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♪♪
(duck quacking)
Well, they're moving on.
All right, one more group then we gotta get out of here.
I gotta pick up Rebecca from the airport.
She's flying in.
From Los Angeles.
Ooh...
Rebecca is an exchange student
that Korie and I took in about ten years ago.
How long is she staying?
John Luke, you know how long Rebecca's staying?
Hmm?
Never mind.
She spent the last two years
interning in the fashion industry
and today, she flies back home.
No, she's in for a couple days, then she's out of here.
Here we are at the beach taking a family portrait,
There's Rebecca.
Well, you remember what happened the first time.
She's like, "Yeah, I'm gonna be an exchange student for a year."
Ten years later, she's now part of the family.
Either way, we're gonna welcome her back with open arms.
Did y'all get my group text?
About the party?
Uh, no.
What kind of party?
Like a coming home party.
It's a surprise party so don't say anything.
I'll come to the party,
but if you want me to come to the party,
don't send me a group text 'cause then, look,
people will start talking, and my phone keeps buzzing.
All right, here we go,.
Group texts are the worst.
They're like a terrible technological snowball
coming down a mountain.
And you can't stop it.
I'm not into wasting time listening to Tom and Jerry
talk about who they think's gonna win the Super Bowl.
The cartoon characters?
I thought they was the guys that put out that ice cream.
First one person responds.
Then someone tries to be funny.
Then we get off the subject.
I mean, it'll be midnight
and they're still talking about it.
What was the original conversation?
No one knows, no one cares.
Stop having a conversation on my phone.
You can just send one text out, it hits everybody.
You sent one to me?
Yes.
I got the text.
Good job, John Luke.
I like texts, group texts.
Oh, crap, here we go.
With what?
What is that?
Uh... pictures.
Emojis.
Like smiley faces and people and--
Yeah, all right, didn't y'all say y'all had to go to the airport?
Animals, sometimes.
I hate to see y'all go but you don't wanna be late.
All right, John Luke, let's roll.
(John Luke) Emojis.
Little pictures.
(Willie) Pipe down, son.
>> ♪ YOU'LL BE WALKIN' AROUND ♪
♪ ALL OF YOUR LIFE ♪
♪ THE BLOOD IN YOU BOILIN' ♪
♪ THIS WAY ♪
♪ ♪
♪ YOU'LL BE WORKIN' ♪
♪ AND SLAVIN' ♪
♪ YOUR WHOLE LIFE AWAY ♪
♪ ♪
See, there's all kinds of emojis.
Is that a bearded guy?
That's a monkey.
Oh.
Hey, there she is.
All right.
Hey.
Big city girl.
Look at y'all.
♪ L.A. Woman ♪
Hey, John Luke.
♪ L.A. Woman ♪
Yeah.
All right, John Luke, why don't you load them bags up.
Make yourself useful.
Rebecca has been in the wrong L.A.
You know, Los Angeles.
Well, West Monroe's changed a lot.
What's new?
We got a new gas station...
with a drive-thru.
It's got a window-- John Luke!
And hopefully, that hasn't changed her too much.
So you figured everything out about fashion?
Well, I just-- I fashion designed some of my--
Hey, son...
Are you listening to--
Apparently, it taught her to travel home
with five bags for a two-day visit.
Be careful.
Something's not adding up here.
Crap, how many bags did you bring?
Is that your purse?
Nobody told me you had a dog.
Why didn't--
Yeah.
What is it?
Oh, Rebecca, it's got dog poo in it.
Aww...
John Luke, take care of that.
Look, I hate to ruin the moment
by asking how long you gonna stay,
but once I see a dog and all that luggage,
I can't help but think,
"How long are you gonna stay?"
Okay.
Hurry up, John Luke.
Followed by, does this mean I have to put my plans on halt
for making your old room my man cave?
Took the top off.
Man, I was ready for that man cave.
(John Luke) This dog smells horrible.
They've even got a poop emoji.
(Rebecca) Do you use emoji?
Yeah.
Guys don't really use them.
(Willie) John Luke.
♪♪
(Kay) Hey, Si.
What's going on?
How you feeling?
Pretty rough.
You come to get your soup?
(sniffling) Ahh.
You're making me gag, Si.
Yeah.
Hey.
Si, where were you this morning?
(Si snorting)
I'm pretty sure I got the bird flu
from carrying all these dead ducks.
Right.
Bird flu?
Bird flu probably is the only thing Si has not had.
(coughing)
I have had the Dragon Pox,
the Andromeda strain,
the black breath...
Have you seen the dude smile lately?
Talk about gingivitis and black breath.
And that stunk.
Scurvy, rickets...
(blowing nose)
... gluten intolerance,
mad cow disease...
... space dementia.
Which is kinda strange
because I've never been to space.
... antivirus, shanty virus...
You feel like the walls are closing in on you.
... phantom limb syndrome,
Hey, look here, hypoallergenic.
And of course, sausage fingers.
These things swoll up like balloons.
Who can figure that?
(sniffling)
Where's Christine?
Oh, she went to visit some friends.
Si, you shouldn't be home alone.
Oh, I'm okay, I'm like that young kid that was home alone.
Macaulay Culkin, I'll be all right.
He's a grown man, Kay, he can make it by himself.
As long as the burglars don't try to break in,
Yeah.
You might ought to stay here then since you're sick.
No, no, don't worry about it.
Ah, he don't need to stay.
I might have to rig up
some paint buckets or something for 'em.
Phil, he needs to stay here.
He need to hit the road, as they say in the South.
(sniffling)
There are a few things on planet Earth
that you just can't develop an immunity to.
I don't wanna impose.
Oh, you're not imposing.
"Si-crobes..."
...are some of those things.
Si, you're staying.
Okay, if you twist my arm.
Ain't nobody twisting nobody's arm around here.
Your bag?
Yeah, I got a few things in it I like when I'm sick.
Hmm.
(coughing)
(Kay) Oh, dear.
(Phil) Si-crobes.
♪♪
Aww... she is so cute.
She's so cute.
What do you think?
Thank you.
Pants are a little tight but--
Look at her eating that carrot.
(Willie clears throat)
Oh, wow...
Mr. L.A. man himself.
♪ L.A. Woman ♪
John Luke!
(Korie chuckling) Slim fit.
Y'all like it?
Thank you for bringing me something from L.A.
Yeah, it looks so good on you.
All right, y'all get Rebecca's luggage up to her room.
I need to talk to your mom.
Yes, sir.
I really don't think I can sit down in these.
The more I think about it, the more I get worried
that I don't know how long Rebecca's gonna stay.
That was sweet of Rebecca to bring you that.
Yeah, a little tight.
So now I've gotta have
an uncomfortable conversation with Korie.
How long is she staying?
Kids nowadays live at home longer than they used to.
I just don't want her to turn into Jep.
Jep lived with Mom and Dad forever and now look at him.
Come on, you can talk to her about it today while we're gone.
I need you to get her distracted
'cause I gotta set up for this party.
Why am I-- what?
You wanna go decorate?
That's what I thought.
All right, I gotta get ready for the surprise party.
Hold her like a baby.
No, I'm not holding a dog like a baby.
(Korie) Burp the baby.
(Kay) It's going off like an alarm.
(beeping)
Oh, well, that's actually Bobo and JJ's.
What the-- that's a dog thermometer?
Well, it hadn't been in their rear end.
It's been in their mouth.
Well, I don't want that nasty thing, good grief.
I'm sick enough without, you know, getting doggie breath.
You've got a fever of 99.
Whoo, better call the ambulance.
(Kay) I'm gonna go get you a cold compress for your face.
(scoffing)
(coughing)
Hey, you wanna watch a movie?
I got some movies in my bag here.
What kind of movies?
Well, I got "Air Bud."
"Air Bud."
Look, it's about a dog, okay, that plays basketball.
Yeah.
These are classics.
Look, I'm a connoisseur when it comes to animal sports movies.
I got "Air Bud" when he's playing basketball.
"Air Bud" is an epic classic
that spawned a bunch of classics.
"Air Bud: Golden Retriever."
Huh?
It blows "Rudy" right out of the water.
We can go with "Air Bud 4--"
All right? "Seventh Inning Fetch."
Hey, that's a classic one there.
Hey. look, it made "Field of Dreams"
look like the "Rookie of the Year."
We got Air Bud 5. "Air Bud: Spikes Back."
They're all great.
Come on.
That ain't realistic.
Not realistic?
If it's Bourne, it's realistic.
Yeah.
No?
Yeah.
That is correct.
Could the dog do what Bourne does?
Yeah, if he wanted to.
But he's into sports.
Through the years, you know, whatever Si has caught
in the way of microbes,
I've developed a strong immunity to all that.
So you'll take a dog playing basketball over Bourne?
Yeah.
No.
The only thing I have not
developed an immunity to...
...is "Air Bud."
You don't want this crap.
(Phil) 'Cause evidently it affects the brain.
(Si) ♪ "Air Bud" ♪
♪♪
You know why the women don't let us plan the parties?
Amen.
I actually think it's gonna look really nice.
It sure is pink.
That's my point.
(Jep) They over-think this.
(Jase) This is a little much
for a coming-home party.
This is ridiculous.
Women love to plan parties.
Oh.
And no detail is too small.
All you need is food...
...balloons, streamers.
Battleship.
Every day would be a Quinceañera
if it was left up to the women.
You need some type of weaponry.
(high-pitched helium voice)
(laughter)
(helium voice) Party planning committee right here, this guy.
You feel lucky, punk?
Well, do you?
(laughter)
(helium voice) This party ain't gonna be
True.
♪♪
(bell ringing)
(bell ringing)
Si, what are you doing.
My throat hurts so me and Kay worked it out.
Thank you.
(slurping)
It's delicious, thank you.
All right, well, you ring if you need me, okay?
(slurping)
Family is one of the most important things in life.
And the Robertsons always look out for one another.
What do you need?
Miss Kay, I'm overrun with tissues,
plus, these are hurting my nose.
It just pains me to see one of our own feeling ill.
That's why I always volunteer to nurse them back to health.
(bell ringing) Miss Kay,
Soup for my sinus, hand sanitizer.
Is this thing working? Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling.
Vick's Vapo Rub, bird flu.
What is it, Si?
Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot I had bell in my hand.
Plus, with me, he gets service with a Miss Kay smile.
Give me that.
Yeah, but how am I gonna call you?
Figure it out.
I was wondering when that was gonna happen.
(coughing)
You got the bird flu too?
But hey, put in "Air Bud" seven and eight.
It'll chase all them vibes away.
(Si) I love that dog.
♪♪
All right! This is awesome, isn't it?
It's just cold.
It's awesome. This is awesome.
So you got something big going in L.A.?
You got a big job lined up or...
Uh, not really.
I'm just kinda thinking about,
I don't know, just moving back home and...
Just hang out for a while.
Awesome.
All right, I've danced around the subject long enough.
I read this whole thing about boomerang kids.
Kids that go off to college,
come back home, and then never really leave.
Do you have a job here? You got something lined up?
You been talking to anyone?
Mm, not really.
Phil and Kay did that with Jep.
I mean, the dude lived with mom and dad
till he was, like, 30.
You met Uncle Jep, right?
Yeah, he's cool. He knows about fashion.
Oh, good Lord.
Please, don't end like Jep.
You gotta work and get out there.
You got all that education. You gotta use it.
Yeah, I will.
She is gonna end up like Jep, isn't she?
Do you plan on living with us till you're 30?
Is that what you're worried about?
Nah, we just have some concerns.
I actually am thinking about starting a business.
Yeah.
I got a business plan right here I can show you.
Oh, crap, you shoulda told me this a long time ago.
You have learned a lot since you've been here.
I thought you had some concerns.
It's really more Korie's concerns than mine.
You know how she gets.
(Willie) I was fine with it the whole time.
(Godwin) I love yoga.
I'm pretty good at it.
I think you got yoga confused with yogurt.
(laughter)
Wait...
(gasping) What-- what is that?
Congratulations? Oh, boy.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Guys, it's supposed to be "welcome home,"
not "congratulations."
Robertson men seem to have selective hearing.
It was on sale.
Look, "congratulations."
She-- she'll love it.
Actually, I don't know if it's selective hearing
the Robertson men have.
They really could be deaf
from all that duck hunting they've done.
Y'all have not gotten very far.
Mm-hmm.
(imitating gunfire) What? What, honey?
Jep, I thought you were gonna get the food.
Mmm, I forgot.
They're on their way. Like, y'all gotta go.
Yeah.
Jase, you've gotta put up those lights.
Why am I always the light guy?
What?
No one ever leaves a party and says,
"Oh, nice decorations.'
That's a two-man job. Gumbo's heavy.
They leave the party saying,
"That was the greatest gumbo I've ever had."
We're, like, running out of time.
We got still decorating to do.
If you're discussing the decorations,
I guarantee you that was a bad party.
Okay, just move out, and we'll finish this.
Thank you.
(Missy) Where are the directions?
(Jase) You don't need the directions.
Good luck.
♪♪
Come on, let's get that gumbo.
There he is.
You better take them wrist bands off.
Oh, yeah, nothing quite excites me more than a gumbo.
♪ We're here for the gumbo ♪
If you wanna make a party work,
forget the pink frilly ribbons and all the confetti.
Hot gumbo. Open the door, Jase.
Is it gonna burn my seat?
Might make it shrivel a little,
but it ain't gonna burn a hole in it.
All the Robertsons need
is about 30 to 40 pounds of meat
stewing in an iron vat.
Let 'er ride.
I would rather eat a great gumbo
in a dark alley,
than a crappy gumbo in the Taj Mahal.
All right, boys, there's your gumbo.
It's a good one. Real good.
Where's Mom and Si?
Well, microbes got 'em.
Si had it first, it bounced off him, and she got it.
No immune system, either one of 'em.
Didn't she cook that?
She cooked that, but see, Jase,
gumbos are boiled.
Yeah, but she had her hands... on the pot.
Yeah, I'm not sure I'm gonna eat it.
I say it's best to get 'em and get it over with.
Once you have it, you won't get it.
Odds are you're gonna get it.
Why don't you just catch it and get it over with?
Get it now or get it later.
I think I'm gonna choose later.
What you're saying is, like, you could get stabbed,
so why don't you just stab yourself...
and get it over with, that's-- that's--
Catching microbes have nothing to do with stabbing people.
No, you're way off, Jep.
So I guess you, Mom, and Si ain't coming to the party?
I hate to party while they feeling ill.
So I'll comfort them. (clicks tongue)
We'll send your condolences.
May you never barf up your gumbo.
All right, thank you.
Have fun at the party.
(Jase) I smell microbes.
♪♪
Okay, hot gumbo.
Whoo, be careful of the gumbo.
Oh, yeah.
I'm so excited to welcome Rebecca back home
with this surprise party.
Installed.
I'm shocked that it all came together so well.
What?
Don't eat the gumbo.
I mean, Rebecca's gonna love it.
What do y'all think?
(Jase) This is one of the most festive looks
the warehouse has ever known.
(laughter) That's true.
Hey, y'all, she's coming.
Get ready.
(Willie) So now that you're all into business,
I wanted to show you around the warehouse.
This is basically what you put in the paper.
This is it in real life.
So I just wanted to show you around
so you could see what a big business looks like.
(all) Surprise!
Congratulations!
Thank you. Oh, thank you!
Course, I'm happy that Rebecca's come to visit.
Why wouldn't I be?
Thanks. Thanks.
Then again, my house has four kids still living in it.
Thank you.
I mean, should she pay rent? 'Cause she's 24 so...
That's so nice!
At 24, I had a couple of kids.
Just saying.
Thank y'all so much.
We've been working on it all day.
Is that why we went to get ice cream?
I was the distracter.
Oh, you were great.
(laughter)
All right, before we get to partying too much,
let's have a prayer.
All right, come on, kids, gather up.
Father, we're so thankful for everything
you've given us, our family.
Thank you that Rebecca's back.
And we just pray that you bless her in her career.
And we just pray that we always look to you in everything we do.
And all this food, Jesus, amen.
(all) Amen.
All right, party time.
Get on that gumbo.
(Willie) One of the few things you can count on in life
is that it won't always be easy.
Whether you're trying to pave the way for your kids' success,
or you've contracted the bird flu,
the good news is in the Robertson family...
(all) Aww...
Someone will always be there to help
with open arms and unconditional love.
The best thing about family is knowing
someone will always be there to take care of you,
even if you have the bird flu.
Hey, wait a minute, where are Phil, Kay, and Si?
Boo-yah! They can't guard him.
Dude, I mean, he slammed it right in his face.
Si, you do realize that none of this is real.
What are you talking about?
You just seen him dunk the ball right then.
In your face!
(Si) Hey, I love that dog.