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All through my life I was the average person. You know I went to school. I graduated. I did all of that you
know, but when I was diagnosed with cancer the first time, you know I was like oh okay.
Yeah Iím 16. I have a baby and I have cancer. You know thatís not your average,
The first thing that came through my mind, when they told me I had or needed a bone marrow
transplant was what was a bone marrow transplant? I thought it was something as simple as a
blood transfusion. You know I thought it was something as simple. Iíd go to the doctor.
You know theyíd give me my blood transfusion and Iíd go home and Iím back to my energetic
self, but that was not the case.
A transplant is not a very short, quick fix for whatever the issue is. The transplant
day is obviously just one day. You get the transplant that day. Thereís a period before
hand, when you have to go through a series of tests, to make sure youíre ready for the
transplant. Then there is a period of a week or so, where you get chemotherapy and/or radiation.
Then you get the transplant, but then itís really about a year of recovery to anticipate.
Looking back, I wish I would have asked more questions, more quick, quickly then I did.
I wish someone was there saying you know hey, look at me, you know Iíve been through this,
you know and itís okay. Because just having a bone marrow transplant is scary within itself
and I didnít know how scary the process was.
I found out later that itís okay to ask, ask questions. It is okay to, to want to know,
because itís your body you know and the doctors can tell you what they know, from their perspective,
but you also, as a patient have to not be scared, to let them know how you feel.
Having a living will was very hard, but it was the best thing I could have did, not only
for me, but for my son, because it gave my family, some sort of understanding of what
I would want, you know because if I was, if something was to happen to me that could kind
of ease the pain for them of how to go about you know taking care of my son I signed many
a doctorís note, you know saying itís okay to cut me here and do this, but signing that
living will and then to have to go notarize, those two things put your whole life into
perspective. It, it took me about 20 minutes, to actually sign my name on the line
We were riding in
the car one day and I was like well Jaylan you know what, what do you want for Christmas
and he said, I said you know you have to be good or Santaís not going to bring you anything
and he said well I didnít want anything from Santa. I got what God was going to bring me.
And I said well what is that Jaylan and he said me and God had a secret a long time ago
he said and I told God that all I wanted was my mommy for Christmas he said and here you
are.
My son Jaylan was my main reason for fighting as, as hard as I did. Not only you know fighting
in the hospital you know night after night, you know battling the, the depression and
the sleepless nights, the restless nights, the worrying days. He became my reason for,
The relationships with my mother and my sisters are tremendously strong. We were always supportive
of each other, but once I had my bone marrow transplant, they took on the responsibility
of motherhood for me, in the sense that my son couldnít live with me
My sisters stepped in you know and they you know got Jaylan ready or they came over you
know and sat with me. They cried with me. They stayed in the hospital with me. I learned
you know going through all this that tomorrow was never promised to me you know, so that
I learned to appreciate them a lot more. You know the, the why you got my jeans on, really
wasnít as important you know.
I seen in my mother the woman that I hope to be. Approx 2:34: She was the one person
that wiped my tears and just let and she was the one that had all the answers to the ìbut
why meî questions and a motherís love is just so unconditional.
You are going to be overwhelmed. Youíre going to be sad. Youíre going to cry. Youíre going
to pray. Youíre going to do a lot of things that a mom does, because this is your child
that you know is going through this and as a typical mother, when your child hurts, you
hurt.
Going through a transplant is really difficult and everyone has a different way of coping.
I think the important thing is, is to express how youíre feeling to your family and friends.
Some people will watch videos. Some people will listen to their I-pod or music. It really
is an individual thing about how youíre going to cope, but itís important to ask others
The coping strategy that I had was music. Iíve been singing since I was 2. So music
has always been my comfort zone. You know itís the one place I can go to, ( take out:
to not only talk to God, but to) get away from it all. Music was the one place I could
go to just kind of drift off and go to, to not be me for a while and go to another place
and it became my, music was my comfort zone.
Exercise became my friend unfortunately during transplant, but now itís, itís become part
of my daily routine. You know I started on the treadmill at one minute. I can go 45 minutes
to an hour now, you know without being tired or just like woo you know just exhausted.
So for me it became part of my daily routine, to better myself, as far as exercise, eating
healthier.
My advice to young people that are going through transplant would be to first of all be obedient,
because a lot of times at such a young age, we get hardheaded and defiant. Be obedient,
not only to your body, but be obedient to the doctors. Theyíre not there for their
health. Theyíre there for yours you know and another thing that I would tell them itís
okay, now itís okay to ask questions and itís okay to be scared. Itís okay to be
confused, because your life has been altered tremendously you know, but the one words of
encouragement that I would have for you is that this to shall pass.
After transplant I experienced a lot of fatigue the first six to eight weeks. After transplant
I experienced a few mouth sores. After transplant you have to learn the new you and when I say
that I mean that before you could get up, jump, run outside, you know barefoot and just
have at it, but after transplant you have to become cautious.
The fertility issues I was blessed to have Jaylan at the age that I had Jaylan, because
after having a bone marrow transplant I can no longer have children, because of all the
chemotherapy. (take out: So itís an advantage, but at the same time) Having unsafe sex to
me, whether youíve been through everything that Iíve been through or not is never an
option.
So despite the issues of decreased fertility after transplant, itís still very important
to practice safe sex. Remember safe sex isnít just about not getting pregnant. Itís about
not getting certain infections, ***, gonorrhea, syphilis and other infections and again, after
transplant your immune system is very suppressed. The last thing you want is an infection like
that that for a suppressed immune system to be life threatening. So itís very important
to practice safe sex and itís very important to talk to your doctor about when itís a
good time to start having sex after a transplant.
I now have a boyfriend who I love because he loves me in spite of and because of everything
that Iíve been through.
Ahh what isnít there about Danielle? I think, I think the thing that caught me about Danielle
first was her smile. She has a beautiful smile. Beyond that sheís just probably the most
giving and caring person that Iíve ever met in my life. (need to edit) I canít imagine
my life without her.
My advice to a boyfriend or a girlfriend would be to be supportive, as you can and first
of all listen. Listen to what your, your girlfriend or your boyfriend has to say to you. Be open-minded.
Be supportive. Notice the little things. Little things mean a lot to people and we never realize
that till someone has gone through something traumatic and the, the littlest or the smallest
thing that you do for them can make their day.
Cancer doesnít determine who you are. 2:29:39 Life for me after transplant is so much better
than I thought it would be.
My future holds hope. Approx ìI am a survivor you know and I want to you know go to college.
I want to raise my son. I want to be married. I want to have a family you know and those
simple things you know that so often are taken for granted have become so important to me
you know.
I hopefully in the future can be the hope for somebody else. I hopefully can be the
hope for somebody that necessarily wasnít there for me. I want to be the support that
someone has regarding bone marrow transplant, because this completely altered my life.
Even if you have insurance, thereís going to be financial problems or financial situations
that come up that you are not going to be prepared for like when we took Danielle home,
after she had transplant, she could not eat any leftovers. I mean my house had to be cleaned
from the roof to the basement and you have to pay somebody to do a lot of these things
I was off work like I said for an extended period of time and different relatives would
help. You know there was times that I opened up the mail and Iíd have the check for 3
or $400 from a relative and you know a church member would stop by and have, give me an
envelope with something in it or either Iíd go out to the mailbox or somebody had come
up on the porch that I didnít hear them come up and put something in the mailbox for us
and it was helpful.
I did a lot of did I do something wrong? But I know that I didnít do anything wrong, as
a parent, but youíre going to have some rough times, but itís okay. Youíll get through
it. You just have to pull up your sleeve, get in there and do whatís best for your
child and as a parent you know we just tend to do whatís best for our children.
Danielleís always a very strong person, always been a very strong young lady, but I think
this was very tough on her and I know that there were times that she tried to be courageous
for me, because she didnít want me to be sad or she didnít want me to you know be
overwhelmed or cry. And I think that sometimes you know she would not tell me a lot of things,
on how she was feeling. She would have a moment, where she would just cry and breakdown and
she would talk about what was going on and the things that she was feeling and we had
our moments. She cried about it. We wiped the tears and that was her moment. And then
sometimes, I would have my moment and I would cry and I would tell her itís okay, Iím
just having my moment. And she said okay, itís your turn, to have your moment, because
I had mine not too long ago.
The best advice that I could give to another parent that is going through what I went through
was do something for yourself every once in a while, because you know that there are going
to be times that youíre going to be so caught up in the care of your child or loved one
that sometimes you can tend to forget about yourself a little bit and sometimes you have
to do just a little bit of something for yourself.