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- Who are you ? - It's not important.
Are you a ghost ?
He called, derek.
Let's take a walk.
You think zoolander's in trouble ?
[ laughs ] think again.
What you stumbled upon goes way deeper than you could ever fathom.
The fashion industry has been behind every major political assassination...
Over the last 200 years.
And behind every hit, a card-carrying male model.
- Okay, that's impossible. - Oh, yeah ?
Listen and learn, sweetness. Abe lincoln wanted to abolish slavery, right ?
But who do you think made the powdered wigs and colored leg stockings...
Worn by our country's early leaders ?
Mugatu !
- Slaves, derek. - Oh.
And without their free labor, prices on such items would have gone up tenfold.
So the powers that be hired john wilkes booth,
The original model/actor, to do mr. Lincoln in.
I'll go on. Dallas, texas, 1963.
Kennedy had just put a trade embargo on cuba,
Ostensibly halting the shipment of cuban-manufactured sansabelt slacks.
Incredibly popular item at the time.
Lee harvey oswald was not a male model.
You're *** right he wasn't. But those two lookers...
Who kept kennedy from the grassy knoll sure as *** were.
Well, what about you ? How do you fit in to all this ?
- Oh, this nation was swept-- - oh !
I'll get it, ma'am.
[ sighs, mutters ]
Uh-- get over--
Wait a minute.
No. I know that hand.
It was in the fall 1973 bulova watch catalog.
You're j.P. Prewitt.
The world's greatest hand model.
Once upon a time... But things change.
Thanks to this homemade hyperbaric chamber, my sweet baby never did.
[ chuckles ] let's keep moving.