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Jay: Hey guys. My name is Jay I am a forty year old male who lives in Northern California.
and I wanted to do my "It Gets Better" video.
I can remember a time when I was a seventeen year old kid going to highschool here in Northern California.
and I was engaged to my best friend at the time, who was a female.
and we actually had a kid on the way.
I was a very unhappy young man. I knew I was living a secret I knew I was living a lie
I knew that the person I was pretending to be in highschool was not the real me.
I had a lot of dark demons inside of me....
and those demons had to do with my homosexuality
I could not deal with the fact that I was gay...I came from a very Catholic, religious family.
I knew that the people I cared most about in my life, my girl friend, my best friend, my family, would not accept me as a gay man.
So I did what I thought was right at the time and I tried to commit suicide.
Now, luckily I failed.
And before I tell you how my story ends, I want to introduce you to my husband.
Bryan: Hi everybody, my name is Bryan and I am thirty seven
I came up like a lot of people, in a pretty conservative family where religion was apart of our upbringing.
and I really fought who I was for a very long time.
more so, then I think a lot of people who I have heard stories about.
The hardest coming out was to myself first.
more then anything
and then when I did
I had to contend with a lot of the things that i had been taught what being gay was supposed to be.
That I was going to be alone
That I was going to be alone...
That I was going to be alone
That I was going to be an alcoholic...
That I was going to be a pervert who prays on kids
and get AIDS. And all the things that people had said to me
I had to come out against the backdrop of my family telling me that, "if any of my kid's where gay i'd kill them".
It's a lot of stuff that people have to come to terms with when they decide to come out.
and you have to be really strong and really courageous to do that.
but now I am sitting on the other side of that battle
and I can honestly say that my life is a million times better
and I would like to introduce you to my family.
Jay: Hey, so this is the Leffew family
And this is our life today
And this is our life today.
I am now a happily married husband and a father of two
I am now a happily married husband and a father of two
I am now a happily married husband and a father of two
I am a police officer here in California.
and life is a whole lot better then it was in highschool.
I am very fortunate to have survived two attempts at suicide to get to this place.
I want all you young people out their to understand and to know that sometimes
life is scary and we really don't see a future
but if you just give yourself the opportunity
It gets better!
Life gets a lot better.
and I am a firm believer in that.
Bryan: you can come through everything, not only what your friends throw at you but sometimes even what your family throws at you.
Jay: So hold on. reach for the stars. work on yourself, don't worry about what other people think about you.
Really get through those tough times and I guarantee the payoff is worth it.
someday, you are going to meet the man or woman of your dreams.
you are going to create a life for yourself, with family, love, and security, that you can't even believe is possible today.
So...It gets better.
you kids want to say anything?
Daniel: UMMM No
Jay: want to say anything Selena? No
Well, ok its homework time so we will talk to you guys later. Family: Later.