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kids
New York City has lots of great restaurants but I didn't discover my
favorite falafel place until the summer of 2013
it's a funny story actually I'd had an unusually light breakfast that morning
yogurt with a little fruit -dad -so I was pretty darn hungry
dad now this was in Greek yogurt mind you but I heart smart non-fat excuse me
sorry I mean a break you flow or anything
but can I just ask you one little question sure
what the f**k is wrong with you what!! you sat us
down to tell us the story of how you met her mother eight f**king
years ago look at us for grown-ups now
I went through puberty on this couch I missed college
I know the lyrics to let's go to the mall but I don't know who the f**king president is
I dont remember what sunshine feels like on my skin
we've been living off a rain water in a small spider farm we
ironically cultivated in this world's greatest dad Mug
the only girl that i've seen in the past eight years
is my sister and its start to make me think bad stuff
I'd kill for a bathroom break in a real bathroom
we been shittin in a bucket a fu*king
bucket you still haven't gotten how you met mom
all you've done is talk about it endless parade *** you banged
do you realize how disturbing it is you're our father
I hope the story ends with you not meeting mom because honestly at this
point I wish I was never born
okay I get it but did i told you the story The Craziest teeth cleaning I ever got
dont change the to subject *****le so
you're saying you owe me to wrap it up yes!!
alright I wrap it up F**kin eh