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My sister-in-law, who's half-black half-white, but looks white: blue eyes, whiter than most
white folks, very white. She and I, you know, we kind of grew up together. We raised our
children together so they're first cousins and you, it's wonderful, very, very, multicultural
family. So we're going into Safeway, one day and Kathleen, my sister-in-law is in front
of me. And she's, you know, writing a check for her groceries. Now my daughter, who at
the time was ten years old was standing with me, and I was directly behind her, you know,
getting ready to get my groceries. So, Kathleen comes up, and the checker who's a strawberry
blonde, freckled, very delightful, warm, you know, the checker, this young woman is talking
to Kathleen "Hey, how you doing? Isn't it a nice day today?" They're just chatting up,
and she says "Yes." So Kathy writes her check and she steps off to the side with her groceries
'cause she's waiting for me. Of course, again, Kathleen looks white right? So I come up.
No conversation, she looks up at me, absolutely no just little chatter and I, I write my check.
My daughter, however, is ten notices immediately the difference in how she responds to me.
So I write my check, and she goes, "I'm gonna need two pieces of I.D." At which point, my
daughter looks at me and she gets very, very embarrassed, and tears are kind of coming
up in her eyes like "Mommy, you're not gonna, you're not gonna let her do this? Why is she
doing this to us? Right?" So I'm trying to figure out what I should do 'cause behind
me are two elderly white women. Right? Now, I'm thinking, okay, so then I become the angry
black woman right? And they're gonna be. And I just, I'm just trying to second-guess all
the drama. So then, I, I just give her the two pieces of I.D. You know, some things you
just got to choose your battles, right? And then it gets worse. She pulls out the bad
check book right? So, this is the book that shows the people who've written bad checks.
So she starts searching for my license in the bad checks at which point, it's just out
of control now. Just as I'm standing there trying to decide what to do, and this is really
deeply humiliating and now my daughter is in full blown emotionally upset, who's ten.
My sister-in-law walks back over and she steps in, and she says, "Excuse me, why are you
doing this?" And the checker goes "What do you, what do you mean?" She goes, "Why are
you taking her through all of these changes? Why are you doing that?" She goes, "Well,
um, this is our policy." She goes, "No, it's not your policy because you didn't do that
with me." "Oh well, I know you, you've been here." She goes, "No, no she's been here for
years, I've only lived here for three months." And so at this point, two white elderly ladies
go "Uh! I can't believe what this checker has done with this woman, it is totally unacceptable!"
At which point, the manager walks over. So the manager walks over and says, "Is there
a problem here?" And then my sister-in-law responds. She goes, "Yes, there is a problem
here. Here's what happened." So you see, she used her white privilege and even though Kathleen
is half-black and half-white she recognizes what that means; and she made the statement.
She pointed out the injustice and she, as a result of that one act, influenced everyone
in that space. But what would've happened? I can't know for certain, had the black woman
said "This is unfair, why are you doing this to me?" Would it have had the same impact?
But Kathleen knew that she walked through the world differently than I did and she used
her white privilege to educate and make right a situation that was wrong. That's what you
can do, every single day.