS,
LIKE YOU PROMISED ME WHEN I TOOK THIS CRAPPY JOB.
LOOK, IT'S JUST GONNA TAKE SOME TIME, OKAY?
IN THE MEANTIME, YOU'RE MAKING DECENT MONEY.
YOU JUST HAVE TO BE PATIENT.
(man) DON'T BE SHY.
JUST LET 'EM KNOW, AND THEY'LL BE SURE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU.
YOU CAN TAKE OFF IF YOU WANT.
OH, YEAH, RIGHT,
JUST LIKE I'D LET YOU KNOW IF I FOUND SOMETHING.
(sighs) I'M NOT YOU, HUGH.
I'M NOT ABOUT TO STAB A COLLEAGUE IN THE BACK
OKAY, FINE.
THERE'S NO SMOKING GUN HERE, ANYWAY,
SO IT WAS NICE KNOWING YOU, TONTO.
I'M REALLY GONNA ENJOY THIS CORNER OFFICE.
I'VE GOT IT COMING TO ME,
EVEN IF I'M NOT A MEMBER OF A, UH... MINORITY.
(folder thuds)
(sighs deeply)
"INTERVIEW NON-NATIVE AMERICANS FOR LOWER-LEVEL JOBS.
SUBSTANDARD LIVING CONDITIONS... HIGHER HEALTH RISK."
(sighs)
OH!
YEAH!
(door closes)
MODELING CLASS, MY AUNT ***.
YOU CALL TAKING OFF YOUR CLOTHES FOR A BUNCH OF DRUNKS
I'M NOT TAKING MY CLOTHES OFF, MOM.
RIGHT.
WHY DO I EVEN TELL YOU THE TRUTH?
YOU'RE QUITTING THAT JOB, YOU HEAR ME?!
(door slams)
(sighs)
(Hope) Have you shown it to Stierson yet?
HEY, BUDDY, I'M, UH, GOING OUT FOR A DOUBLE ESPRESSO.
NO, THANK YOU, BUT WHEN YOU GET BACK, STOP BY.
ALL RIGHT.
YEAH.
(closes drawer)
DID YOU LEARN THAT ON THE RESERVATION?
MISSPENT YOUTH.
SO WHERE'D YOU PUT IT?
YOU PUT IT IN YOUR BRIEFCASE? YOU BRING IT HOME?
WE'RE LOOKING AT $1 MILLION-PLUS IN LEGAL FEES,
AND YOU THINK THAT THIS IS SOME KIND OF *** CONTEST?
BOY, YOU KNOW WHAT PISSES ME OFF?
SOMEBODY WHO GETS A CORNER OFFICE
FOR PLAYING A PHONY ETHNICITY CARD.
AND YOU GOT YOURS BECAUSE OF WHAT, YOUR BRILLIANT G.P.A.?
OR IS IT BECAUSE YOUR UNCLE PLAYS GOLF WITH STIERSON?
WELL... AT LEAST MY OLD MAN'S NOT IN THE SLAMMER.
NOW GET OUT OF MY OFFICE.
(slams)
(keypad beeps)
HEY, IT'S ME. LOOK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT?
I THINK I HAVE A JOB FOR YOU, BILLY AND CRUZ. IT COULD BE FUN.
CALL ME BACK.
(hangs up receiver)
♪♪♪
(video game beeping)
THAT'D BE, LIKE, ILLEGAL.
MOM DOESN'T WANT US DOING ANYTHING ILLEGAL, REMEMBER?
YEAH, RIGHT, UNTIL YOU TELL HER.
CAL, I'M NOT GONNA TELL HER BECAUSE THEN I'LL BE IMPLICATED.
(man) WHOA!
YOU SUCK, DUDE!
ALL RIGHT, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK--
IT'S JUST BETWEEN YOU AND I, OKAY? THIS GUY DESERVES IT,
AND APPARENTLY, FROM WHAT HE TELLS EVERYBODY AT WORK,
(men) DIBS.
ALL I WANT IS THE BRIEFCASE. WHAT YOU DO WITH THE REST...
HIS BRIEFCASE. YOU'RE SUCH A BIG-SHOT LAWYER,
YOU TELL HIM.
LOSER.
OKAY, THAT'S WHERE HE PUT THE EVIDENCE.
AND MOM WILL NEVER KNOW?
NEVER. YOU HAVE MY WORD.
ALL RIGHT. (chuckles)
ALL RIGHT.
(chuckles) OKAY.
(buzzer sounds)
(man shouts indistinctly in foreign language)
(man) I LIKE 'EM BIG, MOMMY. YEAH.
(buzzer sounds)
DADDY! (chuckles)
HI.
MWAH.
(kisses)
DADDY, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR EYE?
THIS? I SLIPPED I-IN THE SHOWER.
NO BATH MATS HERE.
RIGHT.
SO WHAT'S UP?
WELL, I GOT A JOB.
YEAH, THE PAY'S REALLY GOOD,
AND THERE'S A CHANCE FOR REAL CAREER ADVANCEMENT.
THAT'S WONDERFUL, SWEETHEART.
YEAH. UM, IT'S AT THE SPARKLE CLUB.
(buzzer sounds, door clatters)
YEAH, BUT, DADDY, I'M JUST WAITRESSING. I PROMISE.
THE OWNER, ROBBY,
HE HAS CONNECTIONS TO BIG MODELING AGENCIES.
ONE OF THE GIRLS JUST GOT SIGNED TO ELITE,
WHAT DOES YOUR MOTHER SAY?
WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE SAYS? OF COURSE SHE WANTS ME TO QUIT.
SHE'D RATHER SEE ME FLIPPING BURGERS AT RUSTY'S.
IT IS SO UNFAIR, DAD.
MM...
WELL...
MM, YOUR MOTHER CAN SOMETIMES BE A LITTLE OVERPROTECTIVE.
NO, DADDY, SHE HAS NO FAITH IN ME,
NOT LIKE YOU DO.
(sighs)
ALL RIGHT.
TELL YOUR MOM I SAID YOU CAN KEEP THE JOB
SO LONG AS IT'S JUST WAITRESSING.
NOW THE MOMENT YOU SENSE ANY FUNNY STUFF,
I WANT YOU TO QUIT, OKAY?
OKAY. I PROMISE. OH, DADDY, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
(chuckles) THANK YOU.
THANK GOD MOM'S NOT A SINGLE PARENT.
(buzzer sounds)
I NEED YOUR SIGNATURE ON THIS.
YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT?
NOPE.
I ALMOST GOT THE RECEIPTS FILED FOR APRIL AND MAY.
CHERYL, COME ON. SOMETHING'S WRONG.
GIVE ME YOUR WORK.
SIT DOWN.
TALK TO ME.
IT'S HEATHER.
GOD, ALAN, SHE'S WORKING AT THE SPARKLE CLUB.
SHE SWEARS SHE'S ONLY WAITRESSING, BUT--
SHE'S TELLING YOU THE TRUTH. (exhales deeply)
I SAW HER THERE. I WAS ORDERING A DRINK.
UM, THINGS HAVE NOT BEEN EASY FOR ME WITH LEXY BEING SICK.
BUT HEATHER IS TELLING YOU THE TRUTH. SHE'S BEING HONEST.
A STRIP CLUB, ALAN?
WHAT AM I GONNA TELL YOU? I'M LONELY.
YOU MUST KNOW HOW THAT FEELS WITH WOLF BEING AWAY.
BESIDES, I ONLY LOOK. I NEVER TOUCH.
OH, SPARE ME THE DETAILS. YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME.
I PROMISED HER I WOULDN'T RAT HER OUT.
NOW HEATHER THINKS I'M A ***.
THANKS FOR TELLING ME.
HEY, WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GET OUT OF HERE AND GET A DRINK...
THEN GRAB A BITE?
JUST TO COMMISERATE, THAT'S ALL.
THANKS ANYWAY, ALAN,
BUT I THINK I SHOULD JUST GO HOME AND WALLOW ALONE.
(keys jangle)
LET'S JUST HAVE DINNER THEN.
WE WON'T TALK ABOUT WOLF OR LEXY.
THANKS, ALAN.
I APPRECIATE THE OFFER, BUT I GOTTA GO HOME.
WEDNESDAY, 5:43 P.M...
THIS TIME IT'S MISS LOOKY-LOO GOES IN FOR THE SQUEEZE.
IS MR. PRETTY FACE FINALLY GETTING TO HER?
(hits table)
JUST WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?
YOU DON'T WORK THERE ANYMORE, REMEMBER?
MY HOUSE, MY RULES.
OH, REALLY? 'CAUSE DADDY SAID IT WAS OKAY WITH HIM,
AND I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S STILL HIS HOUSE, TOO.
(door opens and closes)
I TRUST HER.
BULL. IF YOU'D FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS FIRST,
YOU'D BE THROUGH THE ROOF. YOUR PRINCESS AT A STRIP CLUB?
HEY, SHE WOULDN'T HAVE TO TAKE A JOB LIKE THIS
IF SHE WASN'T GETTING PRESSURED
BY CERTAIN PEOPLE WITH PRETENSIONS.
YOU BLAME ME? YOU'RE THE ONE IN JAIL.
OH, YOU NOTICED. THANK YOU.
OH, AND BY THE WAY, THANKS FOR ASKING HOW I'M FEELING
SINCE I GOT THE CRAP BEAT OUT OF ME.
HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
BETTER, THANK YOU.
I MISS YOU, THOUGH.
I DON'T SEE YOU ENOUGH.
(buzzer sounds)
(sighs) WELL, I'VE BEEN BUSY, WOLF.
I HAVE SOMETHING CALLED A JOB.
AND YOU HAVE TO SHOW UP IF YOU WANT TO GET PAID.
AND SHOWING UP IS ALL THAT ALAN EXPECTS?
ALAN IS A GOOD MAN WHO'S PAYING ME MORE THAN I EVER MADE
SELLING YOUR STOLEN MERCHANDISE.
ALAN IS A SLEAZEBAG WHO ONLY OFFERED YOU THE JOB
SO THAT HE COULD GET INTO YOUR PANTS.
(whispers) WHAT THE HELL'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
(normal voice) I HAVE BEEN FAITHFUL TO YOU
FOR MORE THAN 20 YEARS.
AND IF YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND THAT,
THEN YOU'VE GOT YOUR HEAD STUCK UP YOUR ***,
AND AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, YOU CAN KEEP IT THERE.
(sighs)
AREN'T YOU GONNA INVITE ME IN?
I THOUGHT YOU COULDN'T MAKE IT.
I CHANGED MY MIND.
I COULD USE A LITTLE COMMISERATING.
LEXY CALLED. SHE'S OFF TO DINNER
WITH A BUNCH OF NEW YORKERS SHE MET AT THE LOUVRE.
YES, SHE CAN.
OH, THANK YOU.
(slurps)
OH. (chuckles)
I-I JUST SAW WOLF.
YEAH? HOW'S HE DOING?
*** ME OFF,
AS USUAL.
DID YOU EVER THINK ABOUT LEAVING HIM?
OH, I'VE HAD MY MOMENTS,
BUT WHAT MARRIAGE HASN'T?
(scoffs)
ME AND LEXY, TOO.
IN FACT, WE WERE SPLITTING UP LAST YEAR.
THEN SHE GOT THE BIG "C,"
AND I COULDN'T GO THROUGH WITH IT.
AND NOW THAT SHE'S GETTING BETTER?
OH, IT'S OVER. I THINK WE BOTH KNOW THAT.
I'M SORRY, ALAN.
NO.
EVERYONE DESERVES TO BE HAPPY,
EVEN YOU.
DON'T, ALAN.
I...
I CAN'T.
WHY NOT?
BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW PISSED OFF AT WOLF I AM,
I CAN'T PROVE HIM RIGHT BY CHEATING WITH YOU.
AT THIS POINT, IT'S HARD TO THINK OF IT AS CHEATING.
I THINK I SHOULD GO.
YOU COULD STAY.
SPEND THE NIGHT.
NO ONE WOULD EVER KNOW.
YOU KNOW, I-I KNOW YOU THINK YOU MEAN WELL, ALAN,
BUT YOU DON'T.
AND BESIDES, I'D KNOW.
MM.
(knock on door)
HEY.
LISTEN, I'M--I'M SORRY I ACCUSED YOU OF RIPPING ME OFF.
I'D LIKE TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU, TRY TO, YOU KNOW,
BURY THE HATCHET.
I'M APOLOGIZING.
YEAH, SURE, KEMO SABE. WHY NOT?
HEY, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
DON'T BLAME ME IF YOU CAN'T HOLD YOUR FIRE WATER.
(chuckles)
(men cheering)
(man) THE ONE, THE ONLY TWO-- MISS CANDY CANE.
♪♪♪
(men cheering)
HEY, HEY. SO ONE MORE?
IT'S ON ME. HUH?
HUGH, COME ON. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
HUGH, LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO ME. COME ON.
ONE MORE SMOKE OF THE PEACE PIPE,
SM--
JUST ONE.
I KNEW YOU WOULD.
ONE. HEY, SWEETHEART.
(Heather) TWO MORE MOJITOS.
YEAH, REALLY FUNNY.
HEATHER? HEATHER.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
UM, IT'S CALLED WORKING,
THIS THING US WESTS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING NOW.
DOES MOM KNOW YOU'RE HERE?
AND I'M SERVING DRINKS, PERIOD.
SO, YES, MOM KNOWS. YES, DAD KNOWS.
LISTEN, I'M JUST LOOKING OUT FOR YOU, OKAY?
AS LONG AS MY BABY SISTER'S NOT GIVING LAP DANCES.
WELL...
I'M ONLY WORKING HERE UNTIL ROBBY OVER THERE
GETS ME DISCOVERED.
WHAT, DO YOU GUYS THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY BIG SHOTS
COMING UP IN HERE? TRUST ME, WE GOT ALL KINDS.
WE CAN ALWAYS TELL A LAWYER BY A LOUSY TIP.
(Hugh) LOGAN!
♪♪♪
HERE YOU GO, SIR.
(phone ringing)
COME ON, CAL. PICK UP, PICK UP, PICK UP.
Hey-o. This is Cal.
(beep)
iPod. SWEET.
(Cal, singsongy) JACKPOT! (chuckles)
HEY, BABY. HOW YOU DOIN'?
OH! YO, JACKPOT, DUDES.
HOMEMADE ***, DUDE.
NO, MAN. DUDE, CRUZ, THE GUY'S COMING HOME SOON.
SO WHAT, MAN? WE GOTTA CHECK IT OUT AT LEAST.
(woman screams, man speaks indistinctly)
WHAT'S SHE GONNA DO WITH THAT?
(chuckles)
OW! THAT'S GOTTA HURT.
(slap)
OOH. I GUESS HE REALLY LIKES IT.
(all) OH!
UGH!
LET'S GO MAN. LET'S GO, DUDE. COME ON, MAN.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
OH.
OH, WAIT. WHAT ARE WE FORGETTING?
WE ALREADY RAIDED THE FRIDGE, BRO.
YEAH.
BRIEFCASE?
THE BRIEFCASE.
BRIEFCASE.
ALL RIGHT. COME ON, MAN.
(objects clanking)
(cheering and whistling)
(man) YEAH!
I AM GONNA BUY YOU...
A LAP DANCE.
(speaks gibberish)
NO, YOU ARE NOT FINE.
NO, YOU ARE NOT FINE. YOU ARE NOT FINE.
LET ME TELL YOU WHAT.
(chuckles)
(chuckles) HEY, SWEETIE? SWEETIE? HONEY?
WELL, HELLO.
WHAT TIME YOU GETTING OFF, HUH?
UNLESS, YOU KNOW, YOU WANNA GET OFF NOW.
WELL, I THINK RIGHT NOW WOULD BE JUST...
PERFECT.
OH.
OH!
(cheers and applause)
WELL, THANK YOU. I REALLY GOT OFF ON THAT.
♪♪♪
WELL... I'LL SAY THIS MUCH FOR HIM--
HE MAY BE A LAWYER, BUT HE'S AN EXCELLENT TIPPER.
THANK YOU, SIR.
WELL DONE, SIS.
♪♪♪
(indistinct conversations)
THANKS FOR COMING, DETECTIVE.
ALWAYS A PLEASURE TO SEE YOU.
WELL, IT'S ALWAYS A PLEASURE TO SEE YOU, TOO,
AS LONG AS YOU'RE RIGHT HERE WHERE YOU BELONG.
ALL RIGHT.
SO YOU SAID YOU HAD SOME INFORMATION FOR ME
CONCERNING ONGOING CRIMINAL ACTIVITY?
I'M JUST CURIOUS AS TO WHY YOU WOULD TELL ME ANYTHING.
I MEAN, ISN'T IT AGAINST THE WEST CODE TO RAT PEOPLE OUT?
I WANT TO GET OUTTA HERE.
AS LUXURIOUS AS THE ACCOMMODATIONS ARE,
DETECTIVE, I'M A BIT OF A FUSSY SLEEPER.
I TEND TO PREFER MY OWN BED AND THE WOMAN I SHARE IT WITH.
AND I FIGURE, COOPERATING WITH YOU
WILL LOOK GOOD FOR MY APPEAL.
OKAY.
WHAT DO YOU GOT?
(woman) FIRE CREWS HAVE CONTAINED A WILDFIRE
BURNING NEAR HIGHWAY 60, WHICH BROUGHT TRAFFIC
DON'T WORRY.
SHE MAY NOT HAVE MUCH IN THE BRAIN DEPARTMENT,
BUT WHAT IS THERE IS COATED WITH A NEARLY BIONIC PREDILECTION
FOR SURVIVAL THAT WOULD KNOCK THE SOCKS OFF A COCKROACH.
IT'S NOT HER SURVIVAL I'M WORRIED ABOUT.
IT'S HER FUTURE.
AND WHY WAS LOGAN THE ONLY ONE WHO UNDERSTOOD THE DIFFERENCE?
YEAH... I'VE BEEN MEANING TO ASK HIM,
BUT HE'S JUST SO BUSY
TRYING TO FIND A PHONE BOOTH TO CHANGE IN.
OH.
HEY, IT'S NOT LIKE SHE TRIES TO MAKE BAD DECISIONS.
SHE JUST DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THE GOOD ONES ARE.
(door opens and closes)
(whispers) WATCH IT. SHE'S LOCKED AND LOADED.
HERE.
WHAT'S THIS FOR?
ROOM AND BOARD.
STUFF, YOU KNOW.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS.
WELL, I FIGURED SINCE I'M MAKING A LITTLE MONEY NOW,
I SHOULD AT LEAST CONTRIBUTE.
I'M SORRY
I HAVEN'T TRUSTED YOU MORE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
YOU ARE A WEST, AFTER ALL.
I MADE A LOT OF MISTAKES IN MY LIFE,
AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO REPEAT THEM.
YOU WORKED IN A STRIP CLUB?
NO.
BUT IF THE OPPORTUNITY HAD PRESENTED ITSELF,
I MIGHT HAVE.
HOW WAS WORK?
IT WAS GOOD. IT WAS GOOD.
THE--THE TIPS WERE REALLY GOOD.
YEAH.
YEAH.
YEAH.
HONEY, DO YOU THINK...
COULD YOU WEAR SOMETHING THAT WAS A LITTLE MORE...
MORE?
UH, NO. NO, I CAN'T.
CAN'T. NOPE.
(men yelling indistinctly)
(snorts) OH.
(woman speaks indistinctly)
SON OF A ***!
(grunts)
(grunt and pants)
MORNING.
IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY TO ME
ALAN, I DID NOT LEAD YOU ON.
YOU LEFT ME IN A HIGH STATE OF AROUSAL, AND YOU KNOW IT.
(pen clinks)
IT'S NOT THE SAME THING.
LISTEN, CHERYL, I'M CRAZY ABOUT YOU.
I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN
AND I ALWAYS WILL BE.
ALAN, IT'S VERY FLATTERING, BUT IT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN,
SO BE A GOOD BOY AND STOP TOUCHING ME.
(police radio chatter)
I HAVE A WARRANT TO SEARCH THESE PREMISES.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I'M JUST CONDUCTING A CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION.
WHAT ELSE WOULD I BE DOING HERE?
WORKING AWFULLY CLOSE TO THE BOSS, AREN'T WE, CHERYL?
(Logan speaking Native American language)
WE BELIEVE THAT YOU HAVE A VERY STRONG CASE,
AS OUR SENIOR PARTNER, JOHN STIERSON,
WILL EXPLAIN IN GREATER DETAIL ONCE WE'RE ALL INSIDE.
IF YOU'LL FOLLOW ME.
THANK YOU, SIR.
OH, I APPRECIATE THAT, SIR.
SORRY I'M LATE. I...
SORRY.
WELL, YOU SHOULD BE.
LOOK AT YOU.
GO HOME. SLEEP IT OFF.
MR. WEST NO LONGER NEEDS YOU.
AND DON'T THINK I AM NOT GONNA CALL YOUR UNCLE.
(whispers) PUTZ.
(inhales sharply)
WELL, YOU KNOW HOW TO PARTY. I'LL SAY THAT MUCH FOR YOU.
SOMEBODY...
UH, ROBBED MY APARTMENT LAST NIGHT.
WELL, I HOPE THAT YOU DIDN'T LOSE ANYTHING IMPORTANT.
(sniffs) YOU ARE ONE OF THOSE WESTS, AREN'T YOU?
(clicks tongue)
AW, HUGH, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
(laughs)
BUT...
WE SHOULD GO OUT AGAIN SOMETIME.
WE COULD PLAY SOME PING-PONG.
(whispers) I HEAR YOU HAVE YOUR OWN PADDLES.
(man speaking indistinctly)
(Logan) ARE WE READY, SIR?
(John) YES, WE ARE. PLEASE.
(police radio chatter)
SO YOU JUST STARTED WORKING HERE ON MONDAY, HUH?
THAT'S WHAT I JUST TOLD YOU.
WELL, THEN I GUESS YOU'RE NOT IMPLICATED.
IN WHAT?
APPARENTLY, MR. MARKHAM'S CONNECTED
TO AN ORGANIZED GANG OF INTERNATIONAL CAR THIEVES.
HIS INVENTORY OF HIGH-END STOLEN IMPORTS
IS ACTUALLY VERY IMPRESSIVE.
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
WELL, CHERYL, SOMEONE SEEMS TO THINK IT IS.
SOMEONE...
VERY CLOSE TO YOU.
(police radio chatter)
(siren wails)
(lock clicks)
(indistinct conversations)
(catcalling and whistling)
OH, BABY! YEAH!
(man) YEAH!
(man) COMPLETE WITH THE PUMPS!
(whistling continues)
(man) THAT IS HOT!
(man makes kissing sounds)
ALL RIGHT. THAT'S ENOUGH. SETTLE DOWN. SETTLE DOWN.
(man) OH, I'LL BE YOUR DADDY! YEAH!
REMINDS ME OF YOUR MAMA!
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING DRESSED LIKE THAT?
WHAT? I ALWAYS DRESS LIKE THIS NOW.
WHAT, WITH MY MAN IN PRISON AND EVERYTHING,
I GOTTA PUT THE GOODS BACK OUT ON DISPLAY.
ALL RIGHT, CHERYL.
YOU MADE YOUR POINT. YOU WIN.
NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME, WOLF,
OR I'M GONNA START TALKING VERY LOUDLY
ABOUT HOW YOU RATTED OUT ALAN MARKHAM.
AND THAT SHOULD MAKE LIFE IN HERE
A BIT MORE INTERESTING FOR YOU, DON'T YOU THINK?
YEAH, I COULDA SLEPT WITH ALAN,
BUT I DIDN'T.
AND DO YOU KNOW WHY?
(voice breaking) BECAUSE YOU'RE THE FIRST MAN
THAT I EVER FELL IN LOVE WITH,
AND YOU'LL PROBABLY BE THE LAST,
AND THAT MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME.
BUT AFTER THIS,
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU ARE THAT MAN.
WELL...
I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO.
(whispers) YOU BETRAYED YOURSELF.
(normal voice) AND YOU HAD NO FAITH IN ME.
(voice breaking) YOU RUINED A MAN'S LIFE--
A FRIEND--
BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T TRUST ME.
I DON'T THINK I'M GONNA WANNA SEE YOU FOR A WHILE, WOLF.
(indistinct conversations)
(footsteps retreat)
WELL, I'LL BE RIGHT HERE WHEN YOU DO.
(buzzer sounds, door opens)
(indistinct conversations)
(buzzer sounds, door opens)
(indistinct conversations continue)
(door closes)