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Some of the ways that you can actually
get your neighbour to leave you alone
is to show them
that you've actually heard what they're saying
so sometimes it's very important to acknowledge
what the other person is saying to you.
So if your neighbour is saying,
"The fence is bothering me because of A, B and C,"
then it's actually very important for you to say,
"OK, so, I get you, I hear that you're saying
"the fence is bothering me because of A, B and C."
And that actually lets them know
it's not that you're just ignoring them.
It's that you've heard them
but with your knowledge and with the information
you're still deciding not to do something about it.
That's a different thing.
So it's important to acknowledge
what they're saying.
Like I said, maybe repeat a few things back to them
to let them know you've heard them,
which is a very, very important
and very, very key thing.
And then to say, "I hear you
"but I still feel that this is not my problem
"so I don't see I need to do anything about this."
If you believe that your neighbour is approaching you
without cause in regards to
what they believe to be an issue of concern
it might be just a communication breakdown
wherein which they're failing to articulate
their point of view to you.
Or it might be an ongoing issue
that you believe you've already fixed.
Given that you are neighbours
and that there is that ongoing relationship there
it's generally important to ensure that
you're aware of what their ongoing concerns are
and being aware of them
whether or not you can do anything
to try and de-escalate the situation
and then hopefully build that rapport
so that when the next issue arises
there is that opportunity
to canvass those issues with the other party.
Well, if your neighbour keeps
coming back to you about something
and it obviously looks like it's a big problem for them
'cause they're bringing it up
or they just can't seem to let it go,
it might be a good idea to just try and work out
why is it that they're still holding onto it.
Obviously that's something that's important to them
and it may be that
a little bit more discussion around it is what's needed
to try and work out
what is it that they're really trying to say to you.
I mean, if it's the fence or if it's the tree,
why is it that it's such a big deal to them?
What's the problem for them?
It might not just be the fence.
It may be that they have got pets
and they're concerned for the safety of their pets
because their pets are trying
to put their head through the hole in the fence
or perhaps the fence is leaning
or it might be that they've got other concerns
that they really haven't had the opportunity
or maybe they don't know how to communicate those needs
or those concerns to you.
So sitting down
or having some further discussions with them
to try and work out why it's important to them.
Having time, really, to do that
and not rushing it is really important.
And asking them questions
to try and find out why do they keep going back to it.
And just as important
as listening to what your neighbour has to say
and trying to work out where they're coming from,
it's just as important
to be able to let them know where you're at
and why it might not be a good time for you
or why it's not that important to you
or even why it's something that you think
can be put aside for now.
Having the opportunity to really
communicate that to your neighbour.
And, again, there is a centre,
the Dispute SettlementCentre,
where that communication can happen
in a neutral environment
so that you've got people there to help you
go through those things and talk about those things
without feeling intimidated
or without feeling pressured.
'Cause you've set aside some time and you can listen
and they have the opportunity
to ask questions from you as well.
Try and work out whether there's something
that will suit the both of you,
whether there's something
that will work for each of you.