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OH, SAY YOU'LL BE MINE, MISS SCARLETT.
WHY DANCE WITH HIM WHEN YOU CAN DANCE WITH ME?
FIDDLEDEEDEE.
I GOT MY HEART SET ON EATING BARBECUE TODAY.
WHO IS THAT DISTINGUISHED YOUNG MAN OVER THERE?
THAT'S CAPTAIN BUNDISTABLE.
HE'S THE BIGGEST REFINISHER IN ALL ATLANTA.
DON'T YOU PAY HIM NO NEVERMIND.
I TELL YOU WHAT, BOYS -- I'LL DANCE WITH THE FIRST ONE
THAT BRINGS ME ANOTHER MESS OF RIBS.
THAT WOULD BE ME.
HOW DO SIX PEACH COBBLERS SOUND?
THAT SOUNDS MIGHTY FINE. Y'ALL SHAKE A LEG NOW.
[ BUZZ, BUZZ ]
, BU]
OH, AFTER YOU.
.
AND I'M HENRY V, PART ONE. JACK D. WI
O."
SIC LIGHTING EMPORIUM... AND YOU'RE IN FOR A TREA
AND WE'ROPRIETOR,
OPRIETO,
FRANK FASONE.
FRANKIE, HOW YOU DOING?
NOW YOU CAN'T LEAVE.
NOW YOU CAN'T LEAVE.
TO TELL US
TO TELL US
ABOUT SOME OF THESE LIGHTS?
?
THIS IS A CAST IRON --
CAME OFF THMY UNCLE USED TO LEAN ON THESE
ON THESE
ON THE WAY HOME FROM THE TAP ROOM.
SO YOU DO A LOT SO YOU DO A LOT
PEOPLE GET RID OF STUFF,
SMART GUYS COME
SO YOU CAN REFURBISH --
,
WAREHOUSE UPSTAIRS
FILLED WITH LAMPS THIS IS BRONZE.*** FANGING OH
THIS CAME OUT OF CHESTNUT HILL.
OF CHESTNUT.
WHERE THE RICH PTHE
E HANGERS.
THE ENTRANCEWAY.
NOW, THESE FOUR
NEW JERSEY.
THE SECRET TO THESE
M
YEAH, YOLEANING THEM.
LEANI.
JUST REWIRE THEM
JUST LIKE THAT.
JUST LIKE THAT.
GO FOR?
GO FOR?
.
.
FOUR OF THEM FOR US?
GIVE ME 12.
.
NOW HERE
OF FIGURATIVE LAMPS.
OF FIGURATIVE LAMPS.
OF THE STAIRWAY.
TAIRWAY.
H.
HE .
THEY ALL USUALLY LIT UP.
THESE LADIES -- THIS LADY, WHO'S SHE?
SHE DID FLOORS, DIDN'T SHE?
THAT LADY IS SAYING,eep voice ] THAT'S OHESE JUGS AREW
T W"
THAT'S DON QUIXOTE, THEY'RE ALL VICTORIAN,
AND THAT'S A NICE PAINTED ON GLASS.
WE'RE GOING TO LOOK AT SOME POLE LAMPS
WE WOULD LIKE TO WORK ON IN THE SHOW.
A BIG SELECTION.
AMPS
YOU CAN MAKE YOUR OWN LAMP,
PUT,
THEN.
LET'S GO .
P
THIS IS ICKED OUT.SHOW US HOW THIS CONCEPT WORKS.
ICKED OUT.
SOME N
WE'LL PUT THE ALLIGATOR CLIPS ON THE FITTING.
R
AL,
THE BULBS GHT BULB BLE.
FIRE WHEN READY.
AND WE'RE GOING TO BE FOLLOWING
THE SAME KIND OF CONCEPT
WITH ALL THE PARTS THAT WE GOT.
FRANKIE IS THE KING OF LAMPS.
FRANK, THANK YOU.
TAKE IT EASY, FRANK.
THIS?
HONEST TO GOD, FRANK --
COME ON!
AUDREY HEPBURN, "FUNNY FACE."
I GOT SOME WORK IN THE FIELD TO DO.
CAN I HAVE BROWN RICE, PLEASE?
DID YOU EVER SEE SO MANY BLOODY LAMP?
LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT BLOODY LAMPS.
T
ADEMY.
.
.
AROUND THE MAYPOLE.
AROUND THE.
AND IT SMELLS LIKE...
TEEN
TUFF
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS. WHAT IS IT?
NAFTA.
N-.
N-A-F-T-A.
NO, IT'S NAPHTHA -- N-A-P-T-H-A.
ALL YOU HAVEE A NEW LAMP,
TTLE THINGS UP.
SEE WHAT THESE ARE?
AND THEN YOU
THAT'S A .
BUT WHAT ARE THESE CALLED?
LITTLE, HINGS.
HINGS.
EW.
.
LOCK ELEME
THESE LINES OVHEY CAL
A CENTRAL SHAFT,E
PULL OFF WE START OUR ACCOUTERMENTS.
I'M STILL DOING THIS HERE.
CERTAIN ELEMENTS.
.
.
AND WHEN THE WIRE,
YOU GOT THIS
THIS
ER FIT UP THERE.ER FIT
WHAT I DO IS I TAKE THIS KNIFE
IKE THAT.
T@ESE THINGS ARE REALLY .T@ESE THINGS ARE REALLY
WHILE I BEON THIS LAMP.
SANDED AND PRIMED. IT'S A QUICK PRIM.
■■■■■■■■■
I'VE RESISTED THAT ADVANCES FOR ANOTHER NIGHT.
THERE'S NOTHING HE CAN DO TO GET ME TO SUBMIT --
NOTHING!
ALL THAT RESISTING
HAS MADE ME FEEL QUITE FAINT AND PECKISH.
ALL RIGHT, HOLD STILL YOU TWO.
ALL RIGHT, THERE'S THE SWITCH.
AND THERE, I THINK I'VE PROBABLY MADE A LAMP
NOT QUITE AS UGLY AS THE PREVIOUS TWO.
AND IT'S TIME TO BLESS SAME.
LUKE, JOHN LOCKE IS COMING IN HIS EMPIRICAL WALKER.
I WENT TO COLLEGE.
ALL THAT'S LEFT IS TO PUT MY HARP ON.
HERE'S A LITTLE ONE FOR TODAY
BECAUSE THE BIG ONE WAS TOO BIG.
THAT'S ALL YOU DO TO SNAP IT ON,
AND THEN YOU PULL THESE LITTLE THINGS DOWN --
WHATEVER THE HELL THEY MAY BE.
AND THEN THE NEXT THING -- WELL, WHICH SHADE SHALL I CHOSE?
PROBABLY THE ONLY ONE I HAVE.
AND AS YOU CAN SEE, THE RED PICKS UP THE RED.
DESIGNWISE, WE'VE DONE AS MANY OTHERS DESIGNERS HAVE DONE --
STARTED BIG, WORKED UP GRACEFULLY
SO THAT IT GOES UP TO THE SKY,
SO THAT IT OFFERS ITS BEAUTY TO GOD.
I'M GOING TO SHOOT MYSELF.
WE GOT TO PUT A LITTLE PLATE HERE
TO MAKE A STEADY PLATFORM FOR OUR SHADE.
I LOOK UNDERNEATH. COME ON, GET IN THERE.
AND THE LAST THING WE DO IS PUT ON THE FINIAL,
WHICH IS THE FINAL THING TO PUT ON.
NOW THAT'S A NICE LAMP.
OH, YEAH!
OH, YEAH, JOE, WHAT ABOUT YOU?
I'M GRAINING OVER HERE, AND IT'S GRATING ON ME.
LET ME TELL YOU.
I GOT DIFFERENT COLORS -- LOOK, SEE?
REMEMBER RITTER TANGY?
LOOKS LIKE THE TAKEOUT BOX IN THE DRIVE-IN MOVIE.
I'M EVEN MARBLEIZING THE PIZZA BOX HERE.
NOW I'M PUTTING IN SOME DARK COLORS.
I GOT SOME VEINS IN HERE.
AND WE'RE GOING
JUST LIKE THAT THERE. AROUND HERE.
A LOT OF THE BLACK MARKS, ESPECIALLY IN YELLOW MARBLE,
ARE IRON SPOTS.
THEY I-YON SPOTS.
LET'S MAKE A -- I'LL PUT IT IN HERE --
A DARK CORE.
JUST LIKE ME -- GOT A DARK CORE.
NOTES HOME TO MY MOTHER -- "HE HAS A DARK CORE.
HE WATCHES TOO MANY OF THOSE UNIVERSAL HORROR FILMS."
THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU IN CATHOLIC SCHOOL.
IT'S NOT "WEAK IN MATH" --
"HE THINKS HE'S FRANKENSTEIN."
"P.S. -- HIS SOUL IS DISEASED.
"A LITTLE SLOW ON ENGLISH LIT,
AND HIS SOUL IS DISEASED."
NOW LOOK, RIGHT OVER HERE.
I'LL GO WITH SOME WHITE RIGHT ON THE SIDE.
THERE WE GO.
AND WITH THE BADGER -- HOY, HOY, HOY, HO!
THERE WE GO. THAT'S ALL WE NEED.
THAT LOOKS PRETTY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK? HUH? HUH?
I THINK -- NOT ONE OF YOUR NUNS
HAS THEIR OWN TV SHOW, I CAN TELL YOU THAT.
NO. AND I'M WAITING FOR ONE OF THEM TO WRITE ME A LETTER.
OKAY, GOING TO PAINT IN HERE.
SEE THESE RINGS HERE? WE'RE GOING AROUND THE PAINT.
I HAD TO GO UP TO THE SECOND FLOOR, SEE?
STEP UP THERE. THAT'S A PAINT CAN.
GOT TO IMPROVISE WHEN YOU'RE DOING THIS STUFF.
AND YOU PAINT USING THIS, SO I CAN PUT MY HAND ON
'CAUSE OUT HERE THERE'S NOTHING.
SO IN HERE, IF THE LAMP DOESN'T MOVE,
A
YOU KNOW, WEEBLES WOBBLE, BUT THEY DON'T FALL DOWN.
THAT LAMP IS GOING TO FALL DOWN.
NOW YOU HAVE TO TURN IT.
GOT TO COME BACK TO THE FIRST FLOOR.
TURN IT AROUND THIS WAY. UP TO THE SECOND FLOOR.
AND THIS GIVES YOU THAT DECORATIVE QUALITY
LE.
SEE THAT?
ISN'T THAT PRETTY?
NOW, ONCE YOU GET DONE THERE, IF YOU LOOK AT THE BOTTOM --
AND I GOT THE WIDER BRUSH NOW.
I JUST FINISH THIS OFF HERE. AND THIS IS JAPAN COLORS.
LET THESE DRY FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS.
SURE. IN THE STUDIO, 1 1/2 HOURS.
I'LL LET IT DRY,
AND THEN I'LL SPRAY IT WITH LACQUER JUST FROM A CAN.
AND THEN YOU COULD SAND IT DOWN LIGHTLY.
WHEN YOU SPRAY THE LACQUER, SAND BETWEEN COATS.
THEN TACK-RAG, AND APPLY ANOTHER COAT.
NOT A HEAVY COAT, IT WILL DRIP.
WHEN YOU GET YOUR COATS ON,
YOU CAN BUFF IT OUT WITH SOME 0000 STEEL WOOL,
AND WAX IT, AND IT WILL LOOK JUST LIKE MARBLE.
JOE, CAN YOU COME HERE AND HELP ME, PLEASE?
OH, YEAH!
DO I HAVE TO HELP YOU?
NAH, BUT JUST COME OVER HERE ANYWAY.
REALLY? 'CAUSE MY HANDS ARE ALL...
OH, WELL THEN JUST STAND THERE.
YOU REMEMBER WHAT DONNA REED WORE
IN "FROM HERE TO ETERNITY."
SHE WAS A WAHINE,
AND SHE BELONGED TO MONTGOMERY CLIFT,
WHO IN REAL LIFE,
WOULDN'T HAVE KNOWN WHAT TO DO WITH HER,
BUT THAT'S ANOTHER STORY FOR ANOTHER TIME.
I'M USING A HOT-GLUE GUN TO DO FRINGE
TO MAKE THIS UGLY LAMPSHADE EVEN UGLIER.
THE HOT-GLUE GUN, THE TINY, LITTLE BEAD.
END IT THERE, SMOOSH IT BACK.
I'LL CUT THIS PIECE OFF JUST A LITTLE LONG.
AND THEN, JUST LIKE DOING GIMP, I'LL FOLD IT BACK UNDER
SO AS NOT TO GET A FRAYED END.
I'LL JUST LAY THIS PART DOWN IN THERE.
DOWN IN THERE.
IT'S DONE.
GOD BLESS.
LOOK AT THAT WATCH.
IT'S FIVE MINUTES TO LON CHANEY SR.,
THE ORIGINAL PHANTOM OF THE OPERA.
AH, IF HE KNEW BER DID...
HE'D BE TURNING OVER IN HIS GRAVE.
ISN'T THAT THE REACTION EVERYBODY HAS?
HERE'S THE LAMP THAT I MARBLEIZED.
HERE'S THE "BEFORE"...
AND THE STUNNING "AFTER."
WELL, IT'S DIFFERENT, .
YOU CAN SEE FROM THE BASE,
IT'S ALL NICE AND NEAT AND CLEAN.
AND I CLEANED THE JEWELS.
IT'S BAD TO HAVE DIRTY JEWELS.
THEY HAD PAINT ON.
AND THE SHADE, I GOT THE ALBERT FINIAL
IT DOESN'T FIT,
SO WE'LL HAVE TO GO BACK TO FRANKIE AND GET IT.
AND OVER HERE, WE HAVE THE FABULOUS TIFFANY LAMP.
IT USED TO BE IN PIECES.
HERE'S THE "BEFORE"...
LOOK AT THIS.
AND THE "AFTER." I LIKE A NICE PAUSE.
I LIKED IT BETTER ON THE "BEFORE."
OH, BUT YOU COULD CARRY IT IN A BOX.
WE GOT TO GO BACK TO FRANKIE NOW.
YOU KNOW THE BEST PART?
IT AIN'T THAT OTHER GUYS LAMP STORE.
FROM NOW ON, WE GO BACK TO FRANKIE
'CAUSE HE'S GOT A CLASSY JOINT.
HERE WE COME, FRANKIE!
HEY, MAN, YOU GOT BAD DANDRUFF TODAY.
DELIVERING IN THE SNOW IS SO WONDERFUL.
THANK GOODNESS WE CHANGED BACK
INTO OUR ORIGINAL CLOTHES.
HEY, FRANK.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
JOE, IT LOOKS FABULOUS!
HEY, WHAT ABOUT MINE?
WHAT A NICE MARBLEIZING JOB, JOE.
EVEN YOU CAN MARBLEIZE,
AS LONG AS YOU GOT THE TIME AND THE PATIENCE.
AND MAYBE SOMEBODY WILL LIKE IT.
UNTIL NEXT TIME, I'M ED FELDBERG,
AND I'M JOE L'ERARIO.
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR.
AND REMEMBER, BE NICE TO YOUR FURNITURE
AND YOUR LIGHTS.
-- CAPTIONS BY VITAC -- BURBANK, PITTSBURGH, WASHINGTON
CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND THE LEARNING CHANNEL