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>>He says the problem with teachers is
what's a kid gonna learn from someone
who decided his best option in life is
to become a teacher? [laughter]
He reminds the other dinner guests that
it's true what they say about teachers:
that those who can do and those who can't teach.
[laughing]
I decide to bite my tongue instead of his.
And resist the urge to remind the other
dinner guests that it's also true what they say
about lawyers because we're eating after all
and this is polite conversation.
[laughter/ applause]
I mean you're a teacher Taylor -
be honest, what do you make?
And I wish he hadn't done that. [laughter]
Asked me to be honest. Because you see
I have a policy about honesty and *** kicking
which is if you ask for it,
then I have to let you have it.
[cheers/ applause]
You wanna know what I make?
I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could!
[applause]
I can make a C+ feel like a Congressional Medal of Honor
and I can make an A- feel like a slap in the face!
How dare you waste my time with anything less
than your very best!
You wanna know what I make?
I make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall
in absolute silence. [cheering]
No! You cannot work in groups.
No, you can't ask a question, so put your hand down!
Why won't I let you go to the bathroom?
Because you're bored and
you don't really have to go, do you? [applause]
You wanna know what I make?
I make parents tremble in fear
when I call home at around dinner time.
Hi, this is Mr. Mali. I hope I haven't called at a bad time.
I just wanted to talk to you about something
that your son did today. [laughter]
He said leave the kid alone!
I still cry sometimes, don't you?
And it was the noblist act of courage
that I have ever seen! [applause]
I make parents see their children
for who they are and who they can be!
You wanna know what I make?
I make kids question. I make 'em criticize.
I make 'em apologize and mean it!
I make 'em write write write and then I make 'em read.
I make 'em spell.
Definitely beautiful. Definitely beautiful.
Definitely beautiful. Over and over again until
they will never misspell either one
of those words again!
I make them show all their work in
math and then hide it on their final drafts in English.
I make 'em realize that if you got
this then you follow this and if somebody tries to
judge you based on what you make you give them this!
[applause]
Let me break it down for you!
Let me break it down for you so you know
what I say is true.
I make a *** difference!
Now what about you? [applause]