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Narrator: In this clip you'll see Jem and Danny go a step further towards resolving
their differences. They'll talk it out. The first skill to master is to Listen. Really
focus on what your partner is saying. If you listen well it's more likely that your partner
will listen to what you have to say. When you apologise it doesn't mean admitting
you are completely wrong and giving in. It's about spotting where you might be at fault
and giving some ground to make it easier for you both to find a way forward.
It helps to acknowledge that you have understood. This means you let your partner know that
you understand where they are coming from, even if you don't agree.
Speak for Myself means starting with "I" instead of "You". Try not to make assumptions about
what your partner is thinking. Humour can have a role to play in defusing
conflict. If you use humour and time it well it can help to lift the mood that descends
over you when you are locked in a row. And remind you both of the bond you share.
Danny: What's for tea?
Jem: What?
Danny: Nothing. Jem: What? Danny: Nothing. It's just that we had this yesterday
Danny: I'm sorry babes, I didn't mean to have a poke at you.
Jem: Look I'm sorry I haven't had the chance to sort anything else out. The kids have run
me ragged all day Danny: It's fine babes, it's better than throwing
food away. Danny: At least it's cooked in the middle
today. Danny: It's nice to see you smile again
When I've been coming home from work lately it's like you've been waiting for me with
a list of more things to do. Now look, I am happy to help out, but not
the minute I get in the door. I just want to feel like you're pleased to
see me Jem: Look babes I get it. I work hard too,
the difference is you get to leave the house and talk to people. I don't.
I know you're working hard, but you're a dad too. Sometimes I just can't manage it all
on my own, especially on days like today. Danny: I do appreciate what you do for me.
I do appreciate what it takes to keep the house going, the kids, cooking, cleaning.
I do appreciate it. But when I get in the door I just need to wind down for a bit.
Jem: So do I. The trouble is I am always at work.
Danny: That's why I gave up football training, so I could come home and give you a hand and
so we could spend some time together. Jem: Yeah I get that. I know everything you've
given up but that just makes me feel worse. Danny: I just miss the lads
Jem: Yeah I miss my friends too. I haven't seen anyone in ages.