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HERE YOU GO.
THANKS. I APPRECIATE IT.
I RE TO LOOK GOOD
FOR HIS AUNT CONNIE'S WEDDING.
WHATEVER KIND OF SUIT YOU GET HIM,
GET HIM SOMETHING NICE,
FOR OTHER OCCASIONS.
SURE
WHEN CONNIE HAS THE BABY,
SHE'S GONNA WANT WILL AT THE BAPTISM.
THAT'S IN 2 WEEKS.
DON'T FORGET HER SWEET 16.
THAT'S RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER.
JUST SOMETHING NICE.
I REALLY FEEL TERRIBLE
ABOUT TAKING THIS MONEY.
I MEAN, IT'S MY FAMILY AND EVERYTHING.
IT'S OK, DANTE.
IT'S JUST EMBARRASSING.
I CAN'T AFFORD TO BUY MY OWN SON A SUIT.
WELL, IF YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT WILL KNOWING,
WE WON'T TELL HIM.
HE'LL THINK IT ANYWAY.
"MY DAD, THE LOSER."
I'M JUST GONNA GET MY OTHER SNEAKERS
THEN WE'LL HEAD OUT, OK, POP?
SURE, CHIEF.
HEY, WOULD YOU GUYS DO ME A FAVOR?
EVEN THOUGH YOU ALREADY GAVE ME THE CHECK,
PING
SO I CAN TURN IT DOWN IN FRONT OF WILL?
UM, WELL, DANTE,
I'M NOT SURE
WE WANT TO PLAY THOSE KINDS OF GAMES.
BAD IDEA. YOU'RE RIGHT. FORGET I SAID IT.
OK, LET'S GO.
OK, I'LL HAVE HIM HOME FOR DINNER
IN A BRAND-NEW SUIT.
, WAIT UP.
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO PAY FOR ALL OF IT.
WE'LL SPLIT IT WITH YA.
THANKS.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY UNIVERSAL TELEVISION AND ABC, INC.
♪ AFTER THE EXES WE MOVE ON TO WHY ♪
♪ WILL WE EVER MAKE ANOTHER ONE FLY? ♪
♪ LOOKIN' FOR SOMETHIN' SO RIGHT ♪
♪ GOTTA HAVE SOMETHIN' SO RIGHT ♪
♪ WE'RE STRANGE, BUT WE'RE TIGHT ♪
♪ WE'VE GOT SOMETHIN' SO RIGHT ♪
CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.
PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
COME ON, HONEY. DON'T LOOK DOWN! LOOK UP!
WE GOT A BIG GAME. FOCUS! FOCUS! FOCUS!
WOULD YOU GUYS, PLEASE? I'M TRYING TO STUDY.
HEY, I WILL TELL YOU THE SAME THING I TELL MY STUDENTS.
STUDYING IS FOR LOSERS.
THAT'S RIGHT.
GO READ YOUR FANCY BOOK SOMEWHERE ELSE. HA HA HA.
COME ON, HONEY.
THE GIVE-AND-GO. PASS! LET'S GO!
LET'S GO! LET'S GO!
MOM SAID NOT IN THE HOUSE.
HONEY, SHE'S JUST YOUR MOM. I'M YOUR COACH.
HIT ME. I'M FREE.
SNAP PASS. LET'S GO.
SARAH.
I CAN'T CONTROL HER.
I TOLD YOU NOT TO PRACTICE IN THE HOUSE.
BUT, HONEY, THIS KID'S GONNA LEAD
THE OUR LADY OF THE INNOCENCE RAPTORS
TO ITS FIRST LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP.
WE'RE GONNA BEAT THE HELL OUT OF EVERYBODY
IN THE ALL SAINTS LEAGUE.
THAT'S GREAT, BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING
IS THAT ALL THE GIRLS HAVE FUN OUT THERE.
RIGHT. ABSOLUTELY.
FUN.
I'LL GET THE WATER AND THE SNACKS,
AND THEN WE'LL GO.
SARAH!
AND WHAT'S THE MOST FUN?
WINNING.
AT WHAT COST?
AT ALL COSTS.
AND WHEN DO WE STOP?
WHEN WE DROP.
THAT'S MY GIRL.
HA HA HA!
OK. FAKE TO THE KITCHEN.
I'LL HIT YOU IN THE DOORWAY.
MOM SAID---
GO! GO! GO! GO!
3, 2, 1!
OK, GAME OVER.
COME ON, RAPTORS, DO IT!
TIME-OUT! TIME-OUT! TIME-OUT! TIME-OUT!
[BUZZER SOUNDS]
YOU GUYS, IN HERE, IN HERE, IN HERE.
LET'S GO. LET'S GO. LET'S GO.
OK, WE'RE DOWN BY ONE. YOU'VE GOT 10 SECONDS LEFT.
IF YOU WANT IT, YOU GOT TO TAKE IT,
BUT YOU GUYS AREN'T ACTING LIKE YOU WANT IT.
OK, HELEN...
DON'T CRY.
WE'RE JUST HERE FOR FUN. WE'RE JUST HERE FOR FUN.
BOY, THIS IS A REAL NAIL-BITER.
FORGIVE ME.
IT'S ONE OF THE FEW VICES I'M ALLOWED.
FOR ME, IT'S CHOCOLATE.
I DON'T BELIEVE WE'VE MET.
I'M FATHER MIKE. I WORK HERE.
OH, HI.
I'M CARLY DAVIS. I'M SARAH'S MOM.
HIGH-SCORING ARD
FROM THE MULTIPLE DIVORCE FAMILY.
UH, THAT'S MY OTHER VICE.
NOW, LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN.
WORK THE CLOCK DOWN TO 5. JENNIFER, YOU SET THE PICK,
DISH TO SARAH, OK? AND, HONEY, YOU PUT IT UP,
EVERYBODY IN. LET'S GO.
HERE WE GO!
OUR LADY OF INNOCENCE!
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
SET IT UP! SET IT UP!
GO! GO!
ALL RIGHT, LET'S
!
[BUZZER SOUNDS]
OH, GUYS, YOU JUST MISSED IT.
SARAH WON THE GAME.
SHE HAS GOD IN HER SNEAKERS.
OH, SHELDON, STEPHANIE, THIS IS FATHER MIKE.
FATHER.
YOU LOOK FAMILIAR.
DIDN'T YOU WIN THE CHURCH RAFFLE?
OH, I DON'T THINK SO. ACTUALLY, I'M JEWISH.
OH, I'M SO SORRY.
OH! NOT THAT YOU'RE JEWISH, OF COURSE--
THAT I MADE THE MISTAKE.
OH, UH, SHELDON IS SARAH'S FATHER AND MY EX-HUSBAND,
AND STEPHANIE IS SHELDON'S FRIEND
AND MY STEPDAUGHTER'S MOTHER AND JACK'S EX-WIFE.
ARE WE ALL GOING TO HELL?
I DON'T THINK THERE'S ROOM.
2-4-
WHO DO WE APPRECIATE?
MARY IMMACULATE RAMS!
YAY...
MARY IMMACULATE RAMS!
YEAH!
WE'RE GOING TO BE CHAMPS, KIDDO!
I LOVE YOU, JACK! YOU'RE A GENIUS!
I LOVE THIS GAME!
HI, DADDY.
HI.
GREAT GAME, HONEY.
DID YOU SEE IT?
I SCORED THE WINNING BASKET.
GREAT, HONEY.
ALL RIGHT, GUYS. GET YOUR STUFF TOGETHER.
E
.
WHOO!
YES!
I'M SORRY, HONEY. JUST THE GIRLS ON MY TEAM.
HONEY, SARAH CAN'T GO FOR PIZZA
BECAUSE SHE'S GOING TO DINNER WITH SHELDON.
OH, RIGHT. I'M SORRY.
I TOTALLY FORGOT.
OF COURSE. SHE'LL HAVE DINNER WITH YOU.
ALL SET.
LISTEN, KIDDO, YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE'RE NOT GONNA DO PIZZA TONIGHT
BECAUSE YOU ARE GONNA HAVE DINNER
WITH YOUR DAD AND STEPHANIE.
OH, RIGHT.
WE'RE GOING TO LE GRENOUILLE.
OUR TABLE IS, LIKE, 2 FEET FROM THE HARPIST.
THAT'S LIKE SITTING BEHIND HOME PLATE.
OK. WELL, I'LL GO CHANGE.
WE'LL CELEBRATE LATER!
OK.
OK.
SHELDON, SHE'S HAVING SO MUCH FUN
WITH HER SWEATY LITTLE FRIENDS.
HONEY, UH, WAIT.
WHY DON'T YOU GO HAVE PIZZA WITH YOUR TEAM, HUH?
REALLY?!
YEAH. SURE.
THANKS! MICHELLE, ELAINE, WAIT UP!
ARE YOU OK WITH THIS?
SURE. WE'LL HAVE DINNER SOME OTHER TIME.
THANKS.
WE OWE YOU ONE, SHELDON.
COME ON, SHELDON. WE CAN HAVE FUN ON OUR OWN.
AHH, I DON'T KNOW, STEPH.
I FEEL LIKE, UH...
I FEEL LIKE I'M LOSING MY DAUGHTER.
OH, COME ON, SHELDON.
SHE TREATS JACK
AND ME LIKE AN OBLIGATION.
DON'T BE RIDICULOUS!
YOU'RE HER DADDY.
YOU'RE THE BIGGEST HERO SHE HAS.
JACK! JACK! HE'S OUR MAN!
IF HE CAN'T DO IT, NO ONE CAN!
JACK! JACK! HE'S OUR MAN!
IF HE CAN'T DO IT, NO ONE CAN!
JACK! JACK! HE'S OUR MAN!
IF HE CAN'T DO IT, NO ONE CAN!
JACK! JACK! HE'S OUR MAN!
IF HE CAN'T DO IT...
HI.
HEY!
OH, HI, GUYS. HOW WAS YOUR RUN?
OH, IT WAS GREAT.
FOR 2 BLOCKS, WE WERE JOGGING WITH STING.
STING?
IT W
STING.
IT WAS STING. YOU'RE RUINING MY STORY.
WHAT STORY?
THAT WE WERE JOGGING WITH STING. THAT'S ALL I HAVE.
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
JUST ABOUT THE SMARTEST THING I'VE EVER DONE.
AND THAT WOULD BE WHAT?
REMEMBER THE MONEY YOU GAVE ME TO BUY THE SUIT?
I BOUGHT THESE FISH INSTEAD.
ARE THEY...
MAGIC FISH?
DANTE, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BUY A SUIT, A SIMPLE SUIT.
I WAS GOING TO BUY HIM A SUIT
UNTIL I RAN INTO AN OLD BUDDY OF MINE
WHO'S IN THE EXOTIC FISH BUSINESS.
I GOT THESE BABIES AT COST!
THE COST OF A SUIT.
A SUIT AND AN EXTRA PAIR OF PANTS.
GET A LOAD OF THIS.
THE ANGEL FISH IS PREGNANT.
WHEN SHE POPS, I'M GONNA SELL THE WHOLE HERD FOR A BIG PROFIT,
BUY THE SUIT MYSELF, AND PAY YOU GUYS BACK.
YOU KNOW WHAT THE SAD PART IS?
THIS IS THE SMARTEST THING HE'S EVER DONE.
SARAH'S JUST IN HER ROOM GETTING DRESSED.
HEY, SHELDON.
HI.
HEY, SHELDON!
HELLO, COACH.
OH, THANKS FOR LETTING SARAH GO FOR PIZZA.
YEAH. THE KIDS HAD A GREAT TIME.
EXCEPT FOR HELEN. IS SHE OK?
SHE'S FINE.
LISTEN, WHILE WE WAIT, THERE'S A LITTLE FLAG
I'D LIKE TO RUN UP THE POLE.
WHAT'S UP?
NOTHING. HE HASN'T EVEN ATTACHED IT TO THE POLE YET.
IT'S ABOUT SARAH'S BASKETBALL.
I LOVE THE FACT THAT SHE'S PLAYING.
I JUST THINK SHE MIGHT BE PLAYING ON THE WRONG TEAM.
WHAT?
SHE SHOULD BE PLAYING ON MY TEAM.
YOU DON'T HAVE A TEAM.
WELL, THE TEAM AT MY TEMPLE.
YOU DON'T HAVE A TEMPLE.
OH, YES,
I'VE BEEN TEMPLE-SHOPPING FOR QUITE SOME TIME,
AND THIS MORNING I FOUND ONE.
SHELDON, SHE'S VERY HAPPY PLAYING ON MY TEAM.
BUT SHE'D BE HAPPIER ON MY TEAM.
N COACH.
YOU? YOU HATE SPORTS.
OH, NOT HOOPS. I LOVE THE HOOPS!
IS THIS BECAUSE SHE WOULDN'T GO TO DINNER WITH YOU LAST NIGHT?
DON'T BE
THEN WHAT IS IT?
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
I'M A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE FACT
THAT SHE'S PLAYING ON A CHURCH TEAM.
I WANT SARAH EXPOSED TO MY HERITAGE.
YOUR HERITAGE?
ALL I KNOW IS THAT SARAH'S BEING PULLED AWAY FROM ME
SHE'S 13. THE SPICE GIRLS ARE HER PEOPLE.
WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.
AT.
BECAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE A TINY LIBRARIANOT?
AT--AT A FUNERAL.
IN IOWA.
WELL, DON'T SUGARCOAT IT.
LET ME SEE WHAT I'VE GOT IN HERE TO HIP THIS UP.
IF YOU REALLY WANT TO JUDAISM,
THAT'S GREAT. I'M ALL FOR IT,
BUT DON'T USE IT TO GET AT JACK.
HE HASN'T DONE ANYTHING.
I'M CERTAINLY NOT TRYING TO TURN HER INTO A NUN, SHELDON.
HE'S JUST COACHING A BASKETBALL TEAM.
YEAH. YOU KNOW, LAY-UPS, WIND SPRINTS,
M.
OH, AREN'T YOU THE FUNNY CHRISTIAN.
JACK, I PROMISE,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HTER,
AND SHE'S NOT GONNA LOSE HER HERITAGE.
HI, DADDY!
SHALOM, BABY.
HAVE FUN, SWEETHEART.
COME ON. LET'S GET GO
WHAT'S THAT?
IT'S A CROSS. ISN'T IT COOL?
LET'S GO TO LUNCH.
BYE, GUYS.
FROM NOW ON, SHE'S PLAYING FOR THE TEMPLE BETH-ARIEL TIGERS.
HE'S INSANE.
HE'S ACTUALLY TRYING TO YANK HER OFF MY TEAM.
OH, HONEY, HE'S JUST UPSET.
YOU KNOW, HE'S GOING A LITTLE BIT NUTS. IT'LL BLOW OVER.
I MEAN, NOW, THINK ABOUT IT.
WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD LET SHELDON KRAMER COACH A BASKETBALL TEAM?
WHEN SHE LAYS THE EGGS, I'M GONNA GET IT ON VIDEO,
YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE I WASN'T THERE WHEN WILL WAS BORN.
SO, UM, WHICH FISH IS PREGNANT?
CONNIE--THE ANGEL FISH.
I NAMED HER
OH, IS THAT THE ONE WHO'S GETTING MARRIED?
YEAH. TURNS OUT NEITHER ONE OF THEM ARE ANGELS.
WELL, HERE'S THE OLD SUIT.
HOW LONG HAVE I HAD THIS?
I THINK I TOOK YOU HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL IN IT.
I THINK IF YOU PAINT YOUR ANKLES BLACK, YOU'LL BE IN BUSINESS.
GUYS, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND?
SURE.
YEAH.
STYLISH.
DAD BETTER SELL THOSE FISH.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
I'VE GOT A PROBLEM.
WOW!
HOLY COW.
DAD GAVE THIS STUFF TO ME.
HE WANTS ME TO PLAY FOR THE NEW TEMPLE TEAM.
SAY, LOOK HOW THAT DIDN'T BLOW OVER.
I DO WHAT
JACK, I LOVE PLAYING FOR YOU,
BUT DAD'S BEEN TRYING SO HARD TO GET CLOSE TO ME.
I DON'T WANT TO HURT HIS FEELINGS.
WELL, SARAH, I COULD TALK TO YOUR DAD
AND TELL HIM THAT YOU'RE HAPPY PLAYING ON JACK'S TEAM.
I'M SURE HE'LL DROP THIS.
I DON'T WANT TO HURT HIM.
WELL, IF YOU'D RATHER PLAY FOR YOUR DAD,
THEN I'M SURE JACK WOULD BE JUST FINE, RIGHT?
OH, UH, RIGHT. YEAH.
RIGHT.
I KNOW AS GOOD PARENTS
YOU GUYS ALWAYS TRY TO COME UP WITH THE RIGHT ANSWERS.
IS THAT ALL OF THEM?
IT IS FOR NOW.
WELL, I'LL THINK OF SOMETHING.
CONNIE'S POPPIN' FISH!
GET THE VIDEO! GET THE VIDEO!
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
♪
♪
♪
♪
THIS IS FUN.
♪♪
♪
LET'S GO! ALL THE WAY BACK!
LET'S GO! LET'S GO! LET'S GO!
♪
♪♪
OK, YOU GUYS, GOOD PRACTICE. EVERYBODY IN HERE.
AH, COUPLE OF THINGS.
MARIE, YOU'VE GOT TO FOLLOW YOUR SHOTS, OK?
JENNIFER, KEEP YOUR HANDS UP ON DEFENSE, AND, HELEN...
STOP CRYING.
OK, I'LL SEE YOU GUYS TOMO
.
THANK YOU. GOOD PRACTICE.
SARAH, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE?
YEAH. SURE.
SO YOUR DAD'S OK WITH THIS, RIGHT?
YEAH. HE'S FINE. I TALKED TO HIM.
OK, BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO SAY ANYTHING
UNTIL YOU MADE UP YOUR MIND.
I DIDN'T WANT TO PUT ANY UNDUE PRESSURE ON YOU,
BUT NOW THAT YOU'VE CHOSEN THE RAPTORS,
I THINK IT'S FAIR
YEE-HAW!
THAT'S ALL.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
OK. HEY, YOU WANNA GRAB A SLICE ON THE WAY HOME?
NO. I GOTTA HEAD TO THE LIBRARY.
I'LL BE HOME FOR DINNER.
OK. I'LL SEE YOU THERE.
HEY! SNAP PASS!
OH.
SHELDON KRAMER YOUTH CENTER. HURRY!
THE SAM AND IDA BRODSKY YOUTH CENTER.
HEY!
HI, GUYS.
HI, SWEETIE. WHAT'S THAT FOR?
UH, FOR THE FISH. AN OUT OF BOWLS.
CONNIE WENT KIND OF BERSERK IN THE EGG DEPARTMENT.
NOW WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
EVERYTHING'S UNDER CONTROL.
BUT THERE ARE FISH IN MY BLENDER.
I'LL SELL THEM, I PROMISE.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
AND IF Y
WORST CASE SCENARIO-- WE MAKE A GREAT CHOWDER.
WHY AREN'T THESE FISH IN YOUR APARTMENT?
2 WORDS...
MR. WHISKERS.
HI.
I'M HERE TO PICK UP SARAH FOR DINNER.
OH, RIGHT.
STEPHANIE'S WAITING IN THE CAR.
Y?
OH, I JUST GOT IN. I'LL GO CHECK.
[KNOCKING]
SARAH?
♪ SARAH ♪
HONEY?
WHAT?
YOUR DAD'S HERE.
WHAT?
HE'S TAKING YOU TO DINNER.
I TOLD HIM TO WAIT DOWNSTAIRS.
ARE YOU OK?
T THERE
.
SARAH, WHAT'S GOING ON?
I'VE BEEN PLAYING ON BOTH TEAMS.
OH, SARAH.
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
I DIDN'T WANT TO HURT ANYBODY'S FEELINGS.
OH, THAT'S WHY YOU'VE BEEN SO TIRED ALL WEEK.
PLEASE DON'T SAY ANYTHING.
THEY'RE GONNA FIND OUT.
NO, NO. IT'S GONNA WORK.
I MADE THEM BOTH PROMISE NOT TO TALK ABOUT BASKETBALL.
WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY?
I TOLD JACK NOT TO SAY ANYTHING TO DADDY
BECAUSE HIS FEELINGS WERE SO HURT THAT I CHOSE JACK,
AND I TOLD DADDY NOT TO SAY ANYTHING TO JACK
BECAUSE HIS FEELINGS WERE STILL HURT THAT I CHOSE DADDY.
WHERE DID YOU GET THIS FROM?
IT'S WHAT YOU DID WITH GRANDMA AND GRANDPA AT THANKSGIVING.
SALTWATER TAFFY?
NO. THANK YOU.
I LOVE THE VANILLA ONES.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY THEY BOTHER WITH MAPLE.
ALTHOUGH I DO LIKE MAPLE SYRUP.
AH!
WELL, IT'S WHERE MAPLE BELONGS.
AND, I MIGHT ADD, WHERE IT SHOULD STAY.
SHE'LL BE RIGHT OUT.
OH, SHE'LL BE RIGHT OUT.
SHE'S GETTING DRESSED.
SHE'S JUST GETTING DRESSED.
I'M NOT
HE'S NOT DEAF.
THIS ONE IS SOME KIND OF SWIRL.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
HI.
I WOULD HAVE STAYED IN THE CAR,
BUT A MAN KEEPS LICKING THE WINDSHIELD.
WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG?
HEY!
HEY, BUBELEH.
WELL, YOU BETTER GET GOING. ENOUGH CHIT-CHAT.
OK.
NOT TOO LATE, SHELDON.
SHE'S GOT SCHOOL TOMORROW.
AND THE BIG GAME.
NO. THE GAME'S SATURDAY.
NO. THAT'S, UH, TOMORROW.
OK, DINNERTIME!
THE GAME IS SATURDAY.
I THINK I KNOW WHEN MY TEAM IS PLAYING.
SARAH?
WHAT?
WHAT'S GOING ON?
I'VE BEEN PLAYING ON BOTH TEAMS.
WHAT?
SHE WAS THINKING OF YOU GUYS.
SHE DIDN'T WANT TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS.
OH, SARAH.
OH, SWEETIE,
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THIS.
SURE SHE DID.
YOU MADE THIS IMPOSSIBLE FOR HER.
ME?
YEAH. WITH YOUR SATIN SHORTS
AND YOUR PUMP-UP SNEAKERS.
I HAVE THE RIGHT TO HAVE HER IN MY LIFE!
SO THAT IS IT! YOU ARE JEALOUS!
YOU GUYS, STOP IT!
THIS ISN'T HELPING.
YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.
NO. I'M SORRY, TOO.
LOOK, THE ONLY FAIR THING IS TO ASK SARAH WHAT SHE WANTS.
NO. WE AREN'T GONNA PUT HER IN THAT POSITION AGAIN.
NO. IT'S OK. I KNOW WHAT I WANT.
I'M NOT PLAYING ON EITHER TEAM.
WHAT?
I DON'T EVEN THINK I WANT TO PLAY BASKETBALL EVER AGAIN!
LOOK, THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANTED.
SHELDON, IN KEEPING WITH YOUR HERITAGE,
WHICH I KNOW IS VERY IMPORTANT TO YOU,
YOU ARE A TRUE SHMEGEGI.
THAT'S Y FOR SCHM
I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.
YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY STINKS?
SARAH LOVES BASKETBALL.
OK, MAYBE I WAS JEALOUS, ALL RIGHT?
I MEAN, I'M THE GUY IN THE EXPENSIVE SUIT.
HE'S MR. FUN, MR. CHARMING, MR. WARM AND GAY--
OK, IF WE'RE GONNA START WITH THE NAME-CALLING...
SHELDON, IF YOU WANT TO BE THE HERO,
PUT THINGS BACK THE WAY THEY WERE
AND LET HER PLAY BASKETBALL FOR JACK.
OK, THERE ARE PLENTY OF OTHER WAYS FOR ME TO BE HER FATHER,
AND IF SHE STILL WANTS TO PLAY, SHE SHOULD PLAY FOR YOU.
THANK YOU, SHELDON.
WHEN WILL I EVER LEARN? I CAN'T COMPETE WITH YOU.
YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH HIS EX-WIFE.
THAT OUGHT TO COUNT FOR SOMETHING.
OOK AT YOU TWO.
YEAH. WE WERE A BIG HIT AT THE WEDDING.
WE WERE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION
÷÷
UNTIL CONNIE'S WATER BROKE.
WELL, I HAVE TO ADMIT.
I NEVER
YOU'D
H.
I DIDN'T.
I SOLD MY BUICK.
PASS IT! PASS IT!
PUT IT UP, SARAH!
YES!
[BUZZER SOUNDS]
WHOO!
YES!
EVERYBODY IN HERE!
OK, YOU GUYS, GET SOME WATER. GET SOME WATER.
OK, GIRLS, TANK UP.
OH, THANKS, DADDY.
I GOT BUBBLES AND NO BUBBLES.
IT'S WONDERFUL SHELDON .
WELL, IT WAS GREAT OF YOU, FATHER, TO BEND THE RULES
AND LET SHELDON BE AN ASSISTANT COACH,
I MEAN, SO LATE IN THE SEASON.
WELL, CARLY, IT'S NEVER TOO LATE IN THE SEASON
TO SHOW A LITTLE KINDNESS AND UNDERSTANDING.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY UNIVERSAL TELEVISION AND ABC, INC.
OH, NO, NO, NO!
GIMME THAT!
I USED TO BE GREAT AT THIS IN HIGH SCHOOL,
BE ABLE TO DO THIS WHILE I WAS DRIVING.
GUYS, NOT IN THE HOUSE.
HONEY, LET ME JUST SHOW THEM HOW IT'S DONE, OK?
IT'S ALL ABOUT BALANCE, MENTAL AND PHYSICAL, OK?
I'M GONNA GO PUT THIS AWAY NOW,
BUT WERE YOU GUYS TRYING TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS?
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
I'LL GET IT.
CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.
PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE