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In this life. Nothing worth having comes from Walmart
so believe in the illuminati. you can do Brad Pitt.
If you just stay on the right couch cushion you can go, so far.
[laughter]
This life needs to be cherished because you only live once,
unless you believe in reincarnation.
And don't let your lasagna be lasagna. Yesterday, you said you liked Italian food.
SO JUST EAT IT!
if we wait until we’re ready
we’ll be waiting until my mom runs out of hairspray
Keep on with the force, don't Don't stop 'til you get a job
Don’t you know that life isn't about the amount of breaths we take,
but the number of sticks of gum we chew to make our breath tolerable to others
[laughter]
so live for the nights you’ll remember with the friends you’ll never call again
if you accidentally have sex with them
[laughter]
LIFE, is what happens, while you were busy making pancakes.
Everyone knows that waffles are where it’s at!
So come on and sing like Beyonce,
love like Adele,
and dance like Shakira!
cause everything happens for a Klondike bar
and if life hands you lemons, carve them into tiny ships
and allow a colony of ants to live out their dream of being pirates
and when things get tough keep calm and carry all the grocery bags in one trip.
You miss 100% of the *** shots that you don’t take
so be the change you wish to see in your pockets when you walk by
a Coinstar Machine.
and most importantly,
Don't stop, ***.
Hold on to the ceiling fan California, aliens
oh, whoa.
[applause]